"More champagne anyone? Ken?"
"Yes please!"
"Aya?"
"Alright then."
"Shouldn't we save some for actual midnight Youji?"
"Shouldn't you stop drinking it, little Omi? You're too young to be drinking, and that way, we'll have some left at twelve!"
It was New Year's eve, and at Youji's suggestion they'd agreed to spend it together this year, have a little party just for the four of them. That suited Omi just fine, although he hoped that Youji, who may or may not have gone a little overboard with the champagne-buying, wasn't going to start teasing him about being so young.
Not that he minded really - he was the youngest. Although not by much. And the smallest. Okay by quite a way. And the cutest, definitely the cutest - just a shame, he mused, he was the wrong kind of cute. He so desperately wanted to be the right kind of cute, the attractive kind of cute, the sexy kind of cute, the kind of cute that would make Ken notice him…
And that was where the problem lay. He didn't mind if Aya made him feel young, or if Youji made a big thing of it – but when it was in front of Ken it just seemed to remind him, and Ken, that he, Omi, was just not the kind of person you could be interested in.
Sighing, he accepted a top-up of his champagne glass from Youji, and pushed all of those thoughts from his head. He was used to having them and ignoring them, and he didn't need to sit around pitying himself tonight of all nights.
Ken kept throwing him bright smiles that he had to remind himself were not especially for him, but because he was enjoying himself. Even Aya seemed to be having fun, although who could tell. The slight depression remained with Omi, though, as he sipped at his drink and watched his friends. It was new year, and here they were, relaxing, drinking, laughing, even trying to dance, celebrating…celebrating what? A new chance, a new beginning. A new year, and getting through the old one. Friends around and the wonderful state of mind of going into a new year – and it all seemed to mean so little, although he couldn't say exactly why.
He sat himself down against a wall, knowing they'd notice straight away that he wasn't really getting into the spirit of things but not really in the mood to pretend to be happy.
"Hey Omi, you're quiet! Cheer up, it's a celebration!!"
Youji had noticed already, and attempted to remedy the situation by filling up again the glass he hadn't notice he'd finished already.
"There's not much to celebrate, don't you think?" Omi replied, although he hadn't meant to, and until it was coming from his lips he hadn't really understood why he was feeling down. "Next year's not gonna be any different from this one, we'll be doing the same thing… Another year of killing, just like the last…what does it mean to us? What's it for?"
Youji didn't seem to have an answer for him, and he at once felt immensely guilty for spoiling his efforts to bring a bit of normality and happiness into their screwed up lives.
"I'm sorry Youji, I didn't mean to ruin your fun…"
"It's means whatever we say it means." Omi looked up and Ken, who was speaking determinedly and quietly, blushed. "We can't really pretend we can just be all carefree about it, and, it's not like it is for other people for us, but we can be happy anyway, because, because we have each other, and we're all together, and I'm not the right person to say this kind of thing without sounding awkward and, and stupid but, we've got to make it for something, and I think we have things to celebrate for, well I do, because you're all…mean so much to me."
Aya and Youji stared at him, and Omi watched him turn even pinker. He smiled at Ken, filled with fond feelings toward the older boy. Ken was so kind, and lovely, and knew just what to say that made him feel better, and the shy way he expressed his feelings was so adorable…
"You're right, Ken, all we need is each other, right? I don't know how I could feel sad when I have you…all of you..around."
"Here's to that!" Youji exclaimed suddenly, lifting his glass.
Aya lifted his too in silent agreement.
"To…friends," Ken said awkwardly.
"To us," Omi said, raising his glass with his friends, smiling genuinely for the first time all day, his eyes on no-one but Ken.
"Come on then, my lovely friends," Youji drawled, unaware of the stares he was getting having just drained a full champagne glass in half a second. "Let's…dance! Or something…"
Omi giggled as Aya and Ken followed suit and finished their drinks, and he knew he was blushing as Ken offered him his hand and helped him to his feet.
A couple of hours, and very many glasses of champagne, later, Omi found himself sitting in the same spot by the wall again. This time, though, he was smiling contendedly, happy and, as they all were, quite quite drunk. He laughed to himself – he was drunk! This was a really fun evening. Ken had been so right, they had each other, and that was worth celebrating!
He watched Ken. The dark haired boy really was…something. Attractive wasn't enough, beautiful wasn't enough…but whatever he was, he was painfully so.
Not that right now it seemed to matter. He mattered to Ken, and that was all that DID matter. Ken cared about him, even though he'd never love Omi the same as Omi loved him. He knew he was blatantly staring at Ken now, but it didn't bother him, it just made him feel all…warm.
'Must be the alcohol,' he thought. 'Hope I don't do anything stupid'.
He smiled and sighed happily to himself, watching Ken laughing at something, probably nothing, and Youji flirting with Aya, which he felt probably should have been disturbing, and wasn't quite sure why it wasn't. Probably because everything was so nice. Youji was nice, and Aya was nice. Ken was nice.
"You're the nicest person in the world," he told Ken, who was nowhere near him. "What time is it?" He didn't have a watch, but he guessed it had to be nearly twelve. And he was finally looking forward to the new year, to starting again knowing that he had people he loved, who loved him, and who were there for him, and who needed him there for them…
"In a few minutes I'll be with you for another year."
Ken sat down by him, smiling at him in a way that made him feel even warmer inside, and even tingly. Or maybe it was because they were sitting so close they were touching…
"Ken," he murmured happily, not intending to say anything more than his name. "Ken…"
"You're..happy now aren't you, Omi?"
"Yes, because of what you said. Because of you."
"I like you Omi," Ken said tipsily.
"I'm probably in love with you," Omi told him, leaning against him. "You don't mind, do you?"
Ken considered this, and Omi closed his eyes, laying his head on Ken's shoulder.
"I don't mind," Ken said. "I might mind, if it was Youji, or if it was Aya, but as it happens, I adore you. I'm glad you're not Youji or Aya…Omi…you're the only one…."
"I hoped you would…even though I'm…too young…not cute…adore me…"
"Well I did. I do. You are cute. I adore you."
Omi lifted his head from Ken's shoulder. He knew the hope he was feeling should have been nervous and faint, but it was just intense, and strong, and sure…
"Will you, next year? When you're not a little drunk?" he asked without hesitation.
Ken looked down at him and smiled in that heart-warming way again.
"Of course! You're the only one, remember?"
Omi grinned giddily at him, happiness he could never have begun to describe making him feel like he was glowing, making the world seem to glow around him.
"I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say."
"Then don't say anything. We don't need to, you and me, ne Omi?"
Omi nodded, and leaned comfortably Ken's shoulder again, slipping his hand into his. This was how it was supposed to be, wasn't it? He was sure he wasn't going to stop smiling for a whole nother year.
'Oh yeah!'
"Happy new year Ken! I think. What time is it?"
"I don't know. I don't care really. What do I need new year for? You're the only one, remember, the only one who my new years were for…and the only one my last year was for, and my next year, and, whatever year it is, it's only about you anyway… I suppose…my whole life is only about you really! I really love you Omi."
Omi sighed and curled up closer next to Ken.
"I love you."
They sat together listened to Youji and Aya wishing each other happy new year and the clinking of glasses that told them NOW was twelve. As Ken pulled him closer with an arm around his shoulders and kissed the top of his head lightly, Omi quietly wished himself, and everyone else, a happy new year. After all, he hadn't even believed such a thing could exist for him, and here he was. He really felt he was making a new start, and that was worth celebrating. And, of course, worth ignoring a wink and a smirk from Youji and accepting another top-up of champagne for.
OWARI
Whoa, 18 minutes till new year (here in the UK anyway…) I apologise for the fact I haven't even read this through, for obvious reasons ^_^ and offer it for general enjoyment (I hope) in celebration of a Happy New Year!!!!
