The front door of the old mansion in Kirkwall opened with a loud slam as two armored individuals dragged a small figure to a single chair in front of the fire. They sat the figure down and hastily left the room.

The dwarf looked around dazed. The entire room was completely dark, save from the light coming from the lit fireplace. To its side, with her back to him, stood a tall woman in dark armor, with a large white eye emblazoned on both the front and back.

"Varric Tethras." The leather-clad dwarf grunted and shifter in his seat. "You have come."

"Far be it from me to refuse such a politely worded invitation, Seeker." The woman turned, showing a beautiful if boyish face with short black hair. "Now if only you would tell me why it is that I am here."

"Where is the Champion?"

"Ah. Well, I am afraid that, even if I wanted to tell you, I couldn't. I don't even know myself."

"Fool." She snapped at him. "We know you were a close friend to her. Tell us where she is."

"Her?" Varric raised an eyebrow. "This is about Marion? I thought you would be after the eldest Hawke."

"Naruto? The blonde one?"

"The same."

"Why would you assume that?"

"Eh." The dwarf shrugged. "You have this Templar-Mage war to contend with."

"Which your friend started."

"Oh hardly, Seeker." Now Varric was starting to enjoy this so-called 'interrogation'. "There were… extenuating circumstances."

"What circumstances then? Tell me."

"What do you wish to know?"

"Everything."

"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow. "Very well then, let us start… at the beginning."

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Four humanoid figures could be seen running away from Lothering as the sounds of battle trailed behind them.

At the rear was a tall young man of barely twenty, with short black hair and a very large sword grasped in his hands. In front of him was a girl, around the same age and height, her long black hair free to fall around her head. She held a golden staff clenched in her hands. Next was a taller woman, looking to be no older than twenty-five, with shortly cut black hair and a red smear over her nose, a heather shield on her back and a longsword tied to her hip.

"Sister." The younger girl cried to the older. "They are coming. Should I hold them?" The older woman nodded and, with a simple wave of her hands a wall of fire erupted behind the four.

"Excellent magic there, Bethy." The boy muttered.

"I told you not to call me that, Carvy." He frowned at his twin.

"Children!" A strong male voice called from the front.

This figure was the tallest, and the oldest. He appeared to be nearing his late-thirties and, unlike the others, had blonde hair that framed his head in spikes. He had three whisker marks on each cheek, partially hidden by the goatee that covered most of his face. "Focus, please. Carver, stop picking on Bethany."

"Yes brother." The man nodded and turned, drawing a curious staff from his back. It was about as long as he was, made from a twisting branch which held a large ruby at the top. About three quarters down, however, the branch turned into a blade.

"We have to hurry. There's a clearing ahead, we'll regroup there."

They ran forward and got to the clearing. There were three narrow roads off it, counting the one they had used to get there. All were occupied by numerous darkspawn.

"Excellent. More of them."

"Yes." The elder sister spoke, a half-amused half-exasperated look on her face. "Maybe if we continue killing them, they'll eventually run out of darkspawn." Her brother grinned and nodded to Carver.

The boy took the large sword from his back, charging at the group of five monsters in front of them. He hit one with his shoulder, causing it to stumble back, giving his the opening he needed to remove its head from the rest of its body. One more swipe dealt with another two creatures, while a quick pommel strike followed by a large arc finished the job.

"There. No magic needed."

"Don't get cocky little brother." The blonde rumbled, his cerulean gaze fixed on the approaching horde. "There's still more creatures to fight."

"Let them come."

"Carver and Bethany, focus on this path." The blonde motioned to the closest pathway. "Marian, we're over there."

"As you wish, dear brother." He shook his head and thrust his staff in front of him. A large ball of fire shot out, impacting the middle in a group of darkspawn, roasting them all instantly. Beside him his sister bashed two with her shield and decapitated them, tripping another and impaling him when he fell down.

Minutes had passed and the four siblings killed numerous darkspawn, but there was no end to the horde.

Marian stumbled to her knees in front of one of the creatures, tired by the constant battle. Before the creature could exploit this, however, a bolt of lightning flew at it and burned a hole in its chest. The blonde mage came to the downed woman, offering a hand.

"They just keep coming."

"They are the evil horde. They're supposed to." Naruto muttered, sighing. "This is the part of the story where the dashing hero and his sidekicks get their asses pulled out of the fire." He looked at the sky. "Still nothing?"

"Brother…"

"Yes?"

"They have an ogre."

"What?" He turned, eyes widening as he saw the gigantic monster rushing at Carver. "Not on my watch you piece of shit." The blonde set a force blast at his younger brother, knocking him out of the way, and charged the ogre.

The beast shrieked when the blade of his staff cut into part of its stomach, but managed to compose himself, swatting him back. Naruto landed on his feet, just barely, and managed to dodge its charge, just as barely.

Marian and Bethany were helping their brother up, and watching out for the other darkspawn, so they had missed it, but somehow in the span of five minutes their eldest brother had managed to kill the ogre. They turned around to the shrieks and growls to find him sitting victoriously on its chest, his staff imbedded in its heart.

"Souvenir, anyone?" Marian's hand immediately shot up, much to the amusement of one of her brothers and chagrin of the other.

Naruto jumped down from the ogre, pulling his staff along with him, and joined his siblings in a battle stance. They were surrounded now, even the passage they'd used to get there was overrun. There was no hope for them.

No hope, but the shadow that quickly descended to the ground.

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"Wait, stop!"

"What?" The dwarf shrugged innocently at the Seeker's hard gaze. "Does that not match the accounts you've heard, Seeker?"

"You're telling me a fairytale came down from the heavens and saved them."

"More or less. What do you want from me?"

"I want the truth, Varric."

"I am tempted to say you couldn't handle it, if only just to see the expression on your face." He could swear she growled at him as her eyes darkened. "And there it is."

"The truth."

"Oh very well. Spoil my fun, why don't you." The dwarf sighed. "Prepare to hear the greatest tale since the Epic of the latest Blight. Our main characters will be Marian Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall. Her older brother will, as always, be there to try and watch over her, not always succeeding. Yours truly will be appearing, of course, and we have a special place for Knight-Commander Meredith as well."

"Meredith?"

"Oh yes. But not in the way you think. Tell me, Seeker, do you know why she is not the leader of the Kirkwall Templars anymore."

"I hadn't known she wasn't."

"Then join me on an epic tale of adventure, forbidden romance, and the machinations of one man to save his family in…"

"Varric."

"Hm?"

"Get on with it, already."

"Fine." The dwarf sighed, getting comfortable.

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I wanted to make the number of my stories more manageable, so 55 will have to do for now. I will be taking down 'Naruto the Pokémon Master' and 'The Ninja Dragon Master' soon enough for rewrite, but will be replacing them with something new.