A/N: Ok, this is my 2nd try at this story! But it was first in this format

Harry: hello
Author: um hi...

so they wouldn't let me post it, so I'm working on story format but I don't think it'll be the same. If you want to read the original version of this story first (i suggest you do, it'll be more fun!) then e-mail me.


Plz review! And don't just say "It's good", that doesn't tell me anything. Put a bit of detail of what you liked, comments, questions, concerns, predictions...blah blah.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter! Nor LOTR or POTC (though I wish...)

My comments will be inside ()'s and in italics. (Like this. Hmm, wonder how much it'll cost me to own HP...I could blackmail JK...oop- JUST KIDDING!)

Oh and, plz read this Author Notes! Thank you!

Enjoy!


Harry Potter and The Evil Ring That Voldemort's Cousin Owned.

Chapter 1:

"In The Forbidden Forest...We're Lost..."

The Popular Trio were in the common room, discussing something that Ron (surprisingly) had discovered on his own, and was proving to be really important news for our great Hero, Harry Potter.

"You're telling me," said Harry, trying to digest what Ron had just said "That there's an evil ring that would make Voldemort powerful and that Voldemort has a sister?"

Ron nodded. "That's what Dumbledore said, anyways"

Hermione spoke up, as she usually did, the stupid little girl...(author growls and murdering thoughts shot through her brain, making her smile at Hermione's sudden death in some other inexistent story)

"But- we've got exams!" she squeaked.

There was a silence as the two boys looked at each other and back at the girly stupid know-it-all (yeah, I hold a grudge against her, so sue me!) that they had the misfortune of have met at the train in their first year at Hogwarts.

Harry and Ron both chimed in "We're losing time, let's go!" and turned away, so the little Ms. Brains had no other choice but to follow her boy companions.

Meanwhile, in the Forbidden Forest...

A duet walked, looking at their surroundings, bewildered. Any passerby (if there was any) would guess they were lost. This was a point that poor old Samwise was trying to make his master see.

"Face it, Mr. Frodo," said Sam "Smeagol got us lost!"

Frodo growled at his companion. "No he didn't!" he defended the 'poor defenseless creature'(author snorts, "Yeah right, and piranhas aren't evil, they just want to be your friends") "We just-...can't find the way..." he looked around again.

"That's what lost means!"

Frodo was stubborn. "We're not lost!"

Sam rolled his eyes. Boy, was it annoying to have a companion this stubborn...

And- Meanwhile at sea...

It's something like what went on with the Trio, except that this is a Duet...a duet of the hottest, cutest, bishest, loving, adventurous, passionate, rough, water-loving, (Okay, okay, enough of that, then.), men. Yes, you guessed! It was none other than charming cocky Captain Jack Sparrow and the cutest blacksmith ever, Will Turner (Author fans self, "I won't faint, I won't faint, I won't faint...gwad they're sooo hott!). They were aboard Jack's dearest Black Pearl, the same night when Frodo and Sam got LOST and the night our beloved trio set out to find Voldemort.

Will was telling Jack about something he'd heard and that was interesting enough for our charming Pirate here.

"So you're saying," said Jack after Will told his story "that there's a ring that can get me power? How do you know this?"

"I heard that ugly guy say it to himself before taking Elizabeth" said Will

"And why did he take Elizabeth?" asked Jack

Will whined in irritation "How am I supposed to know! He's probably thinking of turning her into a slave or something!"

Jack leaned back and crossed his arms. "And what makes you think I'll help you save her...again?"

Will frowned. "Well...I...there'll be lots of rum!" he offered.

Jack rubbed his chin, thinking. "Hmmm..."

"And-...you'll be rich!" Will continued, trying to tempt the pirate into helping him.

"Interesting..." was the only thing Jack said.

"And there'll be-...women!"

"You've got yourself a deal!" he said. He looked around "Now, if we could just see through this fog..."

Will squinted at the horizon "I think I see land ahead..." he informed the Captain.

"How far?" asked Jack.

Will continued to squint "About...-"

Suddenly, the ship stopped out of the blue very hard, crashing into the sands, literally coming out of the blue! (blue as in water, as in sea). The two bishies screamed out as they flew off the ship and hit the sandy ground.

"-two inches, least..." Will finished his incompetent sentence.

Jack glared at the young Blacksmith.

"Please Jack!" begged Will "Help me rescue Elizabeth! Or else I will never get married...probably never have children-"

Jack rolled his eyes in a tiresome way "Here we go again..."

Well, while Will lectures Jack about his miserable future, let's see what's going on at the dark side...

Elizabeth rattled the bars of her new cell angrily as any Damsel in Distress would do. Except she didn't whine, and her mind was full of curses meant for her captor that would make any sailor blush. "Let me go! I demand you let me go!"

Voldemort wheeled at her, "Silence! Can't you see I'm talking to my evil sister Saphira?"

Elizabeth snorted. "Really?" she found it hard to believe what he'd just said. "I thought she was your daughter! I mean, c'mon! She's only 15!"

Saphira crossed her arms and frowned. "Why do people keep telling me I'm your daughter?"

"I don't know" said Voldemort "As far as I know, you were adopted, just like me, then we grew evil-"

"Shut up!" said Saphira.

"Yeah, what she said!" Elizabeth piped in.

"I don't wanna hear that story for the 7th time this day!" said Saphira. And It would get in anybody's nerves, having to hear the same old miserable story again and again, reminding you that you were the sister of an "Evil Lord".

Voldemort sulked, and muttered to himself "Just wait 'til I'm powerful...-"

"You!" Saphira had heard him "What happened to 'We'!"

Voldemort looked around nervously "Er...um...Oh look! Pizza's here!"

xHPx

"And I'm sure they'll kill me and that'll be the end of the Turners since I won't have children-"

xHPx

"This is the last time we take shortcuts through a forest!" growled Sam as they walked in the same Forest.

"For the last time, Sam," said Frodo "we're not lost! We just can't find our way!"

"And where's Smeagol?" Sam had given up in making Frodo see that 'not finding their way' meant the same thing as being LOST.

"He went to hunt a kangaroo" said Frodo promptly.

Sam blinked, and felt his temper rise. "Kangaroos don't live in England!"

"Ohh..."

"He left us!" said Sam, who couldn't believe that Frodo were this thick.

"He did not!" Frodo snapped "He said he'd return this February the 30th..."

xHPx

"That's the last time we ask a centaur for directions!" Harry told his companions, the Redhead cool sidekick and Ms. Braniac-I-make-Einstein-piss-in-his-pants.

"It was Hermione's idea!" said Ron who was just as angry as Harry.

"But-" Hermione started

"We're lost!" Harry interrupted her.

"So were the centaurs!" Hermione responded resentfully, pointing out the fact.

Ron could only growl, for he was ready to throw a thread of insults and curses that would make 2 sailors blush.

xHPx

"-And I'll die, not knowing what being loved feels like, my soul will wonder the earth, sad because the one I loved was killed by an evil guy-"

xHPx

"Got any 2's?" asked Saphira.

"Go fish" responded Voldemort.

xHPx

Sam fumed. "We're lost!"

"Nu uh!" said Frodo.

"Yu uh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yu uh!"

xHPx

"-I'll never be a father and I'll never know the joys of-"

"Alright already!" said Jack, not wanting to hear any more of Will's supposed sad future without Elizabeth "Stop it! I'll help you if you promise to shut up!"

"Deal"

xHPx

"Follow the star, she says!" Ron fumed "Follow the star!"

"I didn't know it was an airplane!" said Hermione with airs of superiority.

"Now we're really lost" commented Harry as he looked around, the Forbidden Forest looking the same from every angle. (For those who've noticed I haven't said a thing 'til now, it's because these ones are shorter and there's not much to say in these ones. But- just for the sake of it...BEWARE OF THE STICKPEOPLE! THEY WILL BRING DOOM AND DESPAIR TO ANYONE WHO COME ACROSS THEM! THERE'S NO ESCAPING THEM! NOOOO, THERE'S NO WAY! FEEAAR, FEEAAR, DOOOOMED...doooomed...)

xHPx

Will almost jumped off his clothes, (Yeah, I know it's skin instead of clothes. But just think of how good he looks without clothes! hmm...ok on with the story, move along, noooothing to see here...). "Jack, I think I heard someone..."

Jack glanced over to the cute blacksmith "It's just your imagination" he decided.

xHPx

Harry stopped, and warned his friends. "Quiet...I hear someone coming..."

xHPx

Jack instructed Will "We jump in-"

xHPx

"At the count of three..."

xHPx

"One..." the Pirate counted down.

xHPx

"Two..." Harry whispered to his friends.

xHPx

"THREE!"

CRASH! (Yes, I'm leaving this original sound effect. Why? I dunno...just cause, I guess. But if anybody asks: the Stickpeople made me do it )


A/N:

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