Disclaimer: No joke I really am working on Ridi, but I've had four or five drinks already, and am watching Boy Eats Girl, and this popped into my head. I suppose you could say I'm giving you a zombie fic, although it's on a misc. movie very few people have probably heard of. Too bad, it's a fun movie. You should watch it. Boy Eats Girl in no way belongs to me.

BEG

She was breathing so fast and shallow she was on the verge of hyperventilating. Grime and blood covered her body and filled her nostrils with a smell that nearly made her gag. Her legs, cramping from being held in one position for so long, were screaming at her to move, although she was certain that if she tried she would either fall down or be found and eaten.

Most likely eaten.

Red hair falling in her face again, she blew it out of the way in an attempt to keep her line of vision clear. Her grip on the bat tightened as she shifted only just, trying to relieve the strain in her calves and thighs. Her jeans were digging into her skin, but the teeth of the denim were better than the teeth of the alternative. She had been playing this game of cat and mouse, run and hide for the better part of the afternoon, until finally she found this hiding place in the back alley behind the video store. At first she had been freaked out when she spotted the corpse hanging from the roof of the adjacent building, but when she realized he wasn't going to get back up she squashed herself behind a dumpster.

That was probably close to six hours ago and she hadn't moved since. It had been dark for nearly thirty minutes, and she seen or heard one of those things in nearly ten. She was beginning to get hungry, and her bladder was pulsing uncomfortably. Deciding it was better to gather an idea about what was happening rather than wait by the dumpster till something found her, she hazard a few steps out toward the road. She heard footsteps make their way down the road, and flattened herself against the shadowed wall. Hours of sitting there waiting had taught her a thing or two, and she certainly recognized that one set of footsteps coming her way had a limp.

A group of four wandered by, and as soon as they passed her she rushed out and with a scream bashed the nearest one in the back with her bat.

"MOTHER FUCKERS!" she shouted victoriously as it fell, only to be aided by its companions. Wait a minute . . . had they helped each other before?

"What the fuck just hit me?" she paused for a moment, confused as the one on the ground rolled and the others bent down. Did they talk before, too?

"Nathan?" she asked quietly, the bat dropping to her side as she watched the group before her get to their feet. She recognized them now. Nathan and Henry, and her good friend and biology partner Jessica. And Diggs.

"Kate?" Diggs and Henry stopped what they were doing, nearly dropping Nathan in the process as they eyed her.

"You're not . . . you're not one of them are you?" Henry asked as Diggs took a step back. Although she wouldn't admit it, watching him do that hurt Kate's feelings. Nathan, she realized belatedly it was Nathan she pegged in the back, was helped up by Jess. Diggs and Henry began circling her, trying to decide if she had been bitten and if she was safe or not.

"I could ask you the same thing. I've been doing a good job of keeping my ass in one piece, and I won't let you blokes ruin my record." Lifting her weapon again to prove her point, she readied as if she were up to bat in a softball game, and both boys circling her stepped back quickly.

"Whoa, whoa, wait, jus wait a minute. Those things don't talk. So then doesn't it stand to reason that the five of us are still, ya know, functional or what not?" Henry offered, backing up as Diggs hid behind Nate and Jess. Slowly Kate lowered her bat and after a few seconds of contemplation, nodded. She could at least admit that made sense.

"I suppose. So, how'd you guys manage to survive for so long?" she asked, wrapping her sweater a bit tighter around herself as the group began walking again. Kate wasn't quite sure where they were going, but at least being in a group was better than being alone.

"Well, Nathan was sorta one of them but then he was cured when his mum threw a snake at him," Diggs began, and while Kate looked at Nathan in curiosity, his look clearly stated he would explain later and his friend continued, "so that exempts him. Jess was up at her place, which I'm sure you know is isolated. And me and Henry found ourselves out there with Cheryl in a broom closet right near the end." Kate stopped walking at that, but only Jess noticed, and only Jess knew why. She knew her friend had a bit of a crush on the scruffy sandy haired teen.

"Cheryl huh? So where is the little slut?" the group shared a look, and Kate instantly knew what happened to the blonde vixen.

"She was eaten by Samson and Shane."

The group was quiet again, but Kate started laughing. Laughing so hard small tears of mirth leaked from her eyes, and she wiped them away as the others looked at her strangely.

"Sorry, I was just thinking of the irony in that." She laughed again, and this time her friends joined her, although Diggs' laughter ended before anyone else's.

"I still can't believe she's gone . . ." he moaned, and Kate looked at him sharply as Henry rolled his eyes. Nate sighed, although Jess seemed to be the only other person genuinely curious as to whom the young man was talking about.

"Here we go again." Henry moaned as Diggs fell to his knees with his arms open. The group kept walking.

"Charlotte. My one and only. The Juliette to my Romeo; the Lois Lane to my Clark Kent, the jelly to my peanut butter, the hand to my -" the rest of his sentence was cut short by Jessica, who slapped a hand over his mouth while pulling him to his feet. This time everyone but Diggs noticed the melancholy look cross the redhead's face.

"We get it Diggs, but you gotta realize there are plenty more fish in the sea. Especially now." They had been walking again, in the direction of Our Lady of the Star - the Old Catholic church - Kate realized, and she was feeling worse and worse as Diggs just kept talking.

"But she was perfect! Those eyes, that blonde hair, those breasts. She was my soul mate. I'm certain she was my soul mate and I was only able to tell her how I felt after she wanted to feast on my flesh. And not in the good way, ya know? But the way that leaves you with scars and all you want to do is -"

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Everyone stopped to look at Kate in confusion as she suddenly stopped and threw her bat to the ground. Spinning on her heels she grabbed the most awkward boy she had ever known by the shoulders and kissed him soundly on the mouth. Having never been in this position before, all he could do was stare wide-eyed at her closed orbs, his arms waving frantically as her mouth dominated his,

"Would you shut up! Cause those other fish in the sea include a girl who's liked you since grade nine." She shouted at him once she released him lips, then turned and stomped back towards her dropped bat. With a fire in her eyes no one had seen before, she stormed away.

Diggs looked after her with an expression that almost resembled repulsion. He'd never been kissed before, not by a girl other than his mom at least, and this experience gave him a strange feeling in his stomach. Nowhere near what Charlotte gave him when she looked his way. Not even close. It was a feeling he liked; actually it was a feeling he liked a lot. A feeling he wanted to have again.

Blowing past his friends who were waving hands in front of his face and threatening to pinch and or punch him, he chased after Kate and grabbed her by the arm. Spinning her around he kissed her harder than she had ever been kissed, invading her mouth when she gasped in pleasant surprise. She dropped her bat in order to wrap her arms around his neck, and the pair ignored the cooing of their asshole friends as they made fun of them.

"Well, at least he shut up." Nathan supplied as they grabbed Diggs by the arm and dragged him away, still kissing the air as he went. Jess seized Kate, and as a whole the band of friends made their way towards the old church, hoping they didn't run into any zombie stragglers that would try to eat their brains. And while Diggs had stopped talking, he did follow Nathan and Jessica's lead and took Kate's hand. And Kate did smile, like Jessica, when she met eyes with the man's whose high school heart she had finally caught.

Which left Henry: wondering why it was that even though he was the coolest, smoothest member of their group, he always ended up odd man out. Life really sucked sometimes.

Four blocks later, Kate finally looked at Diggs with something other than googily eyes and smirked.

"So, you boys and Cheryl in the broom closet, huh?"

Where were the zombies when you needed them?

BEG