A/N

This story takes place all the way back in season 5, it will span the episodes of S.5 E.16- Early Season 6, depending on where I take it. :)

I hope you enjoy- and yeah.

I don't have a beta, so I apologize for mistakes.

p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"'Dark Side of the Moon'/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Sam and Dean were dead./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Castiel didn't think that he would particularly care; Zachariah would personally see Michael and Lucifer's vessels back to Earth with a quick snap of his fingers, anyway. Yet, the moment Castiel had felt an unpleasant shift in his equilibrium he flew as fast as he could to get to the grungy little motel room that the Winchesters had been occupying for the night and the moment he appeared in that room… He saw them, both of them, flat out on their respected beds with bullet shrapnel littering their chests. The Winchester's eyes were lifeless and wide open and Castiel found himself avoiding their deadly stare. The angel was surprised, though at the same time he wasn't./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"He faced death every day; sometimes he was even the distributor of it. This was different, though. He had just seen them yesterday, alive and well and laughing. Sam and Dean had been drinking and they had offered Castiel a beer, but he declined- knowing that with all the apocalypse crap he'd probably drink until he was well passed out. Then Castiel bored them with questions on why mortals found drinking appropriate when death was practically nipping at their heels. Dean had then made some offhandish joke about Sam needing a haircut and about Castiel's impeccable charm that the angel hadn't understood, though he was sure Dean's voice was dripping with sarcasm. Even if he didn't laugh at the joke, he… understood, and for once Castiel even forgot about the apocalypse. Even if it was forgotten for only five minutes, Castiel still indulged in his brief new-found peace./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Now, Sam and Dean weren't laughing and the apocalypse was as inevitable as ever./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"And for a split second, Castiel couldn't help but feel alone./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"He felt… odd. Angels weren't supposed to feel anything, let alone sympathize with humans. People wondered why he had rebelled, and he supposed that this was it. So he pursed his lips before turning away from the beds. His usual emotionless face returning as he leaned up against the half kitchen counter./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"He pulled himself from his momentary moment of self-pity and forced himself to actually emthink./em/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"The impending apocalypse wasn't looking too good, neither were their plans for stopping it. Plan after plan had fallen through and the chance of one of the brothers claiming yes to possession was approaching more rapidly than Castiel had ever imagined./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"God was their only hope- if Castiel could manage to locate the man. It was hard to find someone when they obviously didn't want to be found./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"emJoshua./em The messenger for God, himself./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"He would know where the big man was- he emhad/em to know./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Problem was, Joshua was located in the Garden of Eve- in emHeaven./em The one place where Castiel wasn't just allowed to pop in and out whenever he pleased. Once again it was up to the Winchesters, Sam and Dean would have to find Joshua before Zachariah found them./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"The only bump in the road was figuring out how to get through to them. There wasn't exactly a Heaven telephone service that would allow him to call one of the two up. He'd have to settle for something more… oblique./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Castiel grabbed his beige trench coat by the lapels, pushing it more to the side of his body as he settled in one of the chairs that had been the scene of last night's commodities. What made the angel even more nostalgic was the fact that their beer cans still sat, discarded on the small motel table. He shoved them away. Folding his hands upon the slightly sticky table he closed his eyes, inhaling a deep breath as if to focus. His 'angel mojo', as Dean liked to classify it as, was already running dangerously low, but he had to try. This was their last viable option./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"He hated to admit it, but this was literally a life or death situation and he was leaving it up to the Winchesters, if he could contact them./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Castiel sat shockingly still, his face solemn and nose pointed slightly up in the air. He took shallow breaths, his focus centered on breaking through./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"After minutes of waiting, focusing, and hoping, the angel wasn't hearing nor feeling anything. All hope for contacting Dean (not that Castiel didn't like Sam, Dean and him just shared a more… profound connection) presumably lost as he prepared to slump back into that unbearably uncomfortable motel chair./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"No quicker as his hope had been discarded, it was resurrected. A feeling in his gut steadied as soft static invaded his brain./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Dean?" he called out hesitantly, his eyebrows furrowed as he sat in his trance, hoping that Dean would answer him. The angel wanted badly to give in to his mortal habit of drumming his fingers against the table, it would happen often when he was ticked or nervous. Right now it was the latter provoking the habit. He refused to give in; as it might break his concentration- he could already feel Dean slipping away from him./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"The static was replaced. Castiel heard the sound of confused and frantic footsteps moving around whatever device he was using to break through to Heaven. Though, no words were spoken./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Dean," Castiel stated again, less of a question and more of a demand for the daft man to answer the 'phone'. This was emimportant./em/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Somewhere in the distance a door opened and closed, yet Castiel wasn't sure if it was in the motel room or if it was happening in Heaven. Castiel hoped to God that it was happening in Heaven, he couldn't risk breaking this connection as it was hard enough to achieve in the first place./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Cas?"/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"emFinally./em/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Cas?!" Dean sounded confused and excited at the same time, which was another thing that puzzled Castiel. How could mortals stand to feel more than one emotion at a time? He kept the question to himself, saving it for the next time they all went drinking./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Dean," Castiel confirmed, speaking in his normal gravely tone. "You have-"/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Cas! You need to get me out of here, man. I think the Trickster-"/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Dean. You're dead."/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"It was painstakingly obvious that Dean had no idea what was happening and with limited time on both of their hands he had no choice but to break it to him even./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Oh, uh, well thanks for candycoatin' it, hotshot!" Dean's scowl was evident in his words. "Now how the hell do I get out?"/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""You can't."/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""What do you-?"/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""emNot yet./em"/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Castiel knew that Dean was probably seething, as he always was when attempting to have a conversation with the angel. Castiel was unknowingly vague and Dean couldn't help but get annoyingly aggravated every time the 'Angel of The Lord' tried to inform him of something. Castiel always had the one up./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""What do you mean 'emNot yet'/em?!" Somewhere in Dean's world something slammed against something resulting in an echoing thud in the angel's head. Castiel assumed it was Dean slapping whatever was in reach in reaction to Castiel refusing to help him once again. Even though every time Castiel insisted that he wasn't refusing to help, it was the fact that he emcouldn't./em If he could pull Sam and Dean down from Heaven and have them skip the inevitable confrontation with Zachariah, emhe would./em/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Is Sam with you?" Castiel hadn't heard Dean ask one question about Sam, which was unusually odd for the older Winchester, yet, the angel had no time to worry about the Winchester family affairs. Things had been rough enough between the two as it was./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""No," a pause. "Is he up here too? Where is he?"/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Castiel sighed; this would be even harder than he had anticipated. Crackling noises entered his head and he could feel them disconnecting./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Dean, listen to me," Castiel instructed sternly, not wasting a second. "Do you see a road? A path of some sort?"/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Uh, yes?" Silence followed his words. "Yes."/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"The connection was becoming more difficult to maintain and Castiel continued to attempt and hold it for as long as he could./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Follow it. You'll find Sam if you follow it." Castiel ushered out the words, fearing that this would be the last thing he would be able to say before the call dropped. He needed to give Dean just enough information to formulate some sort of plan./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Cas! Wait-"/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"The connection had been lost./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Castiel's shoulders slumped forward, his hands falling into his lap and off the disgustingly sticky table left behind by the Winchesters and their careless drinking habits. He would need to rest if he wanted to talk to them again, and he knew he'd have too. Hopefully Dean was intelligent enough to follow his instructions, following the road emwould/em lead him to his brother, and from there he'd attempt to communicate again./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"For now- he was to rest./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"…/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"The angel had never been a fan of sleeping, so he didn't sleep. He didn't need too, anyway. So he sat slumped uncomfortably in that motel chair, his eyes closed to imitate the idea of sleep. Castiel's hands were folded comfortably upon his lower abdomen as he waited for the right time to call Dean back with their new instructions./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Somewhere a door opened, and for a moment Castiel couldn't tell if it was Dean's attempt at calling him back or if it was actually happening within the room he was resting in. The angel's bright blue eyes shot open, immediately focusing on the smaller figure that filled the doorway entrance to the motel room./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"emMortal. Good, he wouldn't have to kill her./em/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"She wore a half apron, a cleaning cart trailing behind her as she pushed open the door. She barely had time to make it into the room before her eyes were fixed on the two dead men lying in their respected beds, her jaw going slack as her mouth opened wide in shock. Castiel was up before she could scream, materializing before her pressing two fingers to her forehead. Her body fell limp into Castiel's arms and he carefully dragged her outside, placing her and her cart out on the small back porch that came with the room./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"He brushed the palm of his hands on his beige coat before placing the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the outside of the motel door./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"…/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""What are you doing?" Sam's unmistakable voice echoed in his head as he sat, content, in that uncomfortable chair./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Cas talked to me through the car radio, maybe he can do something like that again," There was a pause between Dean's word and Castiel begin to muster up some more 'angel mojo' to break through to them./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Dean?" Castiel blurted, a vision materializing in his brain as he began to be able to emsee/em them./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Cas!" The two brothers turned on their heels to meet the gaze of TV Castiel./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"The vision was constantly breaking up and fuzzing in and out, but it was something, at least it allowed Castiel to convey his information./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"The conversation was anything but enlightening. It started with questions- emmany/em questions that Castiel had no time to answer, which only left his friends more confused and annoyed than they had been in the beginning. Dean had asked if Castiel had something against giving straight answers and Castiel had deferred to his usual straight faced 'Yes'. It eventually progressed to Dean cursing about angels and Zachariah, which was undoubtedly expected and then to more questions. Yet, somehow inbetween all of the questions and snarky comments from Dean, Castiel was able to give the brothers their next instructions. They were to find Joshua in the Garden of Eve by following the road all while watching out for the light. The light that signified Zachariah./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Then the call began to drop again./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Is that all, Cas?" Sam had asked for the millionth time, while kneeling down to make eye contact with the TV angel. The boy sure insisted upon being thorough./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Castiel was about to say yes, when the house started rumbling beneath the Winchester's feet. He could hear the distant shatter of glass and watched as the lights flickered out above them. emHe/em was here./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""emWatch out for the light!/em" Was all Castiel had time to muster before a blinding light reflected down upon the two through the house window./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Before Castiel had time to yell at them to run, the two had gotten the hint and ran./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Then Castiel lost the vision and he was back in the uncomfortable chair in the small motel room with two dead bodies and discarded beer cans./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"He could only hope that the two were able to get to Joshua and avoid Zachariah./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"…/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"An hour or two must've passed before Castiel heard the rather loud gasps for air from the opposite side of the room. He could've left, but he needed to know if the two had managed to meet Joshua and gain knowledge on God's whereabouts./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"His eyes opened and he stood quickly, watching as the two previously dead men pushed themselves up and out of bed- the wounds vanquished from their bodies, but the blood still plastered on their clothes./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Castiel wanted nothing more than to blurt, asking for answers but he was decent enough to give the Winchester's a few moments to regain their composure. Or maybe he wasn't./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Did you find Joshua? Where's God?" Suddenly Castiel was besides Dean's bed, unable to stop himself from showering the two in questions. Waiting was for losers./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Dean just pursed his lips before slowly looking up at the angel was his spot on the bed./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Cas, we were just emdead,"/em Dean breathed, already annoyed with the angel. "Y'know a 'Hi' or 'How are you feeling?' or emsomethin'/em would be nice."/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Hi, Dean," Castiel's lips pulled into an agitated form, his tone dropping roughly as he glared at the man below him./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Dean finally stood, just the least bit threatened by Castiel's disposition, and looked straight into the angel's eyes./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""So?" Castiel asked expectantly, his tone lighting ever so slightly as he stood level with Dean./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""We talked to Joshua," Sam spoke up, eyeing the two who were seemingly trapped in a deadly staring contest. /p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Castiel broke his gaze with Dean before turning to face the taller one of the two./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""And?" Castiel raised a thin eyebrow, the anticipation was absolutley killing him. The sooner they knew where God was the sooner this would all be over./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""And he won't be helping us." Sam gave a curt nod, a sigh escaping his lips as he delievered the news./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"It took the angel a moment to comprehend Sam Winchester's words, but once he did Castiel's heart plummeted. The Winchester's were lying. They emhad /emto be. Castiel's eyes flicked from the floor to Sam's face, which implied that he was telling nothing but the truth and Castiel just stood there. Not knowing how to act or reply, but all he really knew is that he could emreally/em use that drink about now./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Cas," Dean's voice lingered as he stared at Castiel, trying to decide how to respond to the angel's uncomfortable and depressing silence. He had never acted like this before, and it was only a matter of finding out emhow /emto deal with it./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;"Castiel didn't give him the chance, he swiftly held up his hand, motioning for Dean to stop talking before he turned away./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""You son of a bitch," Castiel muttered, his eyes flicking up to look above him and at the cracked motel room ceiling. His harsh words directed towards God. "I believed in you- I emtrusted/em you."/p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;""Cas," Dean walked forward again, knowing that this had to be difficult for him- God was his emfather./em There really was no hope./p
p style="margin: 20px 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Trebuchet, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: justify;" But before either of the Winchester boys could respond, Castiel was gone./p