I've always wondered what would happen if a "normal" Pokemon tried to be a Legendary Pokemon so I decided to write this fic. It's written more for humor purposes than for logic, and I think it's one of the most insane fics I've written.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.


"Ok, we'll take care of your Sceptile for you. Don't worry about him, young man."

"I'm counting on you then." The trainer turned to face his Sceptile. "Now behave yourself while I'm gone, alright? I'll pick you up soon." He then turned around and left the Day-Care Center through the main doors.

"Alright. Sceptile, while don't you go join the other Pokemon outside? I think you'll like it there." The old woman said, leading the Hoenn Grass-type Starter Pokemon outside.


Ryo sighed as he walked outside into the sunshine. Although he was one of his trainer's starting six, he wondered why his trainer would want to leave him here when he had an upcoming Pokemon tournament to take part in. He passed a few other Pokemon who gave him a look before returning to their activities. "Good," he thought to himself, "I like to be alone anyway." Reaching the base of a large tree, he sat down and laced his hands behind his back. He sighed, closing his eyes slightly. "Mabye, I'm not strong enough for my trainer. Perhaps that's why he left me here." He thought to himself.

"Do not say things like that about yourself, my friend."

"Huh?" Ryo's eyes snapped open instantly. He looked around for the source of the voice. His gaze soon fell upon a white four-legged figure with something resembling a wheel attached to its torso.

"Lord Arceus? What are you doing here? Aren't you afraid of being caught by trainers?"

Arceus simply smiled. "I will always spring forth for my friends. And only the people whom I wish to see me can see me."

"That is correct, Ryo. By ending a certain… lover's quarrel, you have us as your friends." A deep voice filled with power spoke behind him. The Sceptile turned around, only to see Rayquaza hovering there. With a jolt, Ryo realized that all the Legendaries were surrounding him. The green serpent was glaring at a blue orca and a red lizard, who smiled nervously. "Lover's quarrel? You don't mean…" Ryo pointed at Groudon and Kyogre.

"I do."

"Oh. But even with all of you here, you can't help me. I'm not strong enough. If only I had the strength of a Legendary…" Ryo sighed. The Legendaries exchanged glances, before Arceus spoke again. "Wait, don't say that, my friend." He looked towards the other Legendaries, who nodded eagerly. "You want to know the secrets to being as powerful as a Legendary?"

"Yes, I do! Can you teach me, Lord Arceus?"

"Well, I can give you some special training sessions…"

"Please, Lord Arceus!"

"Very well then, I shall teach you…" At this moment Mew blew a trumpet, interrupting Arceus' sentence. The God Pokemon glared at the pink feline, before continuing. "The Seven Parts of Knowledge to Being a Legendary!" Arceus announced in a very confident voice. He signaled to Palkia, who nodded and created a rift in space with his claws. Arceus signaled to Ryo, before all of them stepped through the rift, which closed as though it had never existed.


Part 1: Always Attend Your Daily Training

"The first secret to being as powerful as a Legendary is to practice your skills daily." Arceus said, pointing all around him as the various Legendaries who were busy practicing their various skills. Palkia was sparring with Dialga, while several other Legendaries were using Deoxys, who was in Speed Form, as target practice. Ryo simply stared open-mouthed at all of them.

"Why don't you try training with them?" Arceus asked as a Spatial Rend whizzed past his ear.

"Uh…" Ryo leapt to the side as a Roar of Time hit the spot where he had been standing, leaving a one-meter wide crater.

"Which type of training did your trainer put you through?" Arceus spoke again.

"Speed and endurance, as well as attack." Ryo replied.

"I see. Well, why don't you try Mewtwo and Deoxys' personal training? I'm sure you'll find it very useful." Arceus pointed towards the space virus and Mew's clone, who both nodded.

"Well… Ok then." Ryo replied nervously.

Twenty Minutes Later

"What the Hell is this training supposed to do?" Ryo said as he struggled to keep up with the rapid-fire speed of the two Legendaries' breakdancing. While Mewtwo and Deoxys (in Normal Form) performed backflips, handstands, headspins and other moves effortlessly and with style, Ryo was struggling to just not trip over his feet. All the other Legendaries were watching with amusement as the trio danced. Eventually, the music ended and Ryo collapsed onto the ground, panting with exhaustion.

"Seriously, that's all you could take?" Deoxys asked. She and Mewtwo were only breathing slightly faster than normal. "Your trainer really has to train you more."

"I don't… see the freaking point… of this training." Ryo panted.

"Really? Then why don't you fight me?" Deoxys asked. "I'll remain in Normal Form, to even things out."

Ryo staggered to his feet, took a deep breath and nodded. Igniting his Leaf Blades, he charged towards Deoxys.


Several Backflip-turned-kicks, spinning punches and a spinning reverse heel kick later…

Ryo hit the ground for what seemed like the thousandth time in the last five minutes.

"What… kind of… fighting style was… that?" He asked as he got to his feet groggily.

"That, my friend, was Part Two of the Seven Knowledges. 'Always Use What You Learn For Different Purposes'." Arceus said. "Now come, we have five more Parts to go through."

Before Ryo could say anything, Palkia grabbed him and tossed him into another rift in space.


Part 3: Without Food, You've Got No Fuel To Fight

"This food is delicious!" Commented the Sceptile as he tore through the various foodstuffs on his plate. All the other Legendaries were also doing the same thing.

"This, my friend, is Part 3. 'Without Food, You've Got No Fuel To Fight'. You need to eat in order to build up your strength and replace the energy lost in training." Arceus said.

"Now, I must return to the Hall of Origin for a while. I'll be back soon." With that, he teleported off.

The moment Arceus disappeared from sight, all the Legendaries glanced at each other, nodded before grabbing plates loaded with food and hurling them at each other. Ryo barely dodged the plates flying at him as he shouted, "What's this supposed to mean?"

"This, young one," came Darkrai's voice, is the unofficial Part 4: 'Use Food In Innovative Ways.' Although Arceus rarely teaches it due to the mess it leaves behind," Darkrai phased through the ground to avoid a cake, before continuing. "We Legendaries find ways to use this when he's not around. Plus, it increases your speed and trains your reflexes at the same time."

Before Ryo could reply, a cake hit him directly in the face. Three pies followed this before a barrel of juice was dumped onto him.

"Ah yes, I forgot." Darkrai commented. "The only catch is that it's extremely messy."

In the midst of all the fighting, no one noticed the giant wave heading towards the clearing where everyone was. It struck, washing everything into another spatial rift.

"Thank you, Kyogre." Arceus said, watching with satisfaction.

"No problem. Always glad not to get 'wiped out'." She replied.


Part 5: Training Can Be Unique When Organized By Friends

"AHHHH!"

The scream echoed throughout the abandoned town that the Legendaries were using for training. Ryo quickly turned around and sprinted as a truck, controlled by psychic energy, drove right towards to him. "Some training," he thought, "It's more like a life-or-death game of torture!" He quickly rolled into an alleyway as the truck drove past him. Ryo sighed in relief, glad that he had avoided the truck.

"Never let your guard down, my friend!"

Whirling around, Ryo spotted the same truck from before. Before shock could set in, he took to his heels and sprinted out of the alley, turned right and continued running. "This is the only endurance training that makes sense so far!" he muttered under his breath. Glancing over his shoulder, he was surprised to see that the truck was no longer there.

"Remember Palkia's space-bending powers, my friend!"

"What the…" Ryo spun around to see the truck directly in front of him. Acting quickly, he jumped over it, landing on a manhole. Sighing, he turned around, only to see the truck an inch away, heading toward him.


Arceus watched with interest as the truck rolled over the spot where the Sceptile had stood. When it cleared the spot, he was surprised to see that Ryo was no longer there. Before he and the other Legendaries could wonder where Ryo had gone, the Sceptile's head poked out from the manhole, which Arceus noted had been opened.

"The kid's learning fast, isn't he?" Came Mewtwo's voice as he approached from behind.

"Yes." Arceus nodded as they heard Ryo mutter about how crazy the training was.

"Want to make it crazier?" Mewtwo asked.

"Please go ahead." Arceus replied.


"For the sake of Arceus," hissed Ryo as he hoisted himself out of the manhole. "Could this training get any worse?" he muttered. However, his thoughts were interrupted by a loud screeching sound. Ryo whirled around, only to see two cars heading towards him.

"Me and my big mouth." Ryo turned tail and ran as the cars sped after him. He halted as the same truck from before, as well as a bulldozer, screeched round a corner and headed in his direction.


After a wild afternoon of dodging various vehicles…

"Congratulations, my friend! You have successfully completed this part of your training, more commonly known to us as the Highway of Hell!" Arceus spoke as Ryo lay on his back.

"That… was one of the most… unique… training sessions I've ever had." Commented Ryo as he lay on his back. He sat up, but before he could speak, Arceus said, "Your trainer needs you now. You'd best go to him."

"Huh? What-" Arceus tossed the Grass-type Pokemon into a rift before he could reply.


Ryo groaned and opened his eyes. Looking around, he noticed that he was back at the Day-Care Center. "Was that all a dream?" he wondered. Before he could think further, the woman who owned the Center signaled him to go to her. She returned him to his Pokeball, before placing it in the transporter machine. There was a flash of white light, and the Pokeball was gone.


For the second time in five minutes, Ryo's eyes snapped open as he was released from his Pokeball. This time, however, he was in a stadium and he noted that his opponent was an Infernape. "Not exactly the best type matchup." He thought to himself as the referee signaled for the match to begin. To his surprise, his trainer did not shout out commands as usual and he quickly remembered that in this tournament, the Pokemon had to fight on their own. As this thought sank in, the Infernape released a Flamethrower directly at him, which he quickly dodged. "Strange," he thought to himself, "My reflexes are faster than before!"

"Of course, my friend! Our training is not useless! Now, show the benefits of our special training!" Arceus' voice echoed in his head.

"So that wasn't a dream," Ryo thought as he back-flipped to avoid a Mega Punch. As he flipped, his feet slammed into the Infernape's jaw, causing it to stagger backwards. "That's right! Part Two of the Knowledges!" Ryo thought as he landed. He fired a Bullet Seed at the ground in front of the Infernape, causing some sand to be thrown into its eyes. Ryo then followed up by jumping into the air before hitting the Infernape with a scissors kick, before rolling away as the Infernape fired another Flamethrower, before charging at him with a Mega Punch. Ryo quickly dodged the fist, slammed his knee into the Infernape's mid-section and pushed it away from him using his right hand. However, his opponent recovered faster than he had hoped and blasted him with a Flamethrower, slamming him into the far wall. "I can't give up now, not after what I went through!" Ryo thought as he forced himself to his feet.

"Correct, my friend! You've just mastered Part Six! 'Never Give Up'!"

Ryo fired a Bullet Seed at the Infernape, which nimbly dodged and fired another Flamethrower at him. Ryo dodged, before igniting his Leaf Blades and using the Flamethrower's fire to superheat them, before charging toward the Infernape and landing several slashes with them, before flipping backwards, hitting the Infernape in the jaw with his feet while charging up a Solar Beam and firing it at his opponent the moment he landed. When the smoke cleared, the Infernape lay on its back, knocked out cold.

"And the winner is the Red Trainer's Sceptile!" the referee declared. Ryo sighed. "Finally, some rest." He thought as his trainer returned him to his Pokeball.


"Great work, my friend! You have what it takes to be as powerful as one of us!"

Soon after that match, Ryo had been returned to the Day-Care Center by his trainer, who promised to call on him when it was needed. The Sceptile now sat under a tree and was being congratulated by the Legendaries.

"Thanks, guys. Although without your training, I probably would have lost."

"Looks like your training is complete, my friend! Its time we returned back to our duties, fellow Legendaries!" Arceus said.

"Wait! You said there were seven parts! What's Part Seven?" Ryo asked.

"Good question, young one!" Arceus said. "It is…"

"Go on, Lord Arceus! What is it?"

" 'If You Want To Be As Strong As Us, Make Sure You Follow The Six Above Steps Every Day'!" Arceus finished. The Legendaries then teleported off, leaving an open-mouthed Ryo standing alone under the tree.


The end. I hope the ending was all right. Review it, please.