Songfic to Never Alone-Barlow Girl
Still probably needs a bit of tidying..ok, a lot of tidying, as i have no beta..Plus it's 3am :) Sorry for any errors/flow issues etc, i shall return to tidy. Vamps x -scuttles away-
I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No, no, no..
A young woman stands, alone, staring blankly at the memorial stone below her. Silent tears roll from her once brilliant jade eyes down her pale cheeks, leaving hollow tracks in their wake. Their viridian fire was long since extinguished, leaving behind only blackness, as cold and empty as a forgotten fireplace. Limp strands of pink hair fall across them as she bows her head, drawing her arms around her, tightly shielding herself against the pain.
This wasn't the way it was supposed to end...
The thoughts tumble through her mind, rolling around like a ship in an endless angry storm. She feels herself being pulled down towards the darkness, slowly slipping, she feels herself losing the will to resurface.
I needed you today
So where did you go?
It had been his funeral today. The powerful man she had endlessly admired, who had always been there for her, protecting her. He came so far, conquered so much. She sinks to her knees and bites her lip tightly, trying to block out the memories of him: Him running up to her after she passed her jounin exam, goofing about at the celebration party afterwards and her knocking him for six. Bright blue eyes sparkling as she told him the brilliant news. And him standing where Tsunade had previously, clutching the hat to his head with due pride as he faced everyone in the village...
If only it had lasted. The torn kunoichi slammed her fist to the ground, angrily pulling at the grass around her as tears continue their gentle journey. She still sees his blue eyes, wide with shock as he falls from Gamabunta's back, coat billowing with his final descent. It was like watching a film being played before her eyes. And all she did was watch...All she did was scream in the same pathetic way she always had, even after all those years. Even as she held him in her arms, hearing him tell her that everything was fine, she could still do nothing. Years of training, years of struggling to surpass her teacher...And it still wasn't enough. The loathing clawed at her, like a vicious beast tearing away her sanity.
"Naruto...I...I'm so sorry..."
She doubles up, clawing at her stomach as sobs ring through the night. He should have been there, where was he? Didn't he care at all? If not about her, at least for him. She retches, her dry throat aching as a drop of blood dribbles down her chin. The remedy seems to be taking effect.
You told me to call
Said you'd be there
And though I haven't seen you
Are you still there?
Drops of rain begin to tumble down from the heavens. Turning her face skywards, the tiny pellets of water bounce off of her delicate skin and cracked lips. She draws a deep rattling breath before closing her eyes against the world, letting each drop slowly soak through her. As her skin turns to ice, she rocks backwards and forwards. Why did it matter to her? At least this was real. At least she was finally feeling something real. The numbing sensation was just a brief release from the pain and loneliness. But not long now, she thinks.
And where is he, she asks herself. All she wants is to know she's not alone.
'I couldn't save them...any of them...Sasuke...Naruto...Tsunade...'
She screams out for him, screams for anyone, knowing it is futile. Her small voice echoes, emptily, through the graves. Nobody cares anymore, nobody has the time. She desperately needs him...The only person who has failed time and time again to protect those he loves. The only person to share her pain and her guilt. The only person left for her. He's all she has.
I cried out with no reply...
And I can't feel you by my side...
The woman barely notices as her muscles start to shut down, her breathing becoming shallow and forced. The rain pounds but she feels nothing. She smiles sadly, reaching out with all her might to stroke his name etched on the memorial. Naruto...He had never truly grown up. And he'd always cared, he'd be here with her if he could...
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here, and I'm never alone
Her hand drops to her side, body shuddering desperately as the mixture takes effect. She chokes, blood filling her mouth with a foul iron taste before trickling down her chin. Silently, her body curves, falling. She lands, almost gracefully, on the soft ground in front of his name.
And though I cannot see you
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life
A soft smile lies on her blue lips, and she can see him, sadly shaking his head at her stupidity. Suicide. What a pathetic, pointless end for a shinobi. It must have been obvious to the staff what she was brewing, but maybe they just didn't care. She'd only been hanging around like a bad smell, her body resembling that of a corpse more and more as the days went by. It just made sense to finish the process quickly and spare them the agonising wait for complete organ failure. The mixture had just the right levels of painkillers and cyanide salt, with a few added ingredients for a slow and numbing retreat from this life. It was a beautiful creation, if she said so herself.
But where was he? She had wanted to see him once more... She needed to apologise for being a rubbish student and for losing him his reputation. She wanted to hold him one last time, tell him how he was stupid for getting involved with someone like her. It made no difference whether love or loneliness had brought them together in the end, she had been so fond of that perverted old man. She smiles into the cold ground, too numb to move anymore.
The kunoichi can't feel her heart pounding frantically against her ribs as each cell dies, starving of oxygen. She doesn't feel her body shudder, lungs constricting in a final desperate, futile attempt to draw in air. She doesn't hear the terrible death rattle that sounds her last breath to the world…
She's already gone as he approaches, knees crashing into the sodden ground beside her. A shaking hand turns her body towards him and her head follows, rolling awkwardly. Everything is far too still. Pink strands of hair cling to her sallow cheeks, cracked lips parted in a sort of sad smile. The crashing rain makes no sound as he watches her.
We cannot separate
'Cause you're part of me
And though yu're invisible
I'll trust the unseen
He knows it's too late. Crying, he lifts her lifeless form and cradles her against him. He prays that she knows how hard he'd tried to be there. Her blank eyes stare skywards, taking in everything and nothing all at once. She's gone, and he yells through his pain.
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here, and I'm...
Never...
Alone.
