Disclaimer: I do not own Negima! Magister Negi Magi.

Randomness, yuri, hopefully OOC moments later on when everyone starts going insane.


"Okay, look, I know when I answered the stupid 'if you could bring one thing with you to a deserted island what would it be' question I wasn't taking it seriously... but can I please try again?"

Asuna waited expectantly. No response.

"Oh, come on, don't be so stingy! None of us gave real answers to it! You can't have expected us to know you were actually gonna put us on a deserted island!"

Still no answer.

"Grr... fine! Be that way! And see if I'll help you out when you need it!"

"Asuna, who are you talking to?" Konoka approached her friend, Setsuna not too far behind. She followed Asuna's gaze up into the sky, and then looked at her again. "There's nothing up there."

Asuna growled. "Who do you think? The person who decided it'd be so freaking hilarious to drop us onto a freaking deserted island with conveniently the one thing we all said we would bring if we were ever taken to one!"

"No one put us here, though," Konoka pointed out. "We just kind of... you know, arrived. Which is pretty weird, actually."

"In any case, everyone else is having a meeting over there," Setsuna took over. "Don't you think it'd be better if we joined?"

"Hmph. Fine." Asuna agreed, but as she followed the two to the rest of the class, she glared threateningly at the sky, mouthing, I'm watching you.

Yeah, the sky had better watch out. Hell hath no fury like Asuna scorned, after all.

/~/~/

"Alright, let's go over our situation," Haruna declared. With her notebook and pencil in hand, she listed, "We're stranded on a deserted island with one item each, no Professor Negi, and our Pactio Cards are all gone. There's a jungle over there but scary noises come out of it. We have no water, food, or means of communication. Chachamaru and Eva just ditched us and flew off to who-knows-where. Asuna's screaming at the sky. Anything else?"

Chisame raised her hand. "Yeah, how about, we're totally screwed."

"No one appreciates a pessimist, Chisame. Others?"

"Hey, I was wondering, why is Sayo here?" Yuna asked. "And uh... why can we see her?"

Everyone looked at the ghost in question. Sayo merely shrugged in return. She didn't have an explanation for why she was with them on a deserted island when in reality she should be trapped on the school grounds.

Haruna rolled her eyes. "She's our classmate, of course she's here. Incase you haven't noticed, the entire class is with us. Minus Eva and Chachamaru. Excluding Sayo would be mean."

"No, that's not really what I meant..." Yuna decided to drop it anyways.

"What I want to know is why Haruna's up there talking instead of Ayaka," Misora spoke up. A lazy smile on her face, she pointed out, "Isn't she our class rep?"

"She's too busy freaking out over where Negi is," Madoka shrugged with a glance at the blonde girl in the distance. "Not much we can do about that. Anyways, shouldn't our main priority right now be, oh, I don't know, surviving?"

A thoughtful silence followed her statement. As in, everyone went silent because they were thinking. Hm. Survival. That sure sounded nice. Especially considering out here in the open without their magic half of them wouldn't even last a day.

"The logical thing to do would be to divide into groups," Setsuna said as she joined the rest of her class. Konoka and Asuna stood on either side of her, the latter still looking grumpy about being interrupted from her rant. "One group looks for fresh water, another for food, and another builds shelter. We can think about everything else after we've accomplished those basics."

No one could really argue with that plan. So, after several minutes of deciding which group to be in, the class split up with the agreement of meeting back at the initial place once all their missions were completed.

/~/~/

Casting her eye on the group, Haruna smirked. "So this is our building crew, huh?"

"Hey, don't say it like that," Chao frowned. "You've got a genius here. You should be thanking me for deciding to stay behind!"

"You know, this has been bugging me for a while now... what're you doing here?" Satomi next to her asked. "I thought you went off to the future. We even went through all that trouble just so you could. And now you're back?"

Chao made a face. "You could sound a bit happier that your partner-in-crime has returned, you know. At least Ku Fei is glad to see me." She gestured at the Chinese girl who was practically attached at her hip and then shot a smug look at her fellow scientist and stuck out her tongue.

"Yeah, real mature, Chao. And you still haven't answered my question."

"Before that," Chisame interrupted, "does anyone even know how to build a shelter?"

Silence and blank looks.

Chisame facepalmed. "Yeah. We're screwed."

"What did I tell you about pessimism, Chisame?" Haruna scolded. "It can't be all too different from drawing one, after all. Here, look." She shoved a beautifully drawn picture of a wooden hut into the other girl's face. "Now build it."

"What? You expect me to build this-?"

"I COMMAND YOU TO BUILD IT."

Chao bounced over. "It looks simple enough. All I need are some tools and wood." She looked around, sizing up each of her classmates within the group before settling on one. Or two. "Narutaki twins!"

Fuka and Fumika, who had been off building sand castles or maybe making out, snapped to attention. "Yes, sir!"

"Find me some hammers, saws, cement blocks, planks of wood, shovels, meat buns, ladders, and anything else useful that you can find!"

"Roger!"

As the twins scrambled off, Chao glanced over at Chisame triumphantly. "Never underestimate a genius," she said in pride.

"We are on a deserted island." Chisame paused to see if that had properly registered in everyone's minds. Just in case it hadn't, she repeated, "A deserted island."

"That we are, aru," Ku Fei nodded sagely.

Chisame facepalmed again. "Never mind. Where's Asuna? She's part of this group, too, isn't she?"

"Over there yelling at the sky again," Satomi pointed over to the orange-haired girl jumping up and down at the edge of the water.

"And Ayaka?"

"Still crying over Negi."

"Oh my god I'm the only sane one."

Haruna, Chao, and Satomi all glared at her. Misa would have but she was sleeping or tanning or something on the sand.

"I resent that," Chao said.

"Deal with it."

/~/~/

"Kazumi, don't you think flashing your camera like that is a little dangerous?" Ako said, eyeing the reporter warily. "You might attract some wild animals or something, you know?"

"Well, yeah, but if I don't take pictures what am I supposed to show to the press when we get back?" Kazumi pointed out without even looking away from the surrounding nature. She snapped several more pictures, nodding in satisfaction as she went over them on her camera.

Misora laughed, hands placed leisurely behind her head as she walked. "I love your optimism. But hey, why is Sayo coming with us? It's not like she needs food or water, right?"

"That doesn't mean I can't help you guys look for it," the ghost said indignantly.

"Misora, I was wondering, too," Kazumi finally looked up from her camera to glance over at the part-time nun. "Where's your little loli? I mean, I know she's not part of our class but she's always around you, isn't she?"

"Eh? The way you phrase that makes me sound like a lolicon!"

There was a pointed look from everybody else in the group.

"You guys suck."

"Can you all please stop fooling around and actually try looking for water?" Setsuna, at the head of the group, spoke up impatiently. "If we can't find a creek or something there's no way any of us will be able to survive the next couple of days. And I refuse to allow Miss Konoka to die."

Konoka smiled. "Aw, thanks, Setsuna!"

No one else seemed particularly amused. Except for Kazumi who took a picture of the now-blushing swordsman.

"I... did not mean it like that," Setsuna said.

"Oh, please don't mind us," Chizuru waved a hand. "We'll move on to find some water. In the meantime you feel free to give in to your inner desires and take Konoka behind a tree and undress her a little bit and give her a little taste of your-."

"Chizuru!" Natsumi cut her off, her face almost as red as Setsuna's.

"I can sense water," Akira declared abruptly.

Ignoring everyone else, she proceeded on. Misora stared after her and then looked at Ako. Ako shrugged and followed. With nothing better to do, the rest all went after her, Setsuna in particular looking very happy with the change of subject, until it was just Kazumi and Sayo trailing behind due to the reporter starting up her picture-taking again.

"Setsuna looked really embarrassed by that just now," Sayo said.

"Yeah..." Kazumi seemed strangely distracted by a particular tree, as she snapped several pictures of it. She glanced over at the ghost. "You wanna try it out?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

/~/~/

"Yay, we found it!"

Madoka quickly held out an arm to keep her fellow cheerleader from running over to the desired item. "I don't know... it seems kind of sketchy."

Sakurako pouted, turning puppy-dog eyes to the brown-haired girl. "But it's a crepe stand. What's sketchy about it?"

"The fact that it's in the middle of a jungle?" Mana offered dryly.

"And how it's running itself without workers," Kaede added. "That seems pretty creepy to me."

Yuna rolled her eyes, waving a hand dismissively. "Come on, you guys, it's obviously just magic or something. There're fresh crepes right there and it's not as though we can go back without any food."

"It's the 'or something' part that's worrying, though," Yue pointed out. After sipping some more from her juice box, she continued, "It could be ghost food or poison for all we know."

"Oh, in that case we should just let Sakurako eat it and find out," Makie suggested cheerfully. "I mean, she's got luck on her side so it's not like she'll die, right?"

Sakurako bounced up and down. "Yeah, that's right! I can totally try it out!"

"Epic!"

"No." Madoka, Mana, and Yue said flatly.

The two deflated. "Aw..."

"Well it's not as though we can just stand around and stare at it," Yuna said impatiently. "Either we eat them or we move on. Hey, Librarian, what do you think? Can we take the crepes or not?"

Nodoka gave a start at suddenly being dragged into the conversation. "Um... generally I don't think it's a good idea to eat food that makes itself..."

"Then I guess we'll have to look somewhere else," Kaede said, already turning to walk away.

Sakurako made a face, pointedly staying behind when everyone else began to follow the ninja. "I don't get why I'm not allowed to taste test it but Zazie is. That's totally not fair."

"... Zazie's what?"

A second glance at the stand showed that, indeed, the white-haired jester was calmly snacking on a strawberry crepe and watching the birds in the trees as though nothing was wrong in the world. Upon finishing her crepe, Zazie reached for a banana one that had just finished making itself and proceeded to eat that one as well.

The group stared incredulously.

"She's not dead yet," Makie observed.

"Zazie might just be the bravest person I know," Satsuki whispered in awe.

Mana just rolled her eyes. "Or the weirdest."

"In any case there don't seem to be any immediate side effects," Yue said, approaching Zazie and the crepe stand. "Might as well take them."

/~/~/

"Master."

"What?"

"Are you sure you don't want to return to the rest of the class?"

Evangeline groaned. "Not again. How many times have I told you, we're not going back to them!"

"But I don't think we'll be doing much better without them."

The vampire pointedly ignored her companion, instead stomping on the chunk of ice she was standing on and making a dissatisfied noise.

"Master."

"Now what?"

"I still have enough fuel to make it back to the island."

"Chachamaru, let me make this very clear to you, I would rather die on this stupid piece of ice than go groveling back to my classmates, is that understood?"

"... yes, Master."

A pause.

"Master."

"Grr..."

"I estimate that by tomorrow afternoon the ice will have completely melted."

"..."

"Perhaps our escapade should have been better planned for the situation that I would be unable to make it to the nearest country. Such as this situation."

"We didn't plan it at all! We just left!"

"Exactly." Another pause. "As I said, I still have enough fuel to make it back to the island."

"Oh, shut up."


Honorifics confuse me so I just went with the English dub version of everyone calling each other by their first names.

Thanks for reading and please review!