Never, an inuyasha fanfic

A.N. I do not own Inuyasha.

He was never looking for her. The girl had not crossed his mind in centuries. She was insignificant, hardly a blip on his radar after several millennia of life. Yet, she was here. In front of him, idly sipping tea, was his brother's wench.

Sapphire eyes peeked up from her book-an oddity in itself in the technologically advanced world-and set her tea down. She offered him a pleasant smile. "Hello."

Curiosity nagged at him and he was unable to do anything other than sit. He was only here to buy a tea and get back to his office, but he could not turn down such a mystery. "Miko." While he knew her once, he had to admit he could not recall her name. Girl or woman was demeaning in this modern era. Miko was the only title he knew her by.

"Never did care to use my name. I go by a different one now anyway. I am Yukimura Tsume. How about yourself?" She sipped her tea and looked up at him, his golden eyes stirring vague feelings of familiarity within the depths of her soul.

"The name you always knew me by, Miko. How are you alive?" He was blunt, to the point. He did not care if he ever saw her again, but he was curious.

"Time travel. Originally I was born in the late nineteen hundreds. I returned after the battle to my original timeline. The shikon no tama froze me, however. Since, I've lived much like youkai used to. I take on a new identity and typically stay with it from fifteen to thirty-five. After that, it gets too difficult to mimic the aging process, but it's getting easier with all the anti age products out to keep humans looking younger. Might stick to this life til I'm forty." Her explanation was simple, as if practiced. Youkai lived openly now, so they no longer had to keep up with such charades, but for a human turned immortal, things could become more dangerous.

The ease with which she briefed him with spoke of her practice. How many youkai knew she lived? It was curious that she had been around for nine hundred years without his notice. "How odd." It was. Yet he cared naught. He got up and retrieved his tea before walking out.

x~x~x~x~x

"Lord Sesshomaru-sama! Rin made you something!" The fifteen year old had not yet lost her childish exuberance. She grabbed his sleeve and lead him to a room she used to work on her many different interests.

In the center was a grand painting of her Lord with a faceless lady, Rin and Jaken cheering at the sides. The colors were vivid, yet not overpowering. Sesshomaru's expression was stoic, yet there was a warmth in his eyes only Rin would recognize.

Arching an eyebrow, Sesshomaru looked at his ward. "This Sesshomaru has no mate."

"But one day, m'Lord will! And Rin will add her face." She beamed, looking up at him with adoration.

x~x~x~x~x

Sitting up in bed, the inu youkai was breathing a bit unevenly. He growled. The miko had triggered these memories. He was certain of it. He did not enjoy thoughts of his ward any longer. Her death had brought about more pain than he was willing to admit.

"Sesshomaru-sama? I sensed your distress." Stepping into the room without invitation, the female was carrying a cup of herbal tea. She set the cup down on his nightstand, regarding him with a gentle curiosity.

He was immediately soothed by his advisor. Her earthbound nature was what had him keeping her near. "You are immortal."

Surprised by his simple statement, she nodded. "Yes. Since I took my vows." She sat at his feet, looking up at him. She knew better than to sit beside him, though she was not surprised when he pulled her up beside him himself.

Her scent was necessary to calm himself at the moment. He wanted her near. He sighed as he laid back, leaving her to sit at the edge of the bed. "You live a human life."

"Yes." It surprised her once more that he was speaking of her. On nights like this, however rare, she would sit in silence or occasionally he would have her read aloud. No one knew of this of course. To any who asked, she was the advisor in the human-youkai relations section of his empire.

"Why?" He had never thought on it before. She had lived only three hundred years-A paltry sum in comparison to his own lifetime. Yet she had lived under many names and even made it clear she would give him only 15 years of service since he met her ten years ago. After that, she would disappear and take on yet another life.

"Because my immortality is not natural. You were born a youkai, you will always be one. I was born human, and became immortal. To live openly is to make myself a target for greedy humans. And besides, I am fundamentally human. I think like one. I feel like one. I go through these lifetimes to maintain my connection to that. The second I live as an immortal is the second I lose myself." She offered him a gentle smile.

He was uncertain why he had felt the need to understand so suddenly. But the idea that she and even the miko lived like common humans bothered him deeply all of the sudden. They were above it, yet chose it. He released her from his side. She would only stay with him another five years. Then she'd be gone. Could he handle that?

Sensing his heart hardening towards her, she sighed and pushed his hair back. "Good night, m'Lord."

"Good night, Cora." He turned from her.

x~x~x~x~x

"I thought you knew she was alive," the wolf stated simply. "It's not like we've been hiding her or keeping her a secret from you. She lives in secrecy. But anyone from the old days could recognize her. In fact, she and the kit stay pretty well in touch."

The icy inu youkai stared at him for a moment. Could he have possibly passed her by and not noticed before? He had traveled the world, but so too, had the miko from what the wolf said. Could they have crossed paths previously? No. No, he would have noticed such a thing. Even if he had, it would not matter now.

"Ayame and I are having her over for dinner tonight-The kit is coming too. If you want to come, you are welcome." Sharp blue eyes met cool gold a moment.

"No. That is not necessary." He stood, nodding at his old acquaintance. "I shall see you at the next banquet." As powerful as they were, the two had retained titles as lords, and periodically, all the lords would get together for discussion at grand banquets. It was more hassle than it was worth, in many ways, yet it was a tie to the past when they were greater.

x~x~x~x~x

"Sesshomaru-sama, you remember Kohaku," Rin murmured, her cheeks a little pink as she shuffled her feet.

The taijya swallowed thickly at the stoic lord's stare. Bowing deeply, the boy straightened. "Honorable Lord, I've come to ask for the hand of your ward, Rin."

x~x~x~x~x

Cora was standing next to his bed by the time he woke, his eyes red. "Leave." There was ice in his voice.

The brunette sat at his feet. "You need me." It was a simple statement. She passively allowed him to pin her, meeting his enraged stare without flinching. "You don't frighten me, my Lord."

After a few moments, the rage subsided. "You disobeyed an order." His tone was deceptively light, a cool anger washing over him at the realization. "I would be within my rights to terminate our contract."

"But you won't. You need me too much." There was no bite to her tone, only the ring of a simple truth. She pushed him off her gently, knowing he allowed her to do so. Tucking him back under his covers, she slipped in beside him, then let him take the dominant position over her.

Unable to allow her to leave, he took an alpha stance to keep his pride from being wounded. He rested his nose on her neck, inhaling her calming scent. It was adequate protection from the dreams.

x~x~x~x~x

"I hear you've been asking about me." The voice was light, almost teasing as the female sat beside him. "I never took you for the type to be sitting in the park in the middle of a work day." She looked out ahead passively, blue eyes calm.

Impassive, the male finally turned to look at her. "Why do you live as a human, Kagome?" Her name came to him easily after his conversations with the wolf and even the kit. Appraising her idly, he wondered if her answer would be the same as his advisor's.

Slight surprise entered her eyes at his use of her name. She looked away. "I live this way because there is no other for me. I am not a youkai, I am not a human. Though my lifespan is that of the former, my development was of the latter. What would I do?"

There was something in her tone then. A loneliness, a loss? He stood and left, without a word. Her loss reminded him too much of his own.

x~x~x~x~x

"Thank you, my Lord!" Beaming, Rin stood on her toes and hugged her father figure tightly. "Rin will-I will visit all the time!"

Kohaku nodded, bowing. "Thank you, my lord Sesshomaru-sama." He was clearly happy, his new wife's exuberance just making him more so.

"You must take care of her," his tone was steely, leaving no room for argument.

"I'd never do anything else," the human man agreed solemnly.

x~x~x~x~x

A roar of rage and loss ripped through the mighty lord as he woke. The last time he'd seen her alive-The very last! They'd been killed on their voyage home, the taijya giving his life in vain. Beads of sweat were gathered on his skin, out of place.

In the doorway, Cora frowned. Her scent no longer soothed. She came close, touching his arm, only to be swatted away. "My Lord?"

"Leave me," he growled.

This time, she obeyed.

x~x~x~x~x

"Nightmares?" a familiar voice prompted, walking into the great lord's bedroom uninvited.

Seeing the miko surprised him, but he did not let it show. He had not left his home in a week, not left his room or eaten in that time. Cora had most likely called the wolf, who told her about the miko. "Leave me be."

"No," she replied simply, standing before him, an old fire entering her eyes. She set a tray next to his bed. "You're going to eat, then bathe."

Snarling, he made to knock the tray back, only to have his wrist seized by the miko. His eyes bled red. "Do not touch this Sesshomaru's person, Wench." He shoved at her, but was shocked to find her grip solid and steady. He narrowed his eyes, threatening silently. Former ally or not, he would do what was necessary and he did not take kindly to his orders being disregarded so.

Patiently, the miko sat beside him. "You have to eat."

"What does it matter to you, Miko?" he demanded harshly.

Ignoring his question, she brought the tray closer. "You need to eat."

Half enraged at her lack of response, he became keenly aware of his stomach's needs. Glaring, he shoved her from his bed and ate.

Watching him carefully, she stood a few feet away. Once he was finished, she took his hand and pulled him up. "Now to bathe. You smell." She wrinkled her nose, more for effect. It wasn't bad, just a hint of sweat. The servants would slip in the second he was in the bath to change the sheets.

Not entirely certain why he allowed this, he followed her to his private bath. He vaguely wondered how she knew the way, though he supposed she'd spoken at length with his advisor. As they entered the room built around a natural hot spring, he saw her smile. "Are you going to stay while I bathe?" He arched a brow, having a memory of a shy girl.

"Do you want me here?" she replied simply, looking impartial. Time had given her less modesty and while he was attractive, he would not be the first naked man she'd seen.

That was certainly not the reaction he'd imagined. He shed his sleep attire without care and walked into the steaming water. Without word, he began to wash himself. He sensed her behind him and did not protest when she began to wash his hair from the side, sitting on a rock.

Lathering his hair thoroughly and massaging his scalp, she worked on him a few minutes, infusing healing energies into her hands. When she finally stopped, the male was relaxed, dipping his head back to rinse. When he came back up, he turned to look at her.

Rinsing her hands, she stood up and met his gaze evenly. "We've all lost, Sesshomaru. We all remember things we wish we did not. It's a matter of reconciling past and present." She turned to go.

Before she could take one step, he was out of the water, seizing her and throwing her clothed form in. She spoke as if it were simple. But he ached. The memories burned him and no matter what he did, they came back to haunt him!

Kagome came back up, her clothes clinging to her as she crawled out to stand before him. "You must remember. You have to remember and when you're so full of sadness, of rage, you can't take it, you come back to now."

"I am alone now." His voice held no emotion, his eyes even less. But it was this that ripped at him. Why the memories burned beyond normal grief. He was utterly alone. He could not stand even his acquaintances long, unable to connect yet unable to disconnect as well. It was an existence where all he held was his name and title.

"You don't have to be, Sesshomaru. There are those who care." She touched his cheek lightly, looking up into his dead eyes. She shivered in her wet clothes, moving to walk around him.

He caught her again and dragged her to his chest, returning to the water, her soaked attire getting ripped to ribbons until it was her flesh against his. He watched her, waiting for her to protest, to thrash or scream. When she did not react, he pressed her back against a rock, inhaling her scent. No fear. No anxiety. Shock settled in when she touched his face again and then pressed her lips to his.

"Is this what you want, Sesshomaru?" The words were soft against his lips. Her touch was light and gentle.

What did he want? He wasn't sure himself. But in this moment, he did not feel alone. He kissed her this time, pressing their bodies together. He reached down and felt between her legs, sliding his claw along her opening. She was already a little wet. He kissed her throat and spread her legs.

She winced when he pushed into her, but had expected this. He was not making love to her, he was taking what he wanted. She leaned back against the rocks, closing her eyes.

Lost in the sensation, he pulled from her and thrust back in, grabbing her and making her open her eyes. He kept their gazes locked as he pumped in and out of her, seeing her discomfort. He kissed her and slowed, reaching down between them to stroke her clit. He waited until he scented her pleasure before he pulled his hand back and lifted her up onto the rock. He was not satisfied, his beast screamed at him to take her.

When the lord went still, she tugged him before her, for once looking down at him from her position on the rocks. She met his gaze and lowered her body back into the water. She lightly ran her hands over his body. "Let me help."

x~x~x~x~x

Arching an eyebrow, Sesshomaru looked at his ward. "This Sesshomaru has no mate."

"But one day, m'Lord will! And Rin will add her face." She beamed, looking up at him with adoration.

x~x~x~x~x

Jerking awake, the inu looked down at the woman beside him and felt immediate calm. They had spent a full day exploring each other's bodies and he could tell she was still tired. Centuries ago, he would have felt disgust at his actions. Now he felt oddly content. She was from his past and she bent to the present. The miko was his balance that she had spoken of earlier, their ties not so great to cause pain at her presence, yet familiar enough to bring comfort in the moment.

Stirring, the woman opened her eyes and peered at him. "Ah, I'm sore. But in a good way." She smiled at him, unsurprised when his arm remained locked on her waist. "Did you dream?"

"Yes." He pushed her beneath him, kissing her throat.

Making a soft sound of pleasure, she smiled. "Are you in pain?"

"No." He could smell her arousal, now familiar to his nose, and he looked down into her eyes. "This Sesshomaru will mark you on this night. You will no longer take new names."

Accepting this as she accepted him, she nodded. They did not love each other but they needed each other. He needed her for balance, and she needed him to finally reconcile that she was not, nor ever would be again, mortal. "You will be mine and I will be yours."

x~x~x~x~x

"So, Shippou-san, do you ever think he will take her as mate?" Cora questioned as they sat in the study, playing chess. It was he who had contacted her after Sesshomaru had failed to meet for their usual meetings.

Shrugging, the kit moved his piece. "I knew once he started asking questions, he needed her. Mating? Never."