That's Russian by the way, I thought it would be appropriate for Zetsu; and just so you know, I don't know any Russian, I used a translator on the internet. The title is supposed to be 'all cats are grey at night' in English, if you speak Russian and that title isn't correct please let me know. Thank you! And for the sake of a little fun this is post the Kakuzu, Hidan death arc and the pre Deidara goes up in flames arc... or whatever the crap you call it. You'll see what I mean. :D And I didn't contract most of the words because I think Zetsu would talk like that if he ever had a long drawn out conversation because he's a loner and probably talks formally most of the time. Just my opinion though, he doesn't have much airtime for me to be decisive. Now enjoy!

"I am hungry."

"We are always hungry."

"I wonder why."

"We suppose we crave the connection... and it feels good to be full."

"All humanity is intertwined after all."

"We just speed along the process."

"Everything eventually dies."

"You mean everything is wasted, such a pity."

"It's a natural part of life, a cycle."

"Yes everything eats everything else... or tries to."

"I never understood vegetarians."

"Pansy losers."

"Behave... Do you suppose we were meant to be vegetarians, you know, in the beginning?"

"The beginning of what?"

"The world. Do you suppose when everything was new and pure creatures didn't eat each other?"

"We think there was no beginning. There has always been fighting. Peace is wishful thinking."

"Why?"

"Because to get peace there is fighting. It's hypocrisy."

"Perhaps it's more misguided than hypocrisy."

"That's delusional. People like to fight. It's the thrill of the hunt, of dominating something weaker than yourself."

"True, the hunt is exciting."

"And the smell of fear when they realize they are the prey... delicious."

"Humanity is so arrogant."

"Always thinking that they are on top, that they aren't affected or affect anything."

"Sometimes they are... we are."

*snicker* "True."

"So what separates man from beast?"

"Who says they are?"

"People do not generally behave like animals."

"Oh no because they think and feel. Submission is submission whether it's articulate groveling or not."

"But what of love?"

"An anomaly."

"That can't be it or people wouldn't seek it out as they do."

"An excuse to copulate?"

"People don't always have sex to propagate the species, they enjoy it. That is different from animals."

"True, animals have seasons and they don't seem to enjoy it very much."

"Odd."

"We agree."

"So if there was more sex there would be less war?"

"You certainly can't do both at the same time."

*snicker* "... So is there war because there is loneliness?"

"Perhaps, we notice that there is more fighting over differences than because they want to be together."

"You are right. That would be a paradox."

"Yes."

"But then what is the reason?"

"There is no reason, people just want power."

"That is true. They come up with any reasons that they want."

"And we will be there to enjoy all those bounties of war, spoiled or not."

"Why work when they will just hand to me what I want?"

"Kakuzu would be so proud."

*snicker* "Too bad he is dead."

"He was foolish and gave the enemy too many openings."

"What do you think happens when you die?"

"We return to the earth."

"Do you think there is an afterlife."

"Hidan interested you?"

"Yes."

"Well he better hope there is an afterlife."

*snicker* "So what do you think?"

"We honestly don't know, we'll find out when we die."

"You think that I should look into afterlives?"

"Like we are shopping?"

"That sounds so callous."

"That's what it sounded like."

"What I meant is should I be concerned?"

"Who knows?"

"Sometimes I worry."

"We do worry, they say that you should just 'live your life right' but that means nothing. Our right is different from other 'rights'."

"It is very confusing."

"We will live our life how we see fit; I do not think that there is anything afterwards."

"That is so lonely."

"Yes."

"That makes everything people do a waste of time."

"Yes."

"What is the reason to do anything if there is no reason?"

"Maybe there is a deity. We do not enjoy feeling pointless either."

"So it seems that the only reason for government is to secure reason where there is none."

"The reason for government is so there will not be anarchy."

"Then if there should not be anarchy, then why are there revolutions?"

"Because, as we said before, people like to fight. They are hungry."

"I still do not understand."

"The government regulates people's desires so that all may live in harmony and not in constant fear."

"Then why do they constantly strain against the bonds that they have placed on themselves?"

"It's nature, it's the only way that some of them may fight."

"People do not make much sense."

"We much prefer the woods and earth."

"They do not change in the way that people do."

"They don't talk back either."

"Or tug on you and your clothes."

"Or comment on the color of our private parts."

"Or call you a schizo."

"Or ask where the neighbors went."

"Or ask if it's a full moon yet."

"Or try to feed us fertilizer."

"Or blacken all the sun lights."

"Bastards."

"I agree."

"...We know where Kisame keeps Sameheda's bandages."

"Let's glue them together."

*snicker*

"We also know where Deidara's extra clay is."

"Let's replace it with play dough."

*snicker*

"I think I know why people try to break the rules."

"It's because of all the bastards in the world."

"So true."

"We better hurry before they get back so they will think Tobi did it."

"Because Tobi is a good boy."

*snicker*