Edward Elric. The hero of the people. The Fullmetal Alchemist. He had gotten the last two names in his quest for the legendary Philosopher's Stone when he was twelve. At thirteen he got his fourth name.

My first fanfic! Can you believe how excited I am!? CAN YOU!? Yeah, you probably can. Anyways… I hope you enjoy the first chapter of The Perfect Number!

Disclaimer: I can a-no touchy-touchy teh FMA, for she ish not-ta my-ine.


It was a dark, rainy morning in East City. The sky was completely blanketed by a large black cloud with no visible end. Lightning struck and one could briefly see two figures approaching the military headquarters; one wearing a black leather coat with red trim, his hands in the red pockets which were set at his hips. The other made his way towards the building at a steadier pace, trying to follow his brother the best he could in his metal body. The boy in the black coat appeared to be staggering along at varying speeds, sometimes limping, other times almost skipping. The armor looked over to his hooded brother concernedly while trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened.

The sparks from their alchemy lit the night sky like the sun; spiked towers springing from the ground with the intention of murder. The armor boy took their temporary employer in his arms and started sprinting towards East City HQ, where he was to report in an hour's time.

The two alchemists continued to barrage each other with flurries of sharp stones and barriers made from the concrete streets. One stone, thrown by hand this time, struck the smaller alchemist on the forehead, sending him quickly to the ground. The other, still determined to finish what he started, sprinted off to find the armor boy only several blocks from his destination.

In a flash of alchemical light, the armor was ensnared in stone, and his employer lay limp and bloody in his arms. He had been crushed by the binds. The killer strode off calmly and gracefully, as if nothing had happened that night. Only the usual business.

Edward had gotten up later and staggered over to his brother Alphonse to free him, only to realize they had failed their mission. They were a whole four hours late, to boot.

It wasn't an unusual scene for the boys. Every time they had been given a new assignment, the other alchemist would come and strike them down as easily, if not easier, than last time. It had all started when Ed had taken the State Alchemy exam when he was 12. He had passed amazingly his first attempt, and due to his outstanding performance in the year that was to follow, he was offered another job. Something that would give him considerably more freedom, and lead him to more sources of information to assist the Elric brothers in their quest for the Philosopher's Stone. He was offered a position as a bodyguard for hire from the State. He was the seventh to accept, and was handed his new coat a week later. It was made from smooth, quality leather and had a silk lining that felt soft on his skin. It still had a hood in the back, but a different symbol printed under it. The official insignia of the Amestrian military guards; a bird-winged dragon reaching for a star with its feathered arms. The number seven was also on it, printed on the front on his left side.

Since that day, the coat had been stained with blood countless times, mostly from Edward. However, seeing the boy's win-to-lose ratio, people had stopped offering them jobs. That snuffed their research for the time being, until a man who insisted to remain anonymous, even until his death in Al's arms, hired them. It had been months since their last opportunity to get out of the office, so they naturally jumped on it. Now if anything, their recent failure would remind people of their unsuccessful career.

Ed stumbled drunkenly through the front doors of East HQ to be greeted calmly by the woman sitting at the desk in the front. It was indeed business as usual. The guards at the gates didn't even flinch when they saw Edward topple over, his brother desperately trying to wake him. Though the worst part was yet to come. He would have to report his failure to his superior officer, Colonel Roy Mustang.

Mustang wouldn't have cared nearly as much as he does if Ed wasn't his subordinate. All of the failures were seriously hurting his reputation. Roy was even getting threats of demotion if he didn't get Ed in line soon. That, of course, simply wasn't an option for the esteemed Flame Alchemist, hero of Ishbal, and aspiring Fuhrer. Roy had gotten very close to burning Edward out of sheer rage the last time he reported a botched mission; he would surely fry Ed to a crisp this time.

The Fullmetal Alchemist stood weakly in front of the wooden door that lead to the Flame and looked up at the frame pathetically. Al laid a comforting hand on his left shoulder, and gave him a slight push.


Yay! And with the first chapter comes the first cliffy! And remember kids, if you have any questions, comments, rants, or drunken slurs concerning the end of the world, ducks, cardboard spaceships, and Dick Cheney, just stick 'em on my crap and I'll participate in various ways!