A/N:
What the hell, you ask? Well, I'm asking myself the same thing, really. An insane oneshot featuring me and Kawatta. We had this MSN conversation… yeah…
Disclaimer: Fruitymon is an idea I came up with. Not owned by me, but anyhow…. Fruits Basket and Pokemon don't belong to me either.
Warnings: Total OOC, insanity and some swearing.
One afternoon, Dukoro was walking down the street, when she bumped into her friend Kawatta, literally. Dukoro eyed her opponent and knew straight away what was going to happen. Lucky for her, she was carrying her Fruitymon with her! She also had her best Fruitymon by her side; an orange haired kid named Kyo.
Kawatta watched as Dukoro threw her companion towards her, screaming a battle cry.
"Kyo! Subliminal message attack!"
The boy blurted a string of subliminal messages, which seemed to go on forever. Dukoro smirked as Kawatta threw in her Fruitymon.
"Shigure!" She cried, to a tall, black haired man, "Boob attack!" You see, Kawatta could say this because she owns a Londonese Person License and Dukoro didn't. Shigure suddenly grew two, huge, pink boobs and slapped Kyo around the face with them. Dukoro withdrew her Kyo and threw in a silver haired man.
"Yuki! Pin in crotch attack! NOW!" Yuki stepped forward and mumbled something incoherent, before attacking Shigure with the pins sticking out of his crotch. Shigure yelped like a dog before hiding behind Kawatta. Dukoro smirked.
"Hatori!" Kawatta said, a tall man popping out of her Fruityball, "Erase that girl and her stupid animals memories!"
Kyo, Shigure and Dukoro gasped at the fact they were being called animals. Dukoro took a step back before emitting yet another fully grown person from her Fruityball deck.
"Akito! She-Male-Stalker-Man-Bitch Attack! Quickly!" Akito, the fiery tempered female roared loudly and bitch slapped the mother f—ker known as Hatori. Hatori squeaked and ran off, leaving Kawatta in dismay. She flicked through her Fruityball deck and withdrew a very powerful ball.
"Kisa!" She bellowed at the golden haired girl now before her, "Cuteness attack, NOW!"
Kisa skipped up to Akito and giggled in a girly manor. Akito fainted by the she sight of it. Dukoro let Akito rest in her Fruityball. She threw another ball and ejected a brown haired girl, by the name of Tohru.
"Tohru! Niceness to the max attack!" The girl suddenly went to ever Fruitymon and attempted to kiss their asses like the good little girl she is. Kisa shuddered before jumping back into her Fruityball unawares.
Kawatta cursed and threw out a decent young, brown haired boy. She snickered.
"Hiro! Emo Lord Over Ruler attack!"
Hiro threw some sticky, black, eye makeup at Tohru, casing her to go partly blind in one eye. Hatori suggested maybe she do her hair like his. She rejected the offer.
Dukoro then did a stunning, twin attack by throwing out Rin and Kureno at the same time. They stood still until the orders were given to attack. Dukoro smirked.
"Rin, Kureno! I'm not in the anime attack! Do it, now!"
Rin and Kureno screamed their named loudly, so everyone knew they existed, thus deafening anyone or anything within a 2 kilometre radius. Hiro fell back, a dazed look in his eyes. Kawatta put him back in his ball and turned to Dukoro.
"You will never win!" She howled, throwing out a very rare Haru and an Akito, just like Dukoro's. "Haru, seduce Rin! Akito, seduce Kureno!"
The next scene has been edited out, because it's a K plus story.
Dukoro sighed and threw out her most useless Fruitymon; Momiji. He scuttled around like a madman, waiting for instructions to be given.
"Momiji… just do SOMETHING!"
He stood there and picked his nose, while Kawatta smirked and bought out her own Momiji. Dukoro eyed her suspiciously.
"Momiji! Girly boy attack, now!"
Dukoro's Momiji was knocked off his feet and face first into the concrete street. Kyo and Shigure cringed at the sight. Dukoro also. She threw out an Ayame in anger.
"Ayame! Show this stupid Momiji what a REAL girly boy attack looks like!"
Ayame skipped over and attack Momiji with his stunning girlish powers. Dukoro was amazed; she didn't even know her Ayame could do such things!
It seemed again that Kawatta had her own Ayame. She threw it out and cast it to do a very evil trick.
"Ayame, do the special trick that the guy who rules the land you come from taught you!" Ayame kicked his heels together and started making out with Dukoro's Ayame. Everyone was disgusted, so each opponent bought their Ayame's in.
Before Kawatta could think, Dukoro cried, "Yuki! Extreme, mega girly boy attack!". In a flash of light, her Yuki was actually bitch slapping Kawatta, like a common hoe.
Kawatta, insulted and in pain released her Haru. His black and white hair shone as she screamed, "Haru! Man Boob attack!". Haru's little cow udders slapped Yuki's girly face. He began to cry and retreated back to his Fruityball.
"Kazuma!" Dukoro yelled as she handed out another Fruitymon, "Insane Martial Arts Attack!"
Well, I'm sure you can guess what happened. In the end, Haru was left a bloody heap on the ground. Dukoro laughed hysterically. Kawatta was not pleased, so she sent out her Kyoko.
"Kyoko! I love my daughter too much attack!"
Her Kyoko bellowed an angry growl before mauling Kazuma in anger. Dukoro quickly whipped out her Katsuki and bought him to attention. "Katsuki! I look too much like Kyo attack!"
Katsuki and Kyoko battled it out as Dukoro and Kawatta got their next Fruitymon ready. Kawatta went first… "Kisa! I love sissy too much attack!"
Katsuki was knocked to the ground with a thud as Kisa mauled him as a tiger. Katsuki screamed painfully before Dukoro put him back into his Fruityball.
Dukoro called upon her trusty Shigure. "Shigure! Feel up Kisa, right now!" Shigure extended him hands and reached for Kisa's breasts fondling them tenderly. Kisa shrugged him off and hid behind Kawatta. She hissed.
"Akito!" Kawatta cried, "Make everyone grovel to you!"
"Kyo!" Dukoro said, turning around and pointing at the boy sitting behind her, "Don't grovel! Your not part of the zodiac! Now attack that white assed bitch!"
Akito dodged the attack and called upon Yuki to help her. Kawatta smirked.
"Yuki! I'm better than Kyo attack! Now!"
Yuki laughed at Kyo loudly before shoving him to the ground. Kyo cried. Yuki smirked. But Yuki wasn't smirking for long, as a familiar rumble could be heard from within a certain Fruityball Dukoro owned.
"Kagura!" She said to the rattling Fruityball in her hand, "Don't hurt my lover boy attack! Go now!" She realeased the grip she had on the ball and Kagura flew out, tackling Yuki to the ground and stabbing him with the pins in his crotch.
Kawatta cringed and sent out her own Shigure to feel up Kagura. It was done, but Shigure got a mighty big slap mark across his cheek. Kawatta used a potion to heal his HP 20 points.
"Tohru!" The All Powerful Dukoro exclaimed, "Boycotted Innocence attack, NOW!" Tohru went and did some very explicit stuff to dear old Shigure. Poor him.
"Rin!" Kawatta said, calling upon her own Rin Fruitymon, "I hate you all attack!"
"I hate you all," Rin stated. All the other Fruitymon on the field's ears burned, except Haru's. Dukoro smirked.
"Haru! You don't hate me attack!"
Haru went over and hugged Rin, which made her reluctant to fight any longer. Kawatta put her back into her ball and sighed
"Hiro! Get a room attack, now!"
Kawatta's Hiro shoved Haru back into his Fruityball and shut it tightly, happy with what he had done. Dukoro threw a Kisa.
"Love me attack!"
Kawatta's Hiro fainted from all the lovey dovey crap. Kisa didn't even feel bad.
"Akito!" Kawatta summoned, "Use your God like Powers to make KISA FEEL BAD!"
Kisa began to cry as Akito taunted her. Dukoro was stunned that her Kisa could be deafeated so easily by some lame Akito. She pushed her Kyo forward.
"Kyo! I am cold hearted and you all suck ass attack!"
Kyo went and shoved Akito around like the idiot he is. Akito sooked and went back to her little Kawatta. But little did Dukoro know, Kawatta had this game in the bag.
"Kagura!" She called upon, releasing her Kagura, "I love you Kyo attack! Go now and end this battle!" Kagura shrieked and mauled Kyo so badly, Dukoro's life points diminished to a mangey zero. Dukoro whimpered loudly and angstly.
"I… I can't believe YOU KILLED MY KYO!" She told Kawatta. Kawatta explained she could just take Kyo to the Fruitymon Centre. Dukoro thanked her and went on her way to the Centre. Kawatta waved her goodbye, a sweet smile on her face.
Dukoro sighed as she walked.
"I have a feeling I'll see her each and every week for all eternity, our Fruitymon battles becoming more sexy and erotic each time we meet,"
A/N:
Viva la Gaspos!
How insane… god…
Well. Sorry for making you read this stupid little thing.
Haha.
