The following story includes: Puppyshipping, hints of Puzzleshipping, cracktastic cameos, Téa dating a humanized Kuriboh, Yami in a tutu, alcohol use, vomitting on carpets, and a few swear words.
And without further ado, I wish you luck! And I hope you enjoy the story.
The residents at Millenium University were all a little odd. Any stranger to the campus would immidiately know something was weird, to say the least. The first tip off was, of course, the dean himself, with his platinum coloured hair and his giggly voice. He went by 'Pegasus', of all things. It was often said that students found him in his office watching episodes of The Looney Tunes. The weirdest rumour he'd ever been associted with was the one where he apparently kidnapped a student's soul.
Another thing about the university was it's staff; a janitor who looked like a zombie roamed the halls at night, the history teacher who threw textbooks at his students and had an awkward speech impediment, and half the professors sounded like they faked their teacing degree. The history teacher, who the students called 'Dartz', also seemed to dye his hair every other day, and he seemed to be in a love-hate relationship with the tech-buisness professor. One of the professors wore an American flag as a bandanna, and only taught his students about the Boston Tea party in every class; then he gave them all A+ grades because the A stood for America. Another professor was no older than the students himself, but he was a prodigy or whatever, so he got away with teaching music. The biology professor happened to have a large pair of assets, and seduced she the students quite unintentionally.
Then there were the students.
Needless to say, the women on campus were quite odd. There was a freshman who had a voice squeakier than a chew toy, makeshift cheerleaders who flocked to the attrative men, and one junior who never stopped making friendship speeches.
As for the males, well, they were all strange. There was a couple of philosophy majors who stole a pair of leather pants from a young man who claimed to an Egyptian Phraoah, a gambling sex-addict who called himself 'Duke', a man who declared his voice gave him superpowers and that Zack and Cody were his imaginary friends, and then there was Joey.
Joey's story begins at this weird place, standing in the admission office and tapping his foot. Both hands in his pockets, the Brooklyn raised man let out an annoyed huff. He had been waiting for a long while, and was beginning to feel tired. The secretary finally gave him his schedule, room key, and number. As Joey turned to leave the office, the glass door swung open.
"ISHIZU!" a tanned young man wailed, stomping his foot. "The Pharaoh stole his pants back!"
"This is the eighteenth time. It will not be the last." The secretary spoke to the man calmly, like he wasn't insane. Joey just stared at him, blankly.
"And what's your name?" suddenly, violet eyes were piercing into him. "I'm Marik!"
"Nyeh? I'm Joey..." he mumbled, wanting desprately to avoid the creepy guy.
"You've got to be new! Come on, let me show you around!" Marik snaked an arm around Joey's neck, tugging him out the door. "Hey! Bakura!" Marik unintentionally yelled in Joey's ear. "Get your pale, limey ass over here!"
An albino with a large mane of white hair spun around, glaring daggers at the man leaning on Joey's shoulder. "What on earth could be so bloody important that you had to drag me away from this?"
Joey glanced over the British man's shoulder, trying to see what 'this' was, exactly. It turned out that there, right in the middle of the building's hallway, men where playing strip poker.
"Aw, come on, dog!" a brunet whined, pushing his poker chips away. "I'll be in my shorts if I take another hit!" He sounded like a rap artist- a white rap artist.
"Jaden," a calm, deep voice came from a man with strange spiked hair. "That's the object."
"Yusei!" 'Jaden' rolled his eyes, "Dude, that shit ain't right."
Before Joey got to watch them finish their conversation, Marik hauled him off in the other direction. "Bakura, let's make him one of our minions! I mean, he seems like a good Steve."
"My name's not Steve," Joey began to say, but was cut off.
"Why don't you let the poor bloke go, Marik? It's his first day, you can torment him later." Bakura (or whatever his name was) said. Joey shot him a grateful look, but almost regretted it, seeing as this guy's face was stuck in an unbreakable scowl.
"'Kay!" Marik chirped, letting go of Joey's neck and latching onto Bakura's. "Onward, fluffy!"
Bakura rolled his eyes, but scooped Marik into a piggy-back nonetheless. Joey watched them walk away, then turned his attention back to finding his room. He was lucky enough to scored a single dorm room, thank god, and tried his best to follow the map that was printed on the back of his schedule.
The second he stepped out of the office building doors, a familiar set of white hair whizzed by him. Bakura? How had he moved so fast? Joey furrowed his brows, before he realised that it wasn't Bakura, but a smaller, wide eyed, and much cuter looking version of him.
"MELVIN, YOU ABSOLUTE WANKER, STOP THIS THING!" the cute-Bakura cried, flailing his arms. He had a higher voice than the man Joey had encountered a few minutes ago, but there was still British accent. Maybe they were related.
Suddenly, another familiar looking person rushed by. Except, this one looked like Marik- only his hair stuck up in crazy angles, like a fucking pinapple or something. Joey watched the crazy-haired guy run for cute-Bakura, who was actually struggling on rollerblades, of all things.
"Ryou! Try and keep balance!" the Marik look-alike screetched, running for the Bakura look-alike. Joey didn't bother watching them run off, instead focusing back on his dorm. He could faintly hear the sound of the cute-Bakura screaming something along the lines of 'what do you think I'm doing you git?'.
It was safe to say Joey was slightly weirded out. As he continued his walk to the dorm, he realised it would be faster if he walked through one of the buildings. Stepping inside, Joey wondered if this was the right decision. His sense of direction had failed him in the past, and he wasn't so sure he wanted it to happen again.
All anxiety was tossed into the wind when he noticed a boy flying through the air.
"HOLY FUCK!"
Joey leapt out of the way, the boy barely missing him. He quickly knelt down at the stranger's side. "Nyeh, are you okay?!"
The stranger sat up, seemingly unfazed. His eyes were wild, his chin-length green hair fell neatly around his face. "Excuse me, would you like this tooth? I do not care for it."
The stranger then spat out one of his teeth, holding it up to Joey's nose with a completely stoic expression. Joey was too shocked to respond, and didn't even bother stopping the strange man from taking his hand and placing the tooth in it, folding his fingers around it as if he were wrapping a gift. The green haired man got up, brushed himself off, and started to walk away. Joey stared blankly at his hand, before he dropped the tooth and rubbed his palm on his jeans to get rid of the moist feeling. When he looked up, the flying man was gone.
"What the hell is wrong with this joint?" Joey asked himself, getting to his feet. He started down the hall again, glancing down at his map every now and again. The blond was just looking up whe he saw something. Or someone.
"Run, Forrest, run!" a strange voiced, tall, brown haired man with a quiff shrieked, directing it to a more attractive man at his side. The shorter of the pair looked like he belonged in a magazine, with his long, ebony hair tied up into a perfect pony-tail, his green eyes wide with an emotion Joey was all too familliar with: stark terror.
"Tristan, will you stop making quotes for two seconds of your life and hurry up?!" the attractive one yelled, just as he brushed by Joey. The one with the pointy quiff followed, apologising lightly as he bumped Joey's shoulder.
And then there were women. Never before had Joey seen so many girls huddled together, running at top speed. It was a miracle they all rushed right past him, as he stared ahead with wide eyes, pressing his papers onto his chest. It was like the sea of females never ended, but he wanted out of it. Not that he didn't enjoy the sight of these ladies, no, it was quite the contrary. It was the sound of their squeals, however. If Joey didn't know any better, he would say they were yelling bloody murder.
Before he could think of a plan to get away from the crowd, Joey found himself being pressed back. They were actually moving him! Pushed farther away from his destination, Joey let out a shrill 'Nyeh!' as he was lost in the neverending stampede. Somehow, they managed to get him down an entire flight of stairs! He couldn't take it any more- with all the force he had, Joey jumped to his left, praying there was something much better behind that door. After almost getting swept away again, he violently closed the door behind him, slamming his shoulders against it for support.
As he took gasps of air, trying to figure out how he got stuck in that riot, he could make out the faintest sound. Ears still ringing, Joey took deep breaths, focusing on whatever and wherever that sound was coming from. After a moment, he realised it was a piano.
That's when he noticed where he was. Chairs lined up in rows like a church or a movie theatre, the soft melody of that piano, a stage; he was in an auditorium.
Deciding he might as well look around, Joey headed down the steps and towards the stage. He had been right about the piano, he could see someone playing it. As Joey stepped closer, he made out the details of the mystery musician.
Pale skin, nimble fingers, an undoubtedly handsome face with brown hair falling neatly around it, and bangs getting in the way of his blue eyes. Joey stared, mesmerised with the fact someone could look so focused and kind of gorgeous while they played the piano.
And the music was great! It sounded like something you'd read about in boring old history books, not typically the genre Joey liked. But this guy made it sound good!
Joey listened for a little while, finally taking a seat in the fourth row. He wasn't sure if the piano player had seen him or not, and he didn't want to disturb him, so Joey decided he'd just sit and listen. At least this guy wasn't as weird as everyone else Joey had seen.
When the song came to a close, Joey decided he'd clap. Hell, he stood up and gave a standing ovation. The brunet looked up, shocked at the fact someone had slipped in without him noticing. Then he bowed, feeling slightly flattered.
"You're really good!" Joey said, walking closer to the stage. "I mean, like, Mozart good."
"I am honoured you think so," the brunet said, his voice brisk and authoritive. It was the kind of voice that gave them impression that he hated everyone and everything. "I wouldn't be able to teach here if I was crap, now would I?"
Joey looked him up and down, "Nyeh? But you're hardly a year older than I am, I'm betting!"
"And how old is that?" the muscian said, a glint in his eye.
"Twenty-one," Joey said, getting the feeling he wasn't going to get along with this guy.
"I'm twenty-three," the brunet stated, not bragging at all. "Seto Kaiba." He held out his thin, piano playing hand.
Joey had to step up on the stage staircase to reach him, seeing as the guy was already so freaking tall. "I'm Joey. Joey Wheeler." They shook hands, a shiver running down each their arms. "Uh, if you wouldn't mind helping me...You see, I'm new, and I got shoved in here by a mob of crazy women-"
"You need to find your dorm?" Kaiba asked, cooly. Since he was a professor, Joey decided using his first name would be a bit insulting.
Joey nodded, "Nyeh."
With a swift motion, Kaiba had stolen Joey's schedule. He looked it over, then walked down the steps, his arm faintly rubbing against Joey's shoulder. For some reason, that made Joey feel a bit uneasy. They walked in silence, which Joey found awkward but had no intention of breaking it. Once they got back outside, they were met with another odd sight.
It was the guys who were playing strip poker, from earlier. The short brunet one that sounded like a rapper, and the tall, calm one. They were completely naked, the only thing blocking their manhood was a large pillow they were both using.
"Jaden. Yusei." Kaiba raised an eyebrow, "I thought I told you to stop playing cards with Jack and Crow. You know they're cheating, anyway."
"But !" Jaden whined, making Joey certain that this guy bitched about everything. "They promised cheetos! It was so tempting!"
"To get your clothes stolen?" Joey couldn't help but ask, earning a small snort of amusement from the tall man at his side. Well, what do you know! He had a sense of humor.
"Who's that?" Yusei spoke for the first time, his voice literally silking around his words.
"New guy- didn't you see Ishtar drag him out of the office?" Jaden said, surprising Joey with his sudden chance of tone. He was all hyper, now.
"What's up with his accent?" Yusei asked, turning his dark eyes to stare into Joey's soul.
"Huh? Oh, I'm from Brooklyn." Joey shrugged, "And I really ought to get to my dorm and unpack." He cast a glance at Kaiba, who nodded gruffly and began to walk again.
"Bye!" Jaden called after them, lifting a hand to wave. It just so happened that the hand he used was the same one that was holding up his side of the pillow.
"Jaden!"
"Whassup?"
"Your dick. It's right there!"
"Oh."
Joey couldn't help but laugh as he heard the two naked men begin screaming behind him, checking to see if Kaiba found it funny. Kaiba's eyes were glistening with amusement, but there was no smile on his face. Joey decided that getting this musical prodigy to smile was a new goal. He'd have to remember to meet up with him after this.
When they reached the dorm building, Kaiba gave an inclinement of the head. "This is it. Your room is on the fourth floor."
"Thanks," Joey said, smiling up at Kaiba with his signature grin.
"Stop that. You look like a spoiled mutt." Kaiba grumbled, averting his gaze.
Joey was about to retort, when he saw how adorable the music professor looked when he was blushing ever so slightly. Instead, the blond shrugged again and waved goodbye.
His luggage was piled up in the dorm room, it having been taken by some random teacher while he filled in the admission junk. Joey sighed, scooping up his one duffle bag and his suitcase full of movies. As he made his way for the stairs, he couldn't help but notice a familiar pointy quiff.
"Hey!" the guy exclaimed, noticing Joey at the same time. "You must've gotten attacked by fangirls!"
"So it you're fault, nyeh?" Joey grumbled, shooting a glare at the taller man.
"Who, me? Nah, it's the witch you gotta talk to." he jabbed a thumb over his shoulder, pointing out the attractive magazine guy on one of the couches. "Tristan Timothy Taylor, and you?"
"Nyeh? Oh. Joey Wheeler," the blond mumbled.
"Hope we can be friends!" Tristan grinned, it was a stupid grin, the kind that made a guy look so dumb and friendly.
"Did someone say FRIENDS?"
Joey leapt at the sound of a female voice, eyes widening when he saw its owner. She was pretty, with big, blue eyes and a thin frame, almost as tall as Tristan, and her chest was impressive. Joey stopped gawking at her and tried to smile, grateful when Tristan spoke. "Yeah! Joey here is going to be our new pal!"
"Really?!" the girl exclaimed, taking Joey's hands in her own. How was he supposed to resist befriending people who looked so easy to talk to? "I'm T
éa Gardner! Nice to meet you!"
"Uh, nice to meet you, too..." he trailed off, catching sight of another person coming up to him. Joey's first thought was 'what the fuck is up with his hair' when he saw him, with blond bangs, and a red and black mess poofing out of the shorter boy's head.
"Téa, you really shouldn't crowd people." the boy said, smiling warmly. Joey decided he liked this guy, already. "I'm Yugi Muto, and I'm sorry about these guys."
"It's fine," Joey chuckled, "All I wanna do is set up my room."
"Come on guys, we'll have plenty of time to chat with him after he's settled." Yugi said, which was enough to calm Téa down, Tristan reluctantly following suit. Joey finally managed the squeeze past them, shooting Yugi a grateful look as he did.
When he got to his room, he really wasn't sure what to expect. Thankfully, everything seemed normal. There was a sheetless matress on a bedframe in the corner, a mini fridge, a T.V, two dressers, and a bathroom. Joey liked the bathroom; there was enough space for him to do a wide armed twirl. He set up his stuff, unpacked his bag and stacked his movies up. It was already beginning to feel like home.
After making his bed, he contemplated on whether or not he should go back to the lounge. Instead, he looked out his window to see what he had a view of.
Faintly, he could make out the silhouette of two nude men trying to climb up a tree. Joey closed his window, deciding he'd seen enough fo one day.
