Hi guys its me hakai666 this is my first fanfic. Its basically a comedy with some other genre elements but mainly comedy. I am writing this with help from my friend Nox733. No flames but I am open to criticism. Don't be offended by anything we say cuz we are just kidding around. So let's get this chapter going.
I dont own Bleach if i did I would be gassed. The only thing I own is my original ideas(OC's, Zanpakuto, etc...)
Chapter 1
It's just another day in the soul society. Nothing strange has been going on It's just the usual killing of hollows. There is a weekly meeting of the Gotei 13. "Are their any other announcements before this meting is adjourned?" asked a bald old man with a long white mustache and beard and wooden walking stick (think master roshi's walking stick) that's his zanpakuto sealed state.
Despite looking like a feeble old man he is not to be underestimated. He is the head captain, Captain Yamamoto. "I have some news for everyone", a 6'7" tall man with an eye patch and a scar that runs over his visible eye. He has scars visible on his slightly revealed chest. He has hair that spikes in every direction and crazy look about him. His name is Kenpachi Zaraki the captain of squad 11 which is strictly an attack squad or demolition squad. Everyone's head snapped to look at him with wide eyes. Kenpachi never says anything at meetings. "What must it be that he feels he has to announce", was what was on everyone's mind. "Yes, what is it Kenpachi?" asked Yamamoto. "What I'm going to say is of the utmost importance and may scare you" he starts to say while folding his hands. "I"… he stops and scans the room with his visible eye. "I'm gonna be a DADDY! He yells while raising his fist. Everyone sweat drops.
"Wait who on earth is the mother" asked toshiro Hitsugaya the short, 13 year old looking, light blue haired captain prodigy of squad 10. "Oh you know her", he says with a maniacal grin. "Stand up sweetness" Kenpachi calls out. "Don't call me that", snaps Rangiku matsumoto as the 5'8 orange haired extremely busty women stands up hitsugaya's jaw drops. "Rangiku you and him" states a shocked toshiro as he passes out. Everyone else's jaws are hanging open. "It's complicated"' she says while laughing nervously and rubbing the back of her head.
"Oh my god" captain Yamamoto gasps. "There is gonna be 2 kenpachi's". "Activate emergency survival code 006-683c-7zyxq-839-7 we can't a ford a major, ishap" yells the old captain. Yamamoto then run to the wall slides opens a panel and inputs a 6 digit code resulting in a loud alarm and flashing lights going off everywhere in the soul society. Within two seconds all hell breaks loose. People were running and screaming, chanting of the apocalypse and jumping out of windows no matter how high up. Kenpachi and Rangiku suddenly find them self's alone in a utterly destroyed meeting room. "Where did everybody go? Is it something I said? Well I guess I'll see you guys latter", Kenpachi said with a dumbfounded expression. "You're an idiot", Rangiku replied as she face palmed herself. "But you're my idiot". "Does this mean you will love me long time?" Kenpachi questioned early. "yes" she replied. "Then lets go!" he said as he grabbed her arm and dragged her off. "Try not to tear anything this time cuz I'm still sore from last time" she yelled a he dragged her home.
*9 Months latter *
"AAAAGGHHH!" The feminine screams came from the hospital. "Kenpachi stop screaming like that so we can do our job" said Unohanna Reitsu captain of squad 4 which is the clean up and medical squad. "Ok ok I'm calm I just need to AAAAHHH!" Kenpachi answered just before he fainted. "Just leave him there we have to deliver this baby". All the medics were running around doing all necessary tasks for the delivery that they have done many times through out there careers, "Alright Rangiku control your breathing. Take even breaths, relax and start pushing it out", instructed Unohanna. Kenpachi comes to only to faint at the sight of his wife pushing out their kid. "Congrats Rangiku it's a boy" said Unohanna with a smile as Rangiku gave the last push with a pained groan; She put the baby into Rangiku's arms. "AWW! You're so cute and I have the perfect name for you. You will be Hakai Zaraki" she said. Soon fell asleep with the child in her arms.
Unknown to one of them on the roof across the street was a figure in all black watching with binoculars on the roof. "Things are going to start getting interesting." He says with a big grin. "Finally I have been bored for too long" he then jumps off the roof and vanishes.
That wraps up this chapter. Sorry it was short but I will try to make the next one longer. Please review so I can see if I should keep this fan fiction going. Tell me and my friend what you think. If you do you can live. Btw there will be a time skip next chapter. Until next update Bye :) .