I could separate them but it is too short chapters so I'm jus writing it as a big one shot. All characters property of Stephenie Meyer

CHAPTER 1

"And my mother took his side could you believe that," I practically yelled at my best friend.

He was the one who saw me through everything. He patiently sat there and listened to me rant about my mother the way he always has since I met him. That's what he did he sat there and listened to me and put in a couple comments here and there it was why I loved him. I couldn't even imagine a life without this boy without the comfort of having someone to talk to without having someone to be there for me; between my mother's three marriages and my father's emotionally distant personality I was alone all the time. Without him I probably would have drove myself to the ledge and jumped already. I wasn't suicidal or anything but when a girl is facing a crisis and she needs someone; he was my someone. Don't get me wrong this was no white in shining armour fairy-tale bullshit; he was far from perfect. When I started to become emotional he became awkward, he never answered my emails on time and unless in dire emergency he tended to be unavailable for the most part, but in the end it didn't really matter to me because the important part was that when I actually needed him; he would be there, and it was as simple as that.

I dried the couple tears that still clung to my face and muttered, "She's just a selfish little bitch."

Edward did what he always did he chastised me, "Don't say that she's still your mother but it's going to be fine everything will be fine."

That was thing about our friendship he didn't give me advice or tell me what to do; he jus sat there and listened and somehow that was enough.

"Thanks Edward I don't know what I would do without you," I hoarsely whispered into the phone all this crying has made me really tired and I feel my eyelids closing as we spoke.

"No problem Bella now sleep everything will be fine," were the last words I heard before I drifted off into an easy slumber.

CHAPTER 2

BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP

I always hated that alarm clock but because I hated it was the reason I kept it. I found that was the only alarm clock annoying enough to get me out of bed. I rolled over and swung my feet off the bed. Getting out of bed was like ripping a Band-Aid off the quicker the better. I grabbed my clothes took a quick shower and went down to get some breakfast. No surprise a sticky note was stuck against the fridge.

Can't make it to dinner tonight.

It's a heavy case.

Money is on the table for food.

There was no "I love you" or "have a good day." Ever since my mom left at thirteen this is what I lived with a man who worked and drank too much and was emotionally void. While my mother partied and married men half her age my dad was dying of a broken heart, and I got the shitty end of the stick. I crumbled the note threw it in the garbage and pocketed the fifty dollars at least my dad was never a cheap. I grabbed a granola bar locked the house got my bag from upstairs and jumped into my truck. It was another normal day just like the previous ones.

When I reached at school I was early as usual and figured to just hang out in my car with the AC blowing for a while then I hear my phone ping stating an incoming message. I fished it out of my bag and opened it.

You good? –E

I smiled at the message and typed back.

Pretty much dad left me $50 and said he wouldn't be home for dinner. Mine if I come over tonight? -B

A couple minutes later

Yup no problem my mom will be happy to see you. –E

After I finished reading the text I heard a knock at the window and there stood my best friend Alice with her spiky black hair, round face, dark eyeliner framing here eyes and a thousand watt smile.

"Bella Bella Bella time to get out of the car," she yelled loud enough that I felt like she was screaming in my ear despite the glass window in between us.

"Okay calm down Alice I'm right here what's got you all in a happy go lucky mood anyway," I asked her climbing out of the car, grabbing my bag and pocketing the phone.

"Oh nothing much just the fact that Jasper asked me out last night," she all but bounced on her toes.

I rolled my eyes at my best friend of course he asked her out last night the boy was in love with her, "I don't know why your so shocked his affections are kinda blatantly obvious."

"Whatever Bella so how's everything."

"Its fine I guess," I don't know why; Alice has been my friend since pre-school and truthfully I only met Edward a couple years ago, but I felt more comfortable baring my soul to him than Alice and I know it doesn't make sense, but it was this way. I think I have a dependency issue, but I'm okay with that.

"I know it's not fine you look like shit but don't worry about it; I understand. You told Edward though," she said the last statement so quietly that I almost didn't hear her. Almost.

In response I just rolled my eyes.

"Your in love with him you know."

"Don't be ridiculous Ali of course I'm not he's just my best friend."

"No you're in love with him and the only reason you stay stationed in this place is because you're afraid he hurts you. Again."

I knew deep down it was true. He had hurt me before and that was partly the reason I stopped thinking about us like that. I met him only about three years ago and at that time we were merely friends, not really close. He kissed me one night, and I thought it could be the start of something, up to now I still remember the details of it, and I knew him well enough that I knew I wanted to be with someone like him. He made me happy and comfortable the way no other guy before him did, but the day after; I found out he was also messing around with another girl and I made a split second decision. I had to decide whether to forgive and forget and pretend that the kiss meant nothing or get really upset and mad and go on a rampage and end our friendship. Even then, there was something about him and even though I felt an attraction I felt that the friendship was probably worth more so I decided to forgive and forget and we never really refer to the attraction that we felt at that time anymore. They see all in due time some feelings go away; those people lied they fade but they never go away. Some people's feelings fade faster though I still felt like some part of him likes me but not enough for him to stop messing with other girls and to want me.

"Alice I don't want to talk about him he's my best friend and that's that," I said dismissively.

"All right Bella whatever you say," she said her lighter mood disintegrated while mine was completely drained out.

CHAPTER 3

The day flew by pretty quickly and before I knew it lunchtime rolled around. I was putting my books in my locker when I hear someone cough lightly and I spun around and there stood Edward. There was something you had to realize about our friendship nothing about it was normal and him talking to me at school by ourselves definitely wasn't.

"I jus wanted to make sure that you're still okay I know you had a rough night," he asked looking straight at me.

"Yea Edward I'm fine thanks nothing worth hanging around me for. You know you're my best kept secret stop making people think we're friends my reputation can take a huge plummet if I'm seen talking to you," I joked with him.

At this I got a huge smile, "yea yea yea I think it might up a few points for you but your right I don't need you climbing the social ladder by using me; do it the old fashion way by spreading your legs for the football team," he joked back using his lopsided grin.

"Get out of here Cullen," a goofy smile on my face.

"Whatever you say Swan," returning the smile.

I watched as he walked away. The key to not going crazy is to not think about your feelings and this is what I've become a pro at doing. I finished cramming my books into my locker and as I closed the locker door Alice stood there glaring at the area that Edward had walked.

"What's wrong with you pixie," I smiled at her.

"Was Edward just talking to you. You guys never talk at school. What is going on? Wait if your such good friends why don't you talk at school."

I sighed. She never understood why we were never friends in public but truthfully it wasn't as complicated at it seems.

"I told you it keeps me out of trouble," I said walking to the cafeteria signalling her to walk with me.

"I just don't get it why are you guys so secretive it's like you have something to hide."

"Alice it's just that I don't want to be hated or picked on because of him. I don't like people hating me and girlfriends don't like best friends that are girls especially ones that they have somewhat of a history with. Imagine if Jasper's best friend was a girl how would you feel?"

"Scared shitless and threatened," she replied with her face scrunched up.

"Exactly. I don't want to be that girl. I don't want girls to want to get rid of me or force him to feel like he has to choose."

"I guess you're right."

"I'm always right," I said shooting her a huge grin.

"All right all right you don't have to be conceited about it."

"The meek shall inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me."

"You gotta stop reading so much."

"Hey in books the girl always gets the guy."

"In real life too they just have to take some form of leap of faith."

I rolled my eyes at her and proceeded to talk all about the new high school drama. We found our usual table and sat down with a couple of our other friends Angela, Ben and Mike and jus continued discussion the social drama of Forks High School. The day was pretty good so far until Edward walked in and on his arm Tanya. Edward was not a player after that one time three years ago he cleaned up his act and dated one girl at a time none of them being me of course, and he was on his second girlfriend at the moment. When the first girlfriend ended I was there listening to him rant and doing my best friend duty I helped him pick up back all the pieces. Every minute he hurt I hurt for him and hated her for breaking his heart. It was hard to watch him broken over another girl but I bared it I was only the best friend that was my duty and life continued.

The current girlfriend was named Tanya she was pretty and smart and cute and nice. They have all these notions that the best friend girlfriend is all wrong for him and I could be so much better but truthfully I wasn't better nor was I worst she was a good girl and as much as I wanted to hate her I couldn't which made my life even more miserable. Every time I looked at him with another girl I was reminded that no matter how much I pretend that my feelings of him have vanished they really weren't and they felt as strong as they were three years ago. I wanted to be with him and didn't want to be with him all at the same time and it just made my stomach feel hollow my head hurt and my heart tighten. I pushed away my food and sat out the rest of the lunch period putting on a mask of complete and utter normalcy like all my lunches for the past three years.

CHAPTER 4

Meet you at my house in two hours going over to Tanya's 3 – E

I rolled my eyes and felt a pang of pain in my chest. You think I would be use to this by now. This was what our friendship was about compromise. I let him have his life and he let me have mine, not that I had much of a life but still. Our friendship many times felt like we were in a relationship just we weren't together but when you get together is when things get complicated, and I valued his friendship way too much for that. I drove to his house and opened the door to be greeted by Esme. Esme was like the mother I never had or the mother I wish I had. I enjoyed my talks with her not as much as my talks with Edward but still she was so comforting and loving something that I didn't have at home. I helped her get dinner ready and we talked about girl things even Rosalie, Edward's sister, came down to help. Rose and me got along pretty well we weren't super close but I always admired her sense of strong-will. It was a characteristic I wish I had. Before I knew it time had flown by and Edward came home; he entered the kitchen and greeted all three of us.

Esme cursed under her breadth, "I forgot to buy the baked beans Edward can you and Bella head to the store and buy some,"

"Yea sure mom," Edward said moving toward the front door me following behind him.

We got in the car and headed there. We fell into easy conversation like we always did discussing our days and what we did. We also steered clear of the Tanya conversation because truthfully I didn't want to talk about it and I don't think he wanted to talk about it with me. When relationships for him were over then it was comfortable to talk about but when in progress the conversation was all too weird.

We reach the store found the bake beans and went to the cash desk when this time Edward cursed, "I forgot to ask mom for money."

"Here I have that fifty dad gave me this morning,"

"No Bella I'm not taking money from you."

"Stop being an idiot you can pay me back if it's such a big deal."

"Okay Fine," I grabbed my purse from my bag and shoved it toward him. Okay you have to understand the purse is a small little wallet and this big eighteen year old boy was attempting to take out money from a small little girly wallet it was a really funny scene and I began laughing hysterically.

He shot me a glare that obviously stated, "Shut the Fuck up."

I then heard the cashier snicker a little she was an old woman and she jus beamed at us, "You two make a lovely couple."

"Oooooh no we're not a couple," Edward basically stuttered as she handed the old lady the fifty.

"Huh too bad you too argue like an old married couple."

The two of us just shrugged thanked her and walked away.

In the car it was awkwardly silent. It was people like that that confused me more could we be more than friends if we really wanted to was it possible could we give it a try. Edward turned up the music and we drove in silence all the way back home.

Chapter 5

We got in the house and gave Esme the beans to which she put on the stove right away, "took you two long enough what did you do harvest the beans."

I laughed and took a spot at the counter, "you know how your son is he wanted the beans all the way at the back of the shelf."

"What people touch the beans at the front it's germ infested."

To this we all three of us rolled our eyes. Edward was a freak but he was our freak.

"Anyway it was Bella who can't walk faster than a turtle without tripping over her feet," he shot back rolling his eyes.

"Fine I'll just not go with you next time."

"Aww but you know I like it when you go with me places," Edward pleaded.

I rolled my eyes at him and his mom and sister looked at us.

Unanimously we shouted, "what?"

Rose just looked at us some more and finally decided to speak, "nothing it's just that sometimes it's scary how much you two favour and old married couple."

The same line twice in less than two hours must be a new record.

"Whatever. It's an unfortunate consequence of being best friends," he smiled at me.

"Yea unfortunate consequence," I muttered under my breadth grateful no one heard me.

About an hour later Carlisle came home and greeted all of us and we all sat around the table and ate. I looked around this was the closest thing to family I have; they were my family. I loved them all. We discussed our days and the politics and the weather and I helped clean up after we were done. Then we all moved into the family room to watch some T.V. Nights like these I loved they remind me of what I thought my life would have turned out if my parents weren't the way they were. I longed for a life like this. When I checked the time it was eleven and realized it was about time I headed home. I signalled Edward that I was leaving and he got up to walk me out like he always did.

Chapter 6

He walked me to my car and we hugged each other goodbye. This wasn't a normal hug though this was one of those holding on to dear life hugs I didn't want to let him go and I felt like he didn't want to let me go so we jus stood there. His chin resting on my shoulder and my face buried into the crook of his neck.

I was not sure what possessed me into talking but I muttered into this neck, "I love this right here with you."

"I love this too," I felt his hands rub up and down my side creating a rhythm.

He kissed my cheek and I lifted my head to kiss his and our lips met together. It was a slow kiss filled with everything I felt for him. I'm not sure how long we stood there but we finally pulled away breathing slightly harder.

I spoke first, "What are we doing Edward?"

"I don't know Bella," he said silently and then in an even quieter voice he added, "don't tell anyone this happened okay I don't want Tanya to find out."

Those words came crashing down on me like a cold bucket of water being splashed hard on my face. Screw that it was more like the bucket being crashed hard against my face.

He obviously say my expression and attempted to hold me tighter, "I mean we were just in the heat of the moment right it was an accident."

I straightened my back, removed myself from his grasp and leaned against my truck, "Yea I guess it was an accident maybe this entire friendship was an accident," I paused and took a deep breath and shakily continued, "I think it's best if we stop being friends from now on," I rushed on, "We just confuse each other don't you see we want each other but you want other people as well and I can sit here and wait for you to decide if you want me and I don't want to sit here and watch you with other girls too. I think it's best that this whatever it is should be over."

He looked at me; pain written all over his face. He nodded and breathed, "I guess your right."

This was it he was letting me go. I climbed into my truck and drove home completely tearless. I walked robotically into my house and settled into my bed. That was it three years of crying nights and long talks over. It was as if the entire friendship never existed and the pain started to settle in. I have never felt so alone in my life. For the first time in three years I called Alice late at night and told her what happened. She stayed on the phone with me all night talking with me and calming me down. It was over; Edward never loved me enough to take a leap of faith with me. It was rough the first couple months seeing him with her and he looked like nothing changed. It got easier though I moved one day at a time once in a while I would get a text from him asking how I was and I would ignore it I wasn't there yet. I still needed time to heal.

Blockbusters are built upon this idea that if you and a guy are best friends then you should end up together and have a long happy life but in real life it doesn't always work that way. Sometimes you simply don't end up with your best friend. Edward was important though he gave me a sense of security and he helped me realize what it was I was looking for in a guy. He made me realize the kind of guy I wanted and the kind of guy I deserved. He was my first love but they say you have to kiss a couple frogs before you find your prince.

I'm planning to end it like this. The story ended like this on their own accord. The way they are now it seemed to be the only realistic ending. I could write a continuation if people want and see what happens to these characters (I don't promise anything) but only if u guys want; if your satisfied with this ending then I'll leave it.