Blue Christmas
By: Starfire-Hime
Cute little Christmas fic, hope you all enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, it's characters, or the song "Blue Christmas" by Elvis Presley
Kurt hated goodbyes. He had never been good with them. Goodbyes always seemed so final, like you were never going to see that person again. It reminded Kurt of French. People who clearly didn't know the language and didn't know there were two ways to say goodbye were always stupidly spouting "Adieu! Adieu! Part is such sweet sorrow!" to people they were probably going to see again within the next couple hours or days. Kurt would always roll his eyes because they didn't know 'adieu' was what you say when you weren't going to be seeing that person for a long time, for months or years, or even never again. Au Revoir was the correct goodbye for seeing someone later that week or even the next day; They were totally different. Which is why Kurt hated the finality of goodbyes. It was like saying "Say it now, because I'm never going to see you again." "See you laters" worked just as well, right? They were the au revoir's of the English language, right? But Kurt knew he had to say goodbye. He knew because the person he had to say it to was going to be gone for two months. Blaine. Blaine was leaving school a whole five days early; Apparently, his family was heading to Ireland for Christmas, to see his Dad's side of the family, and he was heading out in twenty minutes to catch his flight, which is why Kurt was standing outside of Blaine's dorm-room door, hand positioned up to knock, lamenting on his hate for goodbyes.
*Okay, just go in there and say, "See you later, Blaine! Eat some Irish potatoes for me so I can watch my carb intake!" Wait, no, that sounds stupid. Uggh! This sucks!* Kurt thought as he let his head bang on the door.
"Hello?" Blaine called from inside the room.
*SHIT!* Kurt cussed inwardly. He was not ready for this. He was not ready to say goodbye or even see you later. But now he had to, and the pit in his stomach grew worse as he called out, "Blaine? It's Kurt," through the door.
Kurt heard Blaine's footsteps rush to the door as he threw it open and beamed, "Kurt! I thought I wasn't going to get a chance to say goodbye! Aren't you supposed to be in class? I don't want you to get in trouble just because you came to say goodbye to me."
"Yeah, I'm playing hooky right now. And it's okay. I already turned my final paper in to Professor Kaplan anyway," Kurt said, smiling as he took in Blaine's casual outfit of relaxed dark-wash jeans, red converse, and his blue Dalton hoodie. Kurt also noted that his hair was extremely sexy un-gelled and curly like it was now. Blaine moved to the side and Kurt stepped into the room as he closed the door behind him.
"A whole five days early? Showoff," Blaine smirked, as he unhooked his laptop from its charger and stowed both items into the dufflebag on his bed. The rest of Blaine's clothing and personal items had been taken back to his house the other day by his family's personal driver.
"What time are you landing in Dublin?" Kurt asked, as Blaine walked into the bathroom to retrieve his toiletries.
"8:50 AM tomorrow, which means I have to sleep on the plane, and I hate sleeping on planes," Blaine grimaced, packing away his toothpaste and toothbrush.
"Well, I want you to call me so I know you landed," Kurt said, walking over and sitting crossed legged in Blaine's desk chair.
"Call you? It'll be almost 4 AM! And I know first hand how crabby you get being woken up before 8 AM," Blaine teased.
"I'm serious. I probably won't sleep a wink until I hear from you anyway-" *Dammit!* Kurt cut himself off as Blaine looked at him. *Oh no, do NOT go there, Kurt. Yes you love him and have a crush the size of Texas on Blaine, but do not give any hints that you do fifteen minutes before he leaves for two months! Especially since he doesn't even like you back*
"You'd give up precious sleep for little ol' me? Why Kurt Hummel, I'm so honored!" Blaine said dramatically, putting his hands on his heart.
Kurt smiled but rolled his eyes at Blaine, "Yes, consider yourself very honored that I like you enough-as a friend, to be willing to get dark circles for you," Kurt said wryly, "But still be prepared for an angry text when I see my eyes the next day. I also better be getting a kickass Christmas present when you get back," he said.
"Hahaha, yes, of course," Blaine chuckled, walking over to his nightstand, opening it's little drawer and pulling out a wrapped Christmas present. "And, just in case you're still actually mad once my text back begs for forgiveness, here is an early Christmas present." he said handing it to Kurt.
Kurt took it and turned it over in his hand. The gift was wrapped in green velvet-embossed wrapping paper and the tag at the top next to the beautiful and intricate red mesh bow read 'To - Kurt, Always - Blaine.' "I-I-No, I can't accept this. I didn't bring your gift-I don't want us to be uneven," Kurt sputtered.
Blaine smirked, "Kurt, don't worry. I want you to have this now, before I go. I'll get whatever you have for me later," Blaine said, "Just do me a favor and don't open it until you're alone."
Kurt tore his eyes away from the present in his hands to look at Blaine, who was staring at Kurt with a slight longing smile in his eye. Kurt wondered what he meant by that but waved it off for now. "Okay, I promise," he said, clutching his gift to his chest.
All of a sudden, a car honked just outside Blaine's window. Blaine walked to the window, looked outside and then checked his watch, "Ugh, he's five minutes early," he said as he motioned at his driver that he would be right down. Blaine turned back to Kurt, a somber look in his eyes, "So, I guess this is goodbye."
Kurt felt like crying. He sighed inwardly as his heart sank to his stomach, he shook his head, "No, don't say goodbye. I can't handle goodbyes. Let's just say 'see you later,' okay?"
Blaine smiled, "Of course. Kurt, see you soon," Blaine said, crossing the room and enveloping the younger boy into a hug, squeezing him hard.
Kurt couldn't hold it in anymore and a few tears escaped his eyes as he squeezed Blaine back. *Great, just great, I'm finally in his arms and he's leaving for two months. I hate my life* he thought as they held each other and he tried desperately to imprint the memory of being in Blaine's arms into his brain as Blaine pulled away and grabbed his dufflebag. Kurt wiped his tears away and walked with Blaine out of his room, down the hall and stairs of the junior dormitories and out to the where his driver was parked. As they reached the car and Blaine put his dufflebag in the backseat, turned to Kurt and said, "I'm really going to miss you, Kurt."
"I'm really going to miss you too, Blaine," he said, holding back a sniffle.
"Wes and David said they're going to keep you company for the next few days. If they annoy you, text me and I'll make them stop," Blaine told him as he closed the backseat door and opened the passenger seat to the car.
Kurt laughed lightly, "Blaine, I'm a big boy, I can handle myself around those two. Plus, I'll probably be busy studying for my last final and packing to go home anyway."
Blaine smiled and squeezed Kurt's shoulder, "I'll call you the moment we're taxi-ing at the airport in Dublin." he said.
"You better," Kurt said, as Blaine gave him another quick hug and got into the passenger seat of the car.
"See you soon," Blaine told him again.
"See you soon," Kurt agreed, shutting the door to the car and giving Blaine one more smile as the car drove out of the student parking lot and off of the campus.
Kurt could literally hear his heart breaking in his chest. Tears started welling in his eyes. making him lose his vision. Two whole months without Blaine. Two whole months without the person who had made one of the biggest impacts in his life. Kurt knew two months wasn't forever and they didn't technically say goodbye, and of course they'd call, text, skype when they could, but it still felt awful knowing that the boy he loved wasn't going to be a five minute walk or a seat away. As Kurt wiped the tears from his eyes, he noticed that he was still holding Blaine's present. He looked back at the tag that read 'To - Kurt, Always - Blaine' and remembered he said to open it when he was alone. Kurt ran as fast as his legs could carry him back to the sophomore dorms, to his dorm room and threw his door open. He flew to his bed, sat down and looked at the present again. He went to the corners and tore the paper off carefully. Yeah, it was just wrapping paper but it was still something Blaine had taken the time to wrap especially for him. As the corners gave way, Kurt reached in and shimmied at jewel case out of the paper. The front of the case was blank except for the words 'Play me!' written big in blue sharpie on a piece of white paper in the CD jacket slot. Kurt jumped off his bed, wretched his laptop open and put the CD in the CD tray. The CD loaded and a video screen popped up. Kurt maneuvered and sat in his desk chair without taking his eyes off the screen. As the video loaded and Kurt hit play, Blaine showed up on the screen in the same outfit Kurt had just seen him in, minus the shoes, sitting crossed-legged on his bed, his acoustic guitar in his hands.
"Hey Kurt! Um, Blaine here, well, you know that, but, um, so, If you're watching this, I'm pretty sure I just left for the airport and you ran straight back to your room to open the present, admit it," Blaine on the screen told him, Kurt blushed, "And you probably just blushed too," video Blaine said, smiling smugly at him. *Holy Shit, he's good* Kurt thought, propping his arms up on the desk and setting his head in his hands, "So, um, you're probably wondering why I made you this video, and, um...I, um," Video Blaine was now blushing himself and running his hands through his ungelled, curly hair, "Well, I needed to tell you something, and I know I'm an idiot for not telling you in person and then leaving for two months, and trust me, I wanted to tell you, in person, trust me I did, but I don't know, I couldn't," Video Blaine flushed a deeper red and Kurt felt his own cheeks go hot as well, "And well, um, here's this song. It's for you," Video Blaine said, as if he just remembered he was holding the guitar and looked right into the camera, right into Kurt's eyes, and he began to strum away.
I`ll have a blue Christmas without you
I`ll be so blue just thinking about you
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree
Won`t be the same dear, if you`re not here with me
And when those blue snowflakes start falling
That`s when those blue memories start calling
You`ll be doin` all right, with your Christmas of white
But I`ll have a blue, blue blue blue Christmas
Kurt couldn't believe what he was hearing. Blaine's dreamy and silken voice warbled exactly like Elvis's as he played the song into the camera, but it was so different. Elvis's version was nowhere near as passionate and heartfelt as Blaine's sounded and there was no way The King's version made Kurt feel the way he did now. As Blaine strummed his guitar for the instrumental break, his eyes never left the camera, and consequently, Kurt's own eyes. Kurt's lips cracked into a goofy smile at the same time Blaine's did, as he finished off the song,
You`ll be doin` all right, with your Christmas of white,
But I`ll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas
As he strummed the last few bars of the song and set his guitar down next to him, Blaine in the video chuckled nervously, running his hand through his hair again. "Um, so, yeah. . . . ." he was blushing again, "I wanted to tell you that before I left, but I don't know, I guess I'm a coward, and I couldn't, and I know I suck, and I'm really sorry, I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am, but I guess, what I'm trying to say is. . . ." Blaine looked back right into the camera, right into Kurt's eyes, "Kurt, I really like you. Well, no, I love you. Not like a friend, but like, how a boy loves another boy, well, in our case anyway, and I know I'm supposed to be your friend and mentor, and not cross that boundary, but I can't help myself, and there have been so many times I wanted to tell you but couldn't, and Wes and David said if I bugged them anymore telling them how much I loved you, they were going to tell you themselves, and I didn't want that, so I made this video to tell you, and I don't even know if you feel anything back for me, but I had to tell you somehow before I left. . . . . ." Blaine rambled, "So, here we are. Look, I don't want to pressure you into anything you don't want to feel or do, I would never want that, considering your history with that, but I just wanted you to know how I feel, and I guess, when you're ready, I'll be awaiting your call, text, e-mail, Owl, smoke signals, whatever. Okay, Merry Christmas, Kurt. See you soon," Blaine said into the camera, still blushing slightly and smiling goofily, and he reached up and tuned the camera off, ending the video.
Kurt stared at the screen. He knew that the video was over and he was just staring at the laptop wallpaper of him, Wes, David and Blaine that he had been taken on his second day at Dalton, but his eyes weren't focusing anymore. Everything seemed to turn hazy and run together as phrases from Blaine's words reverberated through his head 'I needed to tell you something. . . here's this song. It's for you. . . I`ll be so blue just thinking about you. . .I really like you. Well, no, I love you. . . . I don't even know if you feel anything back for me. . .' Kurt couldn't believe all of what he had just heard. Blaine loved him. Blaine LOVED him. And it wasn't like 'Oh, yeah, you're my friend, I love you, friend' but it was a 'I love you and want to be with you' type of love. Out of nowhere, Kurt made little screamy giggles and he jostled about in his chair. If anyone were to see him right now, they probably would have thought he looked like a complete lunatic, but he didn't care. He got up from his chair and made a flying leap for his bed, landing and flailing about. Kurt had never felt like this, he was on Cloud 9. He wanted to run a marathon, he wanted to throw a stack of paper as high as he could into the air, he wanted to jump up and down for an hour straight, he wanted to scream 'HE LOVES ME!' until he was hoarse for days. The boy he loved had just told him he loved him back. Well, he told him in a video, but he told him all the same. Kurt grabbed his pillow and hugged the life out of it (assuming if it had one hug out) before settling, a little exhausted, on his now extremely mussed-up comforter. He needed to talk to Blaine, he needed to tell him he loved him back. He jumped off his bed like a shot, grabbed his phone that had been left next to the computer, dived back onto his bed and punched at his iPhone's touchscreen until he found his way to his recent calls and hit Blaine's name. He held his phone to his ear as the phone rang in his ear. Kurt could feel his heartbeat thud all the way up into his head as looked at the clock on his nightstand and prayed that Blaine wasn't in the air yet and unable to answer his phone. The phone had rung five times and Kurt felt his heart start to sink as Blaine's voice mail kicked on. Kurt was about to open his mouth and leave a message for Blaine to call him the second her heard the message when Kurt heard his phone beep in his ear. He moved the phone from his ear and looked at the screen.
Blaine
Ignore
Hold call + answer
End call + answer
Kurt hit end call + answer and held his phone back to his ear.
"Kurt?" Blaine's voice came through from the other line.
"Blaine!" Kurt said.
"Hey, I was about to turn my phone off because we're getting ready to take off soo-" Blaine laughed but was cut off.
"I watched the video," Kurt blurted out.
". . . . . . . . Ah. . . . . . . . . .and?" Blaine asked.
"I . . . .well . . I mean . . ." Kurt babbled. The second he had unlocked his phone to call Blaine, he had thought of all this wonderful stuff to say to him, like, 'Blaine, I have loved you from the moment I saw you. From the moment you wrapped your strong, calloused hands around mine and pulled me through that hallway, my heart has belonged to you. I swear upon the grave of Coco Chanel an Gianni Versace that I will love you unconditionally and completely until forever ends' but, naturally, all that Kurt could manage was a string of incoherent babbles.
"Kurt," Blaine's voice said, low and little somber, shutting him up, "It's-it's okay. I understand. Like I said, I didn't want to pressure you into anything. If you don't feel the same, that's fine, I won't be mad-"
"Blaine, I love you too," Kurt rushed out, silencing the boy on the other line.
". . . Wait, what?"
"I fell in love with you the day I met you. I thought you would never love me back because of what happened with Karofsky, because it must have broken me somehow and made me defective and that you thought I was nothing more than this little child that needed protecting and that's why you became my friend, and I thought that no one as gorgeous and wonderful and amazing as you would ever like me back," Kurt confessed all in one breath as his voice broke, "But then I watched your video and you said all those things that I was feeling for you and . . . . . ."
"And here we are," Blaine laughed lightly.
"Here we are," Kurt mimed.
"Well, my timing sucks," Blaine smiled wryly.
"No, mine too. At least you said something. I thought I'd carry that secret to the grave," Kurt said, "I can't believe it took us seperating for us to admit our feelings," Kurt said, "Two months is going to feel like a lifetime."
"I'll come back early," Blaine said suddenly.
"What? No, Blaine, you're going to Ireland to visit family, I don't want to be selfish and take you away from that," Kurt told him.
"Kurt, we just confessed that we love each other. If I could, I'd walk off this plane right now and come back to you. I'll spend Christmas there and then fly back on the 30th, that way we can at least spend New Year's together," Blaine said, "I think once I tell my family it's in the name of love, they'll beg me to go back early."
Kurt smiled, "You really love me?"
"With all my heart. You really love me?"
"More than you could possibly ever know," Kurt said. There was a pause and Kurt could swear he could hear Blaine's smile from the other end.
"Kurt, I have to go, the stewardesses are glaring daggers at me to get off the phone. I'll call you when I land." Blaine said.
"Looking forward to it. I love you,"
"I love you. See you soon,"
"See you soon."
Kurt hung up and pulled his phone to his chest as he felt like every happy emotion ever felt by mankind ran through him. He was in love with the most perfect, beautiful man in the universe and he loved Kurt back. Life finally did not suck. His phone beeped with a new text and Kurt brought his phone eye level.
Blaine
You are beautiful and amazing
and I cannot believe you love me.
Kurt texted back.
Kurt
I was just thinking the same thing about you.
Don't fall in love with any cute Irish boys while
you're there.
Kurt's phone beeped back.
Blaine
Of course not. Though I can't promise the same thing
if and when goats are involved. . .
Kurt
:p
Blaine
Also, that kickass Christmas present I'm supposed to bring back,
will kissing you senseless the second I get back back suffice?
Kurt
Um, hell yes! Love you
Blaine
Love you
Kurt looked at the calender on his wall. The 30th was two and a half weeks away, he could handle that. He looked back at the little text conversation he and Blaine just had and smiled. Blaine loved him back, life was beautiful. His and Blaine's Christmas's might be blue, but the new year would be every color of wonderful.
