Hey there readers! I know i have to work on my Stefonnie fanfic but this Bamon thing keeps popping up in my head and now i'm addicted. Hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: These characters are the creative property of L.J. Smith and The CW. No copyright infringement is intended.


Mental Breakdown

Jeremy dead. Grams dead. Jeremy dead. Alaric dead. Jeremy dead. Vampire absent mother. Jeremy dead. Absent father. Jeremy dead. Jeremy dead. Jeremy dead.

This was all Bonnie could think of since the night Stefan had brought her home after Caroline saved her from the witches. That was four months ago and now it looked like everyone was slowly moving on. Elena had gotten her humanity back and was currently dating Damon, Stefan was back from his trip to Europe, Tyler was finally back and trying to work things out with Caroline and Matt was back from his road trip with Rebekah. They were all excited, except Matt and Tyler who didn't graduated, to start college and decorate their rooms and do everything that college kids do.

Jeremy dead. Jeremy dead. Jeremy dead.

Bonnie tried to pay attention to what Caroline and Elena were saying but it was hard because all she could think of was Jeremy and it was driving her crazy. Literally. Once again.

How could Jeremy be dead? How was she supposed to accept the fact that she would never see his face again, she would never touch him again, kiss him again, talk with him again? How could the universe been so unfair and take the 17 years old boy, who was wiser and braver than men twice his age, away, for good, just like that? Was she expected to be ok with it and move on? No!

How could things be as fucked up as they were now? Why was everyone dying? Death had become her shadow following her wherever she went and killing everyone she was somehow related to. She wasn't even 19 and her life looked like a bad horror movie and, piece by piece, her own life was becoming her poison and, truth be told, she was tired, exhausted actually, but she couldn't nor wouldn't cope with this bullshit! No way, she was going to fix this shit like she always did and everything would be okay again.

"Bonnie?" asked Caroline, who was sitting in front of her, with brow furrowed

"What?" replied Bonnie nonchalantly feeling her mind flying again to the J subject

"Are you ok?" asked Elena placing her hand on top of Bonnie's. "You look... distant" Pause. "Are you thinking about Jeremy again?"

"No, of course not!" she answered as quickly as she could though she knew Elena and Caroline were too shrewd to buy what she said. "It's just my dad, he's travelling again and this time he'll be gone for a couple of months so..." This was the truth, okay it was part of it. It made Bonnie sad to have such an absent father and even though she thought that each time it'd be easier because it had been like this since she could remember, she was dead wrong it was harder and now with Jeremy gone... Again, she found herself thinking about Jeremy. She thought that with time she'd heal and be able to move on but it didn't. Days went by and the pain only grew instead of disappear, the sun stung her skin and the moon disrupted her soul and soon, the days turned into months and just like that, it was a new school year.

Jeremy dead. Jeremy dead. Jeremy dead.

"That is why you have us, we're never going to leave you, it's a promise" Elena said with a soft voice squeezing Bonnie's hand

"And to prove it, tonight we are spending some quality time with all of us." said Caroline cheery and bubbly

"Sorry, I don't feel like partying at the very same spot that Jeremy used to work Care. So, maybe it's-"

"Who said it was here? The Salvatore's has plenty of room for all of us" she took a sip of her drink and leaned back in the chair "besides, it won't be big it'll be just us"

"Wait what? Do you think Stefan and Damon will let you do that?" asked Elena incredulous

"A - Stefan already agreed; B - Damon won't have much to say 'cause you'll be there too. No worries, Imma a genie!"

"Caroline" Elena said in a serious tone

"Don't worry about anything Elena. I've got all under control"

"I wonder if Tyler will be there" muttered Bonnie to herself or she thought she did because the next thing she knows, Elena gave her a nudge and Bonnie looked at Caroline who gulped nervously. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking Care"

"Yeah, well... I'd have to face that sooner or later so that's okay... I guess" she stated uneasily. "Regardless how things are between me and Tyler... I-I have to take the high road and try to make things easy for the both of us"

"That won't be that simple if you keep fucking the guy that killed his mom, no offense " said Elena while nibbling her burger "You can't keep running Care, I know you're scared of having the talk with him and I know what you are feeling, I've been there. The sooner you talk to him, the sooner he will be able to accept that you and Klaus are together and maybe, maybe move on"

"That's mature" said Bonnie. Since Elena got back her humanity she knew what she wanted and was able to think straight without her emotions getting in the way, well most of the times, but still she had matured there was no denying it. Unfortunately, one of her choices included dating Damon Salvatore aka the man-whore or as Caroline liked to say "The Vampire Gigolo". Everyone thought that as soon as Stefan got back from his trip, the last place he'd be was the boardinghouse but no, he actually chose to staying there and he greeted Damon with a handshake and greeted Elena with a "Hey" and started unpacking his stuff.

"I'll invite him over." said Caroline as if closing the 'Tyler Lecture' and changed the subject. "So, tonight is our last night before college starts so i suggest we go shopping"

"Yeah... it's been kinda slow in that department" said Bonnie shyly

"Same here." added Elena

"Do I have to teach you everything?" Caroline said with her hands in the air and then she searched her purse and took three credit cards out. "Why have rich boyfriends if we can't spend their money?"

Bonnie took one of the credit cards of Caroline's hands and looked at her "Stefan's not my guy Care"

"Whatever, he's a friend so stop pretending you don't like the idea and let's shop"

"Oh, how would we survive without you" said Elena dramatically while grabbing her things both Caroline and Bonnie giggled and left.


It was safe to say things had been kind of okay at the Salvatore boardinghouse, sharing his home with Damon and Elena hadn't been as hard as Stefan thought. Yes, he still cared deeply about Elena and he had a soft spot on his heart for her but he realized he had lost his identity, his true self. He couldn't remember when was the last time he decided to make something on his own, other than the trip he just did, something that had nothing to do with saving Elena or Damon but then again, he didn't really had time to enjoy himself giving the fact that hunters, vampires, werewolves or other supernatural creatures popped up in "boring" Mystic Falls weekly.

So, when Elena made her choice, Stefan felt his heart fall, trampled, shattered, tortured and somehow a tiny, tiny part of his heart was unimpaired - that was the part of him that was, in his words, "not not happy" for Damon. Stefan had to leave though, he couldn't stay there anymore, there was too much pain and everything was still fresh so he figured he needed time for himself, he needed to take on that he and Elena were done, for good this time, and move on, that was the only way he'd survive and to do that, he packed, left Mystic Falls and headed to Europe.

Being in touch with so many cultures made him question why he hadn't done this trip before since he was a vampire, a rich one. He saw the wealth of many countries as well as their poverty, he walked down many streets, visited museums, watched urban art and met people, friends he could say. He replayed the first time he met his friend, Nadja Rodrigues.

Among many, amazing countries, there was one that caught his attention, Portugal, he had never heard about it before so he decided he would give it a he arrived Lisbon, he went straight to the hotel, unpacked his baggage, it was hot as fuck so he decided it was a great time to check the town's beaches so he bought a surf board and went on the quest for the beach.

After walking for what it seemed to be for half an hour, Stefan had the feeling that he had already been in that street and started looking around, confused. "Oh, shit" he thought "Next time, don't act like a know it all and buy a fucking city guide". Someone touched him gently on his arm and when he turned around, he saw a girl, she was petite but what she lacked in size made up in her body, her eyes were grey and her lips were symmetrical just like her oval face, she had long thick eyelashes and freckles around her nose and her hair had tight red curls that reached her waist. He lowered his head so that he could have a better angle to admire her beauty since she was about the size of his shoulder. "God, she's stunning!"

"Olá, pareces perdido, precisas de ajuda?" she asked (Hey, you look lost, do you need help?)

He tried to understand what she was saying but he failed. He didn't even know how to speak Portuguese the only words he knew were "sim", "não" and "obrigado" which meant, respectively, yes, no and thanks. Still, he tried answer whatever she was asking. "Sim?"

The girl giggled. "Now she's laughing at you moron" he thought

"Do you speak English? she asked

"Yes!" he replied relieved and she giggled once again

"My name is Nadja Rodrigues" she said extending her hand, with a smile that showed her teeth

"Hi, my name is Stefan Salvatore" he said shaking her hand. He noticed that she had a soft skin and her hand was so small, like a kid's hand. He stared at her unable to look away. "Dude, you're drooling! Stop it!" he thought

"I guess you can you can let go of my hand"

"Right, sorry"

"You look lost, do you need help? Directions?" she asked with a softly

Stefan held on hand in the air."Guilty. I have no idea where I am, I just want go to the beach. It's fucking hot here" Then, he realized he just had cursed, that wasn't definitely the best thing to do when you first meet someone. "Sorry I couldn't help it"

"It's okay, I'm used to it" Stefan raised a brow and Nadja quickly explained what she really meant "No, it's not like that. It's just that people take soccer way too serious over here and when you watch a game everyone curses and it doesn't matter whether you watch it at the stadium or at café." She paused and added shyly. "Myself included. Well I don't wanna take your time" Liar! Her head screamed. "so which beach do you want to go?"

"Any beach, I don't know the country"

"You may wanna try Guincho beach it's really cool and if you're into surf" she pointed at his surf board "you're gonna love it. The waves are amazing and there's a lot of cool restaurants around"

"And how do I get there?"

"Well, you're pretty close now all you have to do is go down the street and take the first left then, you just have to follow the crowd of surfers and you'll be there in a sec"

"Thanks." Pause. "You know, I might have trouble finding cool places to hang out plus, I'll need a partner. Are you interested?"

"Yes, I am"

Coming back to reality, Stefan resumed his work out but was interrupted by Damon

"Are you aware of the party that the vampire Barbie is trying to have here?" he asked staring at Stefan who had jumped up for that wooden beam and began to do pull ups

"Yes, Caroline filled me in about an hour or some ago"

"Well, I'm in no mood to witness a Sesame's Street episode in my house so I'm having a pep talk with her"

Stefan stopped his work out and gently grabbed Damon's arm. "I know it might be silly having a party out of nowhere but this will actually be good for all of us. I mean, I thought fun was your middle name"

"Oh baby bro, my definition of F.U.N. it's not the same as yours, far from it that is why I don't agree with this"

"Damon, just this time. It's not like hell is coming to Earth if we allow ourselves to party a bit"

"Why do I have the feeling that the roles are reversed?" sigh "Whatever, I just have a REALLY bad feeling about this." He couldn't tell why or what was bothering him but Damon felt like today was no day to play around and be reckless. Damon Salvatore didn't think it was a good idea to party. Whereas Stefan was on full board of it. Weird. Sighing, Damon headed towards the door but then stopped. "You may want to know that they took your credit card."


Later that night...

After spending all the money in clothes, shoes and make up the threesome headed back to the Salvatore's to help Matt and Rebekah with the preparations for the party.

"Finally, I thought you'd never come back" replied Rebekah with two bottles of vodka in her hands

"We don't like be the third, fourth and fifth wheel" Elena said shrugging her shoulders. "Plus, we bought you stuff and we kind of had a hard time finding things you'd like"

"Please don't kill each other" said Matt

"She can't kill me, I'm older and immortal"

"As much as I'd like to stay and chat, I have more important things to do" said Caroline and then locked herself in Stefan's room. She sat in the corner of his bed and pulled her phone out of her jacket pocket, she dialed Tyler's number and after taking four deep breaths she got up and stared at herself in the mirror and finally called him.

"What" he greeted dryly and Caroline held her breath and started pacing around the room

"I know things between us are... they could be better and I know that but... hum... there's something-"

"Caroline I don't have much time so stop dancing around the subject and say what you have to say" Tyler replied impatient

"I-I... we're having a party at the Salvatore's and I'd-"

"Don't bother, I'm not going"

"But Tyler it's important! It'll be us having a good time, we all need it."

"Is Klaus gonna be there?"

"I-"

"Forget it! I won't go to a fucking party and watch you and your fuck buddy acting like everything's okay because it's not!" He hung up the phone and Caroline sat on the floor with her head in her hands and cried. Five minutes later someone was knocking on the door.

"Caroline, it's me Elena! Open, please" Caroline ignored her and kept crying "Caroline... please..." She wanted to stop crying but her tears were coming in full force and she didn't know how to stop them. Ten minutes later, she opened the door and there was no need to tell Elena what happened 'cause she heard it so, Elena hugged her tight and rubbed her back. "Forget about what just happened for one night and have fun with your friends. You deserve it"

"Tyler is my friend Elena"

"I know and he's my friend too but you were right we desperately need some fun. You've done so much for all of us, let me do this for you"

"Fine, just one night"

"That's all I ask"

Drinks were flowing, music filled the air as well as the noise of drunk teenagers. The Salvatore's boarding house was full of people and the street looked like a truck stop, the yard had light hanging in the trees and red cups all over the grass, boys and girls were dancing lively to the sound of the music the DJ was playing. The inside was full of neon lights and everyone was jumping with their hands in the air.

"So this is 'just us', I don't know why I keep thinking that she will actually keep her word" Bonnie muttered to herself

"Well at least she knows how to throw a party" commented a boy standing aside Bonnie

"Yup" She said hoping that would show she didn't want to talk with him

"I'm Zack Anderson"

"Bonnie"

"You're friends with Elena Gilbert right?" she nodded "I heard that her brother died, I think he was murdered by some dealer you know? He was crack head so I knew it was a matter of time, I mean Vicky Donovan is gone too" Bonnie couldn't believe the shit this son of a bitch was saying and rage was building up her body and she slapped the guy and tried to find the exit amid all the people dancing

"The fuck!" Zack yelled

Jeremy dead. Jeremy dead. Jeremy dead.

"Motherfucker, son of a bitch! I will fix this shit now!" Bonnie thought

Meanwhile, Stefan's starting buzzing in his back pocket, he answered it. "Nadja? Hi! How-"

"No time for warm greetings, you need to stop Bonnie!" she yelled

"Stop Bonnie? What? Wait, how do you even know Bonnie?"

"Stefan, just stop her! I saw her doing some spells and I seriously have a bad feeling about it"

"You saw her? How?"

"Stefan I'll explain later! JUST DO IT!" Stefan was ready to ask more questions but he spotted Bonnie leaving the house, crying. "Are you sure it's a bad thing"

"I know bad when I see bad" He took a deep breath, hung up the phone and followed Bonnie home.

When she got home she opened her grimoire and searched for a time travelling spell and when she was about to do it someone grabbed her.

"Let go of me!" she yelled turning around and she found herself face to face with Stefan

"Bonnie don't do this!"

"He's dead Stefan! DEAD! And I'm gonna fix it" Tears started falling down her cheek and her body was shaking as she approached her grimoire

"I can't let you do that Bonnie. I won't let you do that"

"Are you threatening me?"

"No, but Bonnie this is too dangerous. You don't know what you're getting yourself into"

"That's okay, I just want him back"

"Guess that leaves me no choice" Stefan grabbed her again and tried to leave the house with her but she gave him aneurysms and soon he was writhing on the floor. She restarted performing the spell and when she was done, she passed out.


The following morning

Bonnie woke up in her bed dressed in the same dress she had the night before. She was feeling good though it was her first day in college, she stretched her arms, yawned, looked around her room - bedside table, window, pictures of her friends, mirror, closet, chair, guy, door, wait what?

"Good, you're awake" he said sounding relieved

"Get out of my room" she threatened trying to remember where she had left her phone

"I know you're angry with me Bonnie but-"

"How do you know my name? Get out or I'll call the cops!" she yelled

"Bonnie it's me, Stefan" he said slowly approaching her. Bonnie felt her heart racing and the only thing she could was run so, she did. She sprinted down the stairs and went to the kitchen but the guy was already there

"Do you know who I am?"

"I know if you don't get the fuck out of my house I will scream" her voice was trembling

"Bonnie..."

"STOP SAYING MY NAME!" she reached the phone and dialed 911

"This is 911 what's your emergency?" The voice at the end of the line said

"There's a guy in my house, I thinks he's a stalker! Please, please, please help me!" she begged and looked behind but he was gone

"Can you describe him?" she went to her living room - clear, her dad's room - clear, her own room - same. "What the fuck?" she thought

"Ma'am?"

"It's okay, I think he's gone" she hung up the phone. "What the hell?" she muttered