Lovely Bonkai fandom,
This is the second fanfiction I have ever written and I didn't have much feedback on the first one, so I don't have a clue if I'm doing it right. if there's something that needs revision you can tell me of course. But please be gentle. After the last episode of The Vampire Diaries had ended with a pretty mean cliffhanger I had this strange itch in my fingers. And of course I had to do something about it, so here you go. Enjoy!
Kai was not surprised when he got lost in the forest. Fog hid the tree tops and mixed with the white color of snow. Everything looked the same, nothing stood out. His sense of orientation went missing as soon as he was outside of that hellhole, where a supposedly mummified vampire had almost sucked his brains out.
Now he could hardly breathe, his lungs had completely dried up. As soon as he sucked in air he started to cough so hard that his lips got bloodied from it, leaving a metal taste on his tongue. It was almost surreal in some way. First, he got tricked by the person he was – admittedly still – infatuated with. Bonnie. He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, when he thought about the witch. She literally stabbed him in the back today. He spit blood. She was such a–
Kai froze. He almost forgot about the second thing but there it was. His eyes tried to focus but his vision stayed blurry, no matter how hard he tried to zero in on a mummified Dracula. Something had moved. His senses picked up a faint noise. His head whipped around in its direction but it was already hard to make out anything that wasn't in the radius of two feet.
Shaking his head he began to run again, clutching his neck with one, his churning stomach with his other hand. And all of a sudden he felt a force clutching his shoulder so painfully hard that his eyes rolled up for a moment. He stumbled, almost losing consciousness, when he felt that sharp teeth were lightly grazing upon his skin.
He punched the vampire as hard as he could with his elbow, his legs forsaking him in the process, so that he landed in cold snow in the process. His magic was cursing through him, violently rattling his insides. But as of now he couldn't grasp it. Too many thoughts were jolting through his head and he was lacking concentration, so his instincts were taking over.
Kai tried to reach for something while blocking out the raspy laughter of his opponent, as well as the hard punches his body had to endure while bathing his body in cold snow. He lost his coat along the way, so his arms were exposed to icy wind which felt like thousands of needles piercing through his exposed skin all at once. But all his pain was gone when he his fingers hit something hard. And while trying to push the –because of his state pre 'having Kai Parker for wine and dine' – still sluggish vampire off his body Kai could gather enough magic in his fingertips to make use of telekinesis.
„Modus", Kai whispered lifting the rock in the air with an invisible force, all the while kicking and scratching the vampire so often that it got off his body and away from his arteries. The rock hit the monster hard on its head that it fell gracelessly to the ground. But Kai knew better than to leave that thing that way. And he almost felt sorry when he got up to his feet, staggering up to the next tree and breaking off one of its smaller branches. With a force beyond his strength he rolled the filthy beast on its back exposing its ribcage and neck just enough so that he could let the tiny piece of wood pierce through the skin of its throat. Kai almost recoiled when it gaped and panted. The vampire's wide open eyes looked straight back at his.
And Kai saw fear in them, he saw remorse and the shrinking of its pupils had 'panic' written all over them. He felt a weird sensation in his stomach when he whispered „Modus" again, letting the splinters of wood wander through the already half dead body. And when they reached its, no his – this man's – heart Kai felt something wet streaming down his own cheeks. His entire body felt as if it was on fire. Cruel voices began screaming at him.
„Monster", they said. „Murderer", even. Guilt over flooded him in a surge. He did understand why nobody believed that he changed. He was still the same evil, gruesome cockroach that he had always been. Nothing's changed. Nothing would change.
Kai stood up, tried to relocate his footsteps so that he could go back to the mansion and warm himself up. He needed some rest. The thoughts that consumed him were far too pessimistic for his liking. But as he tried to move forward, it became evident that he would never make it while being in this condition.
Was it strange for him to hope that he wouldn't die for the sake of his Coven? Of course, he couldn't care less about daddy Joshua but the pregnancy of Jo felt somehow – would 'disturbing' fit as a description for the tumult that currently surged through his body? Probably not. Kai didn't know where he was going. He didn't know what was happening around him. All he knew was that a death as pathetic as this one was an unacceptable ending to his story. He was not one to give up. He would fight. Kai had taken on a vampire when his clothes had already been gushing red. He was strong. And powerful. A walk through the woods was nothing compared to what he had endured before. „I'm sorry", he screamed. „I'm sorry" He couldn't hold back the tears, even though they disgusted him. He was sorry. But that didn't make a difference. The words didn't change anything.
It was noon when he finally woke up. When he opened his eyes they wouldn't adjust to the light right away, so he could only make out a faint outline of his surroundings. His throat felt kind of sore, his head was heavy. He was snuggled down in a blanket, his fingers dug into a soft mattress. The smell of hot peppermint tea penetrated his stuffy nose. Holding his pounding head he sat up slowly, trying to make sense of his peculiar surroundings.
„How did I-", he began but was interrupted by a voice that he knew all too well.
„You didn't" Kai immediately blinked, squinting against the sunlight that shone through the windows of the old Salvatore mansion.
„Bonnie", he breathed. „Why did you-", but he was interrupted again.
„Don't read too much into it." She seemed more closed off than ever. Her eyes were hooded. She looked as if she didn't know what to do with herself, pacing back and forth, looking anywhere but at him. Had she cried? Kai wasn't entirely sure and something in his stomach kept nagging on his conscience.
„Am I dead?" It was a stupid question but he was hyperventilating. His head felt like it had been boiled to a mash.
„No", she snapped angrily, clutching her torso as soon as the words came out. As if she was hurt. He wanted to ask whether she was ok but that would be a dumb question regarding that she obviously wasn't. She also didn't really seem to be wounded, so there had to be another reason for her behavior and for her to even be here.
„Was I dead?", Kai then croaked. A cough followed suit. He immediately thought about the Gemini Coven, how every member was linked to him, how everybody would perish if his heart stopped beating, even for a second.
„No" She shook her head, annoyed. „But almost. Jo had been coughing blood and was on the brink of death. That's why I had no other choice but to come back and treat your wounds" The heavy silence that followed was unbearable. Her still clutching her torso and him looking like a lost puppy, nestled in a rose blanket. It was an odd scenario, one that neither of them felt comfortable to be in.
„So you know about me being essential for the lives of the rest of the Gemini Coven" He tried to sound casual but it came out bitter, his expression rancorous.
„Learned about it almost too late", she answered quickly, sucking in a deep breath. He glowered at her. The worry for the well being of his so-called family had been gone the moment he knew that his condition hadn't been that critical. A couple of scratches here and there wouldn't kill his sister. He knew as much.
Before he had the time to over think his next statement the words spluttered out like a cannon. „So you still hate me but can't feed your sadistic side by torturing me, because that could put your ...friend's friend's acquaintances in danger? Sucks to be you"
At that Bonnie averted her eyes. Something in him stirred. Was it guilt again? He wanted to punch himself. More like the burning of sheer curiosity. Had something changed? Had she finally forgiven him after she had her revenge or was it still not enough to quench her thirst?
„You know", she started, gulping. „What I did to you-"
„-Was only fair, I know. It also sucks to be me, apparently" He wanted to roll his eyes but he still felt a little too dizzy to show off about how the fact that that she abandoned him didn't affect him at all. But right now it was too hard to pull off any lie. He was tired of lying. Too much thinking, too little use.
„No, it wasn't fair. I realized that too late" Bonnie bit her lip, having an inner monologue whether she should sit down on the couch beside him or remain at a safe distance from him. In the end she decided to make herself comfortable on the sofa. Maybe comfortable wasn't really the word she was searching for. She was pretty sure that she looked like she was in the midst of a swarm of hornets – very fraught. Kai didn't know what to say. He wanted to grin like an idiot that she came back for him but shyness – something he didn't know was in him – overtook his feelings and he remained silent.
„They told me about how you are one of the main reasons I survived the loneliness in 1994. You made it all possible. I still live, because you helped me. And in the end I got out. I survived" Her voice was small. And when she stopped looking up at him with those big brown chocolate eyes, he believed for a moment that she would suddenly snap and drive another stake through his stomach but nothing happened.
They sat there awkwardly, embedded by the warm sunlight of the 1904 prison world. He wanted to ask whether she would allow him to go home but there had been many things that he had wanted to say already and his courage was somehow lacking these days. He was more prone to 'feelings' and 'compassion' that were turning his already chaotic mind into a thunderstorm. These changes made him more careful in his word choice and actions. He thought about others, felt a peng in his chest, when he did something that hurt other people.
„I'm sorry", he told her instead of asking questions to ease his own inquisitiveness. „I'm really sorry, Bonnie"
„You already said that" She was rigid, her eyebrows were drawn together in deep thought, her hands idly resting on her lap.
„I know but I still want to apologize", he insisted.
But she shook her head and this time he could see tears in her eyes. „No. I mean, you said it like a thousand times while I dragged you back here. You just kept saying it over and over again, even after your voice was used up and gone. You just wouldn't stop"
He wanted to apologize again, for what he wasn't sure but it seemed like these were the only words worth uttering in her presence. What else was there to say that wouldn't make her hate him even more? „I'm sor-"
„Stop saying you're sorry!" She screamed so loud that he was scared the window glass would crack. Then she breathed, hard and let her shaking fingers glide through her dark hair. Panting, she stood up. „I need a drink"
He heard her hurried steps as she entered the kitchen, listened to her rummaging around in the cupboards and counters, opening and closing doors. And before he knew it, sleep overtook him in the most inconvenient situation which he could have chosen to let reality slip away.
