Just a Mark and Lexie one-shot. Somewhere after they both slept with different people. I'm yet to actually get to that point in the Season, since being in England, we're quite far behind you guys and I haven't had the time to actually sit and watch episodes online. That's a lie. I would if I didn't write. So, if I were you, consider yourself lucky I'm writing and not finding things to watch online. So, I'm just going by what I've read. I apologise for any mistakes or anything that doesn't fit in with the show. You'll just have to deal with it. I own nothing. As always, the characters belong to Shonda Rhimes. Who I'm disliking an awful lot for doing the whole Lexie and Alex thing. Reviews are appreciated.
Ooh, and go see Valentine's Day. Eric Dane, Patrick Dempsey and Bradley Cooper. Those are reasons in itself to see it. Especially the scene near the end with Eric Dane in. Ah, he looked too good.
"I'm a bastard. I'm a cheating, obnoxious bastard. I mean, it's my fault that we're not at home right now. It's my fault that she's moved back to yours and it's my fault that she slept with Karev." The last word was fill with bitterness and resentment towards the man. To put it simply, Mark hated Alex Karev. "I shouldn't have given her an ultimatum, I shouldn't have expected her to give up everything to help raise a kid. She's not ready for it, I know she's not. God, she's a kid herself. She's just a fucking kid. She's got everything ahead of her, I'm an old man. An old man who screwed things up with someone amazing." Mark fell silent, staring straight ahead of himself at the bar. Derek was silently sitting beside him, both with a glass of scotch in front of them.
"You should tell her." Derek said quietly, unsure of how to console his best friend when he got like this. Mark never got like this over a woman. Never.
"What?" Mark asked, too lost in his thoughts to realise Derek had actually said anything.
"You should tell Lexie. Tell her how you feel. She'll listen."
"She might not." Mark shrugged, picking up his glass and downing the drink that was in it.
Derek sighed as he looked at Mark, he looked hopeless, defeated, as though nothing was going to get him back up from this low he was in. Nothing, but Lexie. "She will. She's a Grey. She may say she doesn't want to listen, she may push you away, but deep down, she wants to hear what you have to say. She needs to be told that she's loved."
"She's not Meredith," Mark mumbled somewhat angrily. It wasn't Meredith they were talking about, it wasn't Derek's relationship with Meredith. It was Mark's relationship with Lexie, or lack of anyway.
"I know she's not. I know she's nothing like Meredith in so many ways, but at the same time, she's like Meredith in so many different ways."
"I love her. I'm in love with her." His words were barely more than a whisper, Derek had to strain to hear them, but he had said them. He was in love with Lexie Grey. Now, he knew that he'd never really been in love with Addison. He loved her, that much he knew, but this, what he had with Lexie was completely different to what he'd had with Addison. He didn't have that feeling in the pit of his stomach each time he had been around Addison, yet he did around Lexie. He managed to sleep without Addison beside him, but with Lexie, he needed her there. He needed to feel the warmth of her small frame snuggled up against his.
"I mean it, Mark. Tell her before it's too late. Get up off your ass and get round to see her. Meredith's at work, but she's meeting me here. So is Karev, before that comes into your head. Go to the house and see if she's there, talk to her." Taking his keys from his pocket, he took the house key from the chain and pushed it towards Mark. "Go."
Mark remained where he was, his eyes on the key that Derek had just pushed towards him, could he really do this? Could he actually go and tell Lexie how he felt? He had to, he needed to do it. Without saying a word, Mark grabbed the key off the bar and got up, a tiny smile on his lips as he looked at Derek. It was at moments like this that he was grateful for a friend like Derek. He made his way out of Joe's and to the parking lot, he had only had a couple so he knew that he'd be absolutely fine to drive to see Lexie. Yet he needed to work out what he was going to say when he got there.
Driving as fast as he could without the chance of getting pulled over, it wasn't long before he arrived at Meredith's house, he could see the living room light on and he only hoped that it was Lexie sitting in the room and not someone else who had suddenly decided to take refuge in Meredith's house. Closing his car door, he made his way up to the front door, holding the door key in his hand. There was a part of him which was thinking that he should knock, but another part of him wanted to just go in and surprise her.
After standing outside for another five minutes, Mark put the key in the lock and turned it, pushing the door open. He could hear the television, sounding as though it was something Mark would never dream of watching. He closed the door behind him, pushing the key back into his pocket as he walked to the living room. The first thing he noticed was Lexie laying on the sofa staring at the television, one of his sweatshirts drowning her. He stood in the doorway just looking at her, she looked beautiful, she really did.
"Lexie," he said softly, taking a few steps towards her, causing her to look up at Mark.
"How did you get in, the door was locked?" She replied, sitting up on the sofa, pulling her legs against her chest.
"Derek gave me his key," he shrugged, pushing his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. "You've been crying."
Lexie knew her eyes were red, she knew that anyone who saw her would be able to tell that she had been crying. Really, it was to do with Mark, but she could get away with blaming it on the movie. "It's the movie."
Mark looked towards the television and nodded his head, unconvinced. "The movie." There was the tiniest hint of sarcasm in his tone and he hoped that it wasn't going to piss Lexie off. That wasn't why he was there.
"If you're here to be an ass, you can just walk back out." Lexie snapped, her eyes remaining on Mark.
"I'm not here to be an ass, Lexie." He moved towards the sofa, sitting on the arm of it the opposite side to what Lexie was on. "I wanted to talk."
Lexie looked at Mark curiously, pulling the sleeves of his sweatshirt over her hands. "I think you've said all you need to say, Mark. You've said more than you could have said. We're done, I get that. We both slept with other people. Fine."
"It's not fine, Lexie. It's as far from being fine as you can possibly fucking get. You slept with Karev, I slept with Addison. We both screwed up. I know I asked too much of you with Sloan and the baby. You're not ready for a family, I am."
"What's your point, Mark? If you even have one."
Letting a sigh escape his lips, he moved so he was sitting on the sofa properly, his eyes on the television as he tried to work out what he wanted to say. What he needed to say. "I have one," he answered quietly, slowly turning his head to look at Lexie. "I don't sleep. At night, I can't sleep. I've been so used to having you there, I can't sleep without you next to me. I hate seeing other guys around you, right now, Karev especially. Seeing you smile, I can't help but smile too because you're happy. The only time I don't think about you, is when I'm in the OR. The rest of the time, it's you. Fuck it, even in the OR, I think about you. You're Lexie Grey."
"I'm still not seeing your point in all this," Lexie said softly as she starting to play with the sleeves of the sweatshirt.
"I'm getting there, Lexie." He reassured before continuing. "You're not ready for a family, I get that. I didn't, but I do now. Sloan's my daughter, I'm not just going to give that up, I can't. But you, I can't give you up either, I'm not going to."
"You made your choice, you chose her."
"Fuck it, Lex. Can I not have you both? I'm not asking you to be her Mother, I'm not asking anything. I don't even fucking know what she wants. I know what I want though and that's you. Sloan's my daughter, it's like another chance a being a Dad after what happened with Addison."
Relaxing a little more, Lexie stretched her legs out slightly, it was her own way of being ever so slightly closer to Mark without really moving. She wanted to hear what he had to say and she knew the whole Addison baby situation was a touchy subject for Mark. "You can take your coat off, you know." Lexie offered, a small smile gracing her lips as she looked at him. It was her way of telling him that she didn't want him to suddenly up and leave, that she wanted to talk this through.
Seeing the brunette smile, Mark couldn't help himself from smiling back. Smiling wasn't something he done all that often, smirking and grinning, he could do. But it wasn't until Lexie that he genuinely smiled. Unzipping his jacket, Mark took it off and laid it on the arm off the chair before turning back to face Lexie a little more. "I don't want to give that up, Lexie."
"I know," she whispered. "But we can't just go back to how things were before. We want different things. I don't want a family now. You don't want to wait. I know that it hurt when Addison had the abortion, I do. I've seen the look on your face when you've talked about it, it hurt you. I'm not ready for all of that, I'm still a resident, you're an attending. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone, I do. I can't raise a family and do this."
"I'm not asking you to. I'm not giving up Sloan, if she wants to be a part of my life, I'm not going to stop that. But what I refuse to give up and let go is this, us. I refuse to let our relationship fall apart. I slept with Addison and I'm sorry, more than anything, I'm sorry. I know me saying that she was there isn't a reason, I know it's not. I want you, Little Grey. I love you." As he said the last three words, he looked down towards the floor, scared of Lexie's reaction to the words. When he felt her foot nudge him a minute or so later, he brought his eyes up from the floor and locked them with hers.
"You can't say that if you don't mean it. It's not something you can just throw around."
Placing one of his hands on her leg, he began to brush his thumb across it as he spoke once again. "I've said those words to two people in my life, Lex. You and Addison. But lately, I've realised that each time I said it to Addison, I didn't get this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. I realised that the main reason I stayed with her in New York was to get back at Derek. But you, I get that feeling each time I hear your voice, or feel your breath against my skin. I'm with you because waking up with you each morning is what I really want. You're what I want. I loved Addison, I did. But I was never in love with her."
As she listened to Mark speak, Lexie kept her eyes on his hand that was on her leg, it was comforting having it there. But hearing his last words, she looked up straight away, shocked with what he said. Mark Sloan was in love with her? Plain ol' Lexie Grey. Surely he was delusional or drunk or something. There was no reason for him to be in love with her, she was nothing special. "You... You're not... You..."
"Get to your point, Little Grey." Mark encouraged, a tiny smirk on his lips now.
"What do you mean by you were never in love with her? You don't mean..." Lexie paused, her eyes fixed on his. "You're... Me." Alright, now she was sounding stupid. She should be able to put a sentence together, it wasn't that hard.
Mark couldn't help but chuckle softly at her inability to be completely coherent, but he knew what she was saying. "I am, Little Grey. At least, I think I am. It's new to me, I've never felt like this before. It fucking scares the shit out of me, but at the same time, it's the best feeling ever. I can't let you go."
"What are we meant to do though?" She asked as she moved on the sofa, ever so slightly closer to Mark.
"Work on this. Relationships aren't meant to be easy, are they? I love you, Lexie. I'm not giving you up, I can't. Give us another shot, please?"
"You're in love with me," she whispered, placing her hand over his and gripping it gently. She still couldn't believe it, but at the same time, she knew it was true. Mark Sloan was in love with her.
"I am, Lexie. I'm in love with you."
"Relationships aren't meant to be easy, are they?" She repeated his words, a smile on her face as she leant in and pressed her lips softly against his. "Just for the record, I love you too."
Done. Finito. Review, please?