I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
"I'll be right back, H!"
Eric could hardly bear to go, but he had a grip on Toller that he didn't dare release, even with the man handcuffed. He pushed him roughly ahead of him.
"Ryan! Walter! Anyone!" he yelled.
Then Ryan was there, a uniformed officer following.
Eric almost threw Toller at them. "Take him away!"
As PD officers took charge of the prisoner, Ryan grabbed Eric's arm. "Where's H?"
"Back there." Eric went to pull away from his colleague, then softened his voice. "I'll take care of him, Ryan… You go."
Ryan nodded, released him, and turned away.
Horatio lay on the concrete, his head resting on his hand. Eric knelt beside him. "H?"
The blue eyes flickered open. "Eric… Is Toller…?"
"Toller's in custody. Stop it. Stop thinking about him." He pulled out his cell phone. "I'm calling you a bus."
"No…"
"H… please… You can't even stand…"
"Let me rest a minute. I'll be all right."
"Horatio… You're not all right. You haven't been all day." And he did something he'd never done; he gently stroked Horatio's shoulder, then rested a hand on the back of his neck. "You're shaking…"
"I hurt, Eric…"
"I know."
"And I can't… get my breath…"
"I know that too."
He drew a short painful breath. "Help me up."
"Lie still. Give yourself a few minutes…. The others have gone…. It's just me."
And, surprisingly, his boss didn't argue. His eyes closed.
"Just don't faint on me," Eric added.
"Haven't yet," he murmured.
Eric smiled, a little sadly. All day he'd been surreptitiously watching his injured brother-in-law, unable to stop him doing what he always did, but expecting him to go down any minute. Watched him struggling after heavy blood loss from the bullet wound, and then near drowning. Watched him barely able to stand. Barely able to catch his breath. In agony. And this evening, though unable to keep him away from the landfill site, he'd finally managed to convince H to let him drive. At least it put him nearby. Even then, it was H who had taken Toller down. And Eric had found them, Toller on the ground, Horatio standing over him… H ghost-white, shaking… Eric gently - gentle with Horatio, never with Toller - took over, holding the gun, handcuffing their prisoner. Out of the corner of his eye, seeing H stagger backwards, and fall to his knees.
"How is it?" he asked softly.
"Don't know. Can't move…"
"I'm not surprised. Shall I go and bring the Hummer over?"
"Stay with me a minute…"
"OK." Eric resumed rubbing his back. For all their closeness, he had never touched Horatio like this, but he had no other way of giving comfort.
After several minutes, H drew the nearest he could to a deep breath. "Help me sit up."
Eric slipped an arm round him, and helped into a sitting position, propped against the compressed metal cube. "OK? Let me get the car. One minute… Less…"
There was the faintest tremor of a smile. "I'll be here."
Eric ran to the Hummer and drove it as near as he could. Horatio was leaning back, eyes closed. Eric knelt down beside him again. Horatio groped for his hand, and Eric took it. "Hang in there…" he murmured. That old useless phrase…
"I am. Thought I'd last the day. Sorry…"
"You need the hospital, H."
"Just a rest… I'll go home…"
"Hey…" He gripped the hand he was holding. " I lost my sister… Don't let me lose you too…"
"Not going to die, not now… I saw her, Eric… Mari…" He was silent and Eric waited for him to continue. He knew H had been crying her name, in the ambulance. "I miss her so much…"
"I know, brother, I know…"
He opened his eyes then, seemed to shake himself out of the stupor. "Help me up."
It took all of Eric's strength to lift him, and walk him to the waiting car. Somehow he got him into the passenger seat. He ran round and got into the driving seat. "Hospital? Please?"
"Home."
"All right. But I'm not just dumping you there. Let me look after you, at least."
Horatio gave a faint nod.
With some effort, they got to Horatio's apartment, and to his bedroom.
"I can undress myself, you know…" H murmured.
"OK. But let me look at that wound. You're bleeding again." Eric disappeared into the bathroom, searching for first aid stuff. And painkillers. He had no idea if Horatio would take them, or even if the hospital had supplied anything. He suspected H hadn't waited around long enough for that.
Horatio was in bed, bedclothes pulled roughly up to his chest. Eric bent down and pulled them back to reveal the bullet wound, covered with a blood-soaked hospital dressing. He peeled it away. The wound had obviously bled during the exertions of the day, but it wasn't bleeding now.
"It's not too bad," Eric said. "Let me clean it up. Is that OK?"
"Mmm." He lay unresisting, as Eric cleaned the area, and fastened fresh gauze over it. "What's it look like?"
"Like a bullet hole. But it's clean-looking. Doesn't look infected. Yet."
"Optimist, aren't you?" Horatio had a faint smile on his face.
"Always. Are you feeling better? You sound a bit better…"
"Lying down… Quite a relief…"
Eric frowned. The man still sounded painfully short of breath. "Have you had any pain medication?"
"No. Didn't think I needed it."
"H! How could you not?"
"It didn't hurt that much… Well, it did. Then it didn't. But it's been building up."
"And at the moment?"
Horatio considered. "I'd say… painful…"
"Master of understatement... Will you take something? I found some codeine in your bathroom… Better than nothing…"
"OK."
Eric gave him the pills and some water, and supported him while he took them. "Did they say why your breathing's so bad? Your lung wasn't hit, was it?"
"No. I don't think it hit anything except fat… And I've got plenty of that… They said… blood loss, so lack of oxygen… And nearly drowning - I think I breathed in water."
"You saved Nat's life though…"
"Thank God. Then she saved mine. I blacked out down there - she got me to the surface."
Eric sighed. "So how long is this superman act going to last? Are you going to give yourself a few days off?"
"That's unfair, Eric… 'Superman act'?"
Eric shook his head. "You don't know you do it, do you? Anyone else - twin traumas of a gunshot and a drowning - they'd be a week in hospital…"
"It didn't feel that bad."
"It had to! You were hallucinating in the ambulance! They thought you were dying, H! Christ, I thought you were dying!"
"It might take a bit more than that." He hesitated, then continued. "I don't go around thinking 'I'll pull a superman act'. Do you really think that?"
"No. But I think you feel you're the only one who can do the job - lead the team."
"It is my job. My responsibility. I can't say 'I don't feel like it today'. I have to do it. I remember telling you once…. I can lead the rest of you into dangerous situations, I can't send you." He gasped suddenly, and groaned. "Shit, that hurt!"
"Calm down… Relax…. Now, can I get you anything?"
"No, I'm fine now I'm here. You don't need to stay."
"Well, I'm going to. Get some sleep. Do you mind if I phone for some food?"
"Of course not. You might find something in the kitchen…"
"Are you going to eat?"
There was a rueful smile. "Definitely not." He closed his eyes.
Eric sorted out his own supper, while keeping half an eye on his boss. Horatio seemed to drop into a deep sleep. His breathing was too rapid, and there was a film of sweat on his forehead, but, if he refused hospital treatment, Eric supposed he could not do much more than watch him. He cleared up, switched off H's phone, and the entrance buzzer, and put his own phone on 'vibrate'. He even slid his boss's watch carefully off his wrist, and checked that the alarm was off. Then he settled down in a chair in Horatio's bedroom.
Horatio awoke after a couple of hours, immediately pushing the bedclothes back, and staggering to his feet.
Eric leapt up to catch him. "Hey, steady! Where do you think you're going?"
H shook him off. "Bathroom, and I can do that on my own."
Eric let him go. Even with the door closed, he heard him throwing up, and heard the stifled groan that followed it. But he left him alone, and soon H walked back in. Very white, one hand over his wounded side. He fell into bed.
"H?"
"Jeez, I could have done without that…" He focussed on Eric's worried face. "I swallowed harbour water… What did I expect?" He smiled, a little unhappily. "Hell… both ends… I really don't need it!"
"I'll get you some water… You don't need dehydration on top of everything else."
"Don't fuss me."
"Not fussing, brother. Just looking out for you. You'd do the same." And he watched the sick exhausted man drift back into sleep.
After a while, Eric repaired to the sofa in the living-room, and lay down. With the door between them open, he could still keep an ear open for Horatio… Except he was also exhausted. It had been a horrendous day, most of all because of Horatio and Natalia. Eric fell asleep.
It was getting light when he awoke. His immediate feelings were shock and guilt. He got stiffly off the sofa and ran into the bedroom. With relief, he saw Horatio was still asleep. He had pushed the bedclothes off, he was sweating, and his breathing was still laboured. But he was alive, and that, in itself, was a relief.
Eric tiptoed into the kitchen and put the coffee maker on. It was early, but not, he knew, too early for Calleigh. He called her at the lab.
"Hi, Cal, OK?"
"I am. Are you?"
"I'm fine…"
"Are you with Horatio?"
"Good guess," he chuckled. "Well, I wasn't going to leave him, and he stubbornly refused hospital…"
"How is he?"
"Not very good. But he's asleep. I'll see where we go when he wakes up. What's the situation there?"
"Nothing new. Nothing urgent. Stay with him, Eric. I'll hold the fort here, don't worry."
"I hoped you'd say that." Eric sighed. "Tell me, Calleigh, how do I get him to go to the hospital? He really needs it… I think he's got a chest infection… He's got a stomach upset from being in that filthy harbour… He's feverish, in pain… What am I to do?"
"See if you can persuade him, I suppose. Or override him… though it's not something I'd recommend. I could ask Tom to come out… He's an MD as well as a coroner. Should I do that?"
"I'll see how he is when he wakes up. I'll call you back." He poured a cup of coffee and walked back into the bedroom, settling down in the chair again.
Horatio stirred and groaned, and Eric watched him struggle into consciousness. His eyes were red-rimmed and he seemed to have trouble focussing.
"H…"
"Eric… You stayed? All night?" His voice trailed off into a breathy moan.
"I won't ask how you feel," Eric asked softly. "I can see…"
"I'm sick, Eric…"
"Yes, you are. Will you let me get you some help?"
In answer, Horatio tried to sit up. "I need the bathroom."
"All right. I'll help you…" Eric put a strong arm round him, noting the fever-heat of his body, and half-carried him to the bathroom door.
H leant on the door frame and weakly pushed his colleague's arm away. "I'll manage."
"You can't stand."
Despite his condition, the chin tilted defiantly. "I'll manage."
Eric shook his head, but could do nothing but comply, as he watched him go in and close the door. But after a few minutes, he knocked. "Are you OK?"
"Fine." He didn't sound it, but at least he was conscious. He came back after a few more minutes, walked unsteadily to the bed and sank back down. "I don't like this."
"I know. Will you get checked out?"
"I don't know. It might go…"
"H, you're worse than you were yesterday… It's not just going to 'go'…"
"It's only a flesh wound…"
"I'm not talking about that… You can hardly breathe… You're burning up - you've obviously got some sort of infection… I don't know why I don't just call an ambulance."
"Because you know I hate hospitals…"
But somewhere, in the hoarse, breathless voice, Eric could hear the mighty will-power weakening. He stayed silent.
H added, "but maybe I need one…"
"I think you do."
"Will you take me? No more ambulances…"
"If you think we can get to the car without you keeling over, I'll take you…"
"OK… I should shower…"
"No, you shouldn't. Just get some clothes on…" Eric pulled a pair of jeans and a t-shirt off the back of a chair. "Will these do?"
Horatio nodded.
"Skivvies?"
"Top drawer."
Eric handed him the clothes. "Do you need help dressing?"
"I do not." There was a trace of the Horatio-growl in there.
Eric chuckled. "Go on then. I've got to make a phone call. Don't try to walk. Not yet."
He walked into the kitchen and called the hospital, getting through to the Emergency Department.
"I'm bringing you an emergency. Not by ambulance. There won't be any hold-ups, will there?"
"Well, only triage, and…"
"No triage. No delays. This is a police matter."
"OK, Sir." The tone changed, as Eric gave his name. "The patient's name?"
"Lieutenant Horatio Caine. You saw him yesterday."
"We did. He discharged himself." Horatio had obviously left an impression.
"I know. And don't start telling me he shouldn't have. I'm bringing him in now. Twenty minutes, tops…"
"Can you give me details of his condition?"
"Bad. Breathing problems. Fever."
"Very well. I'll alert the doctor."
"Do that." As he closed his cell, Eric felt Horatio behind him.
"You tell 'em, bro…" H murmured, steadying himself on the counter.
"God, you look terrible…"
"I expect I do."
"OK to go?"
"Yep. Give me your arm."
It was typical of Horatio that, as soon as he stepped outside his own door, some small reserve of strength, willpower, whatever, kicked in. He would not, if he could help it, let himself down in public. Eric got him into the car without too much difficulty. There was little doubt, however, that the drive to the hospital was an ordeal. Eric watched him from the corner of his eye - he lay against the headrest, eyes closed, lips parted as he quite literally seemed to gasp for breath. He was running with sweat… fever, pain, or both… And he was shaking.
"If you're going to pass out," Eric said urgently, "just warn me."
"I'm OK."
Eric flicked a switch and activated the lights and siren on the Hummer.
H's eyes opened for a moment. "That's a bit extreme…"
"So are you," Eric said sharply.
The hospital was true to its word, and he managed to hand his boss straight over to a nurse, who took him to a cubicle.
A doctor stopped Eric in his tracks. "Let me check him out - I'll come and find you. Is there anything you need to tell me?"
"Nothing that won't be obvious. Except that he's also got a stomach upset. On top of his other problems…"
"From swallowing half the harbour, I don't doubt…" At Eric's surprise, he added, "I saw him yesterday. Told him to stay in. He's a fool."
Eric's eyes narrowed. "That's one thing he's not! He may not fit your criteria as an ideal patient, but that is one of the strongest bravest men you'll ever meet!"
"I'm sorry… It's just that this was so predictable. In here, we could have kept up the antibiotics… Stopped what's probably a nasty infection. I tried to explain. He wasn't listening."
"He had a serial killer to catch."
The doctor nodded. "Let me examine him - see how much damage he's done. I'll come and let you know."
Eric sat down and phoned Calleigh.
"Eric… Do you want Tom?"
"No, I've managed to get Horatio to hospital."
"Oh, well done. How did you do that?"
"He's too far gone to argue. The man is ill, really ill. Oh God, Cal, he could die. He could still die."
"No, Eric, no… Not now you've got him to a doctor…"
They talked for a few more minutes, until the doctor approached and Eric ended the call, and stood up. "How is he?"
"Very poorly. As you knew… You did well to get him here. There's a bad chest infection, probably from the dirty water again. Plus… well, it's really total exhaustion. Running around - I assume he was running around and not just coordinating - after that sort of blood loss… He must have been feeling desperately ill."
"He was. Not that he was admitting it. Well, only to me, I think. And only at the end."
"You're his second-in-command?"
"No, but he's my brother-in-law, as well as my boss. We're close… He will be OK?"
"It's going to take a while now. We'll put him on IV antibiotics and some fluids… Knock the pain on the head, and let him sleep. Few days - he'll be a new man. If I can keep him in, this time."
Eric smiled. "Let me talk to him."
"I wish you'd been here yesterday."
"So do I, doctor. Though he won't listen to me anymore than anyone else, if it doesn't suit him."
"Give me twenty minutes, Officer…?"
"Delko. Call me Eric."
"Twenty minutes. We'll get him upstairs, somewhere more comfortable, and get the meds started… Then you're welcome to see him." He hesitated. "Sorry I called him a fool. One of my staff has been putting me straight - he's a bit of a hero, your lieutenant."
"Yes, he is. He just won't admit to human frailty."
"Till the body gives up."
"This is a first."
"Really? In his line of work?"
"Really. It's a bit of an inside joke that he's superman. Always walks away without a scratch. Except this time… Doctor, promise me we're not going to lose him, are we?"
"No, no reason to think so. That sort of infection and fever on a… middle-aged man… could kill, but you got him here in time."
A short while later Eric was seated beside his brother-in-law in a fairly plush private room. Horatio was linked to a monitor and had no fewer than three drips in his arms.
Eric gestured to them. "Full works…"
H looked and sounded tired, but was clearly more comfortable. "Saline, antibiotics, and morphine. I've given in."
"About time."
"I know. Don't lecture me about it."
"I wasn't going to."
"It's how I am."
"One thing, H… Will you keep to medical advice this time? At least for a few days? You really don't want this to happen again."
There was a wry smile. "True."
"You should sleep. I'll be back this evening."
"Eric… Thank you."
Eric shrugged.
"I think you just saved my life."
Eric smiled, embarrassed. "I doubt that."
"I'm serious."
"Well, if I did, you're welcome."
"And I'm sorry for inflicting my… ailments on you."
"You hardly did that. Anyway, it doesn't matter. You're here. Now rest… OK?"
"Are you going into work?"
"I was."
"Keep me up-to-date, yes?"
Eric smiled, but didn't directly reply. "I phoned in. There's nothing urgent going on. I'll see how you are tonight." On a sudden impulse, he laid a hand briefly over H's, then left.
He drove home, to shower and change - he had slept in clothes that were already sweaty and dirty from the previous day's events. He was tired, and felt stiff from an uncomfortable night. And he felt unsettled, ridiculously so, by Horatio. Watching him crumble, after so many years of his legendary invincibility, had been a shock. Knowing that he had nearly died, more so. Knowing that he had wanted to, and maybe still did - with Marisol calling him - most of all. He wondered if he'd ever see his brother-in-law healthy and happy again. He had H labelled as mentally strong, as well as physically, but maybe that was where most of the damage had been done.
He was lost in thought when Calleigh caught his arm.
"Sorry, Cal…"
"You look grim. Is he that bad?"
"He's sick, but probably going to be all right…"
"So what is it? You know you can talk to me…"
Eric sighed. He wanted to talk, and he did trust her. "Come and have a coffee."
They took their coffee outside and sat on a wall.
"You know what he's like, Eric. You couldn't have stopped him." Calleigh put her hand gently on his knee. "We knew he was struggling - it may have seemed that we didn't care or hadn't noticed. We just couldn't do anything about it."
"I know that."
"Nat said… after they talked to North… Horatio was heaving for breath… but all he'd say was 'I'm good'. What can you do?"
"Nothing. I know. He says he saw Marisol… when he was in the ambulance… and since, I think…"
"He was in a bad way. People hallucinate."
"He seems as if…" Eric hesitated, wondering if he was betraying his friend. "He seems to be losing the will to live. Well, maybe that's exaggerating… but the will to carry on…"
"Oh Eric…" Calleigh took his hand and held it. "The man was in a desperate state… And we know… since your sister died… he's had no one. He's tired and lonely… I think we all know that… Add the trauma that he's just suffered…"
"Will he come out of it though?"
"I think so, Eric. He's a very strong man, you can't doubt that. I can't say I think he'll ever be happy, but I also can't see him just giving up…" She gazed at her colleague. "You do love him, don't you?"
"You know I do."
"You can't do any more for him, Eric. Just be there."
"I know. And it's crazy to worry about him - a grown man, nearly twenty years my senior… The man who trained me. I sometimes remember how he used to be, when I started out - bouncy, perky, rude, very sure of himself… but generally having fun. Well, you were there, you remember…Then Speed died… Raymond… Marisol… Then Jesse… There's got to be a limit to what he can stand."
"And you think he's reached it?"
"I really don't know. Maybe not yet. Not quite."
"Don't forget, he's never been physically hurt. Well, I know he was when he was with NYPD, but he was very young then. Never on this job. And physically he's tough. So to be taken almost to the point of death… The shock alone must be huge. He's feeling his own mortality, probably for the first time."
They sat in silence for a while.
"When are you seeing him again?" Calleigh asked.
"This evening."
"Can I come?"
Eric smiled. "Of course. I was going to go to his place after - clear up a bit. He had a hell of a bad night."
"I'll come and help." She chuckled. "I've never been to H's."
"It's nothing special. Comfortable enough. Functional. He said once 'It's just where I sleep.' But there are clothes all over the floor, a bed soaked with sweat… I thought… the least I can do is get it tidy. And - worse - I'm not sure where his badge and weapons are. I locked the place, but I didn't secure his guns. I'm afraid I wasn't thinking about anything except his health. Then - God forgive me - I fell asleep. Fortunately, he was OK."
"I can do housework, you know," Calleigh smiled. "Let me help - I'd like to."
After work, they went to the hospital together. The doctor was not there, but they met his nurse. "He's doing well… But you'll find he's very sleepy."
"We'll be quiet with him," Calleigh reassured her.
Eric thought he looked better. Unshaven, hair tousled - totally unlike their immaculate boss - but more relaxed. His face no longer looked as strained and the smile was more ready. His breathing was quieter, though still shallow and fast.
Calleigh bent to kiss him.
"I wouldn't get too near…" he murmured. "I desperately need a shower."
"Never mind that, sweetheart. How are you?"
"I don't know… Not exactly compos mentis… God knows what they're giving me…"
"But you're not in pain?"
"No."
She stroked his hair, then sat down beside Eric.
"How's work?" Inevitably, it was Horatio's first question.
"It's fine. Nothing major. I don't want you to worry about it," Calleigh said gently. "I'll look after things."
"I know you will."
"So how long are you in for?" Eric asked.
"Their estimate? Or mine?" But he smiled. "Four or five days."
"And you'll keep to that?"
"Sort of have to, don't I? It's embarrassing enough having to come back in."
Eric chuckled. "Only you would be embarrassed about something like that."
They did not stay long. Their boss was so obviously drugged and tired that conversation was difficult. And he needed rest.
They drove to Horatio's apartment. It was, as Eric had surmised, a bit of a mess. Calleigh began to investigate the abandoned clothes - not one, but two designer suits…
"There's about two thousand dollars worth here, and I don't know if any of it will survive…" The first had a blood-stained jacket, and pants still damp from his swim in the harbour. "I'll see what my dry-cleaner makes of it." The second had had its jacket used to beat out flames. "I think this jacket's too badly damaged." She moved onto the shirts, both bloody, sweaty, and one with a bullet hole in it. "I'll take the lot - see what's recoverable. He won't mind, will he?"
"I wouldn't think so." He opened a closet and smiled. "He's not exactly short of clothes - look."
Calleigh raised her eyebrows and flicked her hand along half a dozen examples of expensive Italian tailoring. "Wow…"
They turned to strip the bed. "I suppose he's got a laundry service," Eric mused.
"Can't quite see him wielding an iron," Calleigh smiled.
"I'll go and ask the Super." Eric gestured to the apartment. "Is it what you expected?"
"Not really. I thought something… cooler… more glamorous."
"'Glamorous'." Eric laughed and went out.
Calleigh finished stripping the bed and left it to air, while she turned her attention to Horatio's hardware. Both his guns were there, the SIG not fully loaded, and in need of cleaning after the previous day. His back-up - the little Beretta she admired so much - clean and unused in the ankle holster. She took them, and his badge and ID and wandered into the living area, wondering where the gun safe was. She found it, but it had a combination lock, and she had no idea of the code. It did not seem worth trying to crack it. She decided to take everything to the lab. She was struck by how anonymous the apartment was. No photographs, nothing overtly personal. A fairly diverse music and book collection, but nothing that really said 'Horatio'. She smiled. Her boss was, in fact, hugely charismatic, not easily forgotten once met. He also had great self-confidence (or he had, before recent events…) He would never feel the need to leave his mark on his living quarters. 'Functional' summed it up. There was evidence only of that, plus expensive tastes, in his wardrobe, his music system… Had she been processing this apartment, she would have found it difficult to pin down its occupant… Which was probably just what the enigmatic Horatio wanted.
