9

A/N: It's naughty to just not go ahead and finish Surviving Winter, but I am still choreographing all of the pieces, and this fell together like it belonged. It will be angst-ridden and inspired by love. It is an extension of A Domesticated Guy and Learning Curve, but certainly can be read alone. I would love to know what you think about extending that universe. Sheila

P. S. I realize that slash isn't for everyone. I respect that. I've discovered that I can be a McAbby person and a McGibbs person at the same time. I hope you can give this story a chance.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being McGee

Chapter 1

McGee hit the wall of the bulkhead breathing heavily, sweat pouring down his face, and pulled his phone out. "What do you know, Abs?"

"We were wrong. It's not Allan. I just got back the DNA results. They match a Petty Officer 1st Class named Wallace."

McGee licked the sweat off his lips with his tongue. "Got it!"

He clicked the phone, and turned back to the Seaman with him. "Find out what time Wallace checked in. Now!"

He hit a button on the phone and waited. "Boss! We were wrong. It's not Allan. It's Wallace. Hold on—"

McGee glared at the Seaman who had pulled up the roster on his pad. The kid looked up. "He came aboard 30 minutes ago."

McGee clenched his teeth and cursed. He turned to the phone. "Boss, he's been on board 30 minutes already. He doesn't have the bomb on him; he's already planted it and I know where."

"McGee, you sure you can diffuse it?"

"The schematics we found are clear. I can do this."

"DiNozzo's on his way down."

McGee hung up and turned to the Seaman. "Get me down to the reactor core."

The kid's eyes widened before he turned and ran down the narrow hallways of a nuclear submarine. McGee took off after him.

…

DiNozzo had his weapon pulled as he chased his Seaman down the shaft. He couldn't remember what Wallace looked like. He was just one of the many they had interrogated three days earlier when the bomb plot was uncovered. The submarine was in dry dock, but the amount of casualties and damage a properly placed bomb in the core reactor could wreck the sub plus surrounding naval vessels in dock.

….

Ziva barreled into Wallace's quarters followed by the Chief Security Officer. She did a quick survey of the room but found nothing. She frowned and turned to the CSO. "He came back from leave 30 minutes ago. Where's his gear? He would've stored it here, correct?"

Chief of Security nodded. "He would've stored it by now. Halls are too narrow to carry it around for long."

Ziva tapped her mouth with a finger. "His duffel carried the bomb. His plan was to plant it and get off the sub with everyone else when the alarm sounded."

"Evacuation has started," said the Chief. He got on his comm and started barking orders. "Everyone gets ID'ed before they exit!...I don't care! Wallace is trying to disembark now!"

…

Gibbs stood on the gangway and supervised sailors disembarking. It slowed the evacuation considerably, but like the Chief of Security, Gibbs wasn't going to allow a saboteur and traitor walk off a free man.

He stayed focused on finding Wallace, but his gut was occupied with the fact that all of his agents were still inside the sub, two of them headed toward the bomb itself. There was a commotion at the head of the line, and Gibbs headed toward it. A young dark haired man was trying to leave the vessel without ID.

"Let me go! I left my ID and everything in my bunk!"

"You're not going anywhere!" The security detail was immovable.

Gibbs moved up behind them. "Cuff him. I want to talk to him."

The young man struggled, and then tried to break free and return to the vessel. Everything in Gibbs gut's told him that this was Wallace. He grabbed the cuffed man and slammed him against the wall. "Where is it planted and when is it set to go off?"

The man shook his head vigorously. "It's not me, man. It's not me."

Gibbs grabbed him by the collar with both hands and slammed him against the wall again, hard enough to rattle him but not so hard that he lost consciousness. Then he put his face close to the man and spoke in a low, hard voice. "I know you're Wallace. We've been looking for you. We have a hit on your DNA. You killed Seaman Olson when he got too close, and now you've planted the bomb. Play dumb if you want, but this is your chance not to be executed. If that bomb goes off, people are going to die, and you're going straight to death row. Don't try to snow me, boy. I am older, smarter, and stronger than you are. There is no exit strategy for you."

The man's face reddened and his breathing quickened. Then he whispered, "Take off my watch. The countdown's on my watch."

Gibbs turned the man around and pulled the watch off. He looked at it and grimaced. Grabbing his phone, he yelled, "Bomb goes off in 9 minutes, Tim!"

…

McGee was looking into radiation containment window when he heard Gibbs announcement. The bomb was just sitting on the desk as simple as anything. He remembered that Gibbs was waiting for a response. He whispered, "I got it, Boss."

He turned to the Chief Engineer. "How long before it's safe to go in?"

Chief Engineer McDonald shrugged. "Turned it off like you asked 5 minutes ago. Protocol says you wait another ten and then enter wearing a suit."

McGee looked at the bulky white suit. "Can't maneuver in that. I need to make delicate cuts."

"Yeah, and it'll take 3 minutes to suit you up on top of that."

McGee's heart beat so hard it filled the room. "The radiation poisoning could be fatal."

"No way to know, boy. Never tried anything this dumb."

McGee's mouth was dry. "Open the door."

McDonald nodded. "It takes one-minute to unseal an irradiated chamber. I started the procedure. I sent my staff out. We'll be sealed in. If we do this, then someone's going to need to let us out."

McGee heard footsteps pounding and turned to find DiNozzo running toward him. "What you got, Probie?"

"I found it. It's in the reactor containment room."

Tony's mouth dropped. "Damn!"

McGee winced and rubbed his face. "It's okay, Tony. Chief Engineer shut off containment. It's safe now."

McDonald's head popped up from his control board, and he looked at McGee, blinking.

"I didn't take all those munitions courses like you do, but I got your back, Tim. You know that. We go in together."

"No, Tony, not necessary. I got it. No offense, but your chatter would be distracting to me. Let me do this."

Tony shook his head. "Not letting you go in alone."

"Stop it, Tony! We have 8 minutes, and I don't have time to argue! Let me do this. Chief Engineer is staying with me. He's going to be more help than you are."

"I don't like it," Tony growled.

"7 minutes 50 seconds. Should we spend more time on this? Help evacuate. I can do this in five minutes. Now leave me alone." McGee felt his hands starting to shake.

McDonald nodded. "Listen to your friend. It's only me and him in there, and we don't need an audience. We'll call when we've diffused the thing. Then you need to get my staff down here ASAP. You understand?"

Something odd settled in DiNozzo's gut but there was no time to work it out. He nodded. "I'll round up your crew and we'll be waiting."

McGee nodded. "Yeah do that, Tony."

McDonald beckoned. "Door's open, kid."

McGee waited until Tony disappeared down the corridor. Then he took a deep breath and followed him inside, his heart pounding as the door sealed behind them.

….

Wallace was handcuffed to the gangway when DiNozzo arrived. He was begging to be taken to safety, but Gibbs ignored him. The evacuation had speeded up again now that Wallace was found. Security still ID'ed them, but they were spaced enough so that they barely had to slow down. Tony caught Gibbs' eye. "I left him down there with the Chief Engineer. He insisted. Said I was going to be a distraction. I don't like it."

Gibbs' face didn't move. "He's right, Tony. And don't forget that he's good. He'll diffuse it. Top of every munitions class I sent him to."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Of course, he did. That's quite a little genius you got there, Boss."

A grin tugged at his mouth but he resisted it. "He'll do."

Ziva came bounding out of the corridor. "I think that's everyone."

"The two of you should take cover. Bomb squad's got a compression shelter set up on the dock. We'll go back in 5 minutes."

Tony shook his head. "Not moving. I got the Chief Engineer's crew in there, but I'm waiting here."

Gibbs cocked his head. "We don't do him any good like this. Be smart. I'm team leader. I wait here with Wallace in case McGee needs him for something, but somebody has to stay alive to write the report. Get in to that shelter, both of you."

"Under protest," Ziva said as she grabbed Tony's arm and dragged him down the gangway.

…

The room was hot and stuffy, and sweat dripped off the tip of McGee's nose. He glanced at McDonald again. "I don't really need you here."

McDonald shook his head. "My boat. Besides, it's too late now."

"Radiation sickness is harder on older bodies."

"Shut up, McGee. Concentrate on the damn wires."

McGee licked his lips. "I disarmed the trigger, but now I need to diffuse the charge."

"You know what you doing?"

McGee closed his eyes and breathed. "Yeah, I know what I'm doing. I'm so frickin' competent that I ended up in a radiation chamber of a nuclear submarine diffusing a damn bomb. I'm way too competent. Makes me wonder what would have happened if I'd taken that Kinko's job all those years ago."

McDonald put a hand on his back. "That's what happens when you have to be the smart one. I got one of those complexes too. Chief Engineer always goes down with the sub."

McGee shook his head. "Let's hope it doesn't end up being that desperate."

He counted the wires, remembered the colors, and then closed his eyes, trying to recall exact protocol with this configuration. McDonald seemed to understand his need for quiet, and he stood as still as a statue.

Finally, McGee blinked his green eyes open, and took his wire cutter, snagging the black wire and cutting it in two different places. "Got it!"

"You sure?" McDonald said.

McGee sagged against the counter. "It's over! Get us the hell out of here, Chief!"

McDonald barked orders on the phone. McGee looked at the timer he'd coordinated with Wallace's countdown watch. It said :45 seconds. His breathing came in ragged bursts. He picked up his phone and waited, "Jeth…I mean, Boss. Bomb is diffused."

He could hear Gibbs smile on the other end. "Good work Tim! You okay?"

McGee swallowed and looked around at the sterile room where they were still locked. "It's complicated. You probably better head down here."

…..

The engine room crew came pounding up the gangway past Gibbs, eyes showing alarm rather than relief. All of a sudden, it hit Gibbs where the bomb had to have been placed. His breath left him, and he ran down the corridor, leaving Wallace still chained to the gangway.

…

McGee and McDonald slumped against the door waiting for rescue. McGee looked at him. "I feel fine. What do you think?"

McDonald stared straight ahead. "You'll know how bad it is by the timing. If the nausea and dizziness hits you in less than two hours then you know you're in big trouble."

McGee closed his eyes. "Nausea hits me the minute I even look at a ship of any kind, submarines included. Always have."

"You got a wife and family?"

"No."

"You love somebody?"

McGee thought about the sculptured face with the piercing blue eyes, his clean musky smell, and his weathered skin. He thought about how natural it felt when Gibbs held him in his arms and touched his body. "Yeah, I just recently found somebody. I think it's the real thing."

McDonald smiled at him. "Me, I'm divorced. Wife moved to California and married again. My two kids call him Dad. My fault. All of it. I took every deployment opportunity that came my way. I wanted to be the best."

Fear flooded McGee's gut. "Are we dying, McDonald? Tell me the truth here. Are we dying? Don't baby me, Chief."

"I don't know, son. I just don't know. I've seen guys weather exposure just fine and then be dead in two weeks. I've seen others live for two years and die of cancer, and I've seen a couple guys who live life like nothing ever happened to them. Doctors gotta' do tests. They gotta' see what parts of your body hold together and what parts start disintegrating. I wish I knew what to tell you. All I know is that you're young and you look healthy. It's good place to be when a thing like this happens."

McGee nodded, trying to blink back the tears in his eyes. "What happens next?"

Pounding sounded and then voices yelling. McDonald smiled. "Well, they're going to get in suits and unseal this bitch. Then they're going to haul us into the showers, and we're going to get scrubbed for the next hour or two. I mean, they're going to exfoliate every damn inch of us. Then we get hauled off to the hospital and we wait."

Someone pounded on the glass and McGee looked out the window at Gibbs. He'd never seen panic in the older man and it scared him. McGee rubbed at his eyes and forced a smile on his face. He shouted through the glass. "We did it, Boss."

"You didn't tell me!" Gibbs retorted.

McGee shook his head. "No way around it. We would've wasted time all trying to fall on our swords. I was the only one of qualified. It had to be my call."

Gibbs pounded the glass with his fist. "No! You're mine! I make the calls!"

McGee's eyes got wet again and he said softly. "Not this time, Jethro."

The decontamination team pulled Gibbs out of the way as the door unsealed. White suits waded in, grabbed the two men unceremoniously and pushed them out toward the decontamination room. Gibbs tried to get close, but security pulled him back. He finally stopped struggling and they let him go. He leaned against the wall, his legs shaky and hit a number on his phone. "Hey Duck, can you get down to the shipyard? …I'm at dock 13, on the nuclear submarine, USS Nautilus…No body…Tim, uh, he got exposed to radiation. Looks like it might have been quite a bit…I don't know anything. Can you get down here now?"

DiNozzo and Ziva came running in at that moment, but Gibbs couldn't look at them. He put a hand over his eyes and took a moment to settle his breathing. Tony saw this and ran past him to the containment window and looked in. The room was empty save the remnants of the bomb McGee diffused. Tony whirled around. "Where is he?"

Gibbs blew out. "Decontamination."

"How bad?"

Gibbs shrugged.

Tony glared at Gibbs. "He said that it was safe! He said it was decontaminated! The Chief Engineer said the same thing!"

Gibbs shook his head. "They lied to you, Tony. Wanted to protect you. Didn't tell me what he was up to either."

"He lied to me?" Tony's face was flushed. "He lied to me? Frickin' Probie! It wasn't his decision to make!"

"Tony!" Ziva reached for him, but he pushed her away.

Gibbs leaned against the wall, eyes closed.

"What gave him the right!" Tony was raging at Gibbs.

Gibbs raised his eyes half-mast. "He made a good decision, Tony. He made the right decision, and now we have to find a way to live with it."

Ziva's chin started to tremble. "How bad, Gibbs?"

"No way to know, Ziver. We just have to wait and see."

"I've done that before, you know." She bit her lip, tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Come here." He pulled her in to his chest. "We'll wait together."

Tony stood away from them, alone. "I'm mad at him, Boss."

Gibbs nodded. "Me too."

Tony walked over and leaned against the wall next to Gibbs. "I feel like I'm in To Kill a Mockingbird with Gregory Peck where the daughter asks Atticus Finch, why they shouldn't arrest Boo Radley, and he explains it and she says that arresting Boo is like killing a mockingbird. You know, because mockingbirds don't ever do anyone any harm. The truth is that being mad at McGee for doing right thing is like killing a mockingbird. Right?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "You and your damned movie references, DiNozzo. I can barely make sense of it, but I guess you're right. It's hard to stay mad at him, but honest to God, I would prefer it to being scared as hell right now."

…

TBC