Okay, I never write fics based off spoilers, but this idea would not leave me alone. So, if you're trying to stay spoiler free keep away from this fic. :)

I saw a comment on tumblr about the Adam Baldwin guest stars article that said "what if Castle got hurt and Kate wasn't there?" Here's my take on how that might go... :)

Disclaimer: Seriously, you should know by now, I own nothing.

Kate Beckett was livid. It took all of her willpower to keep from stomping through the hospital, to keep her face impassive. The terror that had ripped through her body when she'd gotten that phone call, she never wanted to feel that again. And after the asshole gambled with her partner's life, he had the audacity to make a joke about it? "Hey, now if he ever needs to go undercover you can say he got it in a bar fight over some hot chick." Ethan Slaughter better hope someone was there to physically restrain her from ripping his head off.

She had been wary of their little friendship from the get-go. Detective Slaughter had a unique way of solving his cases, used methods that Kate wasn't particularly fond of. She didn't want Castle picking up those habits. And yes part of it was jealousy; she didn't like the idea of him following someone else around, even if they were a guy. Not that she'd ever admit any of that out loud. She was Castle's partner, she had his back, and she wasn't sure she really trusted anyone but the boys to have it too. Watching him zoom off with the gang unit detective had been unnerving to witness.

But she agreed to let it go, let Castle have his fun. Despite all her insecurities about their relationship, she didn't doubt that he would return to her, at least as her partner. They'd gone their separate ways many times over the years, and each time they were brought back together. Kate knew this wouldn't be any different.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of your boy," Slaughter had told to her with a cocky grin, just before they left to go chase down some stupid lead. Thinking about it now almost made Kate's head spin. "Taking good care of" didn't involve hospitals in her book. Once the fear of losing him drifted away, as she learned of his condition and that he'd live, anger had quickly taken its place. If this were a cartoon, she was pretty sure steam would be coming out her ears.

Slaughters only saving grace was that Castle was awake when she entered the hospital room, his smiling face making her sigh in relief. As she took him all in, she frowned at the bandage wrapped around his head. Kate could barely stand to see him hurt.

"Hey, Castle," she said, completely ignoring Detective Slaughter, who was sitting at the edge of the bed. "You okay?"

"This?" He tried to sound nonchalant, but Kate could hear the strain in his voice. He had to be in pain. "It's just a scratch. I'll back to annoy you in no time."

"I can't wait," she answered truthfully. "Where's your mother and Alexis?"

"Downstairs, grabbing a bite to eat," he replied. "They've calmed down enough to be able to stomach some." That was more than could be said for Kate. She had to keep reminding herself that he was alive and in front of her, no matter how many images floated through her head of him not. Food didn't even sound appealing, and it'd been hours since she'd last had anything.

She nodded, and sent the writer another smile, before finally turning to look at the other man. "Detective, could I have a word for a minute, please?"

"Sure thing, Beck," he grinned, hoping off the bed. Kate scowled at him for using the nickname.

She waited until they were alone in the hallway before spinning on him, anger laced in every word as it flew out of her mouth. He'd been in the middle of speaking, saying something about being glad Castle hadn't gotten it worse, and her harsh tone stunned him into silence.

"What the hell is your problem?" It was all Kate could do to keep from shouting. "Who the hell do you think you are, dragging Castle into something like that? A gun fight? You brought a writer who doesn't carry a weapon to a gun fight? Are you completely insane?"

Slaughter's hands came up in a defensive gesture. "Hey, now, wait a minute. I didn't know it was going to be a gun fight. Those things just kind of happen. And at least he wasn't seriously injured. I should get some credit for that."

"Wasn't seriously injured?" Kate's face hardened. "A bullet grazed the side of his head, Slaughter. That's not exactly a minor aliment. Your recklessness almost cost my partner his life. You don't get credit for shit."

"He wasn't going to die," the other detective responded. "I wouldn't—"

"Yes you would have," she insisted. "If it was between his life and your own, I know which one I'd be seeing on the other side, and it would not be my partner."

He rolled his eyes. "Is that was this is about? That because you're ready and willing to lay your life down for his that you're the only one with the ability to protect him? I did everything I could to protect him."

"Really?" her voice rose. "What the hell is he doing in a fucking hospital then? Castle and I have been at the end of gunfire more times than I'd like, yet this is the first time it's ever resulted with him in the hospital. I wonder why that is? Maybe because I actually give a damn!"

Detective Slaughter laughed. "Oh I think you give more than a damn, missy. Or this conversation wouldn't be taking place. That's what's got you so torn up, isn't it? That none of this would've happened if you'd made him stay with you, pouted enough to get him to stay behind, because we both know that's all it would've taken. But you let him go, and now we're here, and you know it's all your fau—"

The last part of what he was saying was cut off by Kate's fist colliding with his nose. The force of the blow caused him to stumble backwards, knocking into a nurse that was walking down the hallway. After untangling himself from her and apologizing, he brought his hand up to touch his now bleeding nose. He winced.

"Whatever is happening between you and my partner, whatever friendship you seem to be building with him, I want it over," Kate said through clenched teeth.

"I think you broke my nose!" Slaughter cried. Kate ignored him.

"He has a family, a daughter that will be devastated if anything happens to him. That last thing he needs is to be running around with a cop who cares more about himself than his companion." Detective Slaughter's attention was on his nose, trying to stop the bleeding. Kate flicked his ear hard to make him look at her. "I don't care what strings I have to pull or how deep I have to get into it with my captain, but you won't get close enough to cause this kind of damage to him again, are we clear?"

The other detective nodded, and then grimaced at the pain it caused. "Now," Kate added, a fake smile plastered on her face. "I'm sure if you ask nice enough, you can find a nurse willing to patch you up."

Slaughter headed off to the nurse's station, though not before flipping her off. Kate rolled her eyes, not caring in the slightest. She was just glad he was gone. The thing that barreled into her next almost threw her off balance. Kate stumbled a bit, trying to keep them from crashing to the ground. She was shocked to realize it was Alexis who'd run into her, her arms wrapping around Kate in a tight hug.

"Thank you," the redhead whispered, and Kate looked over to the other end of the hall where Martha was standing in confusion.

"We were on our way back from the cafeteria and caught the majority of your argument," she explained, walking over to them.

"Oh," Kate said softly. She returned the hug, rubbing her hands up and down Alexis's back. After a moment Alexis pulled away.

"I know I haven't been as nice to you this year as I should've been," she sniffled a bit. "But after what happened at the funeral, I was afraid for him. To watch him throw himself at you, trying to beat that bullet…"she trailed off, pain crossing her features. "I told you before, he and Gram are all I've got. I can't lose either of them. And I guess I thought…I don't know what I thought, but I know now that you care about him enough to keep him safe. To make sure he comes home every night. And that's all I've wanted."

Kate smiled a sad smile down at her. "I can't promise you anything, Alexis. I wouldn't be able to keep them if I did. But I can tell you this, if he's dead, chances are, I am too. Because that's what it'd take before I'd let anything happen to your dad."

"I know that now." She hugged Kate again. "Thank you for protecting him."

"Always."

"Hey!" Castle called from his room. "Are you two just gonna stay out there forever? It's getting kinda lonely in here."

The three of them chuckled, before Kate answered him. "Yeah, we're coming. You big baby." Kate's voice dropped on the last part, but she got an "I heard that!" response from Castle anyway.

When Castle asked about Slaughter, she blew it off, said that he'd gotten a bloody nose and had told her he was probably going to head out afterwards. She'd explain what happened, the argument, her thoughts on the semi—partnership when they were alone. Kate didn't see the point in having that conversation in front of his family. Now was the time for bad jokes, heartfelt "I'll be back to normal in no times"s and crazy stories. The hard stuff could wait until later.

The more they all sat and talked, the more relieved Kate felt. He was still too pale, his voice a couple octaves lower than normal, but his smile was still bright, his laugh just as quick. She knew the meds had to be wearing off, certain movements caused a pained expression to cross his face, but he did well to hide it.

Soon, the nurse came in, syringe in hand, ready to give him a dose of morphine. It took some convincing, but finally Alexis and Martha agreed to go home. It was getting later, and they could come see him in the morning. Kate refused to leave.

"You should go too," Castle said his voice sounding a little groggy as the morphine began to take effect. "It's not comfy here."

"I'm fine, there's a small couch I can use if I get tired."

"'S not good enough," he slurred. "You should be in your own bed, not watching me sleep."

She pulled a book out of her purse. "I won't be watching you sleep, I'll be reading. Now relax, Rick. Get some sleep. You can argue with me when you wake up."

"Mmkay," he mumbled, before finally drifting off.

Kate did watch him for a little bit, ignoring the creepiness of it. He looked peaceful. So much had happened in the last four years, he'd seen so much. Writing about the psychotic things people do to each other was one thing, witnessing it on a daily basis was another entirely. It'd forced Castle to grow up a bit more, and while he still embraced his inner child with more force than anyone she'd ever known, it'd hardened him a little. What she did wasn't easy, detaching from cases that ripped you heart out and made you want to personally attack the one responsible was hard. Not to mention all the other things that had happened to them, between apartments blowing up, almost freezing to death and then almost drowning. She sometimes wonders what keeps him coming back every day. Why, when he can stay safe in his loft with his daughter, would he choose to be in her world?

She wasn't naïve. While this unorthodox partnership of theirs may have begun because of Castle's need to authenticate his books on her, they'd moved beyond that point a while ago. Kate had never wanted, nor needed a partner, the boys had suited her just fine, but now the thought of going to work without Castle being there was horrendous. He balanced her, reminded her it was okay to smile and laugh more than once in a blue moon, that acting crazy for a little while can actually make you feel better. And she grounded him, bringing him back when he went too far out there. At the risk of sounding too corny, they were made for each other.

Then why was she holding back? He'd said the words, even if he thought she didn't remember, they were out there. Yet, they were at a stalemate, not going back, but not moving forward. And Kate was pretty sure that was her fault.

But she couldn't go there, could she? At least, not yet. She wanted to be the person he deserved, and he deserved a whole person, someone who hadn't let grief tear her apart for years, hardening her walls until they were almost impossible to break. He deserved the kind of person she so desperately wanted to be, was trying to be, as she agreed to begin letting go of her mother's case. Dr. Burke had been extremely helpful, showing her things about herself she hadn't seen before.

She had a lot of work to do, before she could enter into a relationship with him without the possibility of screwing it all up. Rick Castle was her one and done. And if she was going to go there, she wanted it done right.

Reaching up, she smoothed some of his hair out of his face, before leaning down to kiss his bandaged forehead. "I love you, Richard Castle," she whispered. Then she moved to the couch to read, slipping into her own slumber soon after.