The Disney Sell-Out Incident
It was all Abby's fault, really. Timothy McGee didn't like to put the blame of such a catastrophe on her, but it really was all Abby's fault. It had been her idea, her planning, and her preparation. And then, the week ended in the inevitable, embarrassing disaster.
.:. :.: .:.
In the bullpen, everything was unusually quiet. The team had recently finished a particularly drawn out case, and was now completing the final bits of paperwork.
The sound of Gibbs' phone broke the monotonous silence. "Hey, Abs...Okay, on our way." Gibbs rose quickly from his chair. "Abby's lab, everyone, now!"
One of the first things the team noticed about the lab was the change in music. Instead of the usual, upbeat rhythms of industrial techno, there was a creepy, crawly tone to the music.
"Hi, guys!" Abby exclaimed as they all walked in, giving them each a big, Abby hug. "I just had a breakthrough idea!"
The team waited.
"Aren't you going to ask what it is?"
Ziva answered first. "Okay, I will chomp-"
"-Bite," Tony interrupted.
"What is your idea, Abby?" Ziva finished.
"Okay," Abby began. "So I was thinking: 'What could be done this Halloween for good fun and scares?' And I thought for a long time until it came to me. What is one of the scariest things known to television?"
"Old newscasters," Ziva began.
"Bad movie commercials," Tony butted in.
"Vince Shlomi," McGee said.
"A sell-out," Gibbs reasoned.
"Very good Gibbs," Abby said encouragingly. "Then I thought to myself 'Where can one find the biggest sell-outs?' And I found the answer to be very obvious." Abby paused for effect before putting on a quiet, creepy voice. "...The Disney channel. And I also realised that NCIS has a very good trio in our midst," Abby said ceremoniously, gesturing towards Gibbs, McGee and DiNozzo, "that could very well become for Hallowe'en another, more famous, male trio: THE JONAS BROTHERS!"
The reaction was immediate. McGee rejected the idea wholeheartedly and loudly. Tony couldn't help but laugh. "Who are the Jonas Brothers?" Gibbs asked. Ziva was having some difficulty in keeping a straight face and let out a few giggles before smiling at the scene before her.
Abby looked at the three men in her life with a slightly disappointed face. Seeing this, McGee and DiNozzo went silent.
"We're sorry, Abby," McGee began. "But doesn't that plan seem a little...far-fetched? I mean, none of us bear much resemblance with the Jonas Brothers." Tony snickered in the background.
"Though resemblance with the subject hasn't stopped many people before," Gibbs said.
"Does that mean you'll do it, Gibbs?" Abby said with hope all over her face.
Gibbs said nothing, but walked over and planted a kiss on Abby's cheek before exiting quickly through the door to the elevator.
"Just because Gibbs is dressing up doesn't mean we have to," McGee said sulkily.
"But Gibbs dressing up?" Tony joked. "I'd put on a sweater vest and skinny jeans if it meant seeing Gibbs dress up like a Jonas brother."
McGee paused sulkily. "What about Ziva? Why doesn't she have to dress up?"
"Actually, I already talked to Ziva," Abby said jauntily. "We're going to be Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato."
"And you agreed to this?" Tony asked incredulously.
"Not only that," Ziva replied calmly. "I thought up the idea myself."
Tony choked. Then sputtered. And chuckled. And roared his familiar mocking laugh. "Y-you thought of that-"
"Don't forget to breathe, Tony," Abby reminded the hysterical Special Agent.
.:. :.: .:.
I don't want to be here, Tim thought as he stared up at the red lettering on the sign outside the store. I really don't want to be here.
The tenor of his thoughts must have been portrayed on his face, because Abby said "Don't worry McGee. I shop here all the time." Looking at her, McGee saw she had a gigantic smile on her face. "This will be fun, I promise you," Abby said, looking Tim's eyes with sincerity.
Bracing himself for something disastrous, Tim stepped inside the Hot Topic doors. Nothing happened. The world as he knew it did not end. Tim breathed a sigh of relief.
He then bothered to look around at his surroundings. The walls were a shade of red, with clothes in a variety of sizes and repair hanging on them. The girl behind the cash register had purple and blue hair. She was glaring at him. Tim almost turned on his heel and walked out, but the unstoppable force of energy that he knew as Abby brought him to a halt. She grabbed him by the elbow and began to drag him over to the racks that held the jeans. "Hey, Julia," she said passively to the cashier, who nodded. "I think she likes you, Timmy," Abby commented when they stopped at the wall of jeans. Tim was stunned from the abrupt drop into the Hot Topic atmosphere, and didn't have the sense yet to formulate a response before Abby grabbed a handful of skinny jeans and said "Try these on" before pushing the silent geek in the direction of the dressing rooms.
After ten minutes, McGee had not reappeared, so Abby decided to check on him. "How's it going, McGee?" she asked the door of the change room her fellow co-worker was in.
"Um..." said McGee, "...I only need the one pair of jeans, right?"
"Well, yeah," Abby replied. "Unless there's another pair that looks really good on you and then-"
Tim didn't let her finish. "No, that's okay, Abby," he said, stepping out of the change room, back in his normal work clothes. "Let's just buy the jeans and go."
.:. :.: .:.
Abby and Ziva walked in the bullpen together the next day. They both were wearing slightly preppier clothes than normal. Abby was much shorter without her platform boots, and with much lighter makeup. Ziva was a bit taller in short heels, and wearing much more makeup than was normal for her.
It at first appeared that Tony, McGee and Gibbs had not yet arrived, but Abby noticed that Gibbs' coat had been left on his chair. So Abby sat herself down behind McGee's desk to wait while Ziva sat behind her own desk and turned on her computer.
Just as Ziva's desktop icons had all appeared, Gibbs, Tony and McGee entered the bullpen from the direction of the washrooms. Gibb's hair had been dyed black, as had McGee's. Tony's had been left its original colour, but had been curled. The trio all wore almost matching outfits of crisp, dress shirts, argyle sweater vests, ties, and skinny jeans. Gibbs wore a pinstripe fedora.
Tony glared at McGee. "Why do I have to be Nick? I wanted to be Kevin."
"Sorry, Tony," McGee said, almost smugly. "You pulled the short straw."
"You cheated," Tony muttered.
Gibbs walked over, wearing the sweater vest like he owned it – which he did – and slapped Tony on the back of the head. He walked back to his desk and sat down.
Abby jumped out of McGee's chair. "Time for pictures!" she said enthused, pulling her digital camera out of her pocket.
There was a cry of "NO!" from McGee and DiNozzo, but Gibbs didn't bother to go against Abby's wishes. He smacked both Tony and McGee on the backs of their heads.
"Wow, two Gibbsmacks in one day," Tony commented.
"Don't make it three," his boss threatened.
"Okay," said Abby, grinning. "Now three...two...one...smile!"
They did. After three pictures, Tony let his face fall back to a relaxed position instead of the toothy smile. "That picture had better not end up anywhere near the Internet."
"Tony! I thought you trusted me more than that," Abby said, mock horror painting her face. Ziva laughed, bringing Tony's attention to her.
"Lookin' good, Zeevah."
"Right, fun's over, back to work," Gibbs ordered.
The rest of the team rushed to their desks.
.:. :.: .:.
Again, the team worked fairly silently for the better part of the morning the real catastrophe came just after lunch.
McGee dropped his pencil.
Such an ordinary example of the workings of gravity. Such a huge embarrassment.
McGee knew in his heart of hearts than skinny jeans were not for him. He could feel that an excellent model of simple physics would be shown if he bent over to get than pencil. He froze, staring at the fusion of graphite and wood on the floor.
Tony looked over at the team's resident geek. "I'm sure you can pick up that pencil, McGee. Surely it isn't that hard a concept to grasp."
"It's not that easy, Tony," McGee said, a strained tone in his voice.
"Yeah, it is, just follow me," Tony said standing up. "Stand up."
Tim stood.
"Good. Now touch your nose."
"Tony, this is stupid. I have other pencils."
"Do it, probie!"
Tim sighed and touched his nose.
"Good. Now bend over and pick up the pencil."
"Tony, it's not a good idea."
"Do it. Pick up the pencil."
"Tony, I can't."
"Yes you can."
"No, I can't."
"Why not, McWimpy?'
"I just can't, okay!"
"Do it! Pick up that pencil!"
McGee sighed again. "My pants are going to rip if I do, Tony," he stage whispered.
"No they won't. I'm wearing skinny jeans, too. I can pick up a pencil," Tony said, dropping a pen and picking it up again, "and so can you."
Tim had another staring match with the pencil. Well, the jeans were a bit stretchy. Why not pick up that pencil.
And so, Tim bent over, grasped the pencil, and stood up straight again. The jeans remained intact.
"See. I told you," said Tony.
Tim breathed a sigh of relief. He began to sit back down in his chair.
Physics won. Fibres were severed with a horrid, wrenching, ripping sound.
Tim's face went bright red before Tony began to laugh.
.:. :.: .:.
"Oh, McGee, I'm so sorry!" Abby exclaimed as he walked into her lab wearing a pair of extra work pants, carrying the ripped jeans in one hand. "I should have seen them on you when you were trying them on to make sure the were the right size," she added as she gave her favourite geek a big hug.
"Just never make me wear these things again, okay?" Tim said.
"Honestly, Timmy, I don't think anyone will be able to wear these again," Abby said, taking the jeans and holding them up.
McGee smiled despite himself. Abby had a talent for making him smile.
Tim's thoughts were broken by the ringing of his cell phone. "McGee."
"Vance wants to talk to us," Tony's voice floated through the phone earpiece.
.:. :.: .:.
"I can't believe he banned Hallowe'en costumes," Abby whined again as she stomped to the elevator.
"It only makes sense," McGee said, trying to calm Abby down. It was probably a lost cause, though. Once Abby got worked up...
While Abby was quiet for the rest of the day, McGee could tell she was angrily sulking. So, in an effort to cheer her up, McGee decided to visit the usually cheerful goth.
When he walked through the doors of the lab that were always open, the computer expert saw that while Abby had changed into her normal clothes, she had kept the floppy knit beret.
"Hey, Abby," McGee said cautiously to Abby's back. "I've brought Caf-Pow."
Abby turned around quickly, grabbed the plastic cup and turned back again to the computer. "Why does he have to do this? Ruin the Hallowe'en spirit?"
"Because he's Vance," McGee answered.
"The question was rhetorical!"
McGee sat down in one of the swivel chairs in silence. He waited a few minutes before saying "The kids will be out soon, Trick or Treating."
Abby stopped typing. Tim could tell she was listening.
"I don't get many kids around my apartment. Could I help you hand out candy?"
Abby half-turned to her favourite geek. She smiled. "I think that's going to be great fun, Timmy."
A/N: I do not think of this as a great piece of work. I think if this as a sort of work-in-progress that will never, ever be completed, as are most of my one-shots.
This idea stemmed out of something Abby said in the episode that aired two weeks ago, how Hallowe'en costumes were banned from NCIS because of McGee in skinny jeans as a Jonas Brother, I think.
Again, I say, this is not finished. I might add on a bit more of an ending later.
