A/ N: I finally found my inspiration for my first multi- part fiction! It started as a long oneshot, then became a very long oneshot, and now it is a three- part fic featuring Clary, Jace, and the whole cast of characters. I hope you love it!
If I Never Knew You
Part 1: The Rage
In this world so full of fear
Full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear
In your eyes
…. September 2010 ….
The ground was cool and smooth, and a relief on her body. Clary lay on the floor, hoping to absorb as much coolness as possible. Her fiery red hair pillowed her head, damp from exertion. She looked up at the white tiled ceiling but it was too bright. She squeezed her eyes shut until she sensed a shadow looming over her.
"Get up."
She knew that stern, hard voice anywhere. Though he had every reason to be tired, she didn't even hear him catch a breath.
"Tired." Her voice, on the other hand, caught with lack of oxygen. "Break."
"Clarissa Fairchild- Morgenstern … get up."
"No."
A sigh. "Clary …" He was great with the stern voices, but she always gave in when he used that voice. She opened her eyes, and was assaulted with the most beautiful sight: Jace Lightwood, in training gear. He was clothed in all tight black (naturally) fabric, dark metallic runes, and glittering silver weapons. His golden hair curled with sweat on the back of his neck. He looked like an angel, especially since the fluorescent lights framed him.
He held his hand out for her, but she just looked at him. "We've been going for four hours straight, Jace. And we were out until three in the morning hunting that nest of Hyksos demons."
"Yeah, and you would have lost your left arm if Isabelle hadn't been there with her whip to save you." Jace said angrily. He looked irritated.
Suddenly, her body became surrounded by the smell of smoke and soap, and she was standing.
"You have got to stop lifting me up like that, Jace." Clary said, now vertical.
"Why? It's fun." They were so close- she could smell him all around her. She found herself sinking into him. All she wanted to do was drown in him, be embraced by him, rest her head on the banded muscles of his chest.
So she did, and they sunk into each other, and then they were actually sinking and she felt the cool mat on her legs, and the burning warmth of Jace on her chest.
They were kneeling on the mat, still embracing. She could never get close enough to him, but it wasn't for a lack of trying. She used all of her Shadowhunter muscles to pull herself as close as humanly possible. He had no objection, squeezing her back with just as much fervor.
His hands were scratchy on the small of her back, so she helped him pull of his gritty training gloves off of his adept hands.
Immediately after she heard the soft thump! Of the gloves on the mat, she brought her hands to his hair, running them through his bright golden mane. She opened fingers, letting his hair surround all the surface area possible. His hair was pure silk: thick and soft. He brought his hands to her cheeks. She could feel the thick calluses on his hands, developed as a product of years of hard fighting. They were rough, but comforting to her; a reminder of his strength- so lion- strong when fighting, yet so delicate when brushing her hair out of her face, or caressing her cheeks. She rubbed her face on his hand, sighing breathlessly, though she had more than enough time to catch her breath.
"Clary … Clary … we're supposed to train."
"Later." She said, burying her head into his neck.
"This is a waste of time."
She stopped the rubbing of his neck. She felt like her blood was going cold. Her brain seemed to freeze, short- circuiting with his brutal words.
"What?" She asked, pulling away. Jace also seemed numb, like he knew he had said the wrong thing. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. So she pursued. "Us being together- that's a waste of time to you? Kissing your girlfriend doesn't seem important enough when there's a knife to throw, an arrow to shoot, a sword to parry? You know, I wasn't lying in Alicante when I said I loved you. But in Alicante … you were just … different."
"Why is that … I don't think … Clary, you know I …" Jace sputtered for the right words, but Clary, for once, had had enough of her boyfriend.
"Save it, Jace. I just want to be alone." With that, she pushed herself up and strode out of the training room.
Thirty minutes later, she found herself sitting in the shower, her legs pulled close to her chest, her head in her hands. She couldn't stop the tears from coming, but she didn't want anyone to hear. When her mother was missing and Clary was somewhat homeless, living in The Institute, Isabel told her she took really long showers. It wasn't the showers that took Clary so long; it was the crying Clary always did in the shower, in order to drown out the noise of her despair.
The water had been cold for the last ten minutes, but she didn't care. She could barely feel it.
She missed Jace … and by Jace, she meant the man that she began dating in Idris. She closed her eyes, remembering happier times.
…. July 2010 ….
Clary woke up in her bed, or in the guest bed. The sun was warm on her face, but her down comforter was cool. She realized why she had so suddenly woke when she heard the banging on the door again.
"Get up, get up, get up!" Isabelle yelled.
"Just come in!" Clary hollered.
" … It's locked."
Clary rolled her eyes. "Are you a Shadowhunter or not?! Use an unlocking rune."
Iz sighed. "God, Clary, you've got a lot to learn. Shadownhunters can't use runes against Shadowhunters. Using an unlocking rune invades privacy."
"No, see, that's where you're wrong. Once a Shadowhunter gives his express permissions or suggestion, another may processed, since he is now taking the Shadowhunter's own wishes into consideration, a mark of respect. Amendment to the white stone, passed during The Accords."
"Whoa. Okay." Clary heard the light scraping on the door, and the door swung open.
"So your lessons have been paying off." Isabelle commented, heading for Clary's bed.
"Amarie is great." Clary affirmed. "But we have so much to do before I can fight. I have eight years of marks to catch up on, learn all the bylaws … anyway, I'll be in Idris for observation for at least another month. The only things I'm picking up fast are the laws. I wish it were something more interesting. During observation, they always expect me to do something grand, because of my gift. I always come up short."
Isabelle crinkled her nose. "Observation?"
"I guess I'm not expendable. But they told mom they want me under the protection of The Council while I catch up."
"I mean, they're probably just wary. It's not like this has ever happened before."
"I think they're guinea pig-ing me, actually." Clary confided, sitting up straighter in bed. "I mean, now that the Mortal Cup is back in the right place, they'll be able to create Shadowhunters in my situation: all the raw talent, absolutely no training. That hasn't happened in twenty plus years."
"They are not using you as a test. You've got skills like crazy. There's no way they would risk you."
"Good to know."
Isabelle laughed at Clary's skepticalness. "come on." She said, placing her hand on Clary's uncovered leg. "You've got a ton to do today. You're getting your 12- year marks today!"
Clary sighed but allowed Isabelle to coerce her out of bed.
After showering and dressing, Clary bounded down the long staircase, eager for breakfast, and to see Luke and her mother, who had been away for the past three days. Eight days after the party, in which Clary finally got her fairytale ending with Jace and Luke declared his maddening love for Jocelyn, Jocelyn pleasantly surprised everyone and proposed to Luke. Isabelle later told Clary that it was much more common for Shadowhunter women to be the one to propose than it was in human culture since Shadowhunters believed women to be more emotionally superior to men.
Jocelyn and Luke didn't want to wait- and the downworlders and Shadowhunters were meeting in Idris in three months, so Luke and Clary's mom decided to marry then, with everyone present. The Clave liked that quite a lot … they decided to use Luke and Jocelyn as a symbol of the future. Their wedding was going to be quite the event, so they had been spending ever second planning for Jocelyn's second wedding of the century.
They had been away for three days, visiting locations in Idris for the wedding and taking a few days off. When Clary finally greeted her mom and soon- to- be dad at the breakfast table, Isabelle instantly asked how the scouting went.
"It went very well … we're considering Rycour." Jocelyn said, spreading jam on her toast.
Isabelle, who had beat Clary downstairs for once, squealed. "With the waterfalls?! That place is a fairytale!"
Luke chuckled indulgently. "Glad to know you approve Isabelle."
"Yeah, that's what really matters." Another voice said sarcastically from the doorway.
Clary's head shot up from her gaze on her eggs.
Jace.
I hope you love it! For the next part to come speedily (and fluff- centriclly!) please drop me a review! I'd love to hear your opinions! Thank you!
