Longshot

She'd been selfish. Keeping him awake as long as she needed to find out if she was one of them; if she was the fifth. She wasn't. And because she'd waited, there was a bigger chance that he might never wake up again. He might never open those baby blues, before his surgery may have been the last time she'd ever hear his voice.

She was panicking. The feeling was worse than when she'd left him on Caprica, worse than when she was trapped in that apartment on New Caprica. Then, at least, she could believe he was alive. Maybe this time he wouldn't stay that way.

She remembered his face when they'd said goodbye on Caprica; how it felt when she'd come back and hugged him as tight as she could through the obstacle of her gear; the fire that started in the pit of her stomach when he kissed her or just touched her or even looked at her that way; she remembered how good he made her feel when she let him, happy even; how he felt inside her, when she was wrapped around him, unwilling to let go; his smile, his smell, his uncanny ability to see right through her bullshit and her craziness. She couldn't picture not having that Sam ever again.

Kara shifted forward on her chair beside the hospital bed and tightened her grip on his hand. "C'mon Anders, live up to your name." She whispered. The tip of her nose grazed the shell of his ear and her breath warmed his cool skin. "Wake up, you jackass."

"I doubt name-calling helps much." Tory lingered by the curtain. Kara offered her nothing but a hard glare and turned back to her unconscious husband.

"They're telling me you're not in there anymore. You're not allowed to quit. You hear me? No dying. You better frakking wake up." Deep breath. Whispers. "You have to wake up. It doesn't matter anymore. Just wake up."

"He can't hear you. He's not there." Tory again.

"Leave."

"Even if he did wake up, what makes you think there'd be room for you?"

"Shut up." Kara was on her feet now moving closer to Tory.

"Sure. Whatever you say, Starbuck." She threw the first punch and the second; machine or not, Tory went down fast before she started to fight back. Tables were knocked over, someone else's curtains were hauled down and then they were torn apart. Doc Cottle grabbed Tory round the waist and Lee appeared out of nowhere restraining Kara by the arms to minimize her chance of turning on him.

"What the frak are you doing, Kara?" Lee asked once she calmed.

"Frakking toaster."

"You married one." Kara made a move to go after Tory again but Lee held her arm tight.

"Fighting won't help anyone." The doc pointed Tory toward the door and she reluctantly made her way out. "One more punch and you're out too. Wife or no." Cottle went off toward a calling patient.

"He's right you know. Throwing punches won't wake him up." Kara pulled out of Lee's grip and resumed her position at Sam's side, taking his hand again.

"He'll wake up." She kissed Sam's temple and ran the fingers of her free hand slowly over his forehead, pushing aside his hair.

"What if he doesn't?" Lee asked gently. He hadn't wanted to see it before; she loved him. Kara loved Sam. He was afraid it would be the last straw if he didn't wake up. She would just crack; break into a million pieces no one could glue back together.

"He will." She rested her forehead against Sam's arm. "He will."

With eyebrows drawn and mouth set in worry, Lee left Kara alone, drawing the flimsy curtain closed behind him.

She couldn't promise anything in the way of attitude, but she could promise that if he woke up she'd make damn sure that he knew. No matter what horrible mood she was in and no matter how frakked up she was, she loved him.

He mattered. Samuel T. Anders mattered. And now she couldn't make him un-matter; she couldn't un-care. She'd realized what he meant to her. She'd woken up. All that was left was for him to. He had to wake up. Just open even one eye or squeeze her hand; something to let her know he'd be okay.

She fell asleep slumped over his arm and the edge of the bed. And though she wasn't awake to see it or feel it, the brain activity line on the screen spiked, Sam's eyes moved frantically like he was having a nightmare and he gripped her hand as if it was the only thing keeping him there.

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