Why am I always alone? Its always dark. I see nothing. And the silence is never ending. I hear nothing but the sound of my own breathing. I clutch at my bare knees as the darkness comes closer. She shake my head trying to keep it away. My fingers entangle with my hair as I try to shake the feeling away. Then I hear beating. A pounding so loud in my head my heart beat just fades away as the sound continues. I want to scream but my voice will not come.
Suddenly my world shatters as light floods my vision. A face appears in my sight first only a blur but becomes clearer. My mother stands over me, her light brown hair falling over my face tickling my sensitive skin as my breathing becomes normal again. Her green eyes are filled with worry as she looks over my small and petit form. My breast raise with my lungs as the breath once again fill my them and my heart pounds within my chest cavity. The older women sat down on the edge of my bed as she put one of her cold hands to my burning forehead. Sweat was dripping down my brow and cheek bones. Her mother's voice was far away as she spoke to me. I looked over to her but my gray eyes were dazed.
I sat up as I felt my strength returned. My pale skinned body was shaking as I tried to focused. I mind went blank as my mother forced me to take some kind of pill as water was held to my lips. The older women with a few gray hairs by her ears and brow tilted my head back slightly again forcing me to take something in my mouth. I swallowed the water and medicine that was placed into my mouth. My trembling body seceded all movement as my mother laid me back down. Damn her. She is putting me back into that darkness and silence.
My eyes flutter closed, every fiber in my young being trying with all it's might to stop the dreaded darkness from coming back. I don't want to be alone! I try to shout but my voice stops in my throat. I glare at my mother with a smile covering her small lips. The darkness consumes me once more.
I look our of the clear glass window that sits on the far side of my wall. The rain is creating rivers on the out side of the window. The sky remind me of my eyes in the morning when I get up, so dark, clouded, unforgiving to the world. But I know soon the skies will lighten from this complex system and find a clear bright blue sky with not a cloud in sight. I love the rain I wish it would never stop being broken by the sun. I wish I could step out in just once. I look down at the black diary that rest in my small lap. I open to the first page and begin writing in my next best friend.
My name is Selone Amaris McFadden. I'm 16 years old and I have only been out of my parent's house 14 times. I know, it's sad right? When you are 16 and you can count how many times you left the house. My parents are afraid that I will 'catch my death' as they put it. I just think they do not want me to have any friends and turn out like my aunts and uncles did with their children. I'm the youngest out of my 23 cousins.
I've been home schooled my whole life. My mother is strict a person, and my father is even worse. They lock me in my room even if I just ask to step out of the door for a second. I do not know anyone other then my parents, and I have only met my other family a few times. Hannah, the second youngest cousin who is 20, says that my parents are too over protective and I need to break out while I can. I only shook my head and turned away. I knew she was right but I could not hurt my parents like that. Even if they are keeping me in a cage.
I lift my stormy gray eyes up as a door opens, it' my closet. The black book closes and clutters to the floor as I stand up being drawn to the old wooden door. My bare pale feet walk over to the opening and peer inside. This has never happened before. My gentle hands touch the old grain of the soft wood. Nothing. My eyes hold a bit of confusion as I close the dark colored door. I shake my head and let it pass, the knob most likely just gave way after so many years. My strawberry blonde hair ruffles slightly as I feel a small gust of wind from behind me as I start to walk back over to my perch on the window sill.
My light eyebrow lifts as I take only the few steps to the door to close it once again, but this time something happens. As I start to close the heavy wooden door a pale hand even paler then mine grabs my arm. I try to scream but my voice is lost, just like all of those nights. I eyes widen my body freezes. Please don't let me go into the darkness, not again. I plea within my mind as my petit form is pulled behind the wooden door and it closes, cutting me off from the world I knew so little about.
N/A: Review and tell me if I should keep going with it. Thanks.
