Hello everyone I was listening to one of The Veronica's cds. There is song by them called: Revenge is Sweeter (Than You Ever Were) It's a beautiful song, and if you read this listen to it :) I decided to try and do a little angsty love songfic. It helps get the creative juices flowing writing little diddys like this in between big projects. lol. I hope you like it. Review if you read, even if you think it's crap just let me know. Although, I hope you do enjoy it. lol. Here you go.
Revenge is Sweeter (Thank You Ever Were)
I was sipping on some coffee that I had just brewed, reveling in the taste when it came on. Today I decided to pop in one of the old mix cd's I had kept from my time with Edward. Very rarely did I play any of them, sometimes just to be reminded of him, but today it was because of something very different. Right after we had broken up, during the last day of school, he had handed me this one.
Back then, I had always passed by this song. Most of the music was all very solemn, and pleading for a love lost, but not this one. This one was spiteful, mocking, and unfortunately for me very true. The sobbing started as everything finally hit me.
-I saw it in the news
you told me they were wrong
and I stood up for you
'Cause I believed you were the one-
During my engagement to Edward I had made the decision to break it off, and stay with Jacob. I did love Edward, truly, but Jake made more sense to me. I would never have been able to live without my family, how could I leave Charlie? Besides, Jake told me time and time again how much he loved me, and wanted to be with me. Bullshit.
-You had all the chances in the world
to let me know the truth
what the hell's wrong with you?-
Jake and I had married after I graduated college. Charlie's health had taken a turn for the worse a couple of semesters into my freshman year. So, we had moved in together a little early, and Jake and I lived in his home to help out and whatnot. He died toward the end of my senior year of heart failure, and wasn't able to be there to walk me down the aisle. We still resided in the house, and over the years have had 2 beautiful children; Sophie, and little Jake.
-Are you even listening when I talk to you?
Do you even care what I'm going through?
Your eyes stare and they're staring right through me
You're right there but it's like you never knew me
Do you even know how much it hurt,
That you gave up on me to be with her?
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were-
I was the love of his life; he had assured me of that so many times. I had always been afraid of him possibly imprinting, but he was so sure of us, and I had believed all of his lies. I took a drive down to his job, hoping to surprise him with a lunch, when I spotted him… with her. There he was in the back of the building making out very heatedly with Jessica. Yes, that same Jessica.
-I'm so mad at you right now
I can't even find the words
And you're on the way down
I can't wait to see you burn
You try to make me hate that girl
When I should be hating you
What the hell's wrong with you?-
Instead of telling me, he had kept this well hidden. I had gone back home, called Seth, and demanded that he explain what I had just seen. He was Jake's best friend after all, he would know for sure. Seth said that him and Jessica had met a couple of months ago at bar, while he was with some work buddies. Apparantely they had been sleeping together since then.
"Right away, he figured out what was happening, but he loves you so much he didn't want you to be hurt. He just figured he would stay with you, not wanting to break your heart, and be able to be with Jessica, if only in private. I know its dumb Bells, and I told him he needed to come clean to you, but he wouldn't listen. Loving the both of you is hard for him."
-Are you even listening when I talk to you?
Do you even care what I'm going through?
Your eyes stare and they're staring right through me
You're right there but it's like you never knew me-
-Do you even know how much it hurt,
That you gave up on me to be with her?
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were
(than you ever were)
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were-
After all this time, all this love and memories, it had finally happen. He was a liar. I was his real imprint he had said. What about our children? What about me? I could've been more than happy with Edward by my side. But, no, he had to be so selfish.
I sat at the kitchen table sobs ripping through my chest and lips. I cried for all of the love lost, all of the mistakes, and misunderstandings. I cried for myself, for our relationship, the hardships our children were going to go through once they found out, the reality of the situation, and most of all for Edward.
-Nothing can save you now that it's over
I guess that you'll find out when you're no one
Don't say you're sorry now 'cause I just don't care
Nothing can save you now, nothing
Nothing can save you now, nothing-
Edward had been the love of my life, but I had given up on him. I had let the quantity of the people I was leaving behind, and their potential heartbreak of my absence, overweigh my devotion and destiny with him. I had chickened out, not wanting to leave the safety of this town, over spending an eternity in suspense and uncertainty. I was an idiot.
Staying in Forks with Jake and my family had been a cop-out. Being a normal human girl, living a normal small town life, was safe and sure, or so I had thought. Staying with Edward would have been a constant state of hiding, worry, and trouble, or so I tried to reassure myself.
-Are you even listening when I talk to you?
Do you even care what I'm going through?
You're eyes stare and they're staring right through me
you're right there but it's like you never knew me-
Before today I imagined this song to me was meant to be spiteful and mocking of our relationship, and to be a complete summary of what was going on right now. Edward hated me, and he always knew that Jake would leave me, and is having a good laugh at my expense. Another reason I was balling my eyes out was what I finally realized this song had meant to say.
-Do you even know how much it hurt,
that you gave up on me to be with her?
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were
(than you ever were)
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were-
He had always been saying I love you. I had hurt him by not telling him of how much I actually loved Jake. He was hurting because he knew Jake would not be able to help imprinting on someone else, and he didn't want me to go through this torture. Revenge would be sweet for someone other than him, who only wanted the best for me, who wanted me just because I was me.
A big mistake was made when I chose Jake to be my life. He always knew that this was probably going to happen, and was selfish, because he wanted me anyways. He had fought hard for me, but for no reason except to pass the time before somebody else came along. I would regret that decision forever now, seeing how wrong I really was, and missing Edward's touch more than I had in years.
I was rereading this for errors, and I kind of think maybe my writing in this is too scattered. I really hope you all understand the point I was trying to get across and you understand the actual story. I just wanted to show what would eventually happen if she were to pick Jake, and why I think he's wrong for her. He might love her now, but what about Bella once he imprints? Edward would never have done that, and even if she was scared, she should have been sure of their love and chose differently. Edward's cd to her was a list ditch attempt to make her understand his feelings for her. The deep level with which he loved her with, his devotion, but she wouldnt listen to it for what it really was.
Sorry, I know long rant, I hope I did an alright job on this, I know it's not exactly my best, but let me know what you think please! Have a nice week ya'll :)
