Title: Need You Now
Author: iheartcallietorres (laurenxx3 on LiveJournal)
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: PG/K+
Summary: Songfic set to Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now." Post 6x17.
Disclaimer: You know the drill. All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes/ABC. I don't own anything. If I did, I'd be a lot richer than a poor college student. Any similarities to real life situations/persons are purely coincidental. Not for profit; for entertainment purposes only.
A/N: I have absolutely NO medical knowledge beyond what I see/hear on Grey's Anatomy, so forgive me of any medical-related errors. Also, this is un-betad, so all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you come across any. As always, comments are much appreciated (and will encourage me to write more fics in the future - *hint, hint*).
A/N 2: I know that there's already many post 6x17 fics out there, but I heard this song on the radio today and my muse went into overdrive and I just had to write this. I will finish/post part 3 (most likely the last part) of Moving On within the next few days, but I was itching to write this. It's a bit angsty, but don't worry, it has a happy ending because I'm a sucker for romance and happily ever afters. : ) Enjoy!
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Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor
Reachin' for the phone cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
Callie couldn't believe this was happening again. Everything had been perfect, then all of a sudden, the rug had been jerked out from under her, her world turned upside down. Again.
With George, she had almost expected it, at least after a while. And with Erica, well, they hadn't been together that long for her to invest herself too far into their "relationship." But both had broken her heart, left her less than whole for quite a while.
But this? This was too much. It was so sudden, so unexpected. How could she have not known that Arizona didn't want kids? It had seemed so… obvious. Arizona and kids just fit together. It had never even crossed her mind that she didn't want kids.
Callie wiped away a tear that had escaped and rolled down her cheek as she studied the items in front of her. She sat on the floor of her bedroom, various pictures of her and Arizona spread out in front of her. She picked up the last photo they'd taken together, about two weeks ago at the last 'girls' night.' A less than sober Meredith had snapped the picture of them dancing at Joe's, arms wrapped tightly around each other as they slow danced. Neither had been aware of Meredith and her camera and you could see the love pass between them as they stared into each other's eyes.
A sob ripped through Callie and she angrily tore the picture down the middle, clutching the two halves to her chest.
It had only been three days. Three days since Arizona had dropped the bomb that had shattered their relationship.
Callie couldn't in good conscience be angry that Arizona didn't want kids, but that didn't stop her from being shattered. She'd thought she'd finally found the one person she'd spend the rest of her life with, the one person that she'd love forever and grow old with, the one person she'd raise a family with. But Arizona had other plans. She just wanted dogs. And chickens.
Yes, George and Erica had broken her, left her with pieces missing, but Arizona had put her back together and filled in those holes. But now, she was shattered beyond repair and she doubted she'd ever be whole again.
Suddenly, Callie jumped up and grabbed her cell phone. She'd dialed all but the last digit of Arizona's number before stopping herself. What was she doing? They wanted separated things out of life. There was no hope. Was there?
She wouldn't, couldn't, call her.
Callie sighed heavily and let her phone drop onto the bed. She glanced at the clock and groaned. It was one-fifteen in the morning and she her shift began at seven in the morning. She should try and get some sleep.
She got ready for bed, knowing it was useless. She'd barely slept the past few nights. She hated sleeping without Arizona by her side.
As Callie laid in her bed, her mind kept wandering to the blond. She'd only seen her twice in the last three days. She hadn't had to talk to her yet, but she knew it was only a matter of time before some kid needed an ortho consult and Callie would be forced to work with her. She had no idea how she was supposed to do that and not break down.
She wouldn't call her.
But ten minutes later, Callie sat with her cell phone in hand once again. She couldn't stop her fingers as they mashed out the all too familiar sequence of numbers. Before her brain could comprehend what she'd done, a groggy "Callie?" came from the other end of the line.
Her nickname sounded so weird coming from Arizona.
Callie found herself frozen. What was she doing? She was about to hang up when Arizona said, "Callie? Are you… Are you okay?"
Callie hadn't realized that she'd been noisily weeping and that Arizona could hear her sniffles. She shook her head, then realized that Arizona couldn't see her. "No," she groaned out. "I'm not. I need you, Arizona."
"Callie…" Arizona sighed softly, her own tears threatening to fall.
"Please," Callie said. "I need to see you." The words tumbled out before Callie could think better of them.
Arizona sighed. "It's one-thirty in the morning," she said, feeling her own resolve crumbling. She desired to see Callie, the woman she was still very much in love with, as well.
"I don't care," Callie said. "Joe's is still open."
Arizona gave in, wanting too much to see her love. "Alright," she said. "Give me twenty minutes."
Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
Twenty minutes later, Callie sat at the nearly empty bar and eagerly watched the entrance for a blond head to enter.
"It's a little late, don't you think Callie?" Joe said, placing the shot of whiskey she'd ordered on the bar in front of her.
"I'm waiting for Arizona," she said, downing the shot, wincing at the burning sensation as it traveled down her throat to her stomach. "Another," she said. Joe refilled the tumbler and Callie tossed it back, watching the door the entire time.
Callie realized that the liquor on her nearly empty stomach was probably a bad idea. After only two shots, she was feeling a bit tipsy.
The door opened and the first think Callie noticed was how tired and worn Arizona looked. Callie knew she herself must look the same.
"Hey," Arizona said softly when she stood in front of Callie.
"Hey," Callie replied, unable to think of anything but the gorgeous blond in front of her.
"Can we sit at a table, perhaps?" Arizona said, motioning to the row of empty tables across the bar, far away from anyone else in the bar.
"Sure," Callie said, sliding off the stool. She had to steady herself before following Arizona to an empty table. They sat and were silent for several moments, unable to look the other in the eye. Callie suddenly felt better than she had in the past three days just being near Arizona.
And suddenly, nothing else mattered. Nothing but having this wonderful, amazing woman in her life, in her home, in her bed. She started to cry.
"Please, Callie, don't cry," Arizona said, her voice shaky. "I can't stand to see you cry."
"I… I j-just realized th-that it's n-not worth it," Callie sobbed.
"What?" Arizona asked, confused.
Callie looked her in the eye. "It's not worth losing you," she whispered. "Having kids isn't worth giving you up. I can't live without you. I need you."
Arizona lost the battle with her tears and they flowed freely down her cheeks. "Callie, I can't ask you to do that for me," she said quietly. "It's obviously something you really want. I can't let you do that knowing that ten years from now, you'd resent me."
"You're not asking anything of me," Callie said. "I'm offering. If I'm not with you ten years from now, I'll just resent myself. Yeah, I want kids. I want several, but if that means I have to give you up to get them, then it's not worth it. I… I have nieces and nephews and I'm sure our friends will be having babies soon. I can… be cool Aunt Callie."
Arizona was stunned. She had no idea what to say. Callie, her beautiful, generous, sweet, miraculous Callie was willing to give up one of her biggest desires… for her? She felt her resolve give a little and something her mother had said to her yesterday finally clicked. They'd been discussing Arizona's parents' marriage and how it had been rocky to start off with. Her mother had been reluctant to get involved with a military man, knowing how hard it was to be a military wife and raise a family when you're constantly moving around the country. But she'd fallen in love and had been willing to face her fears. When you're in love, you do anything for that person. Even if it means fighting your own fears. Arizona hadn't even really been paying attention to her mother at the time. She'd been too focused on not thinking about Callie, but the words came back to her, loud and clear.
Her mother was right and Callie was already living proof of those words. So why couldn't she fight her own fears? She'd take a bullet for Callie, so why couldn't she have kids with her? Maybe, just maybe, in a few years, she'd be willing to give Callie what she so desperately desired, but was willing to give up for true love.
Arizona stood abruptly and Callie felt her heart shatter once again. She was leaving.
But Arizona came and sat beside her, pulling her towards her. She kissed her hard, cupping her cheeks with her hands. They kissed until breathing became essential. Arizona pulled away and buried her face in Callie's neck, sobbing heavily.
Callie wrapped her arms around her and her own tears fell into Arizona's blond locks. They sat like that for several moments until Arizona pulled away and wiped Callie's tears away. "I love you, Calliope Iphigenia Torres," she whispered softly. "I always will."
Callie smiled for the first time in days. She kissed Arizona again softly. "I love you, too," she whispered against her lips. "I never want to lose you."
Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all
It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now
I just need you now
Ooo, baby, I need you now
