Control

By xCrushx

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Weiss characters

Author's note: Fuck the world.

Dedication: To Nicole, who no matter where you think she stands, always ends up on your side. She's the type of person you want to get to know because she's just so amazing. And she always knows how to make you feel better. Love ya, Nik.

You held me close and whispered that you were sorry. Maybe it never occurred to you that I knew you were lying, maybe that I had stopped caring the day I met you. Maybe if you knew this you would never lie. You would have left me long ago, like we both knew you wanted to.

It's something I could never quite get across to you, the fact that I can hear what you think. I know exactly what you think. The lies, the guilt, the lovers. I know it all. I would like to say that you hurt me. Apathy is something you taught me. You pull me closer, the apology getting louder, more insistent.

It's like you think you're okay, and you tell yourself you are. And then you find out that you really aren't okay but you can pretend. Because you've been pretending for so long is seems almost natural and no one notices anymore. You've gotten good at pretending by his point. I always had to pretend with you.

Your voice keeps getting louder, as do your thoughts. I feel as though my head might explode. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. Please stop. God, the yelling. So, so loud.

I always wanted to tell you that you meant as much to me as I meant to you. Nothing. I never could. Every time I had the chance all I managed to get out were tears or a sling of German curses. Something else you never quite understood.

Why?

I can read your mind. I can make you think or do anything I ever could possibly want. I can break you in a single moment, single second, single breath. You don't understand that, my darling. There aren't many powers above that of a telepath.

I could steal your life. Given the chance and right situation I could be you. But that's not the point. The point is I know what you are thinking, Omittichi, and you can hurt me no more. I know what you are thinking when we fuck, when you tell me you love me, when you climb through my window. I know it all, and it doesn't mean anything anymore.

You stop for a moment, meeting my eyes with your own. I always believed you were innocent. It's the eyes. They make you so small, so young. I've discovered your mask. You hide behind your eyes, hurting those you love, simply because you could. You played them.

Just like you played me. Maybe I believed you, maybe I didn't. I don't even know you anymore, not that I ever really did. Maybe it's my fault for wanting control, for falling in love. For playing my part.

My disease is all about control. Controlling your thoughts so you recognize them, manipulating other's thoughts so they do what you want. After awhile I saw how you resembled it. So like a drug, wrongful and addicting…but so good. A curse you cannot live without, that was you, baby, my curse.

Slowly you look up at me, eyes bright and wide. You reach over and touch my face gently, "I'm sorry it had to end this way." I nod, because I understand. I smile as you fall into my arms. You should've believed when I said I could control you.

Tomorrow's my turn to be sorry.