Love my like a boyfriend


AN: Lady-Alpha & I did a thing!This turned out a bit more angsty than I thought but I really wanted to write about one of my fav gay couples and show an emotional conflict within a person who still needs to find out about their sexuality. It doesn't matter what gender you love but sometimes it's hard to accept yourself even though your family and friends support you. I know this is cheesy and all but I'm not gay myself so I can only do so much. I have to say that my friend who is gay and in a relationship with a girl told me some things about her life and experiences she had to deal with and it really inspired me so please don't hate if this isn't a 100% realistic and accurate!


[Korra & Asami]

"I don't want to be your secret anymore!"

The young woman looked at these letters and felt something heavy inside of her body. Her heart was heavy, like a stone and breathing seemed to be very difficult at the moment.

Why was love so hard?

Maybe it wasn't love that was so hard but the people who didn't know their feelings or the once who tried to hide them.

Korra never was a girly person and she never was one to talk about her feelings either. Not because she wasn't allowed to but because she simply couldn't. When she was younger she always wanted to be like her parents. They were strong, kind and loving people and they taught her the true meaning of 'home' and 'family'. She's always been free to be herself and her parents always, always supported her but this was different. It wasn't about her parents and it wasn't about anybody else-

anybody but Asami...

Korra could feel her heart warm at the thought of her best friend Asami. Tall, dark locks, blood red lips and eyes so bright one could get lost looking at them. But Asami wasn't just beautiful! She was intelligent, kind and funny. She was everything that Korra looked for in...in a boyfriend. But Asami wasn't a boy. And she wasn't a friend. (Well, not only a friend) She was a girl.

A girl Korra was pretty sure she was in love with.

It's not like it would be a problem to be gay and in a relationship with a woman. Korra's parents would always accept and love their daughter and Asami's father would feel the same way about his only daughter but the situation was still difficult.

Why?

That was a good question and Korra couldn't find a concrete answer to that. Maybe because she's always imagined that she's marry a man, have children and be like her parents? Maybe it never came to her mind that she's fall for a girl and it overwhelmed her?

Her mind was running and her heart clenched painfully. The young woman knew that she couldn't live without Asami by her side but what would their life be like? Did Asami even want this? A family?

All was blurry.

The first time they kissed was like a nuclear explosion of feelings. They had always been very close but in that very moment they both knew that there was more between them. Asami's lips had been warm and soft and her hair had smelled like flowers and rain. The time had stopped and nothing had mattered.

Was this what love could feel like?

Korra had been with boys before and she couldn't really say that she hated kissing them but this was on another level. It was simply right. Being with Asami, like this, was right. She didn't really now weather she was into girls or not but Korra knew that she was into her best friend.

They had been kissing a lot after the first time it happened. It wasn't awkward. They still were comfortably close and could hang out as friends without strange feelings or insecurities. They were in their own little world, just the two of them.

The only thing that certainly was awkward was being with their friends and family. Asami would take Korra's hand while they were hanging out with the guys or she would pull Korra's her out of her face while her family was present. Nobody seemed to mind. Nobody but Korra. She knew that it was cruel. Whenever they were alone together she would show affection towards Asami but as soon as someone else was around them she'd be cold and distant. Of course, Asami did realize her friend's odd behavior and of course it did hurt her badly.

One day she exploded. Tears in her eyes and her face in pain. She shouted at Korra and begged her to say something but the girl couldn't. She stood there frozen in place not even looking at Asami. Then her shiny green eyes looked empty and she stood still.

"I can't do this anymore!"

Those were Asami's last words before she left a silent Korra standing there like a statue, not moving an inch, barely breathing.

Korra was dumbstruck and she knew she had to fix this eventually but she just didn't know how. She really needed to clear her head so she decided to go home and calm her racing mind. But being home didn't help a bit. Finally tears were shed and Korra's heart broke into pieces...

She loved Asami. This was a simple fact.

Still she was shy and new to these feelings and yes, she was afraid of what might happen if the others were to find out about her relationship with Asami. Yet this girl was her all and not being with her wasn't an option. Korra decided to close her eyes for a bit. She's have to talk to Asami and tell her how she really felt. Asami was kind and understanding, she would know that Korra really loved her deeply. The night seemed endless and the pain unbearable.

It all proved to be even harder though. Korra went to Asami's place because she wanted to be honest and open with her but the young woman left.

There only was a note saying: 'I can't do this, I don't want to be your secret anymore!"