Who I Really Am - A Buttlord Story
By: Eliyora
Main characters: Buttlord (in this case named Emma Star), Kenny, Craig, Tweek, Butters, Kyle, Wendy, Cartman, Stan
Summary:Because of a lifetime on the run from the government, my family has always had to hide who she is, what she is. They even went so far as to make me pretend to be a boy. But no one, no matter how old, can pretend to be something they aren't for long... especially when feelings come into play.
Prologue
How long has it been? 4 years? 5? I can't even remember. It's been so long since I've been able to be me that I've started to forget who "me" is.
Mom and Dad avoid calling me by my name all the time. It's always "kiddo" or "champ" or something like it. The kids in the neighborhood we live in now don't even know what my name is. How could they? No one's ever told it to them. The teachers at school all call me "New Kid" all the time like they don't know my name either.
Dad probably told them not to. He's done it before.
Mom and Dad have me wear super neutral clothes. Just plain t shirts and jeans. They also have me put my hair up all the time so that no one knows what I really am. All of the kids, except one, think I'm a boy because of it.
They mean well. I know they do. Ever since me and my new friends played superheroes, I know that they do these things to protect me from whoever is looking for us. Even when I didn't know why they made me pretend, I still did because I knew there was some reason they did. Mom and Dad, they love me. I know they love me. Back before I fixed everything, they would stop fighting whenever they saw me. They love me so much that they didn't want to upset me, no matter how much it hurt them. Everything they've ever done has been for the sake of protecting me.
That's why I never talk.
They try so hard, always, every moment, all for me. If anyone were to hear my voice, they would know. I sound nothing like a boy. I don't talk so I don't give it away. Or, at least I didn't.
Not before I met... him.
I never trusted anyone because my parents were afraid of everyone. I suspected people all the time because I didn't know who I was supposed to be afraid of. Even when I started playing with the kids of this town, I didn't trust them at all. I just did it because I was bored and Dad told me to make friends.
There was one kid in the group who was really weird. He acted way different than everyone else, like he had no care what others thought of him and was going to do what he wanted. It was amazing to see. Shameless, unapologetic, determined, not afraid to play dirty if he needs to...
I was just amazed, even if at the end of our first game he decided to betray everyone and became our final boss. Here was someone who pretended to be what he wasn't, and yet somehow was far more free than I had ever been.
Then we all played superheroes. He was in the opposing team, so I didn't get to see him as much. In fact, the first time I did, we had to fight. Even so, he kept warning me. He kept telling me how Cartman was only looking out for himself. What's more, he said I should come to Freedom Pals.
As my enemy, he looked out for me, and for no reason other than it was right.
When I was sent to be a mole in Freedom Pals, he was stoic, suspicious, but mentioned that he had an urge to protect me. He even said I was "alright" after I helped Tweek and Craig. He became a staunch ally and fought alongside me many times. He even confided in me that, much like me, he has actual powers. His are not just pretend, but very real, and he suffers for them constantly. It hurt to hear because I understood. I knew what it was like to have real powers, and for them to be a source of constant pain. I very nearly betrayed Coon and Friends, just for him. I wanted to stay on whatever team he was on.
That was when I knew. It had only been a short while, but that was when I figured it out, and that's why my whole world has become a lot more complicated.
My name is Emma Star, and I am in love with my friend, Kenny McCormick.
The only problem is, he has no idea who I actually am.
