Moses
When Estelle passed away and her last will and testament were read, Jack was shocked to discover that he had inherited her entire estate, minus some books and research papers which Estelle wanted to donate to the library of the small university where she had lectured for nearly sixty years. She had left him her house and everything it contained as well as the contents of her bank accounts and her safety deposit box. When he and Ianto went to the bank to claim the box, which held her mother's and grandmother's jewellery and a few odd trinkets and keepsakes, Jack discovered the promise ring that he had given Estelle just three months after they'd met. It was a promise he'd had every intention of keeping.
Wrapped in a blue silk ribbon were all the love notes Jack had sent her, slightly yellowed with age but still smelling of the lavender scent she always wore. There was the last bouquet of flowers, carefully preserved, that he had ever given her, hand-delivered the night before he'd disappeared from her life. Finally, there was an envelope in soft pink with his name written on it in her delicate spidery hand lying atop it all.
Seeing the tears that started falling down Jack's face when he began to read Estelle's letter, Ianto discretely withdrew from the little room to stand guard outside the door. When Jack emerged red-eyed a short time later, Ianto took possession of the case containing Estelle's belongings and slipped his hand into Jack's, silently leading him out to the SUV and driving him home. Once inside, he drew a hot bath and settled Jack in the tub while he made his lover a cup of hot, sweet tea. They never spoke of the letter, other than Jack's tormented whisper in the dark, "She knew it was me all along," as Ianto pulled him into his arms when they'd gone to bed that night.
With the house came Moses, Estelle's beloved black and white cat. Jack wanted to bring the feline back to the Hub and let it become another Torchwood pet. "It's only fair, Ianto. Owen has Janet and you have Myfanwy, why can't I have a pet?" he whinged.
"No!" Ianto immediately vetoed that idea. "First of all, I don't want Moses becoming tasty snack food for a hungry pterodactyl. And second, I thought you told me that Moses doesn't like you."
Jack preened in front of the mirror above Estelle's fireplace. "What's not to like?" He caught sight of the photo of himself in his RAF uniform, looking so proudly into the camera lens. He felt his heart lurch in his chest, remembering the day the picture was taken and knowing how much joy it had brought Estelle to display it even decades later.
"Jack, you okay?" Ianto's gentle voice brought the immortal back to present.
"You know I'd never let anything happen to him," Jack argued his case. "Moses can stay downstairs in our bedroom and come up to play in my office. I'll take good care of him, I promise."
Ianto refused that idea for two reasons. "One, Moses is a cat; cats love sunshine and fresh air, Jack. Your hole in the ground hasn't seen either one since the day it was created." Second and most important to Ianto, "There is no way I'm having sex with you, down there, with Moses watching us."
Jack roared with laughter; 'trust Ianto to keep the best for last!'
"You know, this one time when I was in the Vegas Galaxies, there was this club where all the rooms had closed-circuit TV cameras and they had this system sort of like pay-per-view and the public could buy into any room they wanted and…" Jack launched into one of his stories about being watched – or watching – but Ianto shut him up with a single look.
"We'll take Moses to the Maesteg Animal Welfare Society. It's a no-kill facility and they'll make sure he goes to a loving family," Ianto got them back on track. "We'll even recommend that he goes to an older person like Estelle who needs someone to love. Okay?"
Unable to meet Ianto's gaze, Jack reluctantly accepted the fact that they honestly had no choice, Moses had to go the local cat rescue shelter for his own good. He couldn't exactly explain it to Ianto, but in his heart, he felt like he was disappointing Estelle by abandoning Moses, that he was betraying the trust she'd put in him when she'd left her best friend in his care. 'I'm so sorry, my sweet girl, but Ianto's right; the Hub really is no place for a small animal.' He swallowed past a lump in his throat.
Sensing his lover's unspoken distress, Ianto had to harden his heart as he looked from Jack to Moses; the cat was reclined on his favourite cushion, in his favourite chair, right next to the side window where he had a perfect view of the gardens and its inhabitants. Moses looked back him, his large green eyes surveying the human standing before him. Ianto got the distinct impression that he was being examined in great detail, dissected in some crafty feline fashion; whatever was going on in Moses' mind, though, it seemed to work in Ianto's favour.
The cat stood up, extended his front legs out in front of him as far as they would go and then stretched his hind legs, sticking his butt up in the air and giving his tail a flick before finally giving a skull-splitting yawn as though he had no idea his fate was being considered. He leapt off his chair, making no sound as his paws hit the floor, and casually strolled the few steps to Ianto where he rubbed himself along Ianto's leg, using his tail as if it were a hand to wrap around the human's ankle.
Ianto looked down at his pant leg, now decorated with long black hairs and he grimaced with distaste. Moses just looked up at him and Ianto would have sworn that the cat's eyes were twinkling with amusement.
Jack laughed, his melancholy gone. "Looks like you've got a new friend there, Yan."
Ianto glared at him for a moment; Jack had obviously never tried to remove cat hair from wool before. He felt a tiny prick of remorse on behalf of his dry cleaner. Then he looked down at Moses, who just gazed back at him, a serene expression that would have made the Buddha happy on his furry face. The longer they looked at each other the more Ianto began feeling the irresistible urge to bring the cat home to his flat.
"Yan!" Jack poked Ianto in the shoulder, startling the younger man. "Captain Jack to Ianto Jones!"
"What!"
"I've been talking to you for like ten minutes and you've been ignoring me!" Jack put a sweet pout on his face, one that had always proved useful in the past. It never ceased to amaze Ianto how cute and endearing Jack could be when he pouted like a child.
'And I always fall for it, too,' Ianto thought fondly.
Pulling Jack into a hug, Ianto whispered, "You're exaggerating, aren't you," as he nibbled on Jack's earlobe. "Just a little bit?"
"If I answer, will you stop doing that?" Jack moaned as little shivers ran down his spine.
"Probably."
Jack caught his breath as Ianto's teeth grazed the sensitive skin just behind his ear and it took him a moment before he could form a coherent answer. "Then I'm not going to tell you."
Ianto changed tactics. He moved behind Jack and as his lips continued to graze on Jack's neck, he reached around, slipped a button open on Jack's shirt and slid his fingers inside. He quickly found Jack's nipple and caressed it, the fabric of Jack's vest making the teasing more subtle and more erotic.
"Mureow?" Moses didn't like being ignored, especially not after the moment of personal interaction he had just shared with the younger of the two humans. "Purffowl!" He stood on his hind legs and reached as far upward into the 'V' of Jack's legs as he could…
"OW!" Jack jumped back and fell over the footstool behind him. He landed flat on his back and Moses took the opportunity to leap onto his chest, landing with an audible thud.
"Oof!" Between the impact of meeting the floor and the weight of Moses landing on him, Jack's breath was knocked out of his body.
Ianto burst out laughing; the sight of Jack being held down by a large black cat was too funny for words. He knew that Tosh, Owen and Gwen would never believe him, so he pulled out his mobile and snapped a photo… or three.
As if he'd been waiting for his cue, at the very instant Ianto's phone snapped its picture, Moses turned and looked right into the lens. Satisfied with his proof of Jack's folly, Ianto stood there watching, grinning from ear-to-ear as Jack tried in vain to shove Moses away. The more he tried to push the cat off his chest, the more the cat dug in his claws. Even the protection of his shirt and vest weren't enough to keep the needle-sharp tips of Moses' claws from sticking into Jack's skin.
"Ianto!" Jack looked up at his partner and tried to look as pathetic as possible. "Please help me?" he begged.
Ianto tucked his mobile away and scooped the self-satisfied feline up into his arms. "I like your style, Moses," he nodded approvingly. Moses rewarded him by rubbing up under his chin and purring loudly. Ianto turned his attention back to Jack, who was now on his feet and brushing off his bruised backside.
"Um, Jack…" Ianto tipped his head quizzically. "How did you get down there in the first place?"
Jack gestured toward Moses. "That demon you're cuddling just viciously attacked me!"
"Attacked you?" Ianto raised one eyebrow. "Really?"
"He tried to sink his claws into my crotch!" Jack stuck his chin out stubbornly. "I view anything sharp coming near my pride and joy as an attack," the immortal proclaimed with as much dignity as he could muster.
"Oh, you wouldn't do that, now would you," Ianto scratched Moses under his chin and the cat arched his head into Ianto's chest, clearly enjoying the attention. "Yes, you're a good boy, aren't you? You wouldn't hurt the big mean man. No, you wouldn't."
"Ianto!" Jack stomped his foot in an effort to get his lover's attention.
"Yes, Jack?"
Jack used his most wheedling tone. "I like my penis, Ianto, very much, and he tried to perforate me!"
Ianto grinned down at Moses. "Now, while I appreciate the sentiment behind the attack, and I certainly admire your skills, I too like his penis very much, so, no more of that, okay?"
"Murfffff." Moses settled himself more comfortably in Ianto's arms. He was satisfied with his afternoon's work. He'd proven his point, established his place at the top of the hierarchy, and best of all, he'd picked himself a darn good human.
With eyes narrowed in suspicion, Jack surveyed his lover holding his new friend. 'Something isn't right with this picture…' but he couldn't put his finger on… 'Got it!'
"Um, Yan?"
"Jack?" Ianto grinned at him. He knew how much answering back this way would irritate the man.
"I meant to ask you earlier, but isn't that a new suit?" Jack asked casually.
"Yup. Picked it up at Monday lunch."
"You look really good in it." Trying not to smirk too obviously, Jack asked, "How are you going to get aaaall that cat hair off it?"
Horrified, Ianto looked down at the front of his waistcoat and at the sleeves of his jacket, and then Moses caught his eye. 'Don't worry about it, human; we'll figure something out. Trust me.'
Suddenly reassured, Ianto shrugged. "I'm sure that between a good lint brush and my dry cleaner, we can make it as good as new." He pointed at Jack's greatcoat, lying across the back of the sofa. "Those ladies can work wonders. After all, they keep your coat in its pristine condition."
Moses turned his face towards Jack and the man could have sworn that the cat was actually smiling triumphantly at him. Jack mentally shook himself; the funny feeling that something was just a wee bit off was growing stronger. "Are you feeling all right, Yan?"
Ianto was in the process of stroking Moses from head to tail, and when he reached the tip of said tail, he had a wad of shed hair in his hand. He looked at it for a moment, and Jack was so sure Ianto was going to freak that he'd have put money on it but instead, Ianto calmly flicked his hand and watched the hair fall away to the floor. "Yup." He popped the 'P'.
Alarmed by Ianto's uncharacteristic lack of response to the mess he'd just made, Jack repeated his question, hoping for a different answer.
"Of course, I am, Jack." Ianto looked at Moses and Moses looked at Ianto. "We're just fine, aren't we?" The cat blinked in agreement and Ianto looked at Jack. "See? I told you."
Now Jack was absolutely convinced that something was wrong, but he decided to settle for the moment, resolving to maintain a very close eye on his young lover until he could figure out exactly what was going on.
"So, do you want me to call the shelter to come here to pick up Moses or meet us at the Tourist Office?" He watched as Ianto the Human and Moses the Feline stared into each other's eyes and he got the creepy feeling that for a moment, they thought they were the only two in the room.
"Ianto?"
"Hmmm?" Ianto scratched his fingertip on Moses' nose, getting a loud rumbling purr in return.
Jack was tired of being ignored, and without thinking of how it would look, he stomped his size eleven boot on the floor, snatched his coat off the sofa, then spun around and flounced – yes, Captain Jack Harkness FLOUNCED from the room. Fortunately for his ego, the door closed behind with a satisfyingly heavy thunk, and he didn't have to hear both Ianto and Moses sniggering at him.
Pulling into a lucky empty parking spot right in front of the pet supply store, Ianto turned toward Moses. "We're here," he announced unnecessarily. The cat sat in his carrier, buckled into the front seat of the SUV.
Jack was in the back seat, doing his best imitation of an ill-tempered, sulky five-year-old. His bad humour had started before they'd even left Estelle's house. "Why can't I sit up front with you?" Jack had asked.
"Because I don't know how Moses will react to being in a car," Ianto explained patiently. "I want him where he can see me in case he starts to panic."
'Like that's ever going to happen,' thought Moses indignantly. 'I love car rides!'
"Well then, why don't you sit in the back with Moses and let me drive?" Jack offered. 'I hate sitting in the back!' he thought petulantly.
"Because you drive like a maniac, Jack, and Moses won't like it." Ianto settled the carrier into the front passenger's seat and secured the safety belt around it. "I will not have the cat vomiting in the SUV because of the way you drive."
"I do not dr…"
"Jaaack…" All it took was that one word; Ianto's voice had a tone of finality that told Jack he'd better get in, sit down, and shut up or pay dearly later. So, Jack had ridden from Estelle's to the pet shop in Cardiff's town centre in a broody sulk. At one point on the drive over, he'd actually kicked the back of Moses' seat, earning him a glowering stare from Ianto via the rear-view mirror.
Jack had simply put on his most innocent face and turned to look out the window, although inwardly he was smirking happily. 'Ha! Teach you to steal my Ianto!' After several miles of silence, Jack had asked, "Why are we going to the store? Didn't Estelle have everything Moses needs?"
"I did keep a couple of things, but I want him to have a fresh start," Ianto had patiently explained. "This way he won't be surrounded by things that remind him of Estelle. That'll just make him miss her all the more and make him sad." He took his eyes off the road for a moment and looked at Moses through the carrier's wire windows. "We don't want a sad kitty, do we? No, no, we don't."
Unable to argue with Ianto's logic, Jack had stared out the window again, watching the passing scenery.
Hoisting the pet carrier from the SUV, Ianto turned towards Jack. "Are you coming in or are you going to sit out here and act like a brat?"
"I am not a brat!" Jack exclaimed, slamming his door shut.
"You could have fooled us," he heard Ianto mutter to the cat, and Jack was absolutely positive he heard the cat laugh.
Having secured Moses in the seat of a shopping trolley, Ianto wheeled him into the pet store. "Let's see…" He consulted the mental list he'd drawn up while driving over. "Beds first, I think," and he headed down that aisle. Within seconds, he'd forgotten all about Jack, which suited Jack just fine; he wandered off into the toy department. Within minutes, he was happily occupied, playing with all sorts of lovely things for all sorts of pets.
"Now, Moses, which one of these would you like?" Ianto opened the carrier and let the cat climb out and sit on his shoulder. "This one is covered with lamb's wool, which should be nice and warm. You know how cold and damp Cardiff can be."
From his lofty perch, Moses surveyed his choices. Lamb's wool or fleece; foam core or poly-fibre; leafy ivy pattern or pretty flowers; square or round; covered or open. There were just so many choices! 'Oh, for heaven's sake! We could be here all day!' With a deep sigh, Moses closed his eyes and jumped onto the shelf. Whichever bed he landed in would be fine since he didn't plan to use it anyway, but he had to make things look good.
More than an hour later, Ianto was loading numerous carrier bags into the SUV's boot, including the bed Moses had picked out. It was open and oval-shaped with a memory-foam core, an interior lining of lamb's wool and it was covered with washable fabric in a subdued ivy-pattern. All in all, it was a manly-looking bed. Other carrier bags held dishes, an automatic feeder, a burbling water fountain, canned food, dried food, catnip and treats – lots of treats. Moses had picked them out himself. There were containers of chicken, tuna, beef, and dairy flavours as well as several bags with intriguing names like Seafood Luau, Backyard Grill and Cheesy Picnic.
In an effort to make up with Ianto, Jack had contributed two carrier bags of his own, both full of toys. He'd chosen everything from mice stuffed with catnip, to feathers on a stick, to tiny bells on a long string. He even had two mechanical toys, one a crinkly-sounding bag that held a clockwork mouse. Once the mouse was wound up it went inside the bag where it ran around and entertained one's cat, or at least that's what the packaging claimed. The other was a plastic ring open along its inside with a ball that went round and round at varying speeds so the cat could attack it; Jack remembered to buy the necessary batteries for that at the last moment. 'I am going to have a ball playing with Moses' toys!'
This time Jack didn't mind sitting in the back as they headed home to Ianto's; he'd snagged one Moses' toys from a bag to occupy himself during the ride. When Ianto pulled into the parking space in front of his house, Jack surreptitiously tucked the toy into his coat pocket, having decided that Moses had more than enough things to play with. 'He'll never miss this one!'
As soon as he'd turned off the ignition, Ianto rushed around the bonnet of the SUV. He had the passenger door open, the seatbelt unbuckled and Moses' carrier out before Jack had even unlocked his door.
"Now I know you'd like to arrive in style so the neighbours can see you, but I'm going to take you inside in your carrier." Ianto was completely focussed on the cat. "Once you're more comfortable with your surroundings I'll install a cat flap in the kitchen so you can go out to the gardens whenever you want. I think they're just as nice as Estelle's…" He paused as he felt a wave of deep sadness pass over Moses.
"Oh, my poor boy, I really am so sorry you've lost your best friend. I know how special she was and how much she loved you." Ianto stuck his fingers through the wires of the cage door and scratched Moses' chin as best he could. "We'll be inside in a just a moment and then we'll have a real cuddle, okay?" Now on the porch he pulled out his keys, turned the lock and opened the front door in a single smooth movement.
Opening the SUV's boot, Jack surveyed the multitude of bags; one of them had tipped over, spilling a riot of colourful things across the carpeted floor. He looked up at Ianto's now closed door. "Why yes, Ianto, I'd love to be your manservant and bring in your shopping for you. It's what I live for!" He huffed mutinously as he gathered errant toys back into their bag. Pulling several bags onto his arm he was immediately glad of the sturdy wool protecting his flesh from the plastic handles of the deceptively heavy carrier bags.
It took a lot of doing, quite a bit of inventive cursing and one rather odd look from a passing elderly woman pulling her shopping trolley along behind her, but Jack not only got all of Moses' provisions out of the SUV but he got the boot closed as well. When he got to the bottom of the stairs he realised there was a problem; with the carrier bags banging against him with every step he took, the cat bed crammed under one arm and the box containing the water cooler tucked precariously between the other arm and his body, getting up the six steps was going to be very tricky. He stood for a moment, going over his options, the bags getting heavier by the second.
'Ianto will kill me if I break anything!'
Finally, throwing caution to the wind, Jack miraculously managed to fling the cat bed up and at the door; it landed gracefully on its bottom, squarely atop the WELCOME mat. Now able to hold the bubbler's box securely in both hands, Jack was just about to mount the fourth step when the front door swung open and Ianto appeared.
"I was just coming out to help…" The Welshman took a step forward and his foot connected with the bed, sending it sliding halfway down the stairs. Puzzled that there had been something to kick, he glanced down and saw the perfectly lovely bed that Moses himself had chosen lying on the ground.
Sensing Ianto's displeasure, Jack thought quickly. "Would you believe this big gust of wind came out of nowhere and just tore it right out of my hands?" He tried for a cheeky grin to go along with his words but all he managed was a sickly grimace.
Pursing his lips to keep his caustic remarks to himself, a deeply annoyed Ianto huffed loudly, retrieved the bed and went back into the house, closing the door behind him… again.
"Well, that went swimmingly, don't you think?" Jack spoke to the world in general and after waiting several seconds for the world to answer and getting no response, he shook his head ruefully – he was still amused by his own humour – and mounted the steps. He thought about ringing the bell but he was pretty sure that 'if I do, I'll be the one sleeping in that bloody cat bed tonight!'
Balancing the box on one knee, Jack managed to get the door open without dropping the water bubbler. He knew without a doubt that if he did that, he'd never be allowed in his beloved Welshman's bed ever again; Ianto had been so excited about the thing, going on and on about how cats like to drink moving water. Getting to Ianto's light and airy kitchen without mishap, Jack carefully set his burden down on the counter, chose a peace-offering for Moses and headed towards the sound of Ianto's voice. He found the pair of them in the warmth and greenery of the sun-drenched conservatory Ianto had built onto the back of his house.
"Now this is your garden." Ianto waved one arm expansively. "As you can see, it is perfectly designed to please the most discriminating feline. There is grass you can sunbathe in, lovely shrubbery and flowerbeds with lots of plants you can hide in and several big trees you can climb." He paused for a long moment to admire his garden; he'd put a lot of time and effort into restoring what had been a plot of vacant dirt inhabited only by a few desiccated bushes and a lot of dead weeds when he'd purchased the house two years ago.
Completely ignoring what was being said, Moses was perched on Ianto's shoulder, totally mesmerised by a small flock of birds taking it in turns to enjoy the marble birdbath just a few yards away from the conservatory's door. His tail was in a frenzy, whipping back and forth across Ianto's back, reminding Jack of a crazed clock pendulum.
"Oh!" An important thought struck Jack and he forgot all about the toy in his hand. "Just remember, you can't jump into the neighbours' yards!" he exclaimed. "There's vicious dogs on both sides!"
"Jack, a four-pound Lhasa Apso and an ancient arthritic Corgi are not vicious." Ianto struggled to hide his smile as he recalled the day Cher, the Lhasa, had chased Jack from her front yard. As for Angus, Miss Gordon's beloved Corgi, whenever he saw Jack he would growl most bravely albeit quite toothlessly. In Jack's mind, both canines had marked him for death if they got him alone, something he never failed to remind Ianto of whenever he heard them barking in their respective back gardens.
"Yeah, well…" Jack shrugged peevishly. "You weren't there yesterday when I was talking to the postman and old man Crenshaw came out on his front porch. If he hadn't been holding Cher this gorgeous arse you love so much would have a great chunk bitten from it!" His tone became slightly childish.
"Trust me, Cariad," Ianto rolled his eyes fondly. "I will always protect your gorgeous arse."
"Promise?" Jack did his best to sound oh-so-needy.
Unable to resist the pitiful sound of his lover's voice, Ianto set Moses down in a large patch of sunshine. "You sit there for a few minutes," he crooned as he patted the cat's head and then he turned to Jack. Pulling the older man into his arms, he hummed, "come here, you big baby."
Wrapping his arms tightly around his Welshman, Jack stuck his tongue out at Moses – who naturally ignored him – before burying his face in Ianto's neck and breathing in deeply, filling his lungs with that special Ianto scent.
"I also promise I will never tell Owen about how scared you are of a little tiny dog that probably weighs less than yesterday's lunch." A new American-style Mexican restaurant had opened a few weeks ago just off Roald Dahl Plass and Jack had insisted on ordering the Burrito Mas Grande, not believing the restaurant's claim that it needed at least four people to finish it off entirely. Jack had made a valiant effort, stubbornly continuing to eat until he was nearly sick, but when he'd thrown in the towel, there was still almost two-thirds of the bean, meat and cheese-filled tortilla left on his plate.
"I still think that little monster is an alien in a dog-fur costume," Jack muttered rebelliously.
Moses took that moment to start meowing loudly, reminding his new human that "it's been hours and hours and HOURS since anyone has fed me so much as a single crumb!" He ran to the conservatory's door and sat down, increasing the volume of his cries as he waited.
When Jack and Ianto continued to ignore him, he walked over, extended his claws, and took a swipe at Jack's ankle.
"OW!" Jack jumped away, the victim of an unprovoked cat attack for the second time that day. "You rotten little bas…" He caught himself just in time, well aware of Ianto's amused smile.
"You know, I think you're right, Cariad. It's just a matter of time before one of them gets you." Ianto grinned cheekily, reaching out to squeeze Jack's butt before turning towards the door. "My money's on Cher, actually."
"Not so fast!" Jack grabbed for his arm and latched on to him, pulling him into a delicious snog.
Sensing he was in danger of losing his next meal for the foreseeable future, Moses returned to the door yowling and hissing angrily before stomping off down the hallway, howling at the top of his lungs. 'Wow! I sound just like a banshee from hell!' he thought with great feline pride. 'Let's see my Ianto ignore me now!'
Knowing that he'd won the day when he heard footsteps following behind him, Moses leapt gracefully onto the counter and began pawing through the bags of toys that Jack had bought. In spite of himself, Moses found he was pleased beyond reason by the annoying man's generosity. 'Not that I'm ever going to let him know that,' the cat sniffed haughtily. 'Some humans need to know their place in my world.'
Later that night, as Jack and Ianto took turns using the ensuite and getting ready for bed, Moses perched in the corner rocking chair, performing his own evening ablutions. He watched as first Ianto and then Jack climbed into bed before Ianto turned out the light. He listened to the sounds of the duvet rustling and soft voices murmuring in the dark and he was just settling in for a quiet, well-earned nap in his new home when suddenly the light came back on.
"Sorry, my friend, but I was right about this one." Ianto scooped his new feline companion from his cushion and Moses abruptly found himself on the floor out in the hallway.
Just before the door closed, he glanced back into the bedroom, where he met Jack's eyes. The self-satisfied smirk on the man's face clearly said, "I win! Ianto is all mine!"
As Moses stalked stiff-legged down the hall toward the living room, his tail straight up in the air, all he could say was, 'Keep your eyes open, pretty boy. I've got full access to your boots, your coffee mug and that greatcoat you love so much. I can even get under your pillow any time I want.'
He grinned fiendishly in that way only cats have ever mastered. 'You never know when or where I'm going to strike!' With a deep purr of devilish pleasure, Moses curled up in his memory foam-core bed, liking the way the softness of the lamb's wool cradled his bones.
'Oh yeah, you'll see,' he purred contentedly. 'You have no idea what we can do, human, and there's nothing you can do to stop us! We're everywhere and we're gonna take over the world, one hairball at a time!'
End
