Title: People Watching
Pairing: Blaine Anderson / Kurt Hummel / Sebastian Smythe (aka Sebklaine)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1497
Warnings: None.
Summary: When you work at a dance club, people watching is always a great way to pass the time.
Disclaimer: Not my characters. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: A small bunny that attacked me last November.


"Okay, what about those three?" Sarah pointed at the three men who just walked in the bar.

Tonya turned to observe the guys in question. One was tall with perfectly styled hair and pants that looked painted on. He had his fingers tangled with a shorter man with barely tamed curls wearing a bright purple bowtie. The third guy was also tall but while the first looked like a Marc Jacobs model, this one looked more American Eagle.

"Painted-on-Jeans and Bowtie are dating, American Eagle is their tag-along friend," Tonya finally replied.

Sarah shook her head. "I think they're all just friends."

Fifteen minutes and three shots later, Bowtie and Painted-on-Jeans were making out while American Eagle sat beside them looking bored.

Tonya nudged Sarah and pointed at the three. "Care to change your assessment?"

Sarah frowned. "Maybe they just hooked up."

Tonya snorted and went back to tending the bar.

They'd been at the bar an hour when Sarah sidled back up to Tonya's side. "I revise my opinion."

"What?"

Sarah pointed at the three guys, now down to two, Bowtie and American Eagle. American Eagle was leaned close to Bowtie, speaking in his ear with his hand pressed intimately into Bowtie's lower back. "I think Painted-on-Jeans and Bowtie are dating and American Eagle wants to hit that."

"Or is hitting that." Tonya cocked her head toward the corner where American Eagle was now sucking on Bowtie's neck. Bowtie had his head tipped to the side and his eyes were closed; an expression of ecstasy on his face.

"American Eagle better hope Painted-on-Jeans doesn't catch them; I think he could take him," Sarah replied.

Tonya giggled.

"What are you two up to now?" Brad asked, placing his tray on the bar between them.

Sarah indicated the spot where Painted-on-Jeans had just returned, seconds after American Eagle stopped molesting Bowtie's neck. Bowtie lit up and eagerly leaned in for a kiss from Painted-on-Jeans.

"Those three?" he asked, already knowing the game Sarah and Tonya played, trying to figure out the stories behind the various patrons that frequented the bar. "Totally in a threesome."

"No way. Bowtie is cheating on Painted-on-Jeans with American Eagle," Tonya told him.

"Painted on..." Brad shook his head. "You two are ridiculous. And I'm telling you. Threesome."

Sarah rolled her eyes and grabbed her drinks. "Whatever."

Later in the evening, watching the three on the dance floor, Tonya was starting to think Brad was right.

"Three whiskey sours, four shots of Jager, and... what?" Sarah asked, staring at Tonya.

"I think Brad is on to something," Tonya said.

"Oh, whatever, just because he's gay doesn't mean … oh..." She'd spotted the trio on the dance floor. Bowtie was dancing, facing American Eagle, while Painted-on-Jeans held his hips. Every few minutes he'd lean back on Painted-on-Jeans' shoulder to him deeply. Then he'd lean forward and drag American Eagle in to kiss him as well.

Both girls watched this process for several minutes. Finally Sarah huffed. "Obviously Bowtie is forcing Painted-on-Jeans to participate in this. He can't be willing to share his boyfriend like that."

Brad, who'd come up to the bar while they were watching the boys interact, threw his arms around both of their shoulders. "Are you two still on this?"

Sarah threw her hand out in the direction of the men. "Painted-on-Jeans is being forced into a threesome because of his love for Bowtie. It's not right."

Brad tugged them in closer. "I'm telling you ladies, those three? Happy, committed threesome. No one is being forced to do anything. Everyone is happy."

Tonya turned to look at him suspiciously. "How do you know?"

"It's a gay thing," he replied with a grin.

Sarah elbowed him in the side. "I'm a lesbian and I don't get that impression at all."

Brad pointed at the dance floor. "How about now?"

Both girls turned back to find the threesome. Only now there were only two. Painted-on-Jeans and American Eagle were practically fucking on the dance floor. Bowtie was nowhere to be seen.

"What... I don't even..." Tonya stuttered.

About that time, Bowtie appeared at the bar, sweaty and flushed and grinning like mad. "Hey Brad, how's it going?"

Brad released the girls and stepped forward. "Good, Blaine. How are you? How's the album coming?"

"It's amazing! We're laying down the final tracks now. Kurt and Seb actually had to drag me out tonight." He laughed.

"Speaking of your boys," Brad winked. "How are things going? It's been what... three years now?"

Blaine blushed and looked down bashfully for a moment. "We couldn't be happier." He glanced back at the two on the dance floor, still lost in each other. "Actually, I'd better get back out there before they get started without me."

"It looks like they already have," Sarah muttered.

Blaine turned to her with a laugh. "Trust me, they know I'm gone. The three of us," he looked at the boys on the dance floor fondly, "we work well together."

"That's awesome. Truly." Tonya pushed three glasses toward him. "Shots on the house. Congrats on your three years."

"Thank you," Blaine told her with a smile before grabbing the three glasses and heading back to his lovers.

Tonya glanced at Brad. "You're such a cheater."

He grinned at her. "What?"

"It's a gay thing, my ass," Sarah grumped, nudging him with her hip.

"When will you ladies learn that I am the master of all things relationship?"

"Maybe when you actually get one," Tonya replied.

Brad stuck out his tongue and sauntered off.

Back on the dance floor the three boys were lost in their own world.


Later that night

Sarah was wiping down tables by the exit when the three boys she and Tonya had been speculating on finally stumbled off the dance floor, arms wrapped around one another.

"I don't know why you always insist on pretending you and Blaine are cheating behind my back when we go out like this. It never lasts," Painted-on-Jeans was saying.

"Whatever, Kurt, you know you think it's hot," American Eagle replied.

Wedged between them, Bowtie... Blaine, pressed his nose against Kurt's. "Yeah, baby, hot." He drew out the H and cut off the T; he was obviously beyond plastered.

Kurt drew his face back and waved his free hand under his nose. "I'll tell you what's not hot, the fact that your breath smells like a distillery."

Blaine immediately pouted and turned to his other boyfriend. "Seb, Kurt says my breath smells bad."

Seb leered at him. "We'll just have to put something in your mouth to help with that."

Blaine gave him a grin that was all teeth for about five seconds before he suddenly frowned.

Sarah, who'd been surreptitiously watching them, knew that frown. She scrambled for the nearest trash can.

"I don't feel so..." Blaine threw himself over the trash can, shoved in front of him just in the nick of time, and vomited.

Kurt sighed but still rubbed his back gently. "What am I going to do with you, Blaine Warbler?"

Sebastian put his arm around Kurt's waist, stroking Blaine's hair at the same time. "You're probably going to give him water and aspirin and tuck him in." He paused. "And then, if I'm lucky, you'll give me a blowjob."

Kurt frowned at him. "Remind me again why I love you two."

"You mean, despite the fact that I'm a pervert and Blaine's a lush?" Sebastian answered, totally unabashed.

"Yes, despite those facts."

Sebastian grinned and leaned forward to rub his nose gently against Kurt's. "Because we love you."

Blaine, who appeared to have recovered from his recent bout of nausea, stood and nodded solemnly. "We really do, Kurt."

Kurt stared at them both for a moment before kissing Seb's cheek and brushing his thumb across Blaine's cheekbone. He smiled softly at them both.

"Come on, Lushy, let's get you home before you defile any more trash cans." Kurt wrapped his arm around Blaine's waist.

Sebastian did the same on Blaine's other side. "What about the second part of my plan?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "If I have to tend to drunken Blaine, I think Ideserve the blow job."

"I think that can be arranged." Sebastian reached down and pinched Kurt's ass, causing the other man to yelp and smack Seb in the shoulder. "Now come on, let's see if we can get him home before he starts..."

Blaine suddenly gasped between them. "OH MY GOSH! I LOVE THIS SONG! TONIIIIIIIIGHT... WE ARE YOUUUUUUUNNNNG!"

"Or not." Kurt said with a sigh. But his eyes were fond and his lips twitched as he and Sebastian exchanged a look and started dragging Blaine from the bar.

Sarah watched them go before pulling out her phone and sending a quick text to her girlfriend.

To Anna: "You know that thing you suggested with Audrey a few months ago? Let's talk about that tonight when I get home."

From Anna: "K xoxo"