You wonder sometimes when things changed for you, when you finally crossed that increasingly blurred line.
A friend. That's what you told yourself; that's what you told your wife. A friend that needed your help. You believed it, too, as you precariously straddled the divide between right and wrong.
One person's saviour.
Another person's disappointment.
You told her once she wouldn't let you go. Truth is, you wouldn't let her go either. You needed her as much as she needed you, needed her to make you feel good about yourself, to make you feel like you could finally be the strong one in the relationship. The one you could rely on.
It felt different.
New.
You missed her when she wasn't there, the little talks you had, the hugs you shared. You missed the way she looked at you, those little smiles, the way the sadness behind her eyes dissipated ever so slightly whenever you were with her.
You missed the way she made you feel.
You're not sure when things changed, but you do know one thing. You've swapped one addiction for another.
