NA : I wanted to write something about the indescribable feeling of warmth that you feel when you fall in love.
I will see where I will go with this story. If you like, don't hesitate to review =)
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I felt normal.
Just that. Normal.
Not angry, not burning, nothing more than fine. I was living my life, every day like the one before.
It was good. It was simple. Nothing complicated. Nothing to worry about.
I had a wonderful girlfriend, sweet, nice, a beautiful heart and a beautiful face. She was perfect.
I could spend hours to look at her smile, her eyes. Blue like the sea and deep like the sky above us.
I did love her, with all my heart. I was lucky to have her.
We had our tough times, of course. At the beginning. There was passion, it was new, it was intense. Then she broke my heart, but she was worth it, she was the kind of person you fight for. 'cause they have a pure heart, even if they make mistakes. We're only humans after all, right ?
It's not an excuse, I know. There's people who aren't. You know, human. They lost the right to carry this name. I know some. But it's another story.
Right now, all I knew is that I wanted to feel again. To feel alive. To feel the fire under my skin, my heart racing and my breath taken away.
I felt gulty to want something more, something else that I had. 'Cause I had everything I needed to be happy. To be fine. And I was. I was...
But is it a life if you don't try to reach what your heart crave for ?
Is it right if you let the fire inside of you die, slowly ?
Maybe a small fire is better than a great one ? Maybe it lasts much longer ? I think so... My scientific mind is arguing on that. I became a reasonable person since a few years.
Life is hard when you don't know what you want, what you need or who you are.
I had a good life, I had a wonderful girlfriend that I loved and who loved me. She was my heart and she was my friend too.
I had to enjoy what I had, and stop wanting something more.
'Cause you know what you lose, but you don't know what you get.
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It was a sunny monday morning. The streets were full of life, even at 7am.
I went to my usual coffee shop, but today it was closed for repairs. As I needed my morning dose of caffeine, I went to the café across the street. The « Superb Coffee ». 'what a name ' I thought to myself. The beautiful woodwork on the front gave a real character and I wondered why I hadn't crossed the street sooner.
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As I pushed the door, the smell of fresh coffee and the ambient noise of the espresso machine greeted me.
I spotted a table in the corner, near of the window, hit by the soft light of the morning. 'perfect.'
I walked there and sat down. The café was half-crowded, the ambient had something special. Something warm. Maybe the wood effect. Maybe something else. I couldn't place it.
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A woman's voice brought me out of my mind.
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« Geez, watch what you're doing dude, it's not water you just spilled, it's coffee ! Don't waste the coffee ! »
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She wasn't really tall, but she had something impressive in her way to look at you with her blue ice eyes and cursing in russian.
I didn't pay attention at my left side, where's a woman was standing with a tray in hand. I couldn't see much of her features because of the morning light behind her. But I did hear her voice. A nice one. Like a cloud of milk.
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« Morning, what can I get for you ? »
I wasn't fully awake because I needed some seconds to find my words. And the waitress noticed.
« Do you want the menu ? I think that's your first visit here. We have a lot of.. »
« Coffee. Sorry. Hi. I will take a coffee, please ?» I was babbling. Nonsense. I was definitely not awake today.
« Coffee it is. »
It must have been funny because I could hear her smile in her voice.
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I grabbed my phone to check on my mails. I worked not so far from here, about 10 minutes walk.
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The waitress was back with my coffee. She put it down on my table and when I lifted my head to thank her, I met her smile. This time I could see it. I could see her brown eyes, her dark hair, her dimple. I could see her.
My mouth was still open to say something. But I had forgot. I just closed it and nodded a thank you and smiled to her before she left with another smile and a quick head movement on her right. Body language. She was intrigued.
It was my turn to shake my head and I made a mental note to stop watching these tv shows.
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I took a first sip of coffee. It was amazing. Much better than my old coffee shop on the other side of the road.
I kept the mug in my hand while I was watching people walked outside, on the street. I like the smell of coffee, especially in the first hours of morning.
It was time for me to leave. I sent a quick message to my girlfriend and was about to pay when I realized that I had left my money at home. I felt instantaneously embarrassed, I wasn't going to run away without paying, was I ? Well... I don't like to run, so it wasn't an option. And I didn't want to have the little russian cursing me for this life and the next because I didn't pay for this delicious coffee.
I walked to the bar, and cleared my voice.
« excuse me, it's embarrassing and it's a first time for me but I forgot my money this morning and... »
I couldn't finish, I was cut by the little woman.
« No money ? Do we look like a free-coffee bar ? Listen blondie, if you can't pay for le café.. »
It was her turn to be cut in her track.
« Kenz ', leave it already. I'm on it. Go see if you can wake Vex, seems he can't hear his phone. »
« Alright, alright ! But get the money or get the coffee back. » And with that, I received a death look that I was sure had just create holes.
« It's okay, she has a mouth as big as her heart. »
« Well, she must probably have a blue whale's heart then."
She laughed.
Did you ever heard something and then you realize that you could listen to it for the rest of your life and you know, you know that you will never be tired of it?
"Definitely a big blue whale."
I laughed too. We smiled to each other and for a few seconds I had forgot everything, even my name. Just for two seconds. But it was enough.
"I will pay you. I will pay for my coffee. I just wasn't really awake this morning, I think. I'm sorry."
She put her hand on my forearm and squeezed it a little.
"It's okay, really. You will just have to come back here tomorrow morning and take another coffee. I will make it count for two. See? No big."
And again I lost my ability to speak. I just nodded 'yes' and tried to fix my mind.
"Focus."
"Focus?"
'oh my.. I said it out loud!'
"Nothing. I'll be back."
"Did you just quote Terminator to impress me?" she bit her lower lip.
"I..I..Oh god. I'm sorry. I'm really late, I will come back tomorrow morning, I promise. Thank you for your kindness and your coffee. I have to go."
The only thing I remember is that I was walking as fast as I could without running.
It was a sunny monday morning.