Chapter 1: Waffles! (1)(refer to note 1)
A young girl of only several thousand years, sat in a dimension she had named Alchemist Earth. She had reentered this dimension only an hour ago. She'd been gone for a year in her own personal time, but only for a second or two in this dimension's time. She had been visiting the Second Dimension when a plague had hit the human children of that dimension. After dealing with this, she came to the Alchemist Earth dimension for a break. So when she ran across her 'boss', General What's-His-Name, she was very cranky and tired.
"Where have you been? I told you to get a report on the Shilear case two weeks ago!" shouted the general, who had turned a funny color of red in the face.
Wiping the spit of her face Renée calmly said, "Oh, that. I never went to Shilear. Didn't feel like it. I was able to make it to Jinar though. They had a nasty little epidemic that effected the middle-aged, going around. It was quite nasty."
He grumped to himself, "Jinar is on the other side of the state. What were you doing there?" Then continuing in that military type yelling, he said, "Here's your next assignment. And this time, please at least try to attempt to look like you care." Accepting the folder she had been given, she slipped it into her briefcase and said good-bye to everyone present. She then headed to her personal quarters. Once she was out of hearing range, even for her, the general grumped, "Bloody Cat."
Once she had arrived at her quarters, she withdrew her keys and opened the locked door. Her quarters were plain and uninteresting. There were two rooms, one was a bathroom slash kitchen, and the other was everything else. The main room included a table, a dresser and a small bed. The walls had no posters on them and the only thing that made the room look like it was lived in was an open drawer, in the dresser, that was full of black socks. Dropping, and nearly the table, her briefcase on the nearby table she entered the second room, yawning. Inside was a curtain leading to a shower and toilet, and two shelves. On the shelf to her left were a small sink and some soap, where she washed her face and then turned to the other shelf. On the shelf were a small refrigerator, a coffee pot, and a microwave. Inside the fringe she knew was a pack of cookies, but yawning, she decided to just go to bed. So she exited the small room.
She went over the dresser and pushed the drawer closed. Then kicking her shoes off, she fell onto the twin size bed. She was snoring before she hit the covers.
Three days later she awoke. Standing up, she fell back onto the bed looking up to the ceiling. She started to think out loud. "That was a nice nap, now I'm hungry." She sat up on the bed. "I'm thinking waffles(2)(now the 2nd one, get it), maybe with strawberries." She stood up again and made the bed. Walking over to her briefcase she opened it. Inside she saw the bent folder General What's-His-Name had given her. "This should be worth some laughs. Case number 21, Top Secret, hmm." When she opened the folder, it was so packed full all the paper flew everywhere. "Darn it." She knelt down to pick up all the paper.
"What's this?" She picked up a small glossy piece of paper. Realizing she was looking at the back, she flipped it over. "A snapshot. Darn, I thought it would be something exciting. And all it is is a picture of some Isbalite guy, with a weird scar on his face. Oh, well." She scooped all the papers back into the folder and put the folder in her briefcase.
"Central has a very good Waffle House. Time to leave anyway; I don't want to chance another annoying meeting with What's-His-Name. I really need to get his name sometime." She stood up and placed another change of clothing from her dresser in the briefcase, under a small first aid kit. The kit looked as if it had seen way too many days last century sometime. Then going back into the second room she withdrew the cookies from the fringe and placed them along side the first aid kit. Closing the briefcase with amazingly no difficulty, she picked it up. "Time to go get some waffles!" With that she exited her quarters, locked the door, and got on the first train heading to Central.
Leaving the train station, she sighed at the crisp morning air. "What a beautiful morning. Now the Waffle House is … over … there!" Walking swiftly into a major business district, full of large ugly buildings. She quickly came across a small diner with a giant waffle on top of it, squished between two of the dull business buildings. Its front door was carved to look like a waffle, complete with a fresh layer of paint and something that looked like maple syrup. As she looked up at the Waffle House she could see a large hanging sign that said, 'Waffle House'. Opening the door to the small diner, a bell rang her entrance. She sat in a booth next to the side window, which only showed a dull wall. Sitting here she could see the rest of the Waffle House.
The place was still like she remembered. The booths still sat on the very edges of the room, while square tables sat scattered throughout the restaurant, painted yellow and orange. The room was still made out so if you wanted to have a party, you could just move the tables and dance the night away. On the wall behind her were several pictures. Most showed how the diner hadn't changed over the years, but the bottom row had six different pictures, one more than she remembered, of all the past owners. They all had a metal plate labeling them below the pictures, stating their names, when they owned the diner, how long they lived and some special they had done for the diner. All the owners' pictures were of young women in their early twenties, they all looked very similar, but this to be expected since the diner has been owned by the Waflens since it was founded.
Just as she began thinking about a past not forgotten, a waitress pulled up in her roller blades.
"Can I help you, young lady?" the middle-aged waitress asked brightly.
Nearby, two boys sat listening to a man who amazingly kept rambling on about his daughter, Elysia, without even stopping to inhale. The older brother, who was sitting slumped in a chair, who was short for his age ("who said that?"). Was Edward Elric the Full Metal Alchemist. His younger and much taller ("I'll show you tall") brother, sat politely in another chair, was Alphonse Elric. His soul was bonded to a suit of armor. As they sat trying not to fall asleep, a loud grumble came from Ed's stomach.
When everyone began to stare at Ed, Lisa was able to break into Maes gabbing, "Why don't I take the boys to lunch? It is three."
Maes Hughes looked up at Lisa, "That's a great idea, why don't we all go. None of us have eaten yet. Then I can tell you all more about my little Elysia." A small groan erupted from somewhere in the room, but still everyone was hungry and in need of a break. So by the time they left the building, over twenty people were going to lunch with them.
Once outside Ed, whispered to Lisa, who was leading the pack, "Thanks for trying to get us out of there. Even if it backfired."
Smiling back, she replied happily, "It's okay. Hopefully his mouth will be too full to talk, much. Anyway, this gives me a great opportunity to take you to a cool restaurant."
"Where are we going?"
"We're going there." She pointed to a small building up ahead. "The Waffle House."
They entered the small diner to find it almost totally deserted, except but for one woman in a booth. Maes recognized her instantly.
Walking over to her, "Hey Renée, how's it going? Long time no see."
"Yeah, I just arrived in town. I was planning on stopping by later, to see how things have been going."
Almost interrupting her, Maes practically shoves a picture up her nose, "Look at this, isn't she the cutest. …" Renée sat trapped listening to Maes blabbering about his daughter.
Stepping back a little, Lisa whispered to Ed and Al out of the corner of her mouth. "That's the Bloody Cat Alchemist." Both boys flinched at this, Al making a loud 'clunk' noise when he settled back evenly onto both feet.(3)
Ed whispered back, slightly afraid of what the answer might be, "What? You're not serious, are you?"
Looking like Ed had said something funny, she continued, "Oh, don't be silly, it's not that bad. She couldn't hurt a person, let alone a cat. She got her name for two reasons. The reason for bloody is that she can't perform alchemy."
Both boys gave her a strange look, and Al asked, "Isn't she an alchemist?"
"Yes, and no." This earned her a stranger look from the boys. "She can't, but her blood can. No one is quite sure how, I'm not even sure she does. This makes it so her blood could become a very deadly weapon, or a healing miracle." Seeing the confused looks she explained, "Think about it, to be able to literally do alchemy on the problem. Curing individual cells, removing inoperable tumors, and other problems." Shaking her head, she seemed to come back to earth. "Well, there are no accounts of her ever hurting anyone, not even rumors, but many cases of her healing people. The cat is because of her attitude towards the military and orders, she is even known to some as the cat of the military. Let me explain. Have you ever tried to command a cat? I'll look at you and do whatever it feels like. She nearly drove her first commander into an early retirement, after only a month. She regretted that later when her nickname arose. Her first commander went to his commander to try to get her out of his command. He told his commander, 'If you don't remove that bloody cat from my staff, I'll go insane.' Well, the name floated around a little while and when the Fuhrer heard it, well, she became the Bloody Cat Alchemist."
Both boys stood in a sort of information overload kind of stance, until Ed asked, "What about the uniform then, isn't it military protocol?"
"That is one of my favorite loop holes," Lisa said, giggling, "It's against the rules to have any color but white socks on, while in uniform. Well, she wears black socks, thus making it against orders."
Renée finally able to break into Maes continuing chatter, laughing, "I see you haven't changed a bit, Motor Mouth. Why don't we push some tables together and all eat together?"
Roy Mustang broke in, "That's a great idea Armstrong, Havoc, push some tables together."
Armstrong stood flexing his muscles, his shirt inexplicitly missing, saying, "That will be an easy task, for me at least." Soon Armstrong and Havoc had pushed eighteen tables together in two rows.
Ed found himself sitting near one end of the table with Al sitting next to him; on his other side was Renée.
Maes sitting down across from Renée saw Renée and Ed sitting next to each other, and he rushed to introduce them. "Oh you two haven't met yet. Renée this is Edward Elric, the Full Metal Alchemist, and Ed this is Renée, the Bloody Cat Alchemist. Oh, dam, that's not as bad as it sounds."
Renée interrupted Maes smiling, "It's okay. Lisa already filled them in, or did you not hear the clunk when they flinched, while you were talking to me." Shaking Ed's hand, she noticed that he wasn't wearing a glove. "Don't you have a glove? Syrup would wreak that auto-mail, and Ms. Rockbell wouldn't be happy if you wreaked her work, again."
Looking a little stunned by her general knowledge, "Ah yeah, oh, this is my little brother Al."
Renée shook Al's hand as well, saying, "It's nice to meet you. Your father is a very gifted, idiot."
Before they could respond, the bubbly waitress suddenly pulled up to their tables. "Hello, are you already to order?" After taking everyone's orders, Renée asked the waitress to delay hers, she skated into the back. Maes broke through all the attempted small talk, and started to talk about Elysia. Luckily the waffles soon arrived.
Almost everyone was done eating when Maes asked, "Hey Renée, what does that general expect you to do now? It should be worth a few laughs."
"I don't know, I was hungry. I didn't really look. All I saw was a picture before I shoved the folder in my briefcase." Renée answered uninterested, sipping her malt.
"Well, what was the picture of, then?"
"Some guy."
Maes looked at her frustrated, "Just spit it out. What does he look like?"
Sighing, "If you really care that much. The picture just shows an Isbalin guy. You know normal looking, brown skin, and red eyes. Almost perfectly normal except for his white hair and a scar on his face." The whole table fell quiet.
Maes now sounding more scared than interested asked, "What sort of scar?"
"A white X, on his face. Why?" Sipping her malt she looked around. Sounding confused Renée asked, "Why is everyone silent all of a sudden?"
Mustang was the first one to break the silence. "You been out of state recently visiting Drachma(4), so you haven't heard. You just described an Isbalin called Scar. He's been killing State Alchemists. He's murdered several so far, and many other people who have gotten in his way. He's even gone after Full Metal a couple of times. No one really knows where he is right now, although it is thought he may be wounded." Even though he had spoken softly, everyone had heard him.
Picking up her briefcase off the floor, Renée rifled through it. Pulling out an official looking piece of paper, "Well that explains 'put him out of action.' Well now, what am I going to do about this?"
Almost everyone had left, leaving only Renée, Ed, Al, Lisa, Armstrong and the occasional waitress in the now empty feeling diner. Ed was finishing off fifths with Armstrong, while Al and Lisa played a card game. Renée was sorting through many pieces of paper that had been in the folder, taking up the four nearest table and one behind her. The only thing from the folder still in her briefcase was the picture.
She was holding a page closely to her face, going over one of the paragraphs of outrageously small print, when she jumped from her chair yelling, "Ah!" Grabbing a pencil from behind her right ear, she circled some of the print in the middle of the paragraphs.
Lisa looked up from her cards, "Find the loop hole?"
"No, I found Big Foot.(4) Of course, I found it." Hugging the page, she began throwing paper randomly back into the folder. "Sometimes I love small print. It says here 'By 'put him out of action' we mean kill him! Give us a body we can give to the dead Alchemist's families.' So if I just stop him from killing people, I'm still not obeying orders. Hah, military protocol and General What Is His Name?"
Ed pushed his plate away from him and pulled another to him. "So, what are you going to do now?"
Now looking a little less excited. "Good question. Well I plan to find him, who knows how yet. Then I'll tag around with him for a while, find a way to redirect him peacefully, and then stop him permanently. Even if he isn't the sort a guy I think he is. I might be able to dig something up out of the library or ask around. Someone has to know something." She looked at the Elrics with a raised eyebrow, "You wouldn't happen to know anything by chance, would you?"
"What sort a guy do you think he is?"
"A good guy, just a little confused."
Al looked over at his brother, "Brother?"
Ed looked over at Al, then at Renée, "Oh alright, alright already. Last we heard Scar is currently in the north somewhere, above North city. He's probably at one of the fugitive Isbalin camps. But, he only attacks state alchemists because of their involvement in the Isbalan war." He stabbed the waffles if front of him viscously, then as a sort of side note, he added, "But when you run across him, be careful. His right arm can do half alchemy because of some tattoos. So, be careful." Before he shoved, amazingly, a whole waffle in his mouth. Then, in a waffle in his mouth sort a voice he added, "Happy?" staring at his brother.
"Tattoos?" Shaking her head she thanked Ed calmly "Yes, I will be careful. Thank you for all your help. I hope you are successful finding the stone." Then in her normal upbeat tone she said, "I better be leaving now." Standing up she looked over at Lisa and Armstrong, "I would appreciate it, if the military wasn't privy to this information, if you wouldn't mind."
"What Ma'am? Sorry, I dozed there for a second, it won't happen again. Did I miss anything important?" Lisa asked, politely.
Looking at Lisa, Armstrong added in his normal, I'm the greatest voice, "I seem to tragically have had a lapse of attention, and I am deeply sorry for that."
Smiling, Renée left the shop, after placing some money on top of the bill. Opening the little door, she heard the jingle of the bell and said goodbye to everyone.
Al turned back to the table, seeing the money she had left on the bill, "Wow, I have to go get Renée, she must have made a mistake! She left a thousand dollars!" Al tried to stand up, but was stopped by Lisa's hand.
"Don't worry about it. I've known her for a couple years, and she hasn't made a mistake yet, unless she does it on purpose. Actually this was the first time I've seen her not knowing about something and its neighbor's cat. Anyway, how do you think her favorite waffle diner has stayed open in such a business neighborhood; and under the same family's ownership for so many years?"
"Oh." Al sat back down.
Ed looked over at Lisa, "How come she knew so much about us, and everyone else?" Shoving another waffle in his mouth looking at Lisa.
"No one really knows. She just does, some claim she can talk to cats, but that's just silly. She gets around a lot, and people talk to her. She probably just keeps her ears open, and connects the dots."
Ed stood up, (how after twenty nine waffles we will never know) "We'd better head out. We still need to check out the library today. Come on Al I'll race you." With that he raced out the door, Al and Armstrong following close behind him.
Walking out of the diner Lisa looked into the distance, "Good luck, Cat." Smiling she turned back towards the boys and continued after them.
1 Authors note: Yeah Author note one! This will be rare, but funny. Unfortunately if this was but in the text it would confuse you so here it is. This has been a false alarm of the Authors note system.
Authors note: Waffles!
Authors note: made you jump! Bwahhha!
Authors note: Country north of the place where the State lives.
Authors note: Big Foot exists! I know because he told me so. In my dreams, after taking cold meds.
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