Author's Note: So this takes place at the end of "Britney/Brittany"and is a bit AU. There's established F/R because it does take place in the episode, but I can't get away from Puckelberry angst and it starts off with some Quinn for good measure. Enjoy and let me know what you think :)
Disclaimer: Don't own Glee
"I said what you wanted me to, he shot me down. So congrats. Looks like he really loves you."
Her vision is blurred as she turns from the girl he loves, tears are falling freely as she stumbles down the hall. She focuses on putting one foot in front of the other until she makes it to her car. Once safely inside, Quinn lets go. She knows she can't keep these tears in, so she lets them flow as she turns the key in the ignition and pulls out of the parking lot.
Predictable as Rachel is, she's going to perform some ridiculous song for Finn in glee, and the cheerleader knows she needs to get herself in control before she can sit through that. So she goes to the one place she knows she can pretend, where she won't be turned away, even if she's just using him to make herself feel better.
She plucks the spare key from the planter on the front steps and let's herself in. She takes a few deep breaths to steel her nerves before climbing the stairs and joining him in his room.
His eyes go wide as she closes the door.
"I need you, Puck. Now"
Her skirt is on the floor before he catches on and he pulls his shirt off as he stands from the bed. He stills her hands and pulls her top over her head himself. She can see from the beginning that he thinks he's getting his chance and she doesn't have the strength to correct him. So she pulls his head down and kisses him hard, so unlike the way they've kissed before. There's no gentleness in the way she yanks open the button on his jeans and shoves the zipper down before pushing them to the floor. She walks past him and climbs on the bed, catching his eye over her shoulder as she unclasps her bra.
Puck catches up fast then, and before long he's buried inside her, pushing her to her peak with slow, determined thrusts. He leans in for a kiss and she closes her eyes, arching to whisper moan into his ear.
"Harder...harder Puck..."
He's kissing her neck as he picks up the pace slightly, still not giving her what she needs. She's moving her hips in time with his, still begging for more when the first tear falls from her eye.
"Show me how much you want me, Puck. Please. Harder."
His hips are moving faster, finally giving her a taste of the friction she needs so desperately when the whisper escapes her, she can't stop it.
"Make me forget."
She knows it's not fair, and she prays silently that he didn't hear it. Quinn doesn't want to hurt Puck. She just needs someone to want her the most.
... ... ...
Puck knows she's not there because of him. He's been with enough people, used enough people, to know that she's using him. And he wants to say no, but he can't turn her away.
He's off the bed as soon as he realizes she's serious, trying to show her through his actions what it means to him that she's there. It's the kiss that proves it to him, proves that she's not there for him, she's there because of him. The only him that has ever mattered to her. The same him that drove her into his arms last time. But just like last time, he doesn't have the strength to say no.
He leans in to kiss her, clenching his eyes shut as she turns her face from him. He kisses her neck as she begs for him to fuck her. He can't do it though. He doesn't want to fuck Quinn, he never has. He wants to love her, and she won't give him the chance.
So he rolls his hips against hers slowly, anything to make this last. To make her see how he feels about her. He thinks he can get it through to her, too, until she tells him to show her he wants her. Then he can't hold back. He wants to be gentle with her, swears to himself that someday he will be. But right now he pounds into her.
Puck can feel her tightening around him, hear her moans and he knows that he's the only one who has ever made her feel like this even if the other guy gets all the emotions that Puck usually runs from.
He's almost losing himself in feel, the smell, the experience of Quinn when he hears her choked whisper.
"Make me forget."
He knows he's not supposed to hear, knows that even in her bitchiest form she would never actually admit to using him like this, but he can't finish. Not after that.
He pushes her harder, feels her tightening around him, feels her shallow breaths and the racing of her pulse. He matches her thrust for desperate thrust, but as soon as she comes he pulls out and stalks from the room.
He slams into the bathroom and jerks the hot water of the shower on full blast. Flipping the lock on the door, Puck steps under the hot spray and grabs his washcloth, squeezing a generous amount of body wash onto it. He doesn't know how long he's in the shower, but when he steps out the water is running tepid and his skin is red from the combination of hot water and excessive scrubbing to get her smell, the feel of her hands, off of him.
He's glad she's gone when he walks into his room, pushing the window open to air it out. He pulls on his jeans and a shirt, sinking into his desk chair as he grabs his XBox controller, there's no way he's going to glee now. He can't sit there and watch the only two girls that make him feel make eyes at Finn, not this year. Not again.
Just once he'd like to be somebody's him. He'd like for a girl to want him over everyone else. Just once.
... ... ...
"You are the only exception."
She knows she's singing to Finn. And she means it.
But somewhere, deep inside, she knows she's settling. She knows that, while she loves him, Finn is the safe choice. And she worked so hard to get to where she is.
But it doesn't stop her eyes from straying, from searching for him. He's shorter, but thicker, more solid, his head nearly shaved, and his skin is tanned golden from hours in the sun this summer. (She's often though it ironic that he calls Finn 'the golden boy.')
He's rough around the edges, rude and sarcastic, but he's the only person who has ever really seen her. He sees through her confident exterior and still doesn't turn away from her.
She thinks he may actually be the exception she's been singing of.
But he's not there, and Finn is. Finn, who's watching her, a slight blush on his cheeks and that smile that makes her heart race. Finn, who's so proud to be the one who inspires her. Finn, who wants to make her feel safe in this relationship, wants to show the whole school that she's his girlfriend.
Finn, who wouldn't give up football to make her feel comfortable. (He did.) Finn, who is dumped her once for a date with Brittany and Santana. (He didn't, He didn't even look at them when he was with her.) Finn, who tries to hide her from the rest of the school, even gets a possessive tone with Artie. (He was proud that she was hot, that other people thought so. He treated her like she was a trophy, something that he'd won, and everyone should be jealous of.)
She knows that it's not fair, that she shouldn't compare the two. And she knows that Finn is trying, but she doesn't think it's enough.
He never made her feel like it was a bad thing to want to be wanted, to want to be liked.
And while she's singing, she's not sure if the tears are because Finn is the exception, or because the real only exception isn't there at all. That he isn't there to hear that he made her believe in love again.
She wishes she could make him see in himself the guy that she sees when she looks at him. Not the guy that the girl he wants makes him out to be.
... ... ...
Finn is in love. He knows it's love because his stomach flutters and twists every time he sees her. Sometimes even when he hears her laugh down the hall, or smells her perfume from across the room.
She's so different from the girl he wanted for so long. So different and he doesn't want it any other way.
He can't get enough of her sweet coconut shampoo when her buries his nose in her hair. He loves the taste of her bubble gum pink lip gloss. He can always tell when she's walking by, even without seeing her, because she scuffs the toes of her right flat in a way that is just so...Quinn.
He knows that he loves Rachel, he does. He just knows at the same time that he's (still) completely in love with the cheerleader that broke his...everything.
She broke him and he doesn't love her any less. But he doesn't know how to trust her not to do it again.
So he'll stay with Rachel.. Rachel won't hurt him, won't betray him. He can trust Rachel. Trust that he doesn't have to worry about her and the guy who is still the best friend he's ever had.
He sees the way Puck looks at Quinn, and he knows that he will stay away from Rachel. And he knows Rachel doesn't want anything to do with him, anyway.
So he will stay with Rachel. Because that's safe. Because that's how he can protect himself, and protect Rachel. Because he doesn't want to ever hurt her the way Quinn hurt him.
So he'll be happy the girl he loves and ignore the girl he's in love with. Rachel can heal him, make him believe in love again. And he'll fall in love with her. He will...