Part 1
Back at base, Grace quickly showered and changed her clothes. She needed to get out of there and fast. Josh was busy filling in the incident report from the fire at the laboratory and she wanted to be gone before he got back.
Sure, the kiss had seemed like a great idea at the time. In the adrenaline charged atmosphere of their work, it was easy to get caught up in the moment. But back at base, with her husband waiting for her in the carpark, the harsh reality of what she had done hit home. She needed to get out, clear her head.
Before she had a chance, the door to the locker room opened. Josh appeared, grinning, his muscular frame blocking the doorway and her only exit. His face fell when he saw her bag.
"You're leaving?" he asked.
She couldn't look him in the eye. "Yeah" she mumbled, pulling her sweatshirt over her head.
"You kissed me Grace," he said confused.
"I know." Her expression was pained. "I just… I can't… I can't deal with this now. Connor is waiting. I'm sorry"
She gathered her things and quickly brushed past him, her mind racing. She knew Josh well enough to know that he wouldn't let this go. What shocked her was that deep down she didn't want him to.
Part 2
Thoughts of him were invading her every waking moment and quite a few of her sleeping ones as well. She couldn't concentrate, work was a blur. She spent all her time there trying to avoid him and then every minute outside work counting the moments until she'd see him again. It was an endless cycle with no relief. She just needed to get him out of her system. Yes that was it. One kiss. She could move on. She just wished it was as easy as it sounded.
Later that week
Grace was standing at her locker, packing her bag. A week of studious avoidance on her part had made things tense with Josh. She could feel him watching her but she wouldn't give in, wouldn't turn around. Standing in the locker room in only his jeans, she didn't trust herself to look at him.
"Grace you can't keep avoiding this. We have to talk about it eventually," he said finally.
"No we don't." She kept her gaze down, as he pulled his tshirt over his head.
"Okay fine. We don't have to talk." He moved towards her suggestively, pinning her up against the locker. She couldn't look away, her heart was racing and she realised she was holding her breath. She searched her mind for those breathing exercises they'd learnt as part of their special ops training but her mind was blank. Quick. Anything. But it was too late. His mouth was on hers and her body melted into his.
A door slamming down the hall broke their spell. Josh pulled anyway and gathered his bag. Grinning at her cheekily, he said "I'll see you tomorrow Gracie" and was gone.
Okay two kisses. That's okay, she told herself. All part of getting him out of her system. She was still in control. Sighing, she let her head fall forward to rest on her open locker door. Who was she kidding? He had all the control and she knew it.
Part 3
This is ridiculous, Grace thought, the following day. She'd already tripped over her own feet twice in one shift, merely from being in his presence. Twice his strong hands had shot out, grabbing her arm as she stumbled and righting her again. How humiliating! If she kept this up, he was bound to think she was doing it on purpose.
"You're enjoying this way too much." she said, glaring at him, the second time she stumbled.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," he laughed, with mock innocence.
The next day
Josh stood up from the bench as she walked into the locker room. They'd been in separate cars today, a welcome relief, thought Grace, as she'd managed to recover her balance and co-ordination, two skills which had been sorely lacking lately whenever Josh had been around.
"Long day?" he asked.
She nodded, packing her bag slowly, a deliberate attempt to prolong the conversation. Connor wasn't picking her up, he was working late. She wondered what had happened to her steely resolve to stay away from him, although really she hadn't had much of it to begin with.
Josh moved closer. "You want to get out of here?"
Her legs felt like jelly. She smiled up at him hesitantly.
Just then, they heard Stella call out from down the hall.
Grace and Josh immediately shifted away from each other as Stella appeared at the doorway, smirking. "Josh one of your girlfriends is outside."
"What?" he replied, confused as Grace looked away uncomfortably.
"Big boobs, big hair. Says her name is Gina?"
"Shit." Josh muttered under his breath. He glanced over at Grace. He saw the hurt and confusion on her face but in an instant it was gone, replaced by a mask. She closed her locker door and left without meeting his eyes.
Part 4
Grace watched from behind a pillar as Josh made his way over to Gina. She was pretty, Grace conceded, in an obvious sort of way. Grace knew she had no right to feel jealous, he didn't belong to her. But he could, a little voice inside her head whispered. The thought sent a rush of excitement down her spine. She watched as Gina greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and saw his body tense. She couldn't make out what they were saying but it didn't appear to be going well. Gina's voice escalated.
Suddenly, Lawson appeared behind her, startling her out of her daze. "Who's the girl?" he asked.
Grace shrugged, trying to appear casual. "Oh you know Josh, it's a new one every week." Lawson laughed, "He's a heartbreaker alright." He peered at her closely. "You okay Grace?"
"Yeah I'm fine" she smiled ruefully. Lawson glanced at Josh and back to Grace again. He started to say something but thought better of it. "Okay. Well have a good night." "You too." she replied, gathering her bag and heading to her car, with a final glance back at Josh.
Later that evening, at Grace and Connor's house.
Grace, curled up on the couch, replayed the day's events in her mind. Not for the first time, she wondered what Josh saw in her. Sure she knew she wasn't unfortunate looking, one of her mum's favourite expressions, but she'd certainly never been described as sexy or hot… in fact, angelic often topped the list of descriptions given to her. She wondered what Josh saw that made him look at her the way he did. She shivered in excitement. There was no denying, as clichéd as it sounded, that he made her feel alive. She wanted to feel that way again.
"Babe did you hear me?"
Grace jumped a mile as Connor interrupted her thoughts.
He chuckled, "Grace you were a million miles away."
Smiling apologetically, she got up from the couch. "Sorry yeah I was just thinking I should get ready for work."
"I thought you weren't working the midnight shift tonight?" Connor said, frustrated. He resented her job, she didn't understand how exhilarated it made her feel, how important it was for her to feel like she was making a difference.
"Uh Sandrine's not feeling too well so I'm covering for Dom. You know, to get Lawson off his back." Grace lied.
Connor sighed, "You have to learn to say no Gracie."
She bit her lip, deep in thought. He had no idea how right he was.
Part 5
An hour later, Grace stood outside Josh's door, brow furrowed. She hadn't yet worked up the courage to knock. Fleetingly, she considered the possibility that he may not be alone. Just the thought of him with anyone else made her stomach churn. She realised that this was the point of no return. Steadying herself, she raised her hand to knock.
The door flew open instantly. Josh stood before her in jeans and a tight black t-shirt, grinning cheekily.
"Geez Grace, I thought I'd have one foot in the grave before you finally knocked."
"You were watching me?" she asked, embarrassed.
He chuckled, "Yeah I saw you out front."
Grace remained standing in the doorway. She was dying to ask about Gina but she knew she had no right. She felt like such a hypocrite, she had a husband for goodness sake!
Josh studied her face. "She means nothing to me," he said seriously.
Gosh how does he do that? Grace thought. Know her every thought, every emotion instinctively. Just know her.
She took a deep breath and moved closer to him, letting the door close behind her.
"And what do I mean to you?" She asked, staring up at him, braver than she'd felt in a long time.
Josh looked down at her, his heart overflowing. "Everything." he replied, picking her up and wrapping her legs around his waist as he carried her to the bedroom…
Epilogue
Dom was inside the supermarket stocking up on supplies for the rest of their shift. Josh was leaning against the bonnet of the car. His eyes sparkled as he watched Grace pace up and down the curb, full of energy and anxious to be on their way.
"How many cups of coffee have you had today?" he teased.
She turned to him, hands on hips and face defiant. "Four."
He shook his head, rubbing his chin in a poor attempt to hide his laughter.
"Well somebody kept me up late last night," she said pointedly.
"Is that right?" He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him to stand between his legs, grinning at her. She cupped his face in her hands and smiled at him. Gosh I could get used to this feeling, she thought.
"Josh?" He started at the sound of his name. Turning around, he saw Gina getting out of her car. He drew Grace towards him protectively.
"What? Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" Gina asked.
Josh sighed. "Gina this is Grace"
"Nice to meet you." Grace said politely. She recognised her as the girl from the station the other day.
Gina chuckled sadly. "So this is the famous Grace. Finally we meet."
Grace looked at Josh quizzically.
"He used to go on and on about you when he talked about work. His face would light up whenever he mentioned you. Pretty hard for a girl to compete with that." Gina smiled ruefully. "You're a lucky girl."
Grace smiled to herself, standing there with Josh's arms wrapped around her waist. Her hands remained on Josh's chest.
Gina glanced at the wedding ring on Grace's left hand before looking at Josh pointedly. "Well if it doesn't work out between you two, you know where to find me."
Grace raised her eyebrows in disbelief as Gina walked away. "Classy," she said finally as Josh chuckled, kissing her forehead.
Dom came out of the supermarket, his arms full. "Oi you two break it up would you?" Josh opened the door for her to get into the driver's seat as Dom struggled to get into the back while holding all his food.
"Alright let's get this show on the road." Dom said gleefully, demolishing his packet of chips at break neck speed. Josh shook his head laughing.
A call came over the radio and Lawson requested an ETA.
"20 bucks you can't get there in under 10" Josh wagered.
"My aren't you a sucker for punishment. I would have thought you'd have learnt your lesson by now. Besides you still owe me $20 from the last time." she replied.
He laughed. "Okay fine, double or nothing."
"You're on." As Grace met Josh's eyes, she realised there was nowhere she'd rather be.