(A WWE Raw parody based on IMDB's S-Jenkin32-1's idea.)
"And welcome to another pulse-pounding edition of Monday Night Flaw, or at least we'd like to think so. We sure hope we don't dissapoint anybody here this evening."
"Fresh from last night's lame Pay-Per-View event,
Money in the Tank, we here at the World Watered-down Enterprise present this night's program."
"I'm Michael Bowl along here with Burger King. This is Flaw!"
Surprisingly, tonight's show did not kick off with the usual long,
dragged out, promo, but actually opened up with a match. Oh my!
Triple Threat to Determine #1 Contender for the WWE Championship Randy Orton v. Edge v. Chris Jericho
MB: Here we have a match to determine the number one contender to the title held by Shame-Us. We have Chris Jericho, a wrestler who's deffinately not being held down.
BK: All 6 of his title reigns were impressive even if they were short and forgettable.
MB: I'm sure it'll be Randy Boreton or Edge as Jericho has basicly no chance of winning.
BK: Has our mystery GM sent us any e-mails yet?
MB: Yes, our GM asks why nobody cares about this mystery.
BK: Yeah, it's most likely Stephanie. Or Shane returning.
MB: Right now, Vinnie Mac Daddy is negotiating to bring in Kermit the Frog as a guest host.
BK: Awesome! Time for our Seven Eleven commercial.
MB: We're back now with this sports entertainment match.
BK: Hopefully nobody noticed that Victory Road was better than our show last night.
MB: Too bad that we're a kid's show now.
BK: Hopefully no one bleeds tonight.
MB: And it figures, Randy "RKO" Boreton wins the match and becomes the number one contender.
BK: Edge is very angry at Chris Jericho.
Edge: It's your fault I lost that match.
Jericho: I should've gone to TNA when I had the chance.
Edge: Yeah, and Christian Cage should've never have left TNA.
(Suddenly, Nexus enters the ring, immitating the nWo.)
Wade Barrett: We are taking over the World Watered-down Enterprise and we'll start by ending Edge's career.
(Nexus clobbers Edge NWO style!)
MB: Oh my, Chris Jericho tries to allign himself with Nexus, but they have no need for a jobber like him.
BK: Nexus attacks the has-been!
(As Nexus heads to their private locker room, Bosh Matthews, acts like Wade Barett is Hulk Hogan or something.)
Bosh: Excuse me sir, I'm very afraid right now. What do you think about your match with the world's strongest man, Mark Henry tonight?
Wade: If that fat slob is so strong why is he always losing? The best he could do was the ECW title that no one here cared about. Not even the WWE sheep gave a care.
(WWE World Champion Shame-Us walked by.)
Shame-Us: Um, I like have a plan or something and need to talk to you, even though we're enemies.
Wade: Let's step inside.
Shame-Us: Um, not with the rest of Nexus. Or are they NWO? I meant, can we talk outside?
Wade: Forget it. I'm going back with me Nexus-ites!
(Michael Bowl now has John Xena on the Byteintron.)
MB: John Xena, your legion of mindless supporters want to know your feelings on your typical boring match last night on our Pay-Per-View with barely any build up to it, and about the NWO, I mean, Nexus.
John Xena: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
MB: AMAZING!
J. Xena: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
MB: Anything else?
Xena: I must talk to Hollywood... er... I mean, Wade Barrett. Because if you can't beat them, join them.
MB: Oh my, the Chump is gonna join the Wolfpack, I mean Nexus!
Eve Torres v. Maryse w/ Ted Dibiase
BK: Puppies! Puppies!
MB: We're a children's program now.
BK: Oh yeah.
MB: Ted DiBiase, Jr. has joined us.
TD: It's great having a legendary father in the biz.
MB: The match is over all ready! Eve wins!
(Ted DiBiase, Jr. former member of Team My Father Got Me My Job entered the ring to argue with the referee as Maryse had her foot on the rope.)
BK: It's John Morrison!
MB: He clobbers Teddy!
(After a commercial cofirming that Kermit has been signed, we see WWE Champ Shame-Us in the ring.)
Sham-Us: Sorry kids, John Xena won't be getting a title shot for a long time, but Uncle Vince may change his mind. Who Knows? I tried to make a truce with Wade Barrett but he made me look like a fool. I suppose now at Summer Sham I'll be taking on Randy Bore-ton now.
(The Mizzzz comes to the ring with his money in the tank briefcase.)
Mizzzzz: Beware, I'll be coming after you for a title shot at any time because I'm the Mizzzzzzzzzzzz and I'm suposedly awesome.
GeneralMail Alert Yawn!
MB: Our mysterious GM who no one cares about has stated you to stay here for some unknown reason.
Shame-Us vs. Evan Borne XXXVI
MB: Wow, we get to see this match again.
BK: Doesn't Shame-Us win everytime?
MB: Of course.
(As the crowd went for popcorn and cola, Shame-Us finally put BOrne away.)
BK: Mizzzzz attacks Shame-Us! I did not see this one coming at all.
MB: Neither have I, Burger.
BK: He's begging the referee to start the match.
MB: Here comes R-Truth!
(Mizzzz and Truth brawl.)
Santino & Kozlov v. Ryder and Regal
MB: Do we really have to commentate on this match?
BK: Gee, I hope not.
(The fans started throwing a beachball around.)
MB: Finally, the match ends.
BK: Who won?
MB: Do you care?
BK: Oh, I hear Santino's music. I guess they won.
Wade Barrett v. Mark Henry
MB: Let's see if the World's Strongest Man can win a match here.
BK: The whole WWE Universe has to band together to fight off Nexus.
MB: We promised that the winner of NXT would be awarded with a WWE contract. I'm sure the reason all the contestants joined forces has absolutely nothing to do with WWE wanting to keep all of them as a cop out.
BK: Oh no.
MB: Well, as expected, Mark Henry loses. Again.
(Oh my, Wade Barratt calls John Xena into the ring.)
John Xena: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
Wade: Whatever. We want you in Nexus to boost up our T-Shirt and arm band sales.
MB: Oh no, please, don't do it, John!
BK: Obviously he won't actually join.
MB: True.
John Xena: I can't do it! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
I've put my own team together to wipe you guys out at Summer Sham.
Here is Edge, who I only feuded with for so long. Here is John Morrison who is nothing without Melina. Now here is R-Truth, when he was with TNA, he was NWA World Heavyweight Champion, but here in WWE, he just sucks. Oh, and here is the Great Krapie.
And Chris Jericho has recovered. And now here is Bret Hart!
MB: Okay, Bret had a match with Vince and needed the help of his family because he couldn't do much. Then he goes against Mizzzzz and had to make it a no holds barred match so for the Hart Dynasty could help him. Yeah, good one guys.
BK: So long from everybody at Monday Night Flaw!
