Drumming song
Prologue
Rose
I can feel him getting closer. In the deepest, darkest crevices of my mind is a beat. A continuous thread of beats: One. Two. Three. Four. It echoes through my mind into my body. The sound is familiar, personal, yet somehow distant. Forbidden.
I cannot ignore it. I cannot escape it. I know I must treasure it. I must treasure it as a widow treasures her lost lover's useless trinkets. It is so rare, powerless, useless to me, but at the same time it feels more important than any human on this earth could ever comprehend.
I know I must follow it, not in the literal sense: the owner of these beats is lost to me, a painful fact I must face. I must follow what is contained within the beats, the very essence of his soul: compassion, humility, Love.
In every action I take I am aware of the beats, their constancy and their patience. My actions reflect the essence of the beats: the soul of their owner. But, within my heart is a painful, gaping hole. The beats numb the pain, but do not erase it.
I am forever broken. The only one who could fix me is lost to me. He cannot return and I cannot leave. I am one half of a whole, like the night with no dawn, dark and lost, forever roaming and searching for the light, but the mere remembrance of the light is blinding and painful.
The beats weren't always there. It was quiet to begin with. Normal. Well, more so than now. When the beats came they were quiet at first. I had to listen hard and block out the present, the pain. They felt like fragile bursts of life to my soul. With each beat they grew stronger and so did I. But I soon realised that however large my good deeds were, however hugely my actions were affected by the beats, however much happiness they brought, that they were wrong.
The beats are his hearts. I don't think he is aware I can hear them. But I do know that it means his time is ending. His death is imminent, awaiting one last final mistake before he is lost forever. I cannot let this happen. I will find a way. I will cross the worlds: the boundaries that separate us. Somehow I will find you, I will save you, if it's the last thing I do.
Your hearts, your life, your soul are in my hands, literally.
