Hello everyone, fans of south park and people that are bored. I'm Fiddlesticks311 and I bring to you a NEW story straight off the press.
This story came to my mind a long time ago, though I never got round to typing it. The ideas going through my head, making this story more planned and less improvised ever!
Enough of my talking, lets get on with the story! Enjoy!
Every Friday night, Randy and his friends would all meet up at the pub, have a few drinks and have fun. But sometimes, they drink a little too much and make havoc in town. No matte how many times they were caught by the police, no matter how many times there wives would brag how drinking is wrong and how they should spend more time with their families. But do they listen, I think not. Sadly, this was one of those nights.
It started off like any other Friday night; the men would all come home from work, have dinner with their families and then head down to the pub. The first one to enter the pub was none other than Randy Marsh. He knew he had a drinking problem, like when he fought the Bat-dad at the south park little league game finals and the time when he got caught drink-driving and had to attend alcoholic meetings, where he was taught that he was powerless over his drinking problem. Thankfully, his son, Stan, managed to teach him not to drink too much. It did help, he doesn't drink as much as he usually does, but he needs to try harder. So, he has improved a little bit over the months.
So anyway, Randy was the first to enter the pub. The pub was a very popular meeting place for men when they wanted to get away from the real world and hang out. Randy sat on the bar stool at the main counter. The bartender was busy tending to some other customers; he was a plump guy, with a blond goatee and wearing a white shirt and blue jeans. His apron had the south park cows' mascot on it, he was a big supporter of the football team and he went to their every match.
"So Randy, what will it be tonight," He asked as he cleaned a glass.
"The usual please," Randy replied. The bartender went and got a glass from under the table. He went over and filled the glass with cold beer. He then gave the drink to Randy.
The second person who entered the pub, was Gerald
"Hey Randy," called out Gerald walking into the pub. He pulled up a high chair from one of the table and sat next to his pal.
"Hey Gerald," he replied back, "How was work today?"
"Oh the usual," Gerald said," hey Bartender, one beer please," The bartender began to fill up another glass.
More people entered the pub and the group got bigger and drunker.
Two hours pass and everyone is very drunk, most were talking complete gibberish and stumbling all over the place. Gerald was sharing a joke with a few old people sitting next to the window. While Jimbo and Ned were playing a card game with a crowd of young people. Jimbo was winning the game. Randy was watching a football game on the T.V in the corner.
"Well, I think its time that I'd be heading home, it's nearly midnight" Randy said standing up, he wobbled a bit.
"Nonsense," Jimbo replied," We were just about to go into town, would you like to join us?" Everyone was edging Randy to join them. In the end, he gave in.
"O.K then, I'll come into town with you," Randy said, they all cheered.
The next day, Randy woke up lying on the couch. There were empty cans everywhere and the couch and floor was sticky. He was wearing just his underpants and he smelled of fish.
"Uh," he groaned. He got up and looked at the clock, it was twenty to seven. He couldn't remember what had happened the night before. He glanced at the mess of the room. He gasped
"Oh crap, I got to get this place clean," He said," Thank god its Saturday so everyone will still be sleeping," He then got started to clean up. He then went for a shower and got dressed.
A few more hours later, everyone else was up having breakfast. Sharon was cooking some sausages and Stan and Shelly were sitting at the table eating cereal. Randy entered the kitchen after being in the bedroom. Sharon looked up and saw him, she sighed.
"When did you get back from the pub?" Sharon asked him, she knew it was probably late at night.
"Oh, about eleven at night," Randy lied, "I slept on the couch, didn't want to wake you up." He kissed her on the cheek. Shelly muttered something under her breath, something you didn't want to know.
"I'm done," Stan said, he got up from the table and went out the door
"Where're you going?" Randy asked, he was hugging Sharon.
"I'm going to Starks pond with the guys to skate," he replied, he then left the kitchen and out the front door.
"O.K then, have fun," Sharon said.
At the pond, there were only the four boys at the area. Stan, Kyle and Kenny skated together talking about the Terrance and Phillip episode that was on last night. While Cartman was skating round them, showing off like he usually does.
"Oh man, you guys. I'm probably the best skater in the whole world," Cartman said, as he skated past Kyle, Stan and Kenny, covering them with tiny shards of ice. Kyle brushed off his legs.
"No, you're the fattest skater in the world," Kyle said. They all giggled,
"Eh, you're just jealous you can't perform the perfect spin. Like this," Cartman said back, he then skated over to the other side of the pond. He then skated, picked up speed and jumped. He spun in mid air and landed unevenly on the ice. He skated a little bit and slipped. He landed on his back. The other boys burst out laughing, the laughed so hard they slipped on their backs too.
"Ha ha, you guys." Cartman laughed as he got up, the other boys got up too. Cartman looked around the area, scanning for anyone else watching.
"Hey, where are all the girls?" Cartman asked,
"I thought you would know, I think they are at ballet dancing," Stan replied.
"Ballet dancing?" Kenny repeated, he scratched his head. "What's that?"
"That's dancing with classical music and you have to wear dresses," Kyle explained,
"Bah," Cartman spat, "It's just a bunch of gay dancing. It's even gayer if boys do ballet,"
"Did you know anyone that had done ballet before?" said Stan. Everyone shook their heads.
"Well, you'd never see me doing ballet," Kenny said,
"Me too," the others added. It fell silent for a few minutes. They skated for a few more hours until the sky was orange.
"Well, I have to go now," Kyle said looking up at the sky, "I've got relatives at my place from Minnesota staying here for the weekend,"
"Yeah I've gotta go to," Cartman said, "See ya guys," The gang said there goodbyes and went home.
Stan got home ten minutes later. As he opened the door, he noticed a letter lying at the welcome mat. He picked it up. It was addressed to him. Stan opened it and read the letter.
Dear Stanley
You have been accepted to take part in Ballet classes at the South Park community centre in South Park, Colorado. You will attend next week on Saturday at 9am. You will need a white leotard and dance trousers. Hope you can make it there,
Yours sincerely
The official Ballet Federation of Colorado (OBFC)
Stan read it over and over.
"Is this a fing joke?!" He cried. Sadly for Stan though, this wasn't a joke
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