Token's smile was heart stopping. With a simple flash of perfect white teeth, Kyle found himself enraptured. He'd never seen another boy so… devilishly handsome. His strong, chiseled features struck Kyle speechless, and from the very first day of camp, he couldn't keep his eyes off him.
And it only got worse from then out. The more Kyle watched, the more he noticed just how smart Token was. They tied for top scores on all group activities. All the workshops, all the assignments, all the rigorous testing; the two were all but alone in the competition. Did Token notice him, too? Was Token as impressed with Kyle's brains as Kyle was with Token's?
This is wrong.
He started dreaming about Token. The dreams were vague, and all he remembered when he woke up were warm hands and Token's perfect smile. He wished that the dreams were clearer, that he could remember them, and maybe figure out this fascination he held for the other boy.
One night he caught Token coming out of the shower. Wet and naked and dripping, Token reached for his towel, completely unaware that Kyle was even in the bathroom.
Kyle stared.
And stared.
After that Kyle's dreams were more vivid, and after waking up in one too many cold sweats, he was pretty sure he'd figured out where his interests lied.
What was he supposed to do?
What if Token finds out?
Kyle's scores started dropping. If he wasn't careful, he'd lose the scholarship to Token. He couldn't help it, though. He couldn't focus. He was plagued with the memory of what he'd seen in the bathroom. With an image like that in mind, how the hell was he supposed to properly write an essay on George Eliot's Middlemarch? Women were the last thing on his mind.
He was shocked, though, at the disappointed look he received with his first score that dropped below a 97%. That frown did not belong on Token's face.
Extra effort and a little more studying earned Kyle another 100% and a smile. A smile! That was the first time Token's flawless smile had been directed at him; for Kyle and Kyle alone.
Does Token know?
They spoke for the first time, two weeks into camp. Token had asked if Kyle wanted to study together, and Kyle hadn't known what to say. He nodded his head and Token smiled again. That dashing, perfect, infectious smile.
They started staying up late together, powering through work books and practice sheets, discussing novels, sharing interests.
The gap of space between them on Kyle's bed started shrinking as the days passed. Their fingers brushed more than they should have, and their eyes only met for fleeting, shy moments. Kyle's cheeks flushed a flirtatious red and Token smiled and said how he liked the contrast with Kyle's freckles.
Token knows oh God he knows he knows oh God – does this mean he feels the same?
A soft touch, a lingering look, the unspoken desire. They could see it in each other's eyes and they didn't have to ask to know what the other wanted.
Kyle shuffled closer and his hands itched to touch him, his face, his hair, his chest, but Kyle kept his hands glued to the scratchy wool blanket beneath him. He wanted – wanted so badly – but he didn't want to impose. He thought he might have been imagining things when Token reached for him, but it was all too real.
This is still wrong.
He pulled Kyle in, his gentle arms, his strong chest, his warm, full lips – Kyle was sure he was imagining things; dreaming again.
He was on his back and his body felt too hot, way too hot. Token's tongue was in his mouth and his hands were in Token's hair. Their bodies pressed against each other, no room to breathe, but neither of them was willing to move away.
What if someone walks in?
Kyle moaned and his back arched, his body craving more contact with the one above him. His shirt was gone and so was Token's. There were hands on his skin and his nerves flared at the touch. He was thinking too much, yet not thinking anything at all.
Soon their pants joined their shirts on the floor. Token whispered sweet things in his ear, and he only flushed redder with their meaning. His heart beat hard, anticipating what was to come next.
Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong—
Token kissed him again and he shuddered, wanting, wanting, so much.
How did we get here?
A touch, a whispered name, the removal of their last shreds of clothing.
We should be studying.
The anticipation, the pain – oh God the pain – and then the burst of pleasure. A thrust and another and another and another—
What will our mothers think?
A kiss to quiet the moans, the groans, the desperate, keening sounds. He gripped at Token anywhere he could. His fingers slid with Token's damp skin.
Oh God, what if this is just a one time thing?
When they were spent, their bodies quaking with their peaked ecstasy, they fell together to the mattress. Kyle curled himself into Token's chest. He was tired and happy and still a little shocked and worried and all of these things. He wasn't sure what was most prominent, but he fell asleep with one thing in mind.
I really hope this isn't the end.
The next day when Kyle woke up, Token was gone.
Tears welled in his eyes and he felt numb and cold and alone. It felt like his heart was physically going to break. He curled his knees to his chest as he sat there. He tried so, so hard not to cry, but his chest caved with a resisted sob.
They barely knew each other. It was just camp; they'd never see each other again afterward anyway. There was no reason for Token to have stayed. None at all. Kyle knew that from the beginning.
Then why does it hurt so much?
There was a knock on his door and it startled him to the point of actually falling over. He climbed off his bed and it only made his heart heavier as he tried to stand on his wobbly legs. He wiped his wet eyes and composed himself as much as he could before going to open the door.
Token saw Kyle's red rimmed eyes, and his charming smile fell to a look of worry. He asked what was wrong and Kyle hugged him so hard that he nearly dropped the plates in his hands.
He came back!
They ate and laughed and fooled around and went back to their lessons... Things felt normal, good,right.
They'd figure it out. Sure they would. Now that they'd found each other, they didn't want to let each other go. But what would happen once camp let out? What would happen when they had to go home? What would happen if people found out?
I don't care. I'm happy.
