Authors Note: I don't own any of Red Dwarf blah blah blah. I do however adore Rimmer so if you don't like Rimmer having nice things happen to him don't read this fic. At least I warned you ….. This is my first Dwarf fic – so please please review and give me something to work on, good or bad :) thanks for reading X

The last human alive was balanced carefully on his amp as he searched for a reason, his guitar was presumed missing in action as his crewmates had hidden it over a month ago making his amp the only object he truly felt comfortable with. Lister pressed his nose against the bedroom window and stared out into the dark world that surrounded him. Empty beer cans lay strewn around the floor; a feline like creature was nestled on the top bunk purring quietly in his sleep.

"You know when you look at it. Space that is. Its very …. Well spacey isn't it?" he whined "I mean how long have we been floating around here now. Years. Years and years in space. Nothing out there, nobody out there. Floating without a purpose, without a plan. Is it day? Is it night? It's always just black. Darkness and no purpose."

Lister crushed the empty lager can in his hand and flung it to the floor with the others, he stared over at the table where another can was waiting to be drained but it seemed too far away so he turned back to the window and cracked his forehead against it one more time.

"I'm sure it's not worth dwelling on Dave. I don't" The deadpan voice of the computer snapped Lister from his daydream, as he turned round in horror.

"Holly, you should be dwelling on it all the time! It's your job to get us out of this space thing! You have had an entire week to focus and have brought us out of stasis to tell us you were bored!"

"Have you ever sat around here for a week with no one but a neurotic android to talk to. I may not be human Dave but I am humane! I needed something to occupy my time"

"Gettin' us back to earth should be your occupation Holly"

"Well everyone deserves a bit of time off" Holly grumbled. "Its not easy you know and half the time its not even interesting"

Lister frowned and stared at the Cat, after a full weeks sleep he had taken 4 naps since coming out of stasis. Kryten had been fussing around them, clearly delighted at having someone to care for once more and was now down in the laundry room re-ironing their bed sheets in order to perfect his hospital corners.

"Where is Rimmer anyway? I thought his smug git-like face would have been here to welcome me back"

"Hes … erm. Sorry Dave can I get back to you on this one, I am trying to navigate us back to earth here"

Holly vanished from the screen quickly and left a sign present stating 'Do not Disturb'. Lister jumped from his amp and walked over to the monitor with his arms folded.

"Holly .. What have you done with Rimmer?"

"Me? Why would I have done anything with Rimmer?"

"Because you look about as innocent as a puppy sat beside a huge pile of shit that's why, has something gone wrong with the hologram unit?"

"Not exactly… I switched him off. Minutes after you went into stasis he started Morris dancing and boasting of how he could listen to his Hammond Organ music. I switched him off immediately and just haven't got round to switching him back on yet"

"What! You switched him off without his consent? He's been off for an entire week, all this time?" Holly nodded and watched as Lister's face broke into a huge grin that touched both ears. "Yeeeeeeeees! Nice one Hols."

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When Cat awoke and Lister had slept off his 8 cans of lager Kryten proceeded to update them about the events that led them to being woken early.

"As you know sirs the planetoid we landed on was found to be highly toxic and after a few tests we discovered that you and the Cat would have most certainly choked to death within minutes of landing, so … smug mode initiated … it was a damn fine job that I won that coin toss and you were put into stasis, which did indeed save your lives."

Lister pulled a face and swigged at his coffee. "Yeah alright Kryten we aren't worthy, so did you find the ship? Anything worth looting?"

"Yeah" screeched the Cat "After all that time I was locked away there better have been something good on that ship bud, do you know what my hair was like when I woke up? You ever had a bed head rubber features?"

" Er …. After searching the planet we found the vessel we had been tracking only to find all the crew dead." Kryten mumbled. "They clearly hadn't done a correct reading of the atmosphere before landing. It was carnage Sir. So many dead"

"Yeah!" Holly interceded, "It was about as kicking as a Phil Collins concert"

"Quite" Kryten agreed, "However I am glad to report that we did find supplies of food and weapons plus some lovely little lace handkerchiefs that I will distribute soon and a little lady to pop over the toilet roll. I was most pleased"

"There was something else" Holly grinned, "Just a little something else. While Kryten checked around the cargo I logged into the ships mainframe and discovered something else"

Holly waited for a few minutes, trying to stare Lister out into begging him for the vital information. "Well don't you want to know what else?" he finally asked.

"Yeah Holly, but I don't want to give you the satisfaction of asking four hundred times only to find out that by the time you remember you had something important to tell me, you will have completely forgotten what it was and most likely we will be in mortal danger!"

"So you want to know then?" Holly pressed his face growing more confused as he thought over Listers last sentence.

"Yes! What the smeg else do you have to tell me?" he growled, pushing away his coffee.

"Man you are not a morning person are you bud?" Cat grinned, "I mean hell I thought I was cranky when being woken up but you … whoooosh"

"Sirs if I might interrupt this bickering session" Kryten grinned, "We found a pod. At least we think it is a pod, we are still doing checks. From what we can tell as they hit the atmosphere someone close to the stasis pods managed to jump inside one and save themselves"

"A stasis pod?" Lister was confused, "Do you mean someone can put themselves into stasis and propel themselves into space?"

"Correct sir, I believe it to be an earlier form of stasis where the user believed that in the event of untimely death the best option would be to just pop into space and hope to be found. This idea fell on the wrong side of popular due to many incidents where people were never recovered or simply exploded after a certain period of time. In this instance whoever managed to climb inside was able to start the sequence but never actually managed to leave the ship"

"So what are we waiting for?" asked Lister, "lets go crack open that nut and see who made it out?"

"Already began sir, due to the pods security it will take twenty four hours in order to load up and revive the life form. There is 8 hours left until we will learn anything more. Until then I suggest we sort out the supplies and check the new weapons."

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"Kryten is there really nothing we can do?"

Lister stared at the small light bee in his hand he felt close to tears, it was giving off a small faint light every few seconds. "I mean how do we stop this from happening? This was never meant to happen. I promised myself this wouldn't happen to me.".

"I'm sorry sir, I can't stop it now. Once the sequence has begun that is it, it will all be over in a few minutes and then we can take stock. I'm sorry"

Kryten drummed his fingers against his chest nervously and glared at the light bee its light growing brighter and more frequent in its bursts of energy.

"So that's it then. He's really turning back on." Lister threw the light bee upon the table in the same manner that he would throw a salad in the bin, 'Fan-smegging-tastic. I am actually going to kill Cat, I am technically his owner .. I am going to have him neutered".

"I don't think Mister Cat meant any harm, he just didn't realise what he was pressing. Believe me he is suffering more than any of us."

Lister grimaced; it was true. Telling Cat that he was personally responsible for bringing Rimmer back when they had all agreed to have another few months without his annoying presence hadn't been pleasant.

"God! He did not take that well did he? I never want to see a grown man weep like that again, is he still in the medi-bay?"

"Er yes sir, I gave him a strong sedative to calm his nerves, he was quite hysterical. All talk of giving it all up, destroying his clothes and living a completely humble and unselfish existence away from all other life forms in the store rooms"

"Yeah well I am considering that myself at the minute Kryten"

Lister stared through his fingers with sheer despair as the light bee lifted itself into the air and began to emit an image of a man. Lister spun round to check the screens and watched as all of Rimmer's characteristics were booted up, it didn't take long. Within seconds Rimmer was there and fully functional, Lister groaned again watching Rimmer jump forwards, nostrils flaring and anger sparking in his eyes.

"What the smeg just happened?" he cried.

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