Forsaken Flames II
A World of Warcraft Fan-Fiction
Numb
A Broken Soul
The constant clang of glasses and hum of voices was beginning to die down – not because the tavern was emptying, but because the ale was finally getting to me. It had taken me longer to get drunk than most gnomes, but I was still no dwarf. I blinked lazily, my vision having been blurred for a moment, and then paused my drinking to gaze around the room. The tavern was filled with the usual shady characters; the rogues gathered together for a drink at the corner table near the door while the warlocks sat scattered from table to table, silently studying their spell books. No one sat at the bar, as usual, and all conversations were kept private.
I moved my attention away from the people, not wanting to cause any trouble, and looked up at the grandfather clock at the back of the room. Almost midnight- the time I usually went upstairs to bed in order to avoid the large crowd of students that gathered at the tavern after class downstairs. Young warlocks seemed to enjoy studying together, so the council had decided to build the Dark Arts Academy directly beneath the Slaughtered Lamb. I hated the noise. Unfortunately, the embrace of my new identity struck fear in the hearts of all the other renters in town, so I was forced to settle for a room in the tavern above the Academy.
I sneered at the thought of my new identity and dropped my gaze to stare at the frosty reflection of myself in my mug. The gnome that stared back at me looked absolutely frightening. I had changed my look quite drastically since the incident a year ago, choosing dark colors and disturbing designs. The robes I wore were a deep purple, almost black, with stitching and decorations done with thread of a blue fiery color. My helmet, which hid all but my mouth, was a real demon's skull that I had painted to match my robes. It was thick and strong, enchanted so that two small orange fires blazed forth from the eye sockets. I sighed, disgusted with what I had become, and then returned to numbing my pain.
As I took another sip of ale, the door to the tavern swung open and a draenei woman stepped inside. She wore white robes with decorations of light violet and carried a purple staff. Her robes had a high collar, which was glowing softly with a white light. I chuckled to myself, immediately identifying the woman as a priest. The draenei looked around the room a bit and then took a seat at one of the empty tables. After a short silence that seemed to spread through the tavern like fire, one of the rogues seated at a table near her got up and walked over. "Your kind is not welcome here." The human looked down at her with anger in his eyes.
She ignored him, pulling her backpack up onto the table and digging through it.
"Leave now." The man had placed a hand on the table.
"I'm quite comfortable where I am now, thank you." She continued to look through her things.
Furious with her reply, the man shoved all her belongings over onto the floor with one angry thrust of his other arm. "Now!"
The woman simply looked up at him with disgust and rage in her eyes. He froze, somehow terrified by her gaze, and then suddenly began screaming in pain, clutching at his skull. The draenei stood, shadow energies gathering around her, and closed her eyes. The rogue stopped screaming and dropped to the floor, now unconscious.
She shifted her gaze, glaring around at anyone else who looked as though they had wished to challenge her. When her eyes passed by to me, she paused. Confusion showed clearly on her face, her eyebrows pulling together in a wrinkled line as her eyes filled with the appearance of deep thought. She began to make her way over to my table with her things gathered in her arms. "Do you mind if I have a chat with you?" Her voice had grown soft and inviting – almost familiar.
I was stunned by her sudden change in personality and it took me a moment to respond. "I'd prefer to be alone, but I have a feeling you only asked permission to be polite."
The woman nodded, setting her things down and taking the seat across from me. I continued drinking my ale, determined to ignore her unless I was addressed, but her stare was unnerving. "What?"
"I feel as though I know you, yet I can't quite recall how. Perhaps if I saw your face...?" She motioned toward my helmet.
"No." I was blunt and clear. "The helmet stays."
"But, why?" Her expression was now soft and caring; worry lines appeared on her forehead. "Did you have an accident or something?"
"The helmet stays." I tried to keep my voice steady and strong, but thoughts of the incident made it waver and crack.
Images of Shina's lifeless body returned, despite my desperate attempts to fight them off. I was once again forced to stare into those empty eyes, hoping for even a small flicker of life to return. A tear ran down my cheek, dripping on the table top, and I dropped my head in mourning. The woman leaned forward, speaking so softly that it was almost a whisper. "So the Shadow Lord has a heart after all?"
My head snapped up and I locked gazes with her, startled by her statement. She knew who I was– who I had become – and she wanted to find out who was behind the helmet. "Who are you?"
She smiled, a beautiful smile, and brushed some of her long white hair out of her face. "Keyonne, Shadow Priestess." Holding out a hand for me to shake, she continued. "It was nice to meet you, warlock. Perhaps next time we can chat in a friendlier environment?"
I ignored the hand, but was polite enough to respond. "Perhaps."
"Well, I'm off to bed." She rose from her seat, gathered up her things, and headed toward the door.
As I listened to the sound of her hooves against the wooden floor, I thought to myself. That pale draenei woman reminded me of someone. Her inviting smile and gentle voice played through my mind a few times as I pondered. However, my efforts were wasted due to the ale hindering my thinking process and I abandoned the endeavor. Though, I still couldn't put her out of my mind.
She intrigued me.
The next morning began like any other. I awoke with a slight hangover – the result of my nightly drinking habit – and it was already approaching noontime. Rolling over to look out the window of my room, I yawned and cursed the sun for being so bright. Slowly, I sat up and edged to the side of my bed. Kana, the massive albino lion that was once Shina's Closest companion, was resting on the floor where he always did, but he was already awake and waiting on me. When he saw that I was up, the lifted his head to meet my gaze. His deep blue eyes held such untold knowledge and wisdom that would never again be shared with the world of men. "If only I could read your mind..." I gave his ear a scratch as I spoke.
He stood, walking over to the closet as if to tell me to hurry. I sighed, dropped down to the floor, and made my way over to him. "Alright, I get it. No sulking today."
I opened the closet, grunting at the cluttered mess I had allowed to gather there. It was filled with my robes, helmet, staff, and various trophies I had claimed during my adventures. "I really should get rid of this junk." I spoke to myself as I reached up for a robe.
As always, I had to jump to reach it, and gave a triumphant chuckle once I'd managed to yank it down off the hanger. I dressed myself and then tied a black sash around my waist. I then walked over to the mirror that was hung on the back of the door, with helmet in hand, to ensure that everything was in order.
The robes were an exact duplicate of the ones I had worn the previous day and were as neat and orderly as possible. However, I decided to take a moment to stare at my reflection, studying what little was left of the man I once was. My hair was still pink, though the color was now faded and my blond roots had begun to show. I had cut it short, no longer concerned with spiking it now that I wore a helmet. Overall, my appearance was ragged and worn, wrought with worry and depression. The only thing that had not dulled during the past sad and lonely year was the brilliant blue color of my eyes. All that remained of the outgoing, worry-free gnome so deeply in love with that violet beauty was reflected in the baby blue shimmer that stared back at me.
Tears slowly gathered in my eyes as I thought back to those happy days. I let them flow, having been too full of anger and resentment to cry before. "Why did you have to leave me, Shina?"
I wiped my eyes, gazing at myself one last time before slipping my helmet on. The demonic eyes stared back at me from the skull and my tears turned into rage. I smashed the mirror with my fist, shouting at myself as the glass fragments fell to the floor. "Weak bastard!"
Kana had shrunk back toward the bed, obviously scared by my unexpected and unusual burst of anger. In the past, I had always taken my anger out on my enemies on the battlefield, never on myself. "It's alright, boy. I'm not angry at you." I made my way over to the bed to scratch the lion's ears and gather my things.
I slung my leather backpack over my shoulders, snatched up my staff, and made my way toward the door. "Come on, Kana. We have errands to run."
As I descended the stairs toward the main part of the tavern I realized that everyone was watching me. It struck me as quite odd – the fear of the Shadow Lord usually discouraged people from staring. I scowled, grunting and then demanding an explanation. "What?"
"Package for you." It was the tavern keeper who had spoken. "That draenei stopped by this morning to give it to you."
I made my way over to the bar where he stood, pointing at a small package that sat on the counter. "This?"
He simply nodded in reply as I reached for it. It was a simple package, wrapped in plain brown paper and tired shut with twine. A note was tucked neatly under the knot in the twine. I read it before opening the package.
No amount of ale will ever ease the pain. Try this instead.
-Keyonne, Shadow Priestess
I frowned, realizing that I had shared more with this woman than I had wanted to. Sighing, I began to open the package, tossing the paper onto the counter. The object inside was a handkerchief, dyed a dark purple that matched my robes. A skull and crossbones was embroidered into the cloth at one of its corners with thread the color of blue fire. I paused for a moment to admire the workmanship, as the quality of the creation was that of a master tailor. I then smirked, slipping the treasure into my chest pocket as I headed out the tavern door.
As I stepped out onto the path, I noticed that the park was nearly empty. I looked around for a moment and then heard yelling coming from the trade district. I turned to Kana, who was still following me, and spoke. "We'd better go see what's going on. If we're lucky, it'll be a Horde attack."
I smirked and then snapped my fingers. A pillar of fire instantly blazed up from the ground beside me, slowly taking the form of a horse. However, what was left behind as the flames died down was no horse, but a nightmare. The steed was black as night with ridges and spikes along its back. His eyes were a demonic red, his mane and tail were dancing flames, and his hooves caused the very color of the grass to fade.
I gave a pat to the nightmare's side and he kneeled for me to get on. Signaling to Kana, I stuck one foot in the stirrup and swung myself over the steed's back. Kana hopped up onto the back of the saddle and I urged the beast forward.
As I approached the trade center, I heard someone shouting in a familiar voice and I hurried my pace. The bank's front steps soon came into view as I turned the corner from the canal's tunnels and I discovered the source of the commotion. That draenei from the previous night had been stopped by two guards. "If you do not cooperate, we will have no choice but to use force!"
"I did nothing wrong!" The priest had her fists clenched at her sides, ready to defend herself. "Why are you arresting me?"
"Assault and attempted murder." One of the guards was reaching for his sword.
"What?" She seemed completely lost and confused. "Wait... That rogue from the bar pressed charges, didn't he?" Her expression changed to anger. "I acted purely in self-defense!"
"We have several witnesses who have identified you as an unprovoked attacker." One of the guards reached for her wrists, ready to shackle them.
Something twinged inside me as I watched all of this and I realized that her imprisonment bothered me. For some reason, I cared about what would happen to her. I spoke up quickly, making my way through the crowd. "What witnesses? The rogue's friends down at the pub?" I had reached the front of the crowd as I finished my sentence. "You missed a witness, by the way. I was with her last night."
The guard holding her shackles regarded me with disgust, returning his gaze to the draenei after a chuckle. "You keep very poor company."
"Poor company? I may have a reputation for violence, but you know I never lie." The fires of my helmet's eyes blazed forth, flickered, and then returned to normal.
The second guard spoke up. "Yes, sir." He turned to the other guard. "Let her go." A fear-filled whisper to him followed his command.
A smile crept onto the woman's lips as her shackles were removed and the guards hurried off toward the keep. She turned to me, but waited until the crowd had dispersed a bit before speaking. "Thank you, friend."
"I am not your friend." I turned my steed to leave and continued. "I simply do not wish to see innocent people thrown in prison."
She smirked. "Alright, whatever you say." Walking over to block my exit, she spoke once again. "At least let me buy you lunch or something."
Her offer caught me off guard, chipping away another bit off the stone case that shielded my heart. Why was this woman being so kind to me? Why would someone so seemingly pure associate herself with the Shadow Lord? I had faltered, allowing my stern expression to soften with my thoughts. After realizing this, I corrected it and gave my answer. "Fine, but only because I'm low on coin." The reasoning I provided was not to convince her, but rather to convince myself.
I cursed myself for my decision as I walked along-side her, following the draenei to where we would dine. The townspeople and visiting adventurers were beginning to stare at us, no doubt spreading rumors that I'd gone soft. A small child pointed and giggled, tugging on her mother's sleeve. I grunted, flaring up the fires that blazed from my helmet. "What are you looking at?"
The child shrank back and her mother led her away. "You're so mean to everyone, yet you secretly do good deeds." The draenei had stopped to look back at me. "You'd have more friends if you showed them the kindness in your heart that you try so hard to hide."
"I don't need friends." I thought for a moment and then spoke once more. "And I'm the Shadow Lord; there is no kindness in my heart!"
She giggled and then began walking again. "Had to think about that one for a moment, did you?" A grin spread itself across her face. "A little unsure about yourself?"
"If you value your life, you will not tread into such deep waters." My voice was now cold and emotionless.
Her smile faded and our journey was completed in silence. The building she led us to was in Old Town, a section of the city usually filled with priests and paladins dedicated to the Light and the general well being of Azeroth's citizens – exactly the sort of company I liked to avoid. The very last thing I needed was some self-appointed know-it-all preaching to me about the Light, blathering on about the nonsense theory that people are naturally good. Even the thought of it disgusted me.
"I eat here every day." The draenei interrupted my thoughts. "The setting might be a little uncomfortable for you, but the food is delicious!"
She smiled and turned her attention to me. I found myself staring as the sun reflected on the delicate beauty of her face, almost making her look angelic. Her expression changed, the smile faded, and she appeared to be worried. "What's wrong? Why are you staring at me like that?"
Embarrassed, I moved my gaze to look at the door, thankful that she couldn't see my expression beneath the helmet. "Nothing, just confused I suppose."
"Confused? About what?" She had opened the door and walked inside after speaking.
I followed her, unsure as to whether or not I should, but driven forward by a growling that had begun in my stomach. "Why would someone of your life choice be welcome here?"
The woman led me to a table near the back of the building and sat down. "Well... that's a long story."
"We have time, don't we?" I was determined to keep the conversation focused on her.
"I suppose, but after we order." The draenei seemed nervous and had begun to fiddle with a fork.
The waitress wasted no time in coming to take our orders.
"The usual please." The priest smiled at her and then looked expectantly at me.
"Roasted Clefthoof and an ale." I wasn't positive that they served Clefthoof, but the waitress had no qualms with my order – she hastily scribbled it onto her notepad and headed back to the kitchen.
"She seems nice." I included quite a bit of sarcasm in my tone.
"You scare her." The draenei was now playing with the edges of a napkin.
Silence fell between us and I took the opportunity to study her for a moment. She had her hair pulled back that day, allowing only her bangs to dangle across her forehead. Her eyes were nothing more than two small blue fires, lightly tinting the skin around them. She wore black lipstick, which contrasted largely with her porcelain skin and ivory hair. Her complexion was almost ghostly in the dim lighting of the restaurant, adding a somber tone to her appearance. She appeared to me as a broken soul and I found myself feeling sorry for her.
"My father doesn't know." She looked up from the napkin she had been toying with. "He thinks I'm studying as a discipline priest."
"You control shadow powers as well as deceive the people that love you..." I smirked and leaned back in my chair. "I'm liking you more every minute."
"I know, its horrible, but I had a completely different personality after the accident." She was looking down at the table again.
I lifted a brow. "Accident?"
"When the Exodar crashed, I was among the casualties..." The woman raised a hand to rub the back of her neck. "But I came back five minutes later."
"Came back?" I paused, caught in complete disbelief. "You came back to life on your own?"
"Yes, and my injuries were all gone." She frowned. "Though, I lost my memory in the process."
I laughed. I couldn't help it; her story was entirely absurd. "You came back to life on your own with no injuries and no memory?"
She nodded slowly, an expression of regret and sadness now resting on her face. "I didn't even know who I was."
I frowned – I had hurt her feelings by laughing at her story. Even worse – I cared. "I care?"
I hadn't meant to say that out loud, but I was too upset to notice. "Why the hell do I care?"
She looked at me, confused, as I stood up to leave. "Keyonne, yes?"
A nod was her reply to my question.
"Well, Keyonne, I must excuse myself." I hesitated for a moment before reaching into my pocket and producing two gold coins. "Here."
I slapped the money onto the table and hurried out the door.
Kana had been waiting outside for me, the good lion that he was, and began to follow me again as I left the restaurant. I was still hungry, so I decided to return to the Slaughtered Lamb for lunch. Usually, I only ate dinner there, but today was a special occasion – my heart was hurting and I needed the comfort only ale could bring.
I snapped my fingers, once again summoning forth my nightmare with a pillar of fire. Kana wasted no time in climbing aboard, no doubt sensing my hasty demeanor, and I quickly climbed into the saddle. The beast trotted forward after a kick in the side and I led him through the canals rather than through the trade district. "Well, Kana, it seems we have a problem." I spoke to the albino as we entered the park.
"That woman is tearing open old wounds." The nightmare kneeled down for me to dismount as we reached the front steps of the Slaughtered Lamb.
"She seems familiar, Kana..." The massive lion jumped down, never breaking the gaze he had on me. "And she's causing my heart to ache."
Kana etched a crude picture of a shield in the dirt with his claws. "A shield... Protect? Are you saying I should stay strong?"
He shook his head furiously, obviously displeased with my conclusion, and walked to the pub's door. I let him inside and he darted for the stairs. I followed as he led me to my own room and once again opened the door for him. The lion immediately went to work, searching through the cluttered mess on my dresser. Eventually he found what he was looking for and brought it to me immediately. I took it from his mouth and wiped the drool off onto my robes.
It was a framed photograph. The two people in the picture were myself and my best friend, Daedren. I hadn't spoken to the warrior in over six months; my drinking habit had driven him away. "You think I should talk to Daedren?"
Kana nodded, letting out a quiet roar as he made his way to a trash pile beside the bed. He batted at an empty ale mug, growling in disapproval. "No more ale?"
The lion sat in front of me, his chest puffed out in determination. He was tired of my attitude. "Fine, I'll talk to Daedren."
He tilted his head, expecting more. "And I'll try not to drink so much." I sighed as I finished my promise.
Apparently satisfied, Kana curled up on the rug and closed his eyes. "You're going to trust me downstairs alone?"
His only response was a flick of his tail. I turned to leave, but stopped, wondering what to do with the photo. Looking around the room, I decided to hang it on the wall next to my bed and placed it on top of the chest at the bed's foot for the time being. "I'll be downstairs if you need me. Just give a roar."
Another flick of his tail signaled to me that he heard and understood. My stomach growled and I headed toward the door. "Lunch time."
I sat at the bar on the end closest to the stairs, waiting for the barkeep to return. He poked his head out of the curtain that separated the kitchen from the rest of the pub shortly after I sat down. "Well, what's this? You're usually only here for dinner."
"Yeah, special circumstances." I smirked, trying to make it seem as if I had just pulled off a job and was creating an alibi.
"The usual, then?" He smiled back a bit nervously.
"No..." I looked around the room to see how full the pub was. There was only one other person, a warlock, seated at the back of the room. "Get me some boar ribs and water."
He stared at me for a moment, dumbfounded. "No ale?"
I shook my head. "No ale."
I decided to take my time eating lunch, wishing my water were a rich ale with every sip. Once I'd finished, I pushed my plate aside and hopped down off the bar chair. My destination was my room, where Kana was waiting patiently for me to return. He lifted his head to look at me the moment I stepped inside. "Hey, boy."
The lion stood, slowly making his way toward me. He seemed suspicious, studying me with a keen eye. "Relax, Kana; I didn't have any ale."
He sniffed my robes and then sat down beside me, apparently satisfied. "I never got my errands done. We'd better hurry if we're going to get everything done before the shops close."
With Kana at my side, I headed out the door into the park. My first stop was the enchanter's shop, which was close by in the Mage Quarter. I dreaded going in there due to the friendship I once had with the shop's owner, but I desperately needed supplies. A bell rang when I opened the door – something new that was added since the last time I'd visited. The voice of an older man echoed through the shop, coming from the back room. "One moment!"
When he finally emerged from the curtain that separated the main room from the stock, hee frowned. "I hope you're not drunk this time."
"Haven't had a drop of ale all day." I looked my old friend strait in the eyes, and wished I hadn't burned the bridge between us.
He sighed, dropping his broad shoulders as if they carried an immense burden. "Why do I not believe that?" A sigh escaped his lips as he looked down at me with hollow eyes.
"Believe it or not, its the truth." I smirked, reaching over to scratch Kana's ear. "He won't let me have any."
My gaze returned to the shopkeeper, and I noticed just how terrible he looked. Dark circles ringed around his eyes, deep creases were permanently formed on his forehead and around his mouth, and his once shimmering black hair was now speckled with white and gray. "You look terrible, what happened?"
He seemed surprised, looking at me as if he didn't understand what I had asked. "My wife passed away last month, or don't you remember?"
"No, I don't." I felt horrible. How could I have forgotten something so important? Was I so heartless that I hadn't even offered a few words of comfort to another broken soul? I knew the answer the moment I'd formed the question. Yes – I was a cold and careless man so absorbed in my own sorrow that I'd alienated all of Azeroth. I believed myself to truly be that man, down to my very soul, but what I said next surprised us both.
"I'm sorry to hear that..." The words felt odd in my mouth.
"You care?" He chuckled, unbelieving. "All of a sudden, you care about something other than your own selfish, asshole self?"
"I can go if you'd rather be alone." I motioned toward the door as I spoke. "I just stopped by to pick up some scrolls and materials."
"How many?" He looked like he was in horrible pain and was glad for the subject change.
"Ten scrolls, twenty pouches of infinite dust, and ten globes of eternal essences." I tried to look at the wall instead of his face.
The items I had asked for were produced, bagged, and placed on the counter in front of me within moments. "Three-hundred and fifty gold."
"Prices came down." I pulled a pouch of coins out of the inside pocket of my robes. I placed it on the counter, gathered the bag of items, and turned to leave. "Keep the change."
The next step was the auction house, which was the very reason for my stop at the enchanter's shop. I liked to keep my pockets filled with gold, but I was now down to my last thousand – a predicament I intended to rectify soon. The materials I'd purchased were for creating some enchanting scrolls to sell and re-fill my coin pouches. Usually, I'd craft the scrolls in private – I figured people wouldn't buy them if they knew who had made them – but I really didn't care at the moment.
I recited my enchants quietly to myself, capturing the colorful energies produced by each cantrip within the inscribed parchments. The first few I crafted were designed to boost one's intellect, them I moved on to spell power scrolls, attack power enchants, and finally agility boosts. I rolled each scroll up as I finished it, binding them with a tamper-proof seal. Tagging each one with a bid and buyout price, I handed them to an auctioneer, gave him my title, and left the over-crowded auction house.
My errands were done and the sun was just beginning to set. However, there wasn't anything else for me to do. I had promised Kana I wouldn't drink, so my entire night was now free. To be honest, I did contemplate going back on my word, but Kana was the only friend I had that was on speaking terms – even though he couldn't talk. So, I decided to go for a walk.
The idea seemed like a good one at first, but I received far too much attention for my liking. It was unusual for me to be out at night unless I was hunting or out on an assignment, so everyone that saw me was instantly struck with worry and fear. Wanting to be out of the watchful eyes of the townsfolk, I made my way to the front gates, planning to sit on the bridge and enjoy the lake. However, to my surprise and utter displeasure, I spotted a familiar face doing the exact same thing as I waked toward the city's main gates.
There she was – the cause of all my recent pain and extra time. She was sitting on the edge of the bridge to my right with her legs dangling over the side, slumped over toward the water.
Of course she'd be here, why wouldn't she? Why should I be allowed to have even a moment's peace?
I stopped walking, trying to decide if I should continue with my plan or think of something else to do, but she started to move. She looked up and turner her gaze toward me, almost as if she knew I was standing here. Her eyes were red and irritated, her face wet with tears, and her shoulders were drooped with defeat.
I froze when I saw her face and that sense of caring washed over me again – but I didn't fight it this time; my anger and hatred was melting.
What was wrong with me? Just a week ago, all that could bring me any emotion at all was the slaughter of my enemies, their final screams quenching my thirst for blood. Yet, here I was – hopelessly worried over a draenei woman I'd just met the day before. I couldn't make any sense out of it, though I felt compelled to continue. "What's wrong, Keyonne?" I actually sounded concerned, which surprised me.
It seemed to catch her off guard as well. "You already know."
I sat down beside her, letting my legs dangle over the side of the bridge. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that."
She stared at me in awe.
"What? I can't feel remorse for making a pretty girl cry?" I looked down at the water; something about her face bothered me.
"You didn't seem too concerned about that little girl you scared half to death this morning." She said this as an absolute fact, and the realization of that forced me to look back up at her face.
She had given up on me; there was no concern in her voice, no curiosity in her eyes. I was no longer the broken mysterious man she thought was somehow familiar. She now saw me as the cold, uncaring, bloodthirsty warlock the world knew as the Shadow Lord.
My mouth involuntarily dropped into a genuine frown as I came to this conclusion; I had managed to destroy another friendship. I was nearly sober now, the pains of the past tearing holes in my chest, and the last thing I wanted was to be alone again. Daedren would forgive me – I was sure of that – but something about this strange priest pressured me into the truth.
I wanted to keep her around.
"I act out of pain." My gaze moved quickly from her face as I spoke, and I gazed out over the lake.
"Pain drives us all." She looked down at the water, focused. "If not pain we have already endured, then pain of the future that we fear." A heavy sigh escaped from her lips as she gazed up at the sky. "How we endure the pain is what makes us who we are."
"Sometimes, the pain is from losing a part of yourself." My voice began to shake as I finished, despite my attempts to steady it. "Who you are is lost forever."
"What was her name?" She looked down again, kicking her feet gently in the water.
I dropped my head, shaking it slowly as I bit my lip to keep a cry of pain from escaping.
The stirring of the water gradually ceased as she haulted her kicking, and her tone was soft and comforting. "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that."
"Thank you." Was all I could manage.
We sat in silence for a while, watching as the sun slowly made its way toward the horizon. I relaxed a little, simply enjoying the gentle breeze. Keyonne was fairly easy to get along with, as I then learned; she didn't seem tense about the prolonged silence and I felt at ease knowing she wasn't expecting anything more from me than what I was willing to give. However, as the sun grew closer and closer to disappearing over the horizon, I sensed that this peaceful moment was coming to an end. "Thanks for the handkerchief." I didn't have anything else to talk about, and I wanted to hear her voice again before we parted ways. "It's very good workmanship."
"Thank you." She smiled and looked over at me. "I pulled an all-nighter to dye the cloth."
"Oh..." I suddenly realized why her expression earlier had bothered me – she was exhausted. "I'm sorry, I'm keeping you up..."
"It's alright," Her smile beamed as she turned her gaze toward the sky. "I'm sure the Light will bless me with a restful sleep tonight."
The draenei looked back at me and her smile released memories I had locked away almost a year ago.
I froze.
Her sweet smile, gentle eyes, soft voice, and light summer scent – it all suddenly hit me at once. She seemed so familiar, so interesting to me, for a reason. The discovery of my subconscious thoughts knocked the wind out of me and brought on an overwhelming flood of pain and despair.
She reminded me of Shina.
That's why I cared – why I clung to her presence. Memories of my lost love flashed violently through my mind, each one matching itself to a smile, laugh, movement, or tone Keyonne had used. Her personality, expressions, and speech matched exactly. Only then, when I was sober, did I realize this.
I began to feel sick, the pain and despair bubbling up past my resolve.
"Are you alright?" Worry was now clear on her face, the wrinkles on her forehead showing strongly.
"Shina..." I hung my head, covering the eyes of my helmet in an attempt to force the images to stop.
She looked at me as if I had called her name. "Shina?"
I quickly stood up, somehow still holding back the torrent of pain and tears fighting to be free. "I have to go." I turned to leave as I spoke, but paused for a moment. "I'm sorry."
Then, I ran. I hurried up the bridge toward the city, fighting to stay the Shadow Lord just long enough to make it back to my room before the broken man inside me sprung free. Thankfully, the trade center was nearly empty and I was able to maneuver through the streets with ease. I ran through the canals, flung open the door to the tavern, hurried up the stairs to my room, and locked the door behind me.
Kana jumped up as I entered and stared at me strangely. I walked past him, pulling off my helmet and letting it drop to the floor. Tears had already begun welling up in my eyes and my breath was growing uneven. My resolve broke and I allowed myself to fall onto the bed, crushed with grief. The albino sat at the bed's foot, whining quietly as I went to pieces.