There's a grief that can't be spoken. There's a pain that goes on and on. Empty chairs at empty tables now my friends are dead and gone.

(Les Miserables)

xxx

"So. How's Daniel? No, actually – where's Daniel?"

Jack looked up and down the beds in the infirmary, expecting to find his partner tucked in with IV's running full pelt. Janet appeared at his shoulder and gave him a tight smile.

"I've assigned a VIP room to him," she told him, signing a chart and handing it back to the waiting nurse.

"Oh?"

"Let's go to my office sir, I'll fill you in."

Jack nodded and followed Janet into the small 'cupboard' at the back of the infirmary – the room allocated to the senior physician. He closed the door behind them and took a seat. Janet looked at him and smiled, she could see the worry etched on the older man's face. It had been a tough few days for everyone especially Colonel Jack O'Neill. Daniel had been away with SG-11 on an archaeological dig on P3X-888. Jack had argued against it as he hated his team being split up but Daniel had been so excited. Robert Rothman had reported signs of an unidentified 'species' found in skeleton form during SG11's naquada excursion and Daniel had jumped at the chance to go get his hands dirty, and there was no way he would let anyone get in his way – this was his area of expertise, he was in 'Daniel Disney Land.'

When Rothman had burst through the gate, informing them Daniel had been abducted and Loeder had been killed Jack knew he should have listened to his instincts. The next twenty fours hours had been spent tracking Daniel and his abductor and a long the way Jack had had to deal with the compromise of some of the search party. The necessity to actually 'kill' both Rothman and Hawkins after a dip in a lake which contained live Gouald symbiotes, had not been top of the 'to do' list on this particular mission. The relief at finding Daniel in one piece had been tampered with the dread of having to pass on the information of the demise of not just Rothman and Hawkins, but the rest of SG-11 as well. He knew Daniel would blame himself and the look on Janet Frasier's face at this moment of time confirmed the fact.

"Daniel was exhausted and slightly dehydrated," Janet started pouring both her and the colonel a cup of coffee. "I re-hydrated him while you were at the debriefing and gave him some strong muscle relaxants to help with the pain."

Jack nodded. Daniel had made his way back to the gate with them as if on autopilot, head bowed and feet shuffling. After being dragged a good few miles by the wild Unas, Jack figured the ordeal must have left Daniel with some injuries.

Janet continued, "I wanted to keep him in the infirmary but he insisted he was fine and he needed some space. His emotions were all over the place sir. I think the realisation of what has happened has just sunk in. He was getting upset and rather agitated so I offered him a compromise – a VIP suite and a mild sedative. Hopefully after a good sleep he will feel better. I checked on him ten minutes ago and he was fast a sleep," she told Jack with a sad smile. "He needs lots of rest, some good food, and probably an appointment with Doctor McKenzie."

Jack nodded again, staring into his coffee. Janet lent forward and placed her hand on his arm.

"What about you, sir? I think you could do with an appointment as well."

Jack's head snapped up at the suggestion.

"No," he stated adamantly.

"I'm fine. We got Daniel back. I'm fine."

Janet looked at him with narrowed eyes. She was not fooled that easily.

"What you went through was very traumatic, talking things through might hel-"

"I'll talk to Daniel," Jack interrupted standing up. "What room is he in?"

"Sir?"

"I'm fine Doc. Daniel needs me."

Janet shook her head. Sometimes Jack could be so infuriating – no – scrub that – most of the time he was infuriating, but seeing the look of determination on his face, she knew not to push it this time. She would bide her time and wait and pick up the pieces when the walls came tumbling down.

"Room three, sir," she told him with a sad smile. "Don't wake him, and if there are any problems phone me straight away – someone will be checking on him in about an hour."

"Okay," Jack stated his hand on the door handle. "Could you please let the General know that I will be completing my report in room three if anyone needs me?"

"Yes, sir," Janet replied and watched as Jack made his way down the corridor towards the VIP rooms. She sighed and returned to her own reports with a heavy heart. This whole situation was such a mess. The loss of good men was devastating and the guilt of good men was criminal.

xxx

Jack gently lowered himself on to the bed. He lent his elbows on his knees, placed his head in his hands, and sighed sadly. Daniel was fast a sleep, curled up in his normal position, both hands tucked under his chin. He looked exhausted, even in his sleep. His face was as white as the sheets making the angry red scratch on his cheek stand out more prominently. Jack sighed again, shook his head and – after a quick glance up to the security camera – reached out and carded his hand through Daniel's hair. What he really wanted to do was to reach out and pull his lover into his arms, to rock him. To assure him he was still alive, to hold him and never let him go again – but – he knew the score and had to be content with the minimal touch. Daniel stirred and whimpered.

"Shh. It's okay. It's only me," Jack soothed rubbing the sleeping man's arm. "Sleep, Danny. Just sleep."

Daniel smacked his lips and settled again. Jack remained at his side for a few minutes, waiting for any more signs of distress – signs that did not come. Happy that Daniel was resting once more he tucked the covers over him and made his way to the desk in the lounge part of the room to work on his report.

He liked this room. Janet always put SG-1 in room three when they needed to regroup or recover. The relaxing sofa and computer station made it easier for the team to come together and heal when needed. Jack powered up the laptop and began logging his thoughts. This was not going to be an easy report to write, documenting what happened was going to be hard though not as hard as having to tell the relatives of the airmen and scientist's that perished. He did not envy the General that job. He had asked if General Hammond could inform Mary Rothman – Robert's wife – first, as he knew Daniel would want to – no, knowing Daniel he would insist he be the one to tell her, and Jack doubted that he would be strong enough. So Daniel would be pissed when he found out but Jack could deal with a pissed Daniel more easily than a devastated one.