Title: Worried 1/1

Author: AutumnRain

Email: autumnrain4@yahoo.com

Category: short ff- H/M

Rating: G

Warning: none

Summary: none

Disclaimer: the characters don't belong to me they belong to DB and

others. Just borrowing them.

Feedback: please, any kind, good or bad, let me have it :)

Archive: you can find this story and others I have written at:

http://Stories.Com/authors/autumnrain



USS Seahawk

0330

It is 0330 and I find myself outside Harm's cabin. Already berating myself for being about to wake him up after the mission he flew, but knowing I have to tell him what is on my mind and I have to do it now. Too many times like these I have left words go unsaid or said the opposite of how I felt.

I knock once, and before I can rap a second time, it flies open.

"Mac? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I am fine" I say as I step in his cabin and shut the hatch. "Perhaps I should be asking you the same thing. I kind of figured you would be asleep...."

I trail off, and he doesn't say anything, we are standing, just looking at each other. I know what I want to say, I just can't figure out how to start it and my throat is constricted as I fight the urge to cry. Once again I could have lost my best friend to a Tomcat. A million things could have gone wrong and he wouldn't have been able to get that damaged aircraft back to the carrier.

Our earlier conversation- the one where he asks if I was worried and my flip reply 'No, of course not' keeps running through my mind. It would not let me sleep, it was what made me take the chance of waking him up.

My courage is fading fast, my throat is getting tighter and my pride is rearing its ugly head- I will not let him see me in tears over him, although right now all I want is to have his arms wrapped around me, holding me while I shed nervous tears for all the what ifs that had been running through my mind as I stood on the bridge listening to the transmissions during his flight. He must see the turmoil in my eyes because he reaches out for me.

"Mac, what is it?" he whispers, his eyes boring into me, wanting to fix whatever is wrong.

Usually that look brings me comfort, but lately when I have been on its receiving end it hurts more that it heals. It maybe foolish or even selfish, but I want him to look at me that way of out of more than friendship. Deep down I know he feels more than just friendship for me, but there is just enough doubt created by some of his actions and words, I would just like a simple confirmation of his feelings for me instead of a 'not yet' or a very confusing 'you will always have someone who loves you'.

I take a step back towards the hatch, feeling for the handle behind me. As I grab it, I gather what is left of my courage and meet his gaze, not letting myself dwell on what I see in his eyes, before my tears let go and I lose the ability to form words instead of just sobs, I say "I was very worried Harm, petrified might be the correct term. I prayed harder than the night you... the night" I couldn't bring myself to say the word 'crashed', "you were coming back from your quals".

I had lost the battle with my tear ducts and the minute I felt one slide down my face, I turned and ran out of his cabin.