This. I dont even know.

Also, I uploaded 3 days worth of stories today, mainly because i've been too lazy to get on the site. So, yeah.

Disclaimer: I would make Hetalia so yaoi if I owned it. But dang it all, I don't...

"Duude!" America yelled loudly across the room.

"What do you want this time?" England said with exasperation, walking into the Kitchen where America stood, looking lost. He turned and looked at England, eyes widening as he made his puppy dog face.

"Englannnd. I'm hungry!" He whined.

England snorted and walked back out of the kitchen.

"This is your kitchen. Feed yourself. And you hate my food, remember?"

"Oh yeah!" America remembered. "I like France's food way better. But my hamburgers are totally the best!"

England whirled his head around and fixed his eyes on America, glaring. "Don't mention Francis. Ever."

America just laughed and followed England out of the kitchen, grabbing a rootbeer and a bag of Doritos. "You still mad at him?"

"Of course I am!"England replied, shocked. "How could I not be?"

"Well I bet it felt nice." America said, chuckling.

England slapped him.

"Oh you think you're funny, don't you, hm?" England began, "And how would you like it if someone drugged your drink, stripped you naked, dumped chocolate all over you, and then licked it off while you were tied up in his bed?"

America thought for a moment. "I think I'd like that very much"

England slapped him again.

"You want France… violating you?!"

America hummed and waved a Dorito at him. "I didn't say I wanted France doing it, geez. Learn to listen."

England blushed bright red. America decided it looked very cute on him.

"W-well, who would you want doing it?" He managed to stutter out, only accomplishing in turning his face even darker.

America smirked. He had him now. "You."

He waited for England's reaction, braced himself for a scream, another slap, anything. But it didn't come. England just stood there, jaw on the floor. America waited for him to do something crazy, or blow something up, but he didn't. He just stood there processing. And then he closed his mouth and furrowed his brow, and still calm, asked, "you want me. To lick chocolate off of your naked chest while you are tied to my bed. Just making sure."

America nodded. "Yup. Sounds 'bout right."

"Well I wont. Because frankly, that's disgusting." England began, crossing his arms. America's face fell. He was such an idiot! Of course England wouldn't do that. He was too stuffy and old.

"- I mean honestly!" England screeched, jabbing him in the chest with a finger, "chocolate!" He stopped his little rant to take a breath, and cocked his head sideways, studying America.

"Hmm" he sighed. America's face lit up. Had England changed his mind?

"Well," England sighed, "I guess I'll do it. But I'm going to use tea instead. And smear sugar all over your delicious body" He then turned and walked towards the stairs, and up to their room. This time it was America's jaw that dropped. Tea? He thought, numbly. That was so, that was so… sexy.

England paused halfway up the stairs, smirking, "I'll give you a few moments to, ah, prepare yourself. There's a long night ahead of us, love." before he ascended the stairs leaving him standing by the kitchen, stunned, beaten… and yet totally turned on.

America just turned around dazedly, and put on the tea kettle. Lord help me, he thought. I'm going to pay for this tonight.