Part 181 of the Elfwine Chronicles. The Elfwine Chronicles are a series of one-shots built around the family group of Eomer, Lothiriel and Elfwine. The total number will depend on how many ideas I get for new vignettes.
Enough
(July, 1 IV)
Do not look back. The men are watching, and it would be unseemly to show such weakness. I am a king and a warrior. I do not need final glimpses to sustain me. Certainly I never have prior to this. True, in the past I did not have a wife and son witnessing my departure, praying for my safe and swift return. But that is no matter. Nothing has truly changed. War is war and, as always before, my thoughts and focus will be on what is to come. To look back is to seem distracted, perhaps even reluctant. I cannot, I will not do it – though I know she would wish for it…
I am the king, and now a husband and father. I do not care what they think! I will go and do my duty to my land and my people, but I will carry my loved ones in my heart to strengthen and sustain me. I want to look, and I am going to do so…
It is enough…for now.
xxxxx
He will not look back. I know all too well that he is a warrior, brave and bold. He cannot show such weakness in front of his men. I know that, even as I realize how much I wish he would ignore it and deign to give me one final glance to sustain me. Would the men truly care so very much that he had done so?
I hold our son a little closer in my arms, cherishing this little part of him that remains with me. My eyes shut ever so briefly, but not for long – what if he does look and I miss it?
I always despised standing and watching my father and brothers ride off to battle. Part of my heart was rent from me and taken with them. They did not look back, and neither will he. It is not the way of warriors to yield to such sentimentality.
He will not look, and it is silly for me to continue standing here, watching as he makes his way down the hill. Everyone is waiting for me to return inside so they can disperse. But still my feet do not move and still my gaze is riveted on his figure riding slowly away from me.
What is this? He is turning! He is looking back and meeting my gaze – I know it even though he is too far distant to actually see his eyes. He looked back!
And it is enough…for now.
THE END
4/20/09
End note: It is best that you read the Elfwine Chronicles in the order they were written. The more of them that I wrote, the more likely I was to make reference to one of the previous ones and something that happened there. If you want to read them in order, go to the top of this page and click on my name (Deandra). That will take you to my profile page. Scroll down and you will find all the stories I have written. The Elfwine Chronicles are in order from bottom to top since ffn shows them in the order they were posted. A few were posted out of number order, but you can read them in posting order or number order since those few won't be affected in the story content.
