All right, peeps. Back with another story. I got this idea after reading an old story off my old profile.
Its called Brock's Diary, and while it was pretty...odd, and not all that hilarious, it gave me the idea to carry it over into this profile.
But with Hetalia.
Yeah...
So, in this story, its America writing in his journal. Just some senseless drabble. Because, let's be honest. Not much goes through his head in the show, and he's got some major ADD going on.
So, I wanted to reflect that in here.
Anyway, enough chatter, right? I'll let you give it a read! And I REALLY hope you enjoy! I kinda got away from the comedy stories, and I wanted to do another one.
Disclaimer-I OWN NOTHING, HEATHENS!
...
So, I totally know this is all weird, and, totally not my style and whatnot...but I've decided to start keeping a journal. JOURNAL! Not a diary like England calls it. That tea sipping asshole can suck my nuts, dudes. For real.
Anyways, so, I wanted to confess something to you...Bill...YES! I named my JOURNAL, BILL! Like, from True Blood. You know, that super, ultra, cool vampire that gets all the hot chicks. Man...I want side burns like that...
Oh, right! I was telling a story. I almost forgot! So...I know this is gonna sound, like totally weird...but I tried on a dress...heh heh...yeah. A dress.
DON'T LAUGH! France was telling me at the last World Meeting that he would try on dresses, because he has a totally awesome figure, or whatever. So, I was all like, "Dude! You try on dresses? What the hell, man?" And he was all like, "You should try it. It makes you feel fancy." Or some bullshit...And I was all like, "You mean...Francy?" And he was all like - =O
Apparently, dude can't take a joke...
Sooo...I was bored the other day, and I decided that was the day, right? So I put this yellow sundress on that I bought from Target. And it like, totally fit me. YEAH! I was shocked, too!
Now, here's where things get a little awkward, k? Tony walked in and saw me as I was checking out my own ass. MY ASS FOR GOD'S SAKE! Can you say, "never living that down"? He's still laughing about it.
...No. I'm serious. He's totally sitting outside my room, laughing. I can hear him. And I thought we were besties, man! Now who am I supposed to hang out with? England says he's too...sophisticated for me...whatever the hell that means. Like I'd want to hang out with that stick in the mud. Haha...stick in the mud...I'm so funny...
And I won't hang out with France. Dude wants on me. Like, for reals, yo. And don't even act like I'm being all conceited, and whatnot. That freak totally grabbed my ass at one of the meetings. Last time I sat next to that perv!
Germany scares the shit out of me. Like, how can I be friends with somebody, if I'm afraid I'm gonna piss my pants all the time? I CAN'T RUIN ANOTHER PAIR OF PANTS LIKE THAT, GUYS! I just can't!
Italy doesn't go anywhere without Germany, so that's out of the question...
And, Japan's already told me I'm too "eccentric" for him. And guys, let me tell you...I had no idea what that word meant. So, I totally looked it up...IN THE DICTIONARY! Yeah! I was proud of myself, too! It means something like, too energetic, or some shit. I got bored halfway through reading...
And, I've already tried hanging out with Prussia. All he does is talk about how awesome he is. Its like, dude. No you're not. You're not even on the frigging map anymore! SUCK THAT, PRUSSIA! At least I'm still on the globe!
...Yeah...even I thought that was mean. Don't judge me, Bill. He told me I wasn't a hero. All because I didn't wear a cape, or a mask. I KNOW! Can you believe that?
ANYWAY! So, I decided to hang out with Greece yesterday. That guy totally loves cats. I thought for a minute, he'd like...try to have sex with one. It was so weird the way he stared unblinking at this one. Yeah, they're cute and all, but I wouldn't wanna have relations with one. People go to jail for that. LOOK IT UP!
And Greece totally asked me to scratch his belly. Who the fuck says something like that? Its just not natural!
So, here I sit...talking to you, Bill...But don't get me wrong! You're totally cool, and stuff! But, you don't talk back to me!
Oh shit! Anyway, its time for my late night snack! I'll be back, little buddy!
P.S...After reading through this...I'm not really sure why I called you guys...OH WELL! BURGER TIME!
...
Oh yeah...messed up, right? But its gotta be random! It IS America.
Anyway, let me know what you think! I'd love some comments, since I'm pretty rusty on the funny stories!
Who knows? I might throw in a diary from another Hetalia character!
America-ITS A JOURNAL! A JOURNAL NAMED BILL!
Jessicat1989-Yeah yeah...whatevs, dude. Just got put your dress back on.
=P
