Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Kung Fu Panda (c) to DreamWorks and whoever-else-made-it
Author's Note: Inspired by the song of the same name by Phil Collins (not the actual lyrics though, more the tune)
Summary: Po is not a killer, that is just not the way it could be. Tai Lung is still alive, and in the Valley of Peace! But he does not seek revenge. Does he suffer amnesia? No. Is he seeking redemption? No, it is simply not possible, no would even consider forgiving him no matter how much he tried. Is he sorry? Yes he is, but what can he do about it? Life must carry on and Tai Lung does not wish to leave, he's still there, somewhere, but will anyone recognise him?
Chapter 1
And Afterwards...
He knew there was a look of fear in his eyes, he knew he had never felt more humiliated but this thought was mercifully wiped out of existence by his panic. When facing death most will not think twice, too scared to try anything but save themselves, but Tai Lung knew he was trapped and was unable to do this, he was prevented from taking to the two most relied upon actions of old that guaranteed safety, fight or flight, neither option was available for him.
He felt nauseous and confused, he was tired and weak. He had felt unwell ever since he had left the prison but it was only now that it was taking effect. He sputtered fearful gibberish at the panda, whom he should have been able to crush like an insect, his own words to him were meaningless, just an attempt to comfort himself and blot out the rest of reality, a technique that was failing miserably. The world was still very much real. Just a little ray of hope perhaps…?
"Nope, I figured it out."
The little finger went down, but there was no immediate reaction in Tai Lung's adrenaline slowed world, and for a moment he thought that maybe just maybe the Panda had been bluffing. But then his vision blurred and he realized without shock that his body was numb. Tai Lung's eyes rolled back and he collapsed, but it was not from the Wuxi Finger Hold but the fatigue and weakness finally taking their toll. Tai Lung had been unable to move for twenty years and since his escape he hadn't slept once, hadn't stopped once, and as much as he would have disliked to believe it, Tai Lung was just as mortal as everyone else.
Twenty one years before...
Shifu had gone out again, nothing special about that, the Kung Fu Master would often leave the Jade Palace during the daylight hours, normally to meditate. And he was back now, nothing special about that either, except he was not alone.
Fifteen year old Tai Lung had just finished his day's training and was eager to see his father, for a few minutes he had waited in the Training Hall but to his annoyance his father hadn't turned up to greet him like he usually did. Grumbling under his breath, Tai Lung left the hall in search of his father.
Tai Lung knew Shifu wasn't alone, he had heard voices, it was quite possible Master Oogway was present. Maybe this was why Shifu had not yet appeared, when Master Oogway was around it normally meant something important. Following the sound of his father's voice Tai Lung found the two in the Hall of Warriors. Tai Lung strolled leisurely through the doorway, trying his best not to appear tired from the day's training. If it was Master Oogway then he wanted to look his strongest, Tai Lung would soon be turning sixteen, he would be officially an adult, it was then that Oogway would announce that he was the Dragon Warrior; but Tai Lung still felt that he had to show that he was truly worthy of his future title.
But it wasn't Master Oogway.
Shifu was standing beside a figure slightly smaller than himself. Tai Lung immediately felt the urge to slouch, he was tired after all the training and longed to go to sleep, but out of respect for his father he stood tall. Shifu turned around, already aware of his son's presence. He smiled warmly and gestured at the little figure standing beside him, but still facing the other direction unaware of his presence. Shifu gently tapped its shoulder and immediately the little figure leapt around to face Tai Lung, staring up with wide eyes.
"Tai Lung, this is Tigress, you remember we were talking about her?"
Tai Lung ruffled his brow and nodded curtly, he did. For the past few months Shifu had been going off to the Bao Gu Orphanage to help out, he had spoken of a child who had been causing quite a stir. Apparently all the other children there had been fearful of her and as a result the child had grown unhappy and joyless; Shifu had stated that he was helping this change, but never once had it occurred to Tai Lung that Shifu might actually adopt the little one himself.
Tai Lung looked down at the child. It was a tiger as her unusual name predicted, probably a nickname, she couldn't have been over six years old. She looked a little unsure of herself and was rocking on her heels, Shifu put a hand on her shoulder and immediately the rocking ceased. Tai Lung took a step forward then stopped, gave a bow to the both of them. The little child crossed her arms and had blown up her cheeks, making her appear like a hamster.
"Tigress, this is my son, Tai Lung. He'll look after you if I am absent." said Shifu, gesturing towards him, apparently oblivious to the look of outrage that had just crossed the snow leopard's face.
The "hamster" child deflated her cheeks and gave a shy wave, she seemed nervous. It was now Tai Lung's turn to cross his arms, he would never have admitted it but he felt slightly jealous; why did Shifu have to adopt another child?
The master in question swept one arm in a semi-arc indicating for them to follow and began to march along, quickly heading towards the Training Hall. Immediately the little tiger ran after him, Tai Lung followed after the two of them at a more leisured pace, he had no difficulty keeping up with his father but the cub practically had to run.
Shifu stopped abruptly, causing the little tiger to run straight into him and fall over. Shifu said nothing as the cub muttered a stream of apologies and stood up quickly, she glanced back at Tai Lung again, the snow leopard simply glowered back. It was ridiculous really, she was nothing but a tiny cub, but Tai Lung already resented her; he did not want her there anymore than he would have wanted to hold a nest of angry hornets.
"This is the Training Hall. Tai Lung spends much of his time here, so if you're looking for him this is most likely where he'll be." Shifu stopped and looked over expectantly at his son, Tai Lung easily caught on.
"Yes, I'm here most of the day in fact." he said. "You won't be of course, this hall is only for serious masters of the scrolls."
"What's that?" asked the little tiger, pointing at the stuffed punching bag, it was an old thing and had been pushed to one side since none of the current students learning at the temple were that inexperienced or young.
"That's the door prop." replied Tai Lung without hesitation. The tiger cub glanced at him suspiciously; Shifu shook his head and smiled.
"Yes that is the door prop, but it is also the doll upon which young kung fu beginners start. Like you for instance, if you wish to become an artist in Kung Fu."
"I do. I do!" immediately chirped the young one.
Tai Lung almost rolled his eyes at the over eagerness of the cub, wondering whether she would still think the same thing after she had actually spent a day training. He watched as the tiger cub went at the stuffed dummy like a mad thing, she obviously had much strength for a young one but lacked the ability to hold it properly. Her stance was awful as were her moves, yet Shifu nodded in approval at her; even when the little tiger was sent flying by the rebounding punch bag. Tai Lung noticed the haunting shape of Master Oogway nearby. The Master had appeared silently, and like Tai Lung he was also observing the scene before him but rather than watching the tiger cub he was watching the snow leopard. Tai Lung politely acknowledged him.
"Master Oogway, what brings you here?"
"I just wished to see the new student, I've been expecting her to arrive."
Tai Lung didn't reply.
"I see her presence unsettles you. Why is that?"
"Master Shifu did not inform me she was coming to live here. Master Oogway, with all due respect, how long have you known she was to be arriving here?"
"Quite some time now, but I believe Shifu only found out today."
Tai Lung looked back at his father again, and then to the cub that was still trying to show off, Master Oogway was gone by the time Tai Lung looked back round again. Frowning, Tai Lung began to wander back the way he had came, only this time he went out into the courtyard. Crossing the courtyard he began to wander over to the student barracks, the lonely dark building beckoning to him, it was where he went to relax and rest. The student barracks were empty apart from himself, he had the building to himself, it had been like this for as long as he could remember; there were only three other students currently studying here at and none of them slept here.
It was said that Oogway had taught many students in his life, but Oogway had lived a long time, Shifu had not finished teaching any student yet. The Valley of Peace wasn't the biggest of towns and the population was exactly that, peaceful, but this was mostly because they were so lazy and stupid that they wouldn't even have the faintest idea to be even able to throw a fist, while this was good in one way it was also bad in another. There were few who would even consider Kung Fu and even fewer who would possibly think of it seriously, the tiny handful that were mostly left the valley to live in bigger towns where there were more likely to be threats for which their strength used.
Apart from the occasional thief or bandit the Valley of Peace had not once been under any kind of threat for around a 1000 years.
The three other students currently studying at the Jade Palace were all older than Tai Lung, and despite the obvious, they all thought they were superior in skill. Tai Lung had liked them at first, even considered himself close friends with one of them, but after a few weeks they had begun to talk their way around as if they were in charge of the whole palace and Tai Lung had grown weary of them, and now he avoided them when he could, he found this easy enough. The three students only came on week days and only trained from noon till dusk, and as a result of being in the way, Tai Lung was always forced out into the courtyard to practice his skills so that Shifu could teach them at their own level, a level which was far below Tai Lung's own skill.
Two weeks passed and Tai Lung's dislike towards Tigress only grew. When Shifu was around he was almost always with her, almost as if he had forgotten his son. When Shifu wasn't around the cub was always left in his care. Once he tried to get rid of her by showing her to the other training students, hoping that they would look after her during the day, partially so that she would stay away from Shifu. This plan had unfortunately not worked, although all the students had said she was adorable innitially they had all soon complained that he and the cub were in the way of their training.
This did not mean that Tai Lung looked after her himself though, far from it actually. During the time when Shifu was not present Tai Lung often found that the cub would wander off by herself, exploring the hill top upon which the Jade Palace stood, he never tried to stop her either. Once he had seen her standing hesitantly at the top of the steps down to the valley, she was quite alone and shivering with cold but for the time being he couldn't have cared less.
On one such evening when Shifu was absent, and not expected back till the next morning since he had set off on a journey to the next town, Tai Lung had been sitting on the cliff beside the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom trying to clear his mind. He had been feeling troubled and irritable as of recently, and he had hoped meditation would take his mind off things. But Tai Lung found it impossible to close his eyes, he simply didn't want to; it made him feel like he was blocking out reality.
He spotted movement beside the barracks and looked over. The lonely small figure of Tigress was passing through the doors to go to her room. Tai Lung was no longer the sole occupant of the barracks now, though he still had his own room it now felt like the place had been robbed from him.
He shook his thoughts out of his head and looked out towards the rapidly darkening horizon, the sun had already sunk. It was only now that Tai Lung realized he was very hungry but could not for the life of him be bothered to go back into the temple. Tai Lung looked up at the tree he leant against and realized his hunger was not too big a problem, after a day's work he felt that he deserved one of the sacred fruit but could not help feel like a thief as he looked around and listened for any approaching figures. The hill was Master Oogway's favourite meditation spot and he would probably not appreciate Tai Lung taking fruit from the tree, but at the minute he was no where in sight. Tai Lung believed that the Tortoise Master was with Master Shifu, it would make sense after all since he had not seen him all day, but then again Master Oogway was rarely ever seen, sometimes Tai Lung had found himself wondering where he went. Confident that Master Oogway wasn't in the area, Tai Lung stood up and delivered a quick punch to the trunk. Three peaches fell; he caught them all and decide to head back down the hill to the barracks, it was getting late afterall.
The moon emerged from behind a thick blanket of clouds overhead and dazzled down on all below, the light caused a bright reflection to occur across the surface of Koi Pond, catching Tai Lung's attention. He finished the first peach very quickly, he spat out the pit as he approached the pond and watched the ghost white fish below swim lazily through the black water. The smooth earth brown tiles surrounding the pond were covered in water for some reason or another, making them treacherously slippery, Tai Lung was wise enough not to attempt venturing out onto them. He stood watching the fish for a while, thinking. He finished his second peach and sat down in the soft grass just beyond the tiles.
His tiredness returned and he began to find himself falling asleep, shaking his head and blinking every so often to bring himself back. He finished the third peach and considered throwing the pit in the pond, tired mind thinking that maybe the fish would eat it. The night was warm and the grass dry, Tai Lung rolled over onto his back so that he could looked up into the sky and at the stars, but it was not long before he closed his eyes. It wouldn't make any difference if he fell asleep here rather than in his dormitory, he would still hear morning gong...
Sometime later Tai Lung jolted awake to find someone he did not recognise very close to his face, tugging at his shoulder. Out of natural instinct Tai Lung yelled and shot up, unfortunately this ended badly. The culprit was Tigress, she had appeared to have been trying to wake him up, too late though. The little cub screamed out her own fright, took two steps back, right onto the lethal tiles, and disappeared with a splash.
Back to the present…
Much like then Tai Lung once again found himself lying on the ground, unsure of where he was but this time it was light, just, and there was no young tiger cub trying to wake him up. Tai Lung was confused, but he knew what had happened and wondered for a minute whether or not he was dead. Finding that he could still see he experimented moving an arm, his fingers twitched and his forearm moved slightly. He was tired though, and ached all over, and all in all it wasn't really that surprising, not after what he had been through.
Several minutes passed and he found the strength to roll onto his front, he stayed like that for a little while more, then heaved and used what little current strength he had to push himself up. Every move he had made was painful, but not terribly. Tai Lung looked around himself, he no longer appeared to be in the town, he was in a glade, dark trees stretched out towards the orange sky, the night would not be setting in for several hours more but the evening was already here.
He listened and looked around for a source of how he had gotten there; he immediately spotted the abnormal shape of a cloth sack sitting nearby. He pushed himself towards it until he was close enough to pull it back to him. He took no precautions; he turned the sack upside down to allow its contents to fall to the ground. A full set of clothes, a loaf of bread, a skin of water and a small leather purse that clinked fell. Tai Lung looked around again, but there was no sign that anyone had ever been there apart from himself in the past hour.
He pulled the string on the leather purse and emptied its contents as well. Money jangled to the ground, a piece of greyed paper was crushed amongst them. Tai Lung put the money back in the little sack and peered at the paper:
'If you are wise, you will leave.'
Not very descriptive, had the panda dragged him out here? Highly unlikely, he doubted the panda had the upper body strength to manage it, but then who had? Who would have cared less if he had died out here today? Tai Lung stuffed everything back into the cloth sack and stood up. He stumbled for a second, readjusting himself to the use of his legs and after a moment of hesitation he took the sack, carrying it over one shoulder and began to head towards where the trees were lighter and sparser.
He was surprised when he emerged from the forest and found that he was still in the Valley of Peace, he was just outside it in fact, he could see the first building just some hundred meters away. Tai Lung suddenly felt a great foreboding, this mingled with his confusion and pain, creating panic.
He knew he could not return, why would he want to return anyway? There was nothing left for him, there was nothing for him anywhere. He had devoted his whole life to being the Dragon Warrior, and now that was gone as well, he had nothing left. It made him so angry, so sad, so FURIOUS! How could Shifu not have seen that he had been telling him all along that being the Dragon Warrior was the only option. Kung Fu Masters were supposed to be guardians, protectors! And Tai Lung was a Kung Fu Master, but he was no guardian and no protector thus he was nothing.
Tired and in pain he turned his back on the town and began to head out, like the message had told him. But after ten paces he halted and glanced back, angry. There was no way he was just going to leave again, this was where he had grown up, it was not compulsory that he left, just logical. Someone here still cared for him, possibly, and with nothing left Tai Lung would have almost killed just to find out who it was. Maybe Shifu had forgiven him, that was the most likely explanation. But had Tai Lung forgiven him in return? An idea suddenly hit him, and it seemed likeable.
